[SJ Fic] Break It to Make It
Break It to Make It: Kyuhyun/Sungmin (3098 words)
Kyuhyun and Sungmin, at the peak of dysfunctionality.
Kyuhyun wasn’t a very nice person, he knew this much. And he presumed everyone else knew it too.
He first has the revelation that he may somewhat like Sungmin in the middle of the night. He wakes up with a cold sweat and his blankets wrapped haphazardly around his legs. It was a weird dream, not inappropriate or anything, but just weird. Like flashing lights, clinking of glasses, and heavy breathing weird.
Sungmin shifts from across the room and slurs something along the lines of ‘are you okay?’, sleep deprivation easily evident in his voice. Kyuhyun reassures him that he’s fine and the newly found object of Kyuhyun’s affections goes back to sleep.
Slumber is a lot more difficult for Kyuhyun who was mentally weighing the pros and cons of telling Sungmin about his man-crush. The cons were definitely outweighing the pros- and to be honest, most of the cons were rooted in the fact Kyuhyun wasn’t really looking for any kind of emotional investment, that was too dangerous.
The morning sun filtered through the crack in the curtains, irritating Kyuhyun’s vision. It was irrelevant anyway, since he had come to the conclusion that trying anything on Sungmin would only benefit himself temporarily and pretty much crush Sungmin altogether.
But as mentioned, Kyuhyun wasn’t a very nice person.
“I don’t like it.” says Kyuhyun, crinkling his nose in disgust. Sungmin peers over his shoulder and eyes the laptop’s monitor in curiosity.
“Like what?” he asks.
Kyuhyun points to the website’s header, which had ‘KyuMin Bar’ written in big bold letters. Sungmin raises his eyebrows attempting to decipher what Kyuhyun was implying. “You don’t like the header?” He didn’t really know why Kyuhyun was bringing it up, it was sort of awkward.
“More like what the header is implying.” Kyuhyun scoffs, he thinks he can sense Sungmin shrink away, but he doesn’t particularly care. “Just saying, there are another eleven or so members in our band. Why you, and why do you bring in the batshit fans?” Kyuhyun continues, playing oblivious to the tension that has inevitably suffocated the two of them.
He studies Sungmin’s reflection on the monitor, he was definitely hurt, but Kyuhyun suspects he’d shrug it off in a week or so.
“Okay well, I’ll let them know.” Sungmin nods before turning back towards his bed.
“Oh Sungmin!” Kyuhyun calls. Sungmin twists around immediately.
“What?”
“No offense.” he adds. It cuts Sungmin more than fifty daggers would.
It wasn’t a fling or anything, a fling simply wasn’t classy enough to describe whatever was going on. To be honest, Kyuhyun didn’t really know what was going on. All he knew was that they went from hardly talking when Kyuhyun was in China, to making up for lost time while in Seoul, to finding each other on Sungmin’s bed on the eve of the New Year.
By the middle of 2009, Sungmin and ‘Sorry Sorry’ were the best things to ever happen to him. More the latter than the former, but Sungmin didn’t need to know that.
They win their third mutizen and Heechul wraps him in a bear crushing man hug, Sungmin is on the other side of the stage squishing Ryeowook affectionately. It’s all friendly and fun, they were at the peak of their careers after all.
He makes his way over to hug Sungmin until panic starts settling into his mind. What if someone sees them, what if someone picks up on it, what if he’s too obvious, what if they’re too obvious? Too many what ifs for him to risk. So when Sungmin looks at him with the most innocent smile painted across his face, Kyuhyun snubs him and goes to wrap his arms around Donghae instead.
Kyuhyun loves this, he loves the awkwardness that envelopes them whenever they’re in the same room. The tension that drowns them when they’re less than three feet away from each other. He loves how Sungmin tries so hard to avoid eye contact, and he loves how his smile diminishes whenever Kyuhyun blatantly ignores his presence.
Ryeowook deems it the worst breakup hes ever witnessed. Kyuhyun refutes him by claiming there was nothing to break up.
Sungmin spends most of nowadays brooding, out of funk, and biting his lips whenever he does wrong. Kyuhyun would be stupid to believe their ‘breakup’ or whatever Ryeowook calls it, is the first thing on Sungmin’s mind. But he believes it anyway.
Either way, he loves breaking Sungmin’s heart. He loves it more than gentle hugs in moments of comfort, he loves it more than slender fingers caressing his hair, he loves it more than friendly banter and careless whispers. Life is perfect for Kyuhyun, he’s dancing up front, he’s gaining popularity, girls love him, guys love him, and Sungmin is miserable. Brilliant.
But it’s during Sungmin’s fleeting moments of high self-esteem when Kyuhyun realises that he enjoys making Sungmin’s smile more than he does breaking it.
The thought hurts him more than he had hoped it would.
Kyuhyun makes his way around the air stewardess, lugging his luggage behind him. He checks the seat number with his ticket and does a mental air punch when he realises his luck. Sungmin looks up at him from under his cap, his expression unreadable. Nonetheless he grabs Kyuhyun’s laptop from his grip and stows it under the seat, making it easier for Kyuhyun to maneuver his remaining luggage into the above compartment.
Kyuhyun sits down next to Sungmin, bringing out his iPhone and fiddling with the new features. He waits for the older male to make the first move, but he decides he’s waited long enough when ten minutes pass and Sungmin is still staring intently out the window.
“You know, we haven’t talked in a while.” says Kyuhyun.
Sungmin shifts uncomfortably and nods in acknowledgement. Kyuhyun forces his cap down over his eyes, causing the older male to flail and slap Kyuhyun’s shoulders in a girlish fashion.
“What do you want me to say?” Sungmin asks, his voice slightly hysterical. Kyuhyun stares at him for a moment or two before breaking out into raucous laughter. Sungmin pouts and folds his arm, he doesn’t find the situation particularly funny, but he’d rather stay silent than provoke conflict.
Again.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun apologises. He pats Sungmin affectionately on the head before pulling him closer towards himself. He lifts his iPhone into the air and grins.
“W-wait!” Sungmin pushes himself away from Kyuhyun, giving him a condescending up-down before speaking slowly and precisely. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“Um, selca.” Kyuhyun states matter-of-factly. He bends sideways and leans into Sungmin again, lifting his iPhone up into the air one more time. “Don’t kill it this time, kay?”
Sungmin feels a bit offended but he complies nonetheless. “Wait- can I upload it to my cyworld afterwards?” he asks. Kyuhyun hesitates for a second, maybe even two seconds, before shrugging his shoulders in a manner of indifference.
“Just look at the lens and be shocked.” Kyuhyun says, making an ‘O’ at the camera.
Sungmin tries to play along, but he ends up smiling instead.
“We’re not even that close anymore.” slurs Kyuhyun, swirling the translucent beverage around his wine glass.
“We’re okay.” replies Sungmin, his voice is steady, but his face is almost completely red. His lower lip also trembles, probably trying to suppress the drunk aegyo that’s threatening to spill out. “I mean, we’ve managed to retain this platonancy-”
Kyuhyun snorts, wine spurting from his mouth and onto the glossy counter. “We’re hardly platonic. We’re not anything.”
Sungmin frowns, the sober side of him resurfacing. “We are platonic, it’s just, awkward platonic.”
Kyuhyun isn’t sure whether it was the stench of the cigarettes, the Taiwanese heat, or simply the liquor. But for some reason he thinks his next few actions are a good idea.
“If we were platonic, it’d feel weird if I did this.” Kyuhyun wipes his mouth with his sleeve and Sungmin does a face, the last face Kyuhyun sees before gently pulling their lips closer.
“I don’t like this” Kyuhyun states, facing away from Sungmin and staring at the wall blankly.
Sungmin pulls the blankets towards himself, burying himself deeper into the warmth. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice laced with sleep.
“I don’t want this anymore” Kyuhyun lifts himself up from the mattress and jumps lightly onto the carpet below. Sungmin realises this situation was probably more serious than Kyuhyun was making it out to be and props himself up on his elbows.
“You don’t want what?” Sungmin asks, willing his voice not to betray any emotion. Kyuhyun doesn’t answer him and simply slips his shirt off, revealing his pale torso, decorated in white scars and bruised skin. Scars that Sungmin had so delicately traced with the tips of his fingers. Scars that were his own as much as they were Kyuhyun’s.
“You don’t want what?” repeated Sungmin, his voice a little louder, his tone a little harsher.
Kyuhyun points directly at him before saying as off-handedly as possible. “You.” He kicks open his suitcase and begins packing clothing items for tomorrow morning.
“And this was a spur of the moment decision was it?” says Sungmin. He didn’t sound particularly upset, but he was good at not ever sounding particularly upset. “Or do you just not want me on your conscience when you’re screwing a random bar maid in China?”
Kyuhyun laughs, his wit had rubbed off on Sungmin in the last few months. “A little bit of both.” he says.
Sungmin isn’t even mad.
Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.
Kyuhyun breathes heavily into Sungmin’s ear, wrapping the former in a cocoon with his arms. “Do you like me better when I’m drunk?” he asks, hiccuping effectively after the question.
Sungmin giggles and pulls the warm blanket lower until it reaches Kyuhyun’s belly button. He traces those scars again, his finger alighting at the touch. “I like you better when you’re you.”
Kyuhyun scoffs before pulling the blanket over both of their heads, the Taiwanese heat causing them to sweat more profusely than before. “Really?” Kyuhyun asks, not believing Sungmin for a second.
Sungmin thinks over the question again before deciding. “Unless I’m drunk myself.” he pulls Kyuhyun’s head down and plants an uncomfortably sincere kiss on his forehead. “Because then I won’t remember it in the morning.” he finishes.
Good idea. Good idea. Good idea.
“I’m tired” Sungmin says the next day at the airport. Kyuhyun glances at him, and realises he’s being more figurative than anything else.
“Well, I’m in a constant state of sleep-deprivation.” responds Kyuhyun.
Sungmin is about to open his mouth to respond, but the camera begins rolling and Kyuhyun puts the familiar distance in between them again.
Sungmin presses the icepack gently against the raw skin, Kyuhyun flinches back but ends up hitting his head on the corner of the bed. Taking this as karma, he decides to stay put.
“You’re hurting me.” seethes Kyuhyun, prying the icepack away from his eyelids. He slides his fingers along them gently, wiping the glossy layer of water away.
“You brought it on yourself. Didn’t know she had a boyfriend my ass.” Sungmin mumbles in disapproval before pressing the icepack back onto the red skin, except harder this time around. Kyuhyun notices but doesn’t really say anything, hes already been punched in the face once, he didn’t need a complimentary kick in the stomach.
They remain stagnant for almost two minutes until water begins seeping from the pack, down Kyuhyun’s cheeks, and dripping morosely onto the carpet below. That’s when Kyuhyun grasps Sungmin’s wrist and shifts the icepack to the other eye, regardless of the fact it wasn’t swollen.
He resists the urge to press it against his heart.
“So, how’s your mandarin going?” asks Kyuhyun, feeling obliged to make conversation.
Sungmin tenses up visibly at the question, he presumed they had an unspoken agreement not to mention it. It’s just one of those things they just know, number five on the Roommates’ list of things you can not ask, right next to: ‘Aren’t you going to get off the laptop soon?’, ‘Are you sure you weren’t the one who lost our Shinwa CDs?, ‘Who gave the wine to Heechul?’ and ‘Who was wearing Donghae’s underwear and why is it in our wardrobe?’.
Sungmin answers nonetheless and pretends the question doesn’t make him uncomfortable. “It’s great, I may be as fluent as you in a matter of days. We could have a mandarin speed conversation” he tries to joke, except it isn’t very funny.
Kyuhyun lifts himself off the floor and quietly murmurs. “You’d probably get edited out.” before stumbling towards his own bed and promptly falling asleep.
Sungmin gives up and throws himself back onto the soft mattress. He propels the ice pack absent mindedly into the air, watching it collide with the ceiling before plopping back onto his bare stomach. The cold makes him wince, but he steals a furtive glance in Kyuhyun’s direction and decides there are colder things in life.
“I feel all kinds of second hand embarrassment when you try to be funny on camera. Just saying.” says Kyuhyun, sipping his coffee nonchalantly.
Twenty eight year old Sungmin sits opposite him, how he still manages to look eighteen Kyuhyun will never know.
Sungmin ignores his jabs and stirs the remaining contents of his latte with a spoon. “We’re so bad for each other.” he says.
“What do you mean?” asks Kyuhyun, even though he knows the answer off by heart. He’s known the answer since 2009.
Sungmin leans forward on his elbows and places his spoon on the centre of the table, as if attempting to make a point. “Exactly two months from now we’re going to go through a phase of awkwardness.”
“I actually think it’s like we’re permanently stuck in a phase of awkwardness, but okay continue.” Kyuhyun interrupts. Sungmin glares at him and Kyuhyun resists pinching his cheeks.
“Then in another month or so you’ll get drunk, then I’ll get drunk”
“-and we’re going to have bad ideas.”
“Right. After that we’ll probably wallow in heartbreak for a month or so. Well, I’ll be wallowing in heartbreak, you’ll continue being bitchy and whatnot.”
“Somehow we’re going to end up in something resembling a relationship again, I just know it-”
“- of course, of course. It’ll last until I’m scheduled to leave for the army, which is when you’re brattiness will make you dump me right before my enlistment.”
“I don’t do it because I’m a brat, it’s a reflex action. And I wouldn’t dump you. Most likely we’ll spend the entire night before the enlistment whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. Then you leave for the military, and then I slowly stop contacting you.”
“And by the time I come back, you’ll be in the military. I’ll probably visit you with the rest of the gang every now and then, and it’ll probably be awkward-”
“I think we’d just get drunk again, but continue-”
“When you’re released we reignite our old flame, until you finally realise this isn’t what you want-”
“Again”
“Yes. And break up with me again. After this I’ll inevitably walk the streets at night alone”
“And I will pretend nothing every happened-”
“Yes. Eventually however, I get a hold of myself and go back to my hometown in order to make sense of my life. There I meet a pretty girl who was also my childhood friend, we fall in love, get engaged, get married and-”
“and the day before your consummation I appear and we have an old fling again. You remain confused with your feelings and leave your wife out of guilt.” Kyuhyun finishes.
Sungmin stares at him disbelievingly, the spoon in his left hand pointed directly at Kyuhyun’s face.
“What?” Kyuhyun asks, making a face of confusion.
“I have three kids, two boys and one girl. We move into a small apartment in Seoul where I become a guitar teacher and my wife lives life the way she wants to. We’re happy, and we die in eachother’s arms. The end.” Sungmin corrects.
For a minute there is silence and Kyuhyun doesn’t know what to say. He regains his true self however when Sungmin finally blinks, causing Kyuhyun laugh and throw a tissue at his face.
“You wish” Kyuhyun snorts, taking pleasure in the pain seeping into Sungmin’s features.
“I do wish actually, I really do.” Sungmin sighs and leans back, massaging his temples with his index finger and thumb.
Kyuhyun leans across the table and wipes excess latte from the corner of Sungmin’s mouth. “We’re going to end up together whether you like it or not.” Sungmin blinks back tears and glares at Kyuhyun incredulously.
Kyuhyun smiles one of his rare genuine smiles. “It’s just going to take longer than most people I guess.”
Sungmin sits himself on the couch beside the new kid. He looks absolutely terrified and uninspired, and in one glance Sungmin could tell this isn’t what he wanted, at all. They had something in common.
“Why don’t you talk to anyone, Kyu-” he searches his mind for the last syllable but is at a lost.
“Hyun.” Kyuhyun finishes. “And it’s not like- I don’t- I” Kyuhyun stutters, and Sungmin gazes at him in amusement. He was like a kicked puppy. Well, a kicked puppy with all his dreams shattered.
“I find you guys kind of intimidating.” Kyuhyun finally admits, slumping down onto the couch. “Especially you.” he adds, but quickly regretting it. He guesses that isn’t the sort of thing you’re supposed to say when someone’s trying to be kind to you.
Sungmin laughs instead and pats Kyuhyun fondly on the back. “Isn’t anyone nice to you?” he asks. Even though the answer was predictable.
“Well” Kyuhyun thinks for a bit, drawing his knees up towards his chest. “Donghae-hyung is kind of wonderful, Ryeowook is cool. And um...” he bites his lip, hesitating on the last one. However Sungmin nudges him, prompting him to continue. “Yesung-hyung isn’t nice to me, persay, but it’s like he’s so pathetic. I feel like he’s the new guy.”
Kyuhyun prepares himself for a lecture about respect, and knowing his place, and how ‘this is why you’ll never get a mattress’. Instead Sungmin falls of the sofa laughing, clutching his stomach in hysterics.
“You know, this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.” Sungmin manages to let out between giggles.
Kyuhyun smiles. Sungmin had pretty much won him over and it hadn’t even been five minutes.
Fin
a/n: Written at an ungodly hour at night. Because Kyuhyun/Sungmin aren't cute. Kyuhyun is too much of an asshole, and Sungmin is too much of a wallflower. Hence, they're either angsty and dysfunctional or cracky and dysfunctional.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin, at the peak of dysfunctionality.
Kyuhyun wasn’t a very nice person, he knew this much. And he presumed everyone else knew it too.
He first has the revelation that he may somewhat like Sungmin in the middle of the night. He wakes up with a cold sweat and his blankets wrapped haphazardly around his legs. It was a weird dream, not inappropriate or anything, but just weird. Like flashing lights, clinking of glasses, and heavy breathing weird.
Sungmin shifts from across the room and slurs something along the lines of ‘are you okay?’, sleep deprivation easily evident in his voice. Kyuhyun reassures him that he’s fine and the newly found object of Kyuhyun’s affections goes back to sleep.
Slumber is a lot more difficult for Kyuhyun who was mentally weighing the pros and cons of telling Sungmin about his man-crush. The cons were definitely outweighing the pros- and to be honest, most of the cons were rooted in the fact Kyuhyun wasn’t really looking for any kind of emotional investment, that was too dangerous.
The morning sun filtered through the crack in the curtains, irritating Kyuhyun’s vision. It was irrelevant anyway, since he had come to the conclusion that trying anything on Sungmin would only benefit himself temporarily and pretty much crush Sungmin altogether.
But as mentioned, Kyuhyun wasn’t a very nice person.
“I don’t like it.” says Kyuhyun, crinkling his nose in disgust. Sungmin peers over his shoulder and eyes the laptop’s monitor in curiosity.
“Like what?” he asks.
Kyuhyun points to the website’s header, which had ‘KyuMin Bar’ written in big bold letters. Sungmin raises his eyebrows attempting to decipher what Kyuhyun was implying. “You don’t like the header?” He didn’t really know why Kyuhyun was bringing it up, it was sort of awkward.
“More like what the header is implying.” Kyuhyun scoffs, he thinks he can sense Sungmin shrink away, but he doesn’t particularly care. “Just saying, there are another eleven or so members in our band. Why you, and why do you bring in the batshit fans?” Kyuhyun continues, playing oblivious to the tension that has inevitably suffocated the two of them.
He studies Sungmin’s reflection on the monitor, he was definitely hurt, but Kyuhyun suspects he’d shrug it off in a week or so.
“Okay well, I’ll let them know.” Sungmin nods before turning back towards his bed.
“Oh Sungmin!” Kyuhyun calls. Sungmin twists around immediately.
“What?”
“No offense.” he adds. It cuts Sungmin more than fifty daggers would.
It wasn’t a fling or anything, a fling simply wasn’t classy enough to describe whatever was going on. To be honest, Kyuhyun didn’t really know what was going on. All he knew was that they went from hardly talking when Kyuhyun was in China, to making up for lost time while in Seoul, to finding each other on Sungmin’s bed on the eve of the New Year.
By the middle of 2009, Sungmin and ‘Sorry Sorry’ were the best things to ever happen to him. More the latter than the former, but Sungmin didn’t need to know that.
They win their third mutizen and Heechul wraps him in a bear crushing man hug, Sungmin is on the other side of the stage squishing Ryeowook affectionately. It’s all friendly and fun, they were at the peak of their careers after all.
He makes his way over to hug Sungmin until panic starts settling into his mind. What if someone sees them, what if someone picks up on it, what if he’s too obvious, what if they’re too obvious? Too many what ifs for him to risk. So when Sungmin looks at him with the most innocent smile painted across his face, Kyuhyun snubs him and goes to wrap his arms around Donghae instead.
Kyuhyun loves this, he loves the awkwardness that envelopes them whenever they’re in the same room. The tension that drowns them when they’re less than three feet away from each other. He loves how Sungmin tries so hard to avoid eye contact, and he loves how his smile diminishes whenever Kyuhyun blatantly ignores his presence.
Ryeowook deems it the worst breakup hes ever witnessed. Kyuhyun refutes him by claiming there was nothing to break up.
Sungmin spends most of nowadays brooding, out of funk, and biting his lips whenever he does wrong. Kyuhyun would be stupid to believe their ‘breakup’ or whatever Ryeowook calls it, is the first thing on Sungmin’s mind. But he believes it anyway.
Either way, he loves breaking Sungmin’s heart. He loves it more than gentle hugs in moments of comfort, he loves it more than slender fingers caressing his hair, he loves it more than friendly banter and careless whispers. Life is perfect for Kyuhyun, he’s dancing up front, he’s gaining popularity, girls love him, guys love him, and Sungmin is miserable. Brilliant.
But it’s during Sungmin’s fleeting moments of high self-esteem when Kyuhyun realises that he enjoys making Sungmin’s smile more than he does breaking it.
The thought hurts him more than he had hoped it would.
Kyuhyun makes his way around the air stewardess, lugging his luggage behind him. He checks the seat number with his ticket and does a mental air punch when he realises his luck. Sungmin looks up at him from under his cap, his expression unreadable. Nonetheless he grabs Kyuhyun’s laptop from his grip and stows it under the seat, making it easier for Kyuhyun to maneuver his remaining luggage into the above compartment.
Kyuhyun sits down next to Sungmin, bringing out his iPhone and fiddling with the new features. He waits for the older male to make the first move, but he decides he’s waited long enough when ten minutes pass and Sungmin is still staring intently out the window.
“You know, we haven’t talked in a while.” says Kyuhyun.
Sungmin shifts uncomfortably and nods in acknowledgement. Kyuhyun forces his cap down over his eyes, causing the older male to flail and slap Kyuhyun’s shoulders in a girlish fashion.
“What do you want me to say?” Sungmin asks, his voice slightly hysterical. Kyuhyun stares at him for a moment or two before breaking out into raucous laughter. Sungmin pouts and folds his arm, he doesn’t find the situation particularly funny, but he’d rather stay silent than provoke conflict.
Again.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun apologises. He pats Sungmin affectionately on the head before pulling him closer towards himself. He lifts his iPhone into the air and grins.
“W-wait!” Sungmin pushes himself away from Kyuhyun, giving him a condescending up-down before speaking slowly and precisely. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“Um, selca.” Kyuhyun states matter-of-factly. He bends sideways and leans into Sungmin again, lifting his iPhone up into the air one more time. “Don’t kill it this time, kay?”
Sungmin feels a bit offended but he complies nonetheless. “Wait- can I upload it to my cyworld afterwards?” he asks. Kyuhyun hesitates for a second, maybe even two seconds, before shrugging his shoulders in a manner of indifference.
“Just look at the lens and be shocked.” Kyuhyun says, making an ‘O’ at the camera.
Sungmin tries to play along, but he ends up smiling instead.
“We’re not even that close anymore.” slurs Kyuhyun, swirling the translucent beverage around his wine glass.
“We’re okay.” replies Sungmin, his voice is steady, but his face is almost completely red. His lower lip also trembles, probably trying to suppress the drunk aegyo that’s threatening to spill out. “I mean, we’ve managed to retain this platonancy-”
Kyuhyun snorts, wine spurting from his mouth and onto the glossy counter. “We’re hardly platonic. We’re not anything.”
Sungmin frowns, the sober side of him resurfacing. “We are platonic, it’s just, awkward platonic.”
Kyuhyun isn’t sure whether it was the stench of the cigarettes, the Taiwanese heat, or simply the liquor. But for some reason he thinks his next few actions are a good idea.
“If we were platonic, it’d feel weird if I did this.” Kyuhyun wipes his mouth with his sleeve and Sungmin does a face, the last face Kyuhyun sees before gently pulling their lips closer.
“I don’t like this” Kyuhyun states, facing away from Sungmin and staring at the wall blankly.
Sungmin pulls the blankets towards himself, burying himself deeper into the warmth. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice laced with sleep.
“I don’t want this anymore” Kyuhyun lifts himself up from the mattress and jumps lightly onto the carpet below. Sungmin realises this situation was probably more serious than Kyuhyun was making it out to be and props himself up on his elbows.
“You don’t want what?” Sungmin asks, willing his voice not to betray any emotion. Kyuhyun doesn’t answer him and simply slips his shirt off, revealing his pale torso, decorated in white scars and bruised skin. Scars that Sungmin had so delicately traced with the tips of his fingers. Scars that were his own as much as they were Kyuhyun’s.
“You don’t want what?” repeated Sungmin, his voice a little louder, his tone a little harsher.
Kyuhyun points directly at him before saying as off-handedly as possible. “You.” He kicks open his suitcase and begins packing clothing items for tomorrow morning.
“And this was a spur of the moment decision was it?” says Sungmin. He didn’t sound particularly upset, but he was good at not ever sounding particularly upset. “Or do you just not want me on your conscience when you’re screwing a random bar maid in China?”
Kyuhyun laughs, his wit had rubbed off on Sungmin in the last few months. “A little bit of both.” he says.
Sungmin isn’t even mad.
Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.
Kyuhyun breathes heavily into Sungmin’s ear, wrapping the former in a cocoon with his arms. “Do you like me better when I’m drunk?” he asks, hiccuping effectively after the question.
Sungmin giggles and pulls the warm blanket lower until it reaches Kyuhyun’s belly button. He traces those scars again, his finger alighting at the touch. “I like you better when you’re you.”
Kyuhyun scoffs before pulling the blanket over both of their heads, the Taiwanese heat causing them to sweat more profusely than before. “Really?” Kyuhyun asks, not believing Sungmin for a second.
Sungmin thinks over the question again before deciding. “Unless I’m drunk myself.” he pulls Kyuhyun’s head down and plants an uncomfortably sincere kiss on his forehead. “Because then I won’t remember it in the morning.” he finishes.
Good idea. Good idea. Good idea.
“I’m tired” Sungmin says the next day at the airport. Kyuhyun glances at him, and realises he’s being more figurative than anything else.
“Well, I’m in a constant state of sleep-deprivation.” responds Kyuhyun.
Sungmin is about to open his mouth to respond, but the camera begins rolling and Kyuhyun puts the familiar distance in between them again.
Sungmin presses the icepack gently against the raw skin, Kyuhyun flinches back but ends up hitting his head on the corner of the bed. Taking this as karma, he decides to stay put.
“You’re hurting me.” seethes Kyuhyun, prying the icepack away from his eyelids. He slides his fingers along them gently, wiping the glossy layer of water away.
“You brought it on yourself. Didn’t know she had a boyfriend my ass.” Sungmin mumbles in disapproval before pressing the icepack back onto the red skin, except harder this time around. Kyuhyun notices but doesn’t really say anything, hes already been punched in the face once, he didn’t need a complimentary kick in the stomach.
They remain stagnant for almost two minutes until water begins seeping from the pack, down Kyuhyun’s cheeks, and dripping morosely onto the carpet below. That’s when Kyuhyun grasps Sungmin’s wrist and shifts the icepack to the other eye, regardless of the fact it wasn’t swollen.
He resists the urge to press it against his heart.
“So, how’s your mandarin going?” asks Kyuhyun, feeling obliged to make conversation.
Sungmin tenses up visibly at the question, he presumed they had an unspoken agreement not to mention it. It’s just one of those things they just know, number five on the Roommates’ list of things you can not ask, right next to: ‘Aren’t you going to get off the laptop soon?’, ‘Are you sure you weren’t the one who lost our Shinwa CDs?, ‘Who gave the wine to Heechul?’ and ‘Who was wearing Donghae’s underwear and why is it in our wardrobe?’.
Sungmin answers nonetheless and pretends the question doesn’t make him uncomfortable. “It’s great, I may be as fluent as you in a matter of days. We could have a mandarin speed conversation” he tries to joke, except it isn’t very funny.
Kyuhyun lifts himself off the floor and quietly murmurs. “You’d probably get edited out.” before stumbling towards his own bed and promptly falling asleep.
Sungmin gives up and throws himself back onto the soft mattress. He propels the ice pack absent mindedly into the air, watching it collide with the ceiling before plopping back onto his bare stomach. The cold makes him wince, but he steals a furtive glance in Kyuhyun’s direction and decides there are colder things in life.
“I feel all kinds of second hand embarrassment when you try to be funny on camera. Just saying.” says Kyuhyun, sipping his coffee nonchalantly.
Twenty eight year old Sungmin sits opposite him, how he still manages to look eighteen Kyuhyun will never know.
Sungmin ignores his jabs and stirs the remaining contents of his latte with a spoon. “We’re so bad for each other.” he says.
“What do you mean?” asks Kyuhyun, even though he knows the answer off by heart. He’s known the answer since 2009.
Sungmin leans forward on his elbows and places his spoon on the centre of the table, as if attempting to make a point. “Exactly two months from now we’re going to go through a phase of awkwardness.”
“I actually think it’s like we’re permanently stuck in a phase of awkwardness, but okay continue.” Kyuhyun interrupts. Sungmin glares at him and Kyuhyun resists pinching his cheeks.
“Then in another month or so you’ll get drunk, then I’ll get drunk”
“-and we’re going to have bad ideas.”
“Right. After that we’ll probably wallow in heartbreak for a month or so. Well, I’ll be wallowing in heartbreak, you’ll continue being bitchy and whatnot.”
“Somehow we’re going to end up in something resembling a relationship again, I just know it-”
“- of course, of course. It’ll last until I’m scheduled to leave for the army, which is when you’re brattiness will make you dump me right before my enlistment.”
“I don’t do it because I’m a brat, it’s a reflex action. And I wouldn’t dump you. Most likely we’ll spend the entire night before the enlistment whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. Then you leave for the military, and then I slowly stop contacting you.”
“And by the time I come back, you’ll be in the military. I’ll probably visit you with the rest of the gang every now and then, and it’ll probably be awkward-”
“I think we’d just get drunk again, but continue-”
“When you’re released we reignite our old flame, until you finally realise this isn’t what you want-”
“Again”
“Yes. And break up with me again. After this I’ll inevitably walk the streets at night alone”
“And I will pretend nothing every happened-”
“Yes. Eventually however, I get a hold of myself and go back to my hometown in order to make sense of my life. There I meet a pretty girl who was also my childhood friend, we fall in love, get engaged, get married and-”
“and the day before your consummation I appear and we have an old fling again. You remain confused with your feelings and leave your wife out of guilt.” Kyuhyun finishes.
Sungmin stares at him disbelievingly, the spoon in his left hand pointed directly at Kyuhyun’s face.
“What?” Kyuhyun asks, making a face of confusion.
“I have three kids, two boys and one girl. We move into a small apartment in Seoul where I become a guitar teacher and my wife lives life the way she wants to. We’re happy, and we die in eachother’s arms. The end.” Sungmin corrects.
For a minute there is silence and Kyuhyun doesn’t know what to say. He regains his true self however when Sungmin finally blinks, causing Kyuhyun laugh and throw a tissue at his face.
“You wish” Kyuhyun snorts, taking pleasure in the pain seeping into Sungmin’s features.
“I do wish actually, I really do.” Sungmin sighs and leans back, massaging his temples with his index finger and thumb.
Kyuhyun leans across the table and wipes excess latte from the corner of Sungmin’s mouth. “We’re going to end up together whether you like it or not.” Sungmin blinks back tears and glares at Kyuhyun incredulously.
Kyuhyun smiles one of his rare genuine smiles. “It’s just going to take longer than most people I guess.”
Sungmin sits himself on the couch beside the new kid. He looks absolutely terrified and uninspired, and in one glance Sungmin could tell this isn’t what he wanted, at all. They had something in common.
“Why don’t you talk to anyone, Kyu-” he searches his mind for the last syllable but is at a lost.
“Hyun.” Kyuhyun finishes. “And it’s not like- I don’t- I” Kyuhyun stutters, and Sungmin gazes at him in amusement. He was like a kicked puppy. Well, a kicked puppy with all his dreams shattered.
“I find you guys kind of intimidating.” Kyuhyun finally admits, slumping down onto the couch. “Especially you.” he adds, but quickly regretting it. He guesses that isn’t the sort of thing you’re supposed to say when someone’s trying to be kind to you.
Sungmin laughs instead and pats Kyuhyun fondly on the back. “Isn’t anyone nice to you?” he asks. Even though the answer was predictable.
“Well” Kyuhyun thinks for a bit, drawing his knees up towards his chest. “Donghae-hyung is kind of wonderful, Ryeowook is cool. And um...” he bites his lip, hesitating on the last one. However Sungmin nudges him, prompting him to continue. “Yesung-hyung isn’t nice to me, persay, but it’s like he’s so pathetic. I feel like he’s the new guy.”
Kyuhyun prepares himself for a lecture about respect, and knowing his place, and how ‘this is why you’ll never get a mattress’. Instead Sungmin falls of the sofa laughing, clutching his stomach in hysterics.
“You know, this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.” Sungmin manages to let out between giggles.
Kyuhyun smiles. Sungmin had pretty much won him over and it hadn’t even been five minutes.
Fin
a/n: Written at an ungodly hour at night. Because Kyuhyun/Sungmin aren't cute. Kyuhyun is too much of an asshole, and Sungmin is too much of a wallflower. Hence, they're either angsty and dysfunctional or cracky and dysfunctional.