to ease a sore throat, gargle with salt water. for upset stomachs, ginger ale helps. the only thing you can do for a broken toe is to tape it to its neighbor. club soda aids stain removal. parsley kills bad breath. if a wooden screw-hole is stripped, put toothpicks in it. cornstarch will de-gloss new playing cards. batteries keep longer in ( Read more... )

april twelfth, two ten am: jarold refers to heaven as, "the winner's circle".

high-fives for sexy girls with dreadlocks who are smarter than i.

p.s. i am worthless.
p.p.s. really worthless.
p^3.s. rosemary saved my life today.

i don't want to live in a world where shandi is not america's next top model.

perhaps i am extremely unrealistic.

i totally just got a check in the mail for thirteen dollars because of a class action suit against record companies for overpricing cds. rock!

in other news, happy saint patrick's day! down a pint of guiness for me.

kyle's a to z vinyl marathon status: ac/dc--back in black.
favorite song i didn't know about thus far: abba--sos.

i have realized that my method of communication with people outside of my head is tremendously insane, and that i have, for my entire life, tried to arrange some truce between the world i live in inside my head and the world that i live in outside of it.

on a related note, i am most assuredly going crazy.

if anyone wants to be my platonic sleeping buddy, i'm free nights, sunday through monday. i'm having trouble falling asleep alone.

i understand, now. i get it. i know that all my gestures, the sweeping of my arms, are just overcompensation. never this, not that. i know. i've known. just so i'm clear with everyone. i'm not in the dark about everything.

so go ahead, raise your hand again. i'll just raise my glass one more time in return.

four-thirty a.m. has somehow become the middle of the day for me. grr ( Read more... )

i just had the greatest idea i've ever had: go skiing today! yep. here's why it's so good ( Read more... )