[For Brad]

[assured_of_this]

The walk today from his hut to Brad's has possibly been the longest of Nate's life. He's stopped no less than five times to catch his breath or wait for a sudden wave of nausea to pass, and he's been standing here watching Brad's place for what feels like an age, rallying his personal strength and sense of obligation. It's no surprise that his

Comments

[nothingtomiss]

Brad opens the door, and he's smiling, but that very quickly fades when he sees the look on Nate's face. Nate looks a little like he did that day at the airfield; it's not a look that Brad like seeing on Nate's face again.

"What?" he says, one hand on the door-frame, hair damp,a nd it doesn't even occur to him to step aside and ask Nate inside the house.

[assured_of_this]

Jesus, how can he do this? How can he look at Brad and do this? Breaking up with someone by phone or e-mail or text message is utterly low and Nate would never do it, but my God, does he ever sympathize with the impulse right now.

"I need to talk to you," he says, chin instinctively lifting. It's easier if he slips into his officer's facade, if he taps into that sense of duty. This is the best thing for all of them. It has to be.

"I don't know how to say this and make it any easier, Brad, so I'm just going to say it." Nate pauses, though. Long enough to make it seem like he might not be able to just say anything. He drops his eyes, something he'd normally never do.

"I've been talking to Remy and Terry, and I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I- I think you and I should stop seeing each other."

[nothingtomiss]

It jars; first Nate holds himself like an LT, something he hasn't done around Brad in a long time and then, right at the last minute, he looks away. Brad just stands there. He blinks. His posture changes, shoulders back. Nate can look like an LT. Brad can play that game too.

"...What did Terry say?" he asks because, shit, he hasn't heard anything from Terry. "What the hell is this, Nate?"

[assured_of_this]

"They're not happy, Brad!" Nate says, motioning wildly with one hand as he looks back up to this man, this incredible man he loves. This man he's going to hurt as assuredly as he's hurting himself. "I fucked it up! I've been so fucking selfish, and my wife-" He looks away again, mouth pressing into a line. "My wife feels used and unloved and like an afterthought. My wife, Brad. And if I knew any other way to fix this, I would do it in a heartbeat, you have to know that. But I don't. All the talking and rationalizing in the world isn't going to change the way this makes them feel, and I should have known that from the start."