Come All Ye Faithful

[askvoldemort]

Well, it seems that our little Muggle friend, zaki doubts the voracity of my followers. I myself have begun to wonder how many of you are here in name only, but are unwilling or unable to show their loyalty to me. Tell me what it is you would do to her to let her know how you feel about her doubts about you.

Comments

[cuileann]

I believe someone mentioned Chinese Water Torture, but how about another Asian form of torment, Japanese Bamboo Torture?

You simply cut some bamboo stalks down an inch or two tall. You then sharpen the ends into points. You place the victim on top of the the bamboo, and secure their hands and feet to the ground so they cannot move. Bamboo can grow up to 6 inches a day. A most unpleasant way to go.

[askvoldemort]

Hmm, that does sound lovely. Plus it feeds the plant I would imagine.

[cuileann]

And it is approved by Greenpeace as torture both safe and benefical to the environment.

[fantomeq]

LOL! I'll order some bamboo right away. I didn't have any alive, but I do have a bamboo wand as a spare. They're quite easy to make, as they're hollow and have natural segments.

[xxjericahxx]

Might I suggest an "Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" plan?

If muggles hang witches and wizards and burn them at stake, might I suggest the old ways they used for prisoners? Hung, drawn and quartered I presume. That can be better than being in a Chinese water torture.

Or maybe we should try the Chinese water torture and then the hung, drawn and quartered part?

Either way, the screams will be music to my ears.

[zaki]

Again with the non-magical means....

Ah, well. I give up. Y'all win. I suppose the tired old tried-and-true methods will have to do, in the event our Lord Voldemort decides I no longer amuse him. It's not like I have much say in the matter.

My Lord, I humbly make another suggestion...should any of these fine followers fall under your displeasure, they should be condemned to the torture method they themselves suggested. *evil grin* In the meantime, I particularly hope to see the bamboo method in effect with the next Sue-writer I find.

[xxjericahxx]

Don't get me wrong,

I do like your means of letting everybody have ideas of torture for you, but we cannot make the most delicious ideas at the most useless times.

Just replying truthfully
xxjericahxx

[askvoldemort]

Well, I would think that if you didn't have time to think about it you'd be pressed for time.

[karma_willow]

Extreeeemely hick country music ought to do the job. ;P

But I've heard of a cute little method of killing people. Pizarro, bastard that he is, used it on the king of the Inca when the poor man proved of no further use to him. I don't remember how exactly it went, but I know it involved some rope tying two sticks together in a cross, and twisting them as the rope is tied around the chest or around the neck. Twist them long and hard enough, and the person's ribs will cave in/neck will be completely destroyed.

Called garrotting, I think. Works on both chest and neck. Pick your poison, I guess.

[askvoldemort]

The old ways are classics for a reason.

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