Connections.
After noting a few things on my way to work this morning, as well as recalling some recent conversations with both friends and family, I've been inspired to lend some Bryan perspective to the following: I think life is all about making connections.
I'm not talking about connections in a work-related sense or in a Vito Corleone kind of way either. I more mean the connection between two people; the spark, the understanding, the ability to relate to another person. And that's both platonically and romantically. Now I think they're pretty important because quite frankly, not a lot of people connect with me. Not very many people that I come across have common interests or similar tastes in a lot of things, and I'm actually fine with that. I'd rather be me and be unique than just another guy. I'm stubborn and eccentric and quirky all at once; I'm into a lot of different things, and I'm cool with that. It keeps me well-rounded (not talking about physically, but one could take a look at me and see that I like to eat) and on top of things. When I do meet someone that I make a connection with, someone that not only accepts but likes all of those things that comprise my personality, that's all that matters to me. It doesn't matter if that person is male of female, tall or short (though short men get no love in general from me), Eskimo or Greek. The ability to conversate, laugh, and just bug out overall easily transcends all the other little details. And that's on a platonic level.
On a romantic level, the only real difference is that I'm not into guys. There are more complexities in that "connection" between men and women, more magic, and when I find that it truly doesn't matter what the woman is on the outside in my eyes. I don't care if they're slender or plump, dark brown or porcelain-skinned, freckled or clear-complected. When I sit down and think about it that doesn't necessarily come from my own mixed ethnicity either. It's more or less the fact that I know how rare it is for people to come across those certain souls that coincide with and compliment their own; it is for me at least. And from there it's basically a numbers game. If you're "one in a million" like the old saying implies, and there are six billion people on the earth, there are 6,000 folks that could vibe with you across the globe. Let's cut that down and say you live in the United States. That's cut down to roughly 250, both men and women. If you're straight, like myself, that's about 130; there's a slightly higher number of women than men. In order to stop myself from being a pedophile or geriatric groupie, I have to shave at least 50 off of that number to keep from including little girls or incredibly old ladies. That leaves 80 women across the country that I'd make a great pair with. Sounds a bit daunting now, doesn't it? Imagine if I had it in my head that I HAD to have relationships with only Black or Hispanic women. That number would be, in the very least, halved. And on top of that, if I had another preferred type on top of that, it would be even smaller. I personally don't like the odds of trying to find one of the 10 or 15 women across the country that I could see myself with were I more narrow-minded. Gawd... that's kind of scary. Add to that the fact that I'll probably remain on the east coast, taking away the population swells of CA and TX. Which, following my formula, would leave me with like 4 or 5 potential "soulmates" between Washington D.C. and Boston. That kind of sucks.
Thankfully enough I'm not so narrow-minded. Not when it comes to those people whose like minds and similar senses of humor I enjoy so much. I think that women from every walk of life and every ethnic group are gorgeous; I couldn't limit anyone based on simply that. I also know that the majority of people in the world, particularly in this country, aren't like that at all. And that's really their own problem. Usually when I hear people say things along the lines of "Oh, I could never date such and such because they're this and that" the person in question is generally unhappy. They usually haven't had very much luck in the dating/relationship department either. But can I really expect anything else from a close-minded individual? One thing I've learned in my 23 years is that life finds ways to humble you. I used to only chase after girls that had a certain look, totally ignoring personality and the connection I've been talking about. And from the outside, it would appear as if I was "da man" but I was fucking miserable. Those girls I had that connection with were frustrated friends of mine, friends that I lost in the long run, and I know now that I was an idiot for not seeing the things that were so painfully obvious. Rather, seeing them, but not recognizing them; not taking the chance that was there in order to further pursue a model-like airhead.
There's definitely an upside to having an extra handful of pounds on my body; I'm actually happier with who I am now. And I've TOTALLY been opened to how sexy my full-figured, voluptuous women are. Wow. Like I said earlier, I still have love for slender women, and one in particular, but that's because of the connection. The spark, the chemistry. That's what it's all about in my mind. I know what it's like to forego the inside of a person, the part that matters, for the kind of packaging I liked at the time, and it sucks. I truly feel for those people in the world that are still caught up in appearances so much that they totally miss out on true beauty.
I'm not talking about connections in a work-related sense or in a Vito Corleone kind of way either. I more mean the connection between two people; the spark, the understanding, the ability to relate to another person. And that's both platonically and romantically. Now I think they're pretty important because quite frankly, not a lot of people connect with me. Not very many people that I come across have common interests or similar tastes in a lot of things, and I'm actually fine with that. I'd rather be me and be unique than just another guy. I'm stubborn and eccentric and quirky all at once; I'm into a lot of different things, and I'm cool with that. It keeps me well-rounded (not talking about physically, but one could take a look at me and see that I like to eat) and on top of things. When I do meet someone that I make a connection with, someone that not only accepts but likes all of those things that comprise my personality, that's all that matters to me. It doesn't matter if that person is male of female, tall or short (though short men get no love in general from me), Eskimo or Greek. The ability to conversate, laugh, and just bug out overall easily transcends all the other little details. And that's on a platonic level.
On a romantic level, the only real difference is that I'm not into guys. There are more complexities in that "connection" between men and women, more magic, and when I find that it truly doesn't matter what the woman is on the outside in my eyes. I don't care if they're slender or plump, dark brown or porcelain-skinned, freckled or clear-complected. When I sit down and think about it that doesn't necessarily come from my own mixed ethnicity either. It's more or less the fact that I know how rare it is for people to come across those certain souls that coincide with and compliment their own; it is for me at least. And from there it's basically a numbers game. If you're "one in a million" like the old saying implies, and there are six billion people on the earth, there are 6,000 folks that could vibe with you across the globe. Let's cut that down and say you live in the United States. That's cut down to roughly 250, both men and women. If you're straight, like myself, that's about 130; there's a slightly higher number of women than men. In order to stop myself from being a pedophile or geriatric groupie, I have to shave at least 50 off of that number to keep from including little girls or incredibly old ladies. That leaves 80 women across the country that I'd make a great pair with. Sounds a bit daunting now, doesn't it? Imagine if I had it in my head that I HAD to have relationships with only Black or Hispanic women. That number would be, in the very least, halved. And on top of that, if I had another preferred type on top of that, it would be even smaller. I personally don't like the odds of trying to find one of the 10 or 15 women across the country that I could see myself with were I more narrow-minded. Gawd... that's kind of scary. Add to that the fact that I'll probably remain on the east coast, taking away the population swells of CA and TX. Which, following my formula, would leave me with like 4 or 5 potential "soulmates" between Washington D.C. and Boston. That kind of sucks.
Thankfully enough I'm not so narrow-minded. Not when it comes to those people whose like minds and similar senses of humor I enjoy so much. I think that women from every walk of life and every ethnic group are gorgeous; I couldn't limit anyone based on simply that. I also know that the majority of people in the world, particularly in this country, aren't like that at all. And that's really their own problem. Usually when I hear people say things along the lines of "Oh, I could never date such and such because they're this and that" the person in question is generally unhappy. They usually haven't had very much luck in the dating/relationship department either. But can I really expect anything else from a close-minded individual? One thing I've learned in my 23 years is that life finds ways to humble you. I used to only chase after girls that had a certain look, totally ignoring personality and the connection I've been talking about. And from the outside, it would appear as if I was "da man" but I was fucking miserable. Those girls I had that connection with were frustrated friends of mine, friends that I lost in the long run, and I know now that I was an idiot for not seeing the things that were so painfully obvious. Rather, seeing them, but not recognizing them; not taking the chance that was there in order to further pursue a model-like airhead.
There's definitely an upside to having an extra handful of pounds on my body; I'm actually happier with who I am now. And I've TOTALLY been opened to how sexy my full-figured, voluptuous women are. Wow. Like I said earlier, I still have love for slender women, and one in particular, but that's because of the connection. The spark, the chemistry. That's what it's all about in my mind. I know what it's like to forego the inside of a person, the part that matters, for the kind of packaging I liked at the time, and it sucks. I truly feel for those people in the world that are still caught up in appearances so much that they totally miss out on true beauty.