2011 New Year's Resolutions
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Resolutions
and a 2010 Reflection [ of sorts ]
I honestly don't know why I try every year, since I usually forget about these,
but hey, it' s a new year
I. To be more happy and to live life to the fullest.
I feel like the past couple of years I've sort of just been wallowing around. I've had a lot to deal with this past year, and I think I let all the stress and worry get to me much more than I should have let them bother me. Also I'm a bit of a pessimist and I tend to think that everything is going wrong and I'm completely powerless. The other day, I realized how unhappy I've been as of late because of certain things, but it often results from my laziness and stubbornness to change and be happy. I guess sometimes it's easier to let things happen and to be upset about them than to switch it around and think that something positive will come out of it. No more mopey, isolated feelings 2011. I hope. Because I've had enough of that for 2 years.
II. To read more, once again
I used to read a book a day, as I often mention. Reading was pretty much that joy in my life when I was younger, and I sort of lost the ability to forget the world while I was transported into the book's world because schoolwork and daily stresses and the internet took over. I've been reading the Hunger Games trilogy over Winter Break, and they've renewed my desire to read, so I'm hoping that I'll get to do a lot of that during 2011, busy or not.III. To continue to strengthen my relationship in Christ
I have to admit that 2010 was not a particularly strong year for me in this area. Once again I found myself depending on myself, and worrying alone, and trying to figure things out by finding solutions that I could control and carry out on my own. There were moments were I did really see Him working in my life, but overall I think I'm still growing, and still reaching for something that has been a part of my life since I was a little girl but still has the potential to mean much, much more. I know what He has done for me, and this year I'm really looking to reciprocate that love more than I have before.
IV. To get to know people at church more, and to make new friends outside of church
The past couple of years, when all of this trouble sort of began, I've kind of been stuck in a standstill in terms of friendships. I've met so many people at CBC, and gotten to know them little by little, but I still feel isolated (admittedly, it's often self-isolation). I'm grateful for all of them, and I would trust a lot of them with my life, but I'm realizing more and more that I still don't really know a lot of them very well three years later. That pessimistic side of me tells me it's because I will never fit in anywhere, but I guess that's the point. I have to stop thinking that nothing will work. School has been worse. A lot of people hate school because of the work, but enjoy it for the friends aspect. I have neither of these things to look forward to; school has just become my "dead place" where I've given up on ever making great friends. I guess a lot of this ties in with being more positive (I.). I've never been one of those outgoing people who can grab and keep friends forever from the start. I think I need to talk more , and be more willing to talk to people I don't usually talk to rather than the same three people everyday. (I think sadly, the number really is 3)
V. To fill out my writer's notebook and write that stupid novel
Self-explanatory
VI. To completely my 365 Day Collage Project
Basically, adding one piece to a cork board each day to signify either an emotion, event, or interest that day/general time.
VII. To take better care of myself
I should probably exfoliate a lot more than I have been right now. Drink more water. Lose a couple pounds or two-but not even that, just get more healthy. Brush my hair more instead of leaving it a frizzy tangled mess. Etc.
VIII. To somehow stop being lazy and learn how to drive in four months so I can get my license.
Also self-explanatory, and a topic in which I do not like to dwell on or I get super mopey for some reason because I'm pretty much the last of my kind/age to drive. At least it feels like I am. [Though honestly, I probably am]