wow. when i stop crying i'll think of something to say.
he knows how much you loved him. for every one of the things you wish you did differently there were dozens of other things you did just right. hopefully now that you got all of those out you can just think of all the good things. especially that last day - i know you wish you'd had a little longer with him but you had a normal day, the familiar routine he was used to and that would have been more comfortable to him than if you'd changed anything.
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he knows how much you loved him. for every one of the things you wish you did differently there were dozens of other things you did just right. hopefully now that you got all of those out you can just think of all the good things. especially that last day - i know you wish you'd had a little longer with him but you had a normal day, the familiar routine he was used to and that would have been more comfortable to him than if you'd changed anything.
i'm so sorry. :(
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