Jump in and go, and we can drive for years
So tell me is it hard to see the possibility, that I am not the person that I seem. I'll show you everything inside. Will you open up your mind? Cause I'm more like you than you may ever know. We're playing a game, we gotta let it go, nobody's winning this way. We're gonna lose it all. So baby was a shooting star. She crawled into my heart, but time revealed that she was fading out. Now choke everything you feel, and as it all conceals and never heals. You always feel alone, we always feel alone. No one wins. *~*~*~* One day we'll run away...from all the things that bring us down to the dirt. Closed eyes will never see, but some of us are just misunderstood. You kiss the pain goodbye for me, and I'll kiss the mountains good morning. *~*~*~* Jesus my heart is all I have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy, this simply will not do, no alabaster jar, no diamond in the rough, for your body that was broken, how can this be enough? By me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed, yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed. Your glory illuminates my life, and no darkness will descend, for you have loved me forever, and your love will never end. *~*~*~* I won't give up again, as tired as I am, with everything I can...I won't give up again
it's been a rough couple days. i had this "mountain high" for a long time and now i'm at a "valley" point. it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. i have a nervousness/anxiety/excitement rising deep in me...but more than that i feel lethargic and hard of breathing, like there's this weight on my chest that needs to be lifted. and so much is going on with everyone. it seems like a lot of people are facing hard times right now. i should go get some chai tea, that always seems to calm me. my allergies were bad today though, i left school early because my eyes were so red and irritated that i was having trouble seeing...and i didn't want it to get worse, as light was the major irritant. i came home and slept and it's kinda better now. i just feel like i don't want to do anything.
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that was yesterday, early on...and now it's friday...kinda early on. yesterday was kinda weird. i went from low to high, from high to low, then to high....and then did some stupid things...and went back to low...and today i've hit so completely rock
bottom that i just want to cry for days, but i don't cry easy. i really haven't felt this way for so long, it just hurts. i feel like i want to just pack up and get away, just leave. this gigantic weight is just resting on my chest and i can see it and i don't know how to move it, but i feel it penetrating so deeply into my heart and lungs with every breath. so many new things have arisen, and i've made some good decisions, some quick and therefore very poor decisions, and there's also things i'm
undecided on--i won't go into it more than that for now.
it's times like these that show you how amazing life is, and I really thank God for giving me the capacity to experience happiness. I know that without hard times, I wouldn't know the difference. In fact I probably wouldn't appreciate good times if those were all I had. I thank God for times like these that bring me down to the ground, face to face with myself, and show me my life...the things I need to fix, the things I am doing right, and all the stupid mistakes I make that I should know better than to make. It's important to remember that everyone goes through hard times, and what I'm going through is no more than such as is common to all.
Please understand that I try hard not to upset You. There is nothing for which my heart beats as it does for You. There is no one I can see more clearly, nor is there one to whom I am closer. You are completely beautiful, and completely wonderful in all aspects. No one can ever measure up to You...and neither can I. In my faith and hope I will watch and wait, for when I call to You, I know you will show me great and mighty things which I do not know. But, for now I will look to you in this pain, for you know pain much deeper than I could ever comprehend. Praise You.
it's so strange how my emotions jump back and forth like a freaking roller coaster...but that's what it feels like lately. even though i've got hope, it's still hard. patti and i are kinda feeling the same way...and so we were leaning on each other today. thank God for friends, it's always nice to have someone to run to; a shoulder to cry on.
"In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you and in your head where it dwells. I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it. Let's walk away from this hell."
the end.
p.s. i love the juliana theory
it's been a rough couple days. i had this "mountain high" for a long time and now i'm at a "valley" point. it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. i have a nervousness/anxiety/excitement rising deep in me...but more than that i feel lethargic and hard of breathing, like there's this weight on my chest that needs to be lifted. and so much is going on with everyone. it seems like a lot of people are facing hard times right now. i should go get some chai tea, that always seems to calm me. my allergies were bad today though, i left school early because my eyes were so red and irritated that i was having trouble seeing...and i didn't want it to get worse, as light was the major irritant. i came home and slept and it's kinda better now. i just feel like i don't want to do anything.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
that was yesterday, early on...and now it's friday...kinda early on. yesterday was kinda weird. i went from low to high, from high to low, then to high....and then did some stupid things...and went back to low...and today i've hit so completely rock
bottom that i just want to cry for days, but i don't cry easy. i really haven't felt this way for so long, it just hurts. i feel like i want to just pack up and get away, just leave. this gigantic weight is just resting on my chest and i can see it and i don't know how to move it, but i feel it penetrating so deeply into my heart and lungs with every breath. so many new things have arisen, and i've made some good decisions, some quick and therefore very poor decisions, and there's also things i'm
undecided on--i won't go into it more than that for now.
it's times like these that show you how amazing life is, and I really thank God for giving me the capacity to experience happiness. I know that without hard times, I wouldn't know the difference. In fact I probably wouldn't appreciate good times if those were all I had. I thank God for times like these that bring me down to the ground, face to face with myself, and show me my life...the things I need to fix, the things I am doing right, and all the stupid mistakes I make that I should know better than to make. It's important to remember that everyone goes through hard times, and what I'm going through is no more than such as is common to all.
Please understand that I try hard not to upset You. There is nothing for which my heart beats as it does for You. There is no one I can see more clearly, nor is there one to whom I am closer. You are completely beautiful, and completely wonderful in all aspects. No one can ever measure up to You...and neither can I. In my faith and hope I will watch and wait, for when I call to You, I know you will show me great and mighty things which I do not know. But, for now I will look to you in this pain, for you know pain much deeper than I could ever comprehend. Praise You.
it's so strange how my emotions jump back and forth like a freaking roller coaster...but that's what it feels like lately. even though i've got hope, it's still hard. patti and i are kinda feeling the same way...and so we were leaning on each other today. thank God for friends, it's always nice to have someone to run to; a shoulder to cry on.
"In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you and in your head where it dwells. I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it. Let's walk away from this hell."
the end.
p.s. i love the juliana theory