Dim the lights

[astarlost]

Lets talk about feelings- I can't I don't have any left. I've been numb for a while now. You were the last one I ever felt anything for. You were the final mistake. I loved kissing you. Some people I just can't bring myself to put my tongue in their mouth, and so kissing them is kind of awkward

Comments

clf

[anonymous]

Oh Alicia, you are so cryptic! But you're good at it. I never have any idea who you're talking about, so for me it plays like a fiction and the story is allowed all the fancy accompaniments that reality denies.

Now that I am thinking about this, the internet persona you provide is always like this. In my head, e-Alicia has all sorts of steamy encounters in silhouetted canopy beds. When things happen to your internet self, they're more fun than when they happen to me. But this is only e-Alicia -- flesh Alicia I have a pretty good mutual understanding with.

---

Can I ask: do you feel consistently disappointed in the way things turn out versus the way you imagined? This is a hard question to phrase and I hope you understand it like I intend you to.

I do. And yet, I love living and I love experiences with people, and I love the things that have happened to me. I blame the disappointment on television and pornography, as well as society in general.

Re: clf

[astarlost]

I do. I like to think that some day this will change though. I know that it probably will not, but I would prefer to think that it will or might. I do enjoy experiencing life. I tend to convince myself that the way things happen in my head is the way they really happened. This makes it a lot easier to convince other people of it as well.
Also, I have a lot of dissapointing experiences, but most of those are just regrets. They come from situations that I should never have put myself in. These situations never had any potential to be satisfying.