MySpace
At work we have a MySpace account with which we try to cause mischief. I found these posts humerous and would like to share. I hope you like to read.
Survey the first:
I hope your not expecting me to be completley honest, some things are meant for surprises....
1)Male or Female?--male
2)Single or married?-- single, there's only one of me
3)Do you lust for someone? and how
4)Love someone? love 'em and leave 'em
5)Virgin? not anymore, thanks mom
6)Favorite position? full nelson
7)Last time you had sex? no, i plan on doing it again
8)Are you a sexually active person? yeah... it's more fun than just laying there inactive
9) Is there someone you want to have sex with and they dont know it? This question is unnessesary unless someone goes around telling everyone they want to fuck "Hey, we've known each other for awhile and I thought you might want to know that I really want to fuck your brains out."
10)Toys ok during sex? Have you tried to build a robot out of legos during intercourse? I don't suggest it.
11)Food? I do like to have sandwich on standby for afterward.
12)Do you masturbate often? Is more than one a day often?
13)Have you had sex with anyone on your myspace friends list? Not yet.
14)Have you ever faked an orgasm? Who hasn't?
15)Are you quiet during sex? No... it's kinda like a baboon and a rabit cat fighting.
16)Have you ever left someone because they could not please you in bed? Yes
17)Do you enjoy oral? Depends on the oralizer
18)One place you'd love to have sex that you haven't? In the butt.
19)Have you ever done it in a public place? Of course.. gotsta keep things interesting.
20)Do you enjoy morning sex? Not if i've sobered up.
21) Is foreplay a must? fore... what?
22)Music during sex? not usually
23)Have you ever slept with a friends mate? not thatI can think of.
24)Are you attracted to the same sex? sexually?
25) Name one thing you wont do during sex? I'll never let a girl drop a cleveland steamer on my chest while going down on her father who's fisting her grandmother who's giving it to my mom with a baseball bat who has vomited on my dick and is now giving me a sloppy vomit bj... again
26)Have you ever cried during sex? Only during that time I just described.
27)Would you have sex with the person that posted this? Sure... she seems like a 'goer'
Survey II
Fuckin' A - it's a survey!
1. First thing you did this morning.....
Did that thing that makes God cry.
2. Last thing you ate?
The heart of my enemy... to gain his courage
3. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?
Cell phones are the opiate of the masses.
4. What's the thing you look forward to most in the next 6 months?
The return of the McRib
5. What's annoying you right now?
This survey is pretty high on my list
6. What's the last movie you saw in a theater?
Tron
7. Do you believe in long distance relationships?
I believe they exist. I also believe that unless the long distance is temporary that the relationship shant work.
8. What's Worse?
a) getting hurt
b) people not being real with you
c) not getting everything you try so hard for
I hate it when mah peeps don be keepin it real wit me, fo sho.
Jesus Butt-Fisting Christ this is a stupid question.
9. Is there someone you miss?
Tupac
10. What inspires you?
Scatalogical pornography
11. If you could put together a concert of 5 bands or artists, who would you choose?
No
12. Song that sums up your love life?
Chip n Dale's Rescue Ranger's theme
13. What's one thing you wish you were better at doing?
Hiding hooker's bodies.
14. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be?
Germany
15. What's your most vivid memory from 6th grade?
Discovering masturbation
16. Latest addiction?
Nipple clamping
17. Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone?
Kill them to death?
18. How many people would you say were interested in you?
0 < x < Everybody where 'x= number of people interested in me'
19. What do you love doing?
Filling out this questionaire
20. Do you think about someone daily?
It's quite difficult to not think about someone at some point everyday. I think this question means to ask if the taker thinks about a spicific person daily, but fails because the author has down syndrome and therefore can't fully comprehend our language.
21 who was the last person you talked to?
God
22. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Hung
23. What is your favorite food?
the flesh of the unbelievers
24. How many people do you know with the same name as yours?
too many
25. What was the last thing that you spilled?
My colostomy bag.