my camera is broken.
STELLA IS DEAD. LONG LIVE STELLA.
01. Have you ever been to an occult supplies store?
sigh, no. i'll have to go soon.
02. A young boy is eyeing up your skittles. What do you do?
offer him some, unless he's severly deformed. then he can't have any of my perfect little skittles.
03. Two scruffy, chain-smoking old people of the opposite sex make a catcall at you. What do you say?
'choke and die, old man!'
04. Do you have any jewelry that you find has a certain...power?
i have a ring that shoots plasma blasts. i'd show you, but then i'd have to kill you.
05. What footwear do you own that you feel would be best in an ass-kicking situation?
my converse-esque heels.
06. Name one part of your body that represents a fruit or vegetable (don't be obvious, lame-o).
my hair is that of a strained peach. [thanks, weird al.]
07. Name your favorite soup.
new england clam chowder.
08. It's Friday afternoon. You have $10 in your wallet. You have four hours to get rid of it. What do you do?
cigarettes, coffee, pack of gum. teenage style.
09. It's Friday afternoon. You have a bomb. You have four minutes to get rid of it. What do you do?
convince a seagull to eat it, then take pictures as it explodes mid-flight.
10. What is your preferred mode of transportation for taking over the world?
vespa.
11. If every piece of electronic equipment had to greet you every day, what would the greeting be set to?
something very southern, i'm thinking a 'howdy' of some sort.
12. What historical figure would you most like to fuck the spouse of?
not sure, some extreme feminists husband. just to piss her off.
13. Aviators or trucker cap?
avis, of course.
14. What is the top fashion trend you'd most like to banish from the books?
skirts over jeans. die die die.
15. What celebrity would you pull the switch on?
i don't want to pull switches. i'd rather snipe them from the top of a building as they conglomerate in a parking lot, dawn of the dead style.
16. Nutella or peanut butter?
oh god oh god oh god peanut butter don't shoot me!
17. Would you ever refer to yourself as a "wild cookie"?
now i have to.
18. Is your spoon too big?
alack, it will not fit in my mouth. snicker.
19. Favorite atomic element, please.
when i answer, will you say thank you? because i don't think you will.
20. Are you fat and sassy?
nope. skinny and naive.
21. Lights on or off?
it's hard to see with the lights off. but the question is, can i see in the dark? because i can.
22. What's your usual overpriced yuppie beverage of choice at your local Starbucks?
venti caramel mochiato with soymilk.
23. What'chu need?
some good music and a time out.
24. Scarf or shawl?
scarfyarfyarfy.
25. If someone walked up to you with a giant copper penis shouting "giant copper cock!" what would you do?
'indeed it is, good sir!'
26. Your roommate chokes on his own spit for the umpteenth time in the middle of the night, waking you up. What do you do?
let him continue to choke.
27. If you had to be any state quarter, which would you be?
wisconsin. comeon, they're lacking so much excitement that they were forced to put a cow on it.
28. What color is your umbrella?
umbrellas are for people who live in the city and dykes. i wear a hoodie.
29. Is humidity your friend or foe?
who's friend is it? fuck humidity. that's right, i said it. frizz my hair all you want, i won't give in!
30. What is your favorite office supply?
stapler. [in jello. in england.]
31. You go into the store and buy a box of condoms. You must buy one more unrelated item in the store. What will it be?
a box of tampons to skeeve them out.
32. If you saw a sidewalk dug up during construction and above it a sign that said "Sidewalk Closed", and you had a can of spray paint in your possession to write something under it, what would you write?
'open monday-friday, 8AM-6PM'
33. If you saw someone with a baby in a sling...?
say 'you! you over there! yes, you! you are an irresponsible parent!'
34. A baby on a leash...?
laugh.
35. What's your homepage on your web browser set to?
http://www.myspace.com
36. Messenger bag or backpack?
messenger, i don't own a backpack.
37. If you could be a squirrel for an hour, what would you do?
do that little squirrel jump/walk thing, and jump seemingly unjumpable jumps from branch to branch. and eat out of the bird feeder.
38. What color is your towel?
white
39. Uggs or moccasins?
moccasins
40. John Mayer: Down's Syndrome patient or musical genius?
happy medium.
41. Favorite President...of any country. Explain.
the czar nicholas. that whole massacre of his family always interested me.
42. What do you REALLY want to do with the little tabs you rip off your paychecks?
i don't know. cook them.
43. Would you ever carry toilet paper on your utility belt? Under what circumstances?
only when i know i would be stuck in a desery for a very long time, as every superhero inevitably is in at least one episode.
44. Describe your superhero sidekick.
i fly solo, but i always liked tank girl's tank. i'll take that.
45. If you could be an Eighties cartoon character, which would you pick?
richard simmons.
46. How do you take your tea?
one sugar.
47. Have you ever gone on a housewide search for chocolate?
i'm a female, come on.
48. Did you find it?
do we ever? no. and it is terrible.
49. How messy was your face afterwards?
it wasn't! that was the problem!
50. Name your Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream flavor of choice.
half baked.
51. What's your preferred television movie channel?
action, or western.
52. Plaid or stripes?
the occassion matters.
53. Same question; add polka dots.
oh god, stripes!
54. What is the object on your desk that you are most emotionally attached to?
my ipod.
55. How much time do you spend in the bathroom in the morning, from entrance to exit?
about five minutes. [i do my makeup in my room.]
56. If you were having wild, raunchy sex in a room, would you be courteous enough to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob?
probably, unless i wanted to freak someone out. 'oh my god, they were just having wild, raunchy sex in that room!' '::cackle:: why yes! indeed we were!'
57. What if you were outside of the room?
why would i have sex outside of the room if i could have sex inside of the room? the room probably has more furniture.
58. Explain.
ah, the furniture thing. but i would put do not disturb signs on all the doorknobs if i had enough, just to cause confusion and maybe the apocalypse.
59. What are your thoughts on enclosed telephone booths?
they're very neat. featured in many cool movies.
60. If you had to change your name to a nontraditional name, what would it be? i always liked the name christalena
61. Favorite key on the keyboard ("Any" key not allowed)?
escape
62. How many e-mails do you receive daily?
a bunch.
63. How many e-mails do you WANT to receive daily?
more meaningful ones.
64. Favorite barnyard animal...to imitate.
wookies.
65. If you had to come down with a terminal illness, what would it be and why?
everyone's all for the vegetative states nowadays.
66. Where would you go if you had a terribly infectious disease that threatened human existence?
a nice, sunny, deserted island, complete with a bar and a hammock.
67. What would you do if you were being beseiged by a hoard of brain-consuming zombies?
again, back to the dawn of the dead reference. ::sniping motion:: 'you in the head...you in the head...'
68. ...brain-consuming pigeons?
same, but shooting golf balls this time. maybe a bazooka.
69. Fictional character you'd most like to bed?
fuck, he was a wingly in legends of dragoon with platinum hair. i can't remember his name, but they did a good job. or the main character, he wasn't that bad.
70. What would you mix gatorade with if you had to mix it with something?
...water?
71. You have one piece of candy in a shop to steal. Which one is worth stealing?
reeses anything.
72. What is your preferred method of organizing your classwork?
dividers and that multicolored folder thing everyone has.
73. Air conditioner or heater? Pick one and explain.
air, i'd rather be cold with tons of blankets than like, dying in the summer.
74. Hot tub or sauna? Really explain.
hot tub. tiny bubbles, all over. and sex.
75. What most interesting part does gravity play in your life?
destroying my body with time.
76. If you could fall through something, what would it be?
an endless pit with pillows on the wall, but i'd bring snacks and toilet paper on my utility belt. maybe eventually latch on to an edge and build a house.
77. Do you find that your bed exudes your personality? Why/why not?
not really. it's really nice. and i don't think i am most of the time.
78. Finish this sentence: "I don't like the __________ I have right now very much though, it doesn't lay flat."
"extremely attractive latin american personal trainer"
79. Would you use Scope or Listerine as a preferred torture method?
listerine, is this a contest?
80. And how?
force them to snort a line of it.
81. Name a creative, nonsexual use for baby oil.
covering the floor and yourself with it, then sliding around.
82. If you had a pen name, what would it be?
airport brooks.
83. If you had to amputate one limb, which limb and why?
left leg, i could get a fake one and then really be 'peg leg meg'
84. If you had to amputate someone else's limb, which limb and why?
they're head. so i can't hear them scream. is a head a limb? it's an extremity.
85. What would you do if a person with a breathing hole in their throat needed CPR?
claim 'hey, i don't work here'
86. Your TA really digs you. Do you take the bait?
if he was hot and offering me sick grades.
87. Have you admittedly ever tried one of Cosmopolitan's "Hot Sex Tips"?
haha yep. i think most girls have.
88. Did it work?
[i'm not answering this one to make you think.]
89. If you had a remote that could control any one thing, what would it be?
time.
90. If you ruled the world, where would your home base be?
probably california.
91. Name your biggest sacreligious act.
the phrase 'i got unplugged like the pope!'
92. If you had to live in 15th century England, what would your vocation be?
damsel in distress, hardcore.
93. Name your absolute favorite kind of hat.
grandpa hat.
94. Pineapple chunks or rings?
chunks!!!
95. Do you know anyone who truly likes fruit cake?
nope.
96. Name your favorite news anchor.
jon stewart.
97. If you had to pick one advertisement to be outside of your apartment window for the rest of your life, what would it be?
enzyte.
98. Pain reliever of choice?
ibuprofen. everything else makes me sick.
99. If you could declare war on another country, which would it be?
canada.
And, as every quiz should ever end...
100. If you could die by sexy, how would you do it?
i'm not sure, but there will be pictures on livejournals.
eat shit and die, all of you. ALL OF YOU.
01. Have you ever been to an occult supplies store?
sigh, no. i'll have to go soon.
02. A young boy is eyeing up your skittles. What do you do?
offer him some, unless he's severly deformed. then he can't have any of my perfect little skittles.
03. Two scruffy, chain-smoking old people of the opposite sex make a catcall at you. What do you say?
'choke and die, old man!'
04. Do you have any jewelry that you find has a certain...power?
i have a ring that shoots plasma blasts. i'd show you, but then i'd have to kill you.
05. What footwear do you own that you feel would be best in an ass-kicking situation?
my converse-esque heels.
06. Name one part of your body that represents a fruit or vegetable (don't be obvious, lame-o).
my hair is that of a strained peach. [thanks, weird al.]
07. Name your favorite soup.
new england clam chowder.
08. It's Friday afternoon. You have $10 in your wallet. You have four hours to get rid of it. What do you do?
cigarettes, coffee, pack of gum. teenage style.
09. It's Friday afternoon. You have a bomb. You have four minutes to get rid of it. What do you do?
convince a seagull to eat it, then take pictures as it explodes mid-flight.
10. What is your preferred mode of transportation for taking over the world?
vespa.
11. If every piece of electronic equipment had to greet you every day, what would the greeting be set to?
something very southern, i'm thinking a 'howdy' of some sort.
12. What historical figure would you most like to fuck the spouse of?
not sure, some extreme feminists husband. just to piss her off.
13. Aviators or trucker cap?
avis, of course.
14. What is the top fashion trend you'd most like to banish from the books?
skirts over jeans. die die die.
15. What celebrity would you pull the switch on?
i don't want to pull switches. i'd rather snipe them from the top of a building as they conglomerate in a parking lot, dawn of the dead style.
16. Nutella or peanut butter?
oh god oh god oh god peanut butter don't shoot me!
17. Would you ever refer to yourself as a "wild cookie"?
now i have to.
18. Is your spoon too big?
alack, it will not fit in my mouth. snicker.
19. Favorite atomic element, please.
when i answer, will you say thank you? because i don't think you will.
20. Are you fat and sassy?
nope. skinny and naive.
21. Lights on or off?
it's hard to see with the lights off. but the question is, can i see in the dark? because i can.
22. What's your usual overpriced yuppie beverage of choice at your local Starbucks?
venti caramel mochiato with soymilk.
23. What'chu need?
some good music and a time out.
24. Scarf or shawl?
scarfyarfyarfy.
25. If someone walked up to you with a giant copper penis shouting "giant copper cock!" what would you do?
'indeed it is, good sir!'
26. Your roommate chokes on his own spit for the umpteenth time in the middle of the night, waking you up. What do you do?
let him continue to choke.
27. If you had to be any state quarter, which would you be?
wisconsin. comeon, they're lacking so much excitement that they were forced to put a cow on it.
28. What color is your umbrella?
umbrellas are for people who live in the city and dykes. i wear a hoodie.
29. Is humidity your friend or foe?
who's friend is it? fuck humidity. that's right, i said it. frizz my hair all you want, i won't give in!
30. What is your favorite office supply?
stapler. [in jello. in england.]
31. You go into the store and buy a box of condoms. You must buy one more unrelated item in the store. What will it be?
a box of tampons to skeeve them out.
32. If you saw a sidewalk dug up during construction and above it a sign that said "Sidewalk Closed", and you had a can of spray paint in your possession to write something under it, what would you write?
'open monday-friday, 8AM-6PM'
33. If you saw someone with a baby in a sling...?
say 'you! you over there! yes, you! you are an irresponsible parent!'
34. A baby on a leash...?
laugh.
35. What's your homepage on your web browser set to?
http://www.myspace.com
36. Messenger bag or backpack?
messenger, i don't own a backpack.
37. If you could be a squirrel for an hour, what would you do?
do that little squirrel jump/walk thing, and jump seemingly unjumpable jumps from branch to branch. and eat out of the bird feeder.
38. What color is your towel?
white
39. Uggs or moccasins?
moccasins
40. John Mayer: Down's Syndrome patient or musical genius?
happy medium.
41. Favorite President...of any country. Explain.
the czar nicholas. that whole massacre of his family always interested me.
42. What do you REALLY want to do with the little tabs you rip off your paychecks?
i don't know. cook them.
43. Would you ever carry toilet paper on your utility belt? Under what circumstances?
only when i know i would be stuck in a desery for a very long time, as every superhero inevitably is in at least one episode.
44. Describe your superhero sidekick.
i fly solo, but i always liked tank girl's tank. i'll take that.
45. If you could be an Eighties cartoon character, which would you pick?
richard simmons.
46. How do you take your tea?
one sugar.
47. Have you ever gone on a housewide search for chocolate?
i'm a female, come on.
48. Did you find it?
do we ever? no. and it is terrible.
49. How messy was your face afterwards?
it wasn't! that was the problem!
50. Name your Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream flavor of choice.
half baked.
51. What's your preferred television movie channel?
action, or western.
52. Plaid or stripes?
the occassion matters.
53. Same question; add polka dots.
oh god, stripes!
54. What is the object on your desk that you are most emotionally attached to?
my ipod.
55. How much time do you spend in the bathroom in the morning, from entrance to exit?
about five minutes. [i do my makeup in my room.]
56. If you were having wild, raunchy sex in a room, would you be courteous enough to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob?
probably, unless i wanted to freak someone out. 'oh my god, they were just having wild, raunchy sex in that room!' '::cackle:: why yes! indeed we were!'
57. What if you were outside of the room?
why would i have sex outside of the room if i could have sex inside of the room? the room probably has more furniture.
58. Explain.
ah, the furniture thing. but i would put do not disturb signs on all the doorknobs if i had enough, just to cause confusion and maybe the apocalypse.
59. What are your thoughts on enclosed telephone booths?
they're very neat. featured in many cool movies.
60. If you had to change your name to a nontraditional name, what would it be? i always liked the name christalena
61. Favorite key on the keyboard ("Any" key not allowed)?
escape
62. How many e-mails do you receive daily?
a bunch.
63. How many e-mails do you WANT to receive daily?
more meaningful ones.
64. Favorite barnyard animal...to imitate.
wookies.
65. If you had to come down with a terminal illness, what would it be and why?
everyone's all for the vegetative states nowadays.
66. Where would you go if you had a terribly infectious disease that threatened human existence?
a nice, sunny, deserted island, complete with a bar and a hammock.
67. What would you do if you were being beseiged by a hoard of brain-consuming zombies?
again, back to the dawn of the dead reference. ::sniping motion:: 'you in the head...you in the head...'
68. ...brain-consuming pigeons?
same, but shooting golf balls this time. maybe a bazooka.
69. Fictional character you'd most like to bed?
fuck, he was a wingly in legends of dragoon with platinum hair. i can't remember his name, but they did a good job. or the main character, he wasn't that bad.
70. What would you mix gatorade with if you had to mix it with something?
...water?
71. You have one piece of candy in a shop to steal. Which one is worth stealing?
reeses anything.
72. What is your preferred method of organizing your classwork?
dividers and that multicolored folder thing everyone has.
73. Air conditioner or heater? Pick one and explain.
air, i'd rather be cold with tons of blankets than like, dying in the summer.
74. Hot tub or sauna? Really explain.
hot tub. tiny bubbles, all over. and sex.
75. What most interesting part does gravity play in your life?
destroying my body with time.
76. If you could fall through something, what would it be?
an endless pit with pillows on the wall, but i'd bring snacks and toilet paper on my utility belt. maybe eventually latch on to an edge and build a house.
77. Do you find that your bed exudes your personality? Why/why not?
not really. it's really nice. and i don't think i am most of the time.
78. Finish this sentence: "I don't like the __________ I have right now very much though, it doesn't lay flat."
"extremely attractive latin american personal trainer"
79. Would you use Scope or Listerine as a preferred torture method?
listerine, is this a contest?
80. And how?
force them to snort a line of it.
81. Name a creative, nonsexual use for baby oil.
covering the floor and yourself with it, then sliding around.
82. If you had a pen name, what would it be?
airport brooks.
83. If you had to amputate one limb, which limb and why?
left leg, i could get a fake one and then really be 'peg leg meg'
84. If you had to amputate someone else's limb, which limb and why?
they're head. so i can't hear them scream. is a head a limb? it's an extremity.
85. What would you do if a person with a breathing hole in their throat needed CPR?
claim 'hey, i don't work here'
86. Your TA really digs you. Do you take the bait?
if he was hot and offering me sick grades.
87. Have you admittedly ever tried one of Cosmopolitan's "Hot Sex Tips"?
haha yep. i think most girls have.
88. Did it work?
[i'm not answering this one to make you think.]
89. If you had a remote that could control any one thing, what would it be?
time.
90. If you ruled the world, where would your home base be?
probably california.
91. Name your biggest sacreligious act.
the phrase 'i got unplugged like the pope!'
92. If you had to live in 15th century England, what would your vocation be?
damsel in distress, hardcore.
93. Name your absolute favorite kind of hat.
grandpa hat.
94. Pineapple chunks or rings?
chunks!!!
95. Do you know anyone who truly likes fruit cake?
nope.
96. Name your favorite news anchor.
jon stewart.
97. If you had to pick one advertisement to be outside of your apartment window for the rest of your life, what would it be?
enzyte.
98. Pain reliever of choice?
ibuprofen. everything else makes me sick.
99. If you could declare war on another country, which would it be?
canada.
And, as every quiz should ever end...
100. If you could die by sexy, how would you do it?
i'm not sure, but there will be pictures on livejournals.
eat shit and die, all of you. ALL OF YOU.