Don't U Ever Stop (Sparkling)
Title: Don't U Ever Stop (Sparkling)
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Akanishi Jin/Kamenashi Kazuya; Yamashita Tomohisa
Summary: I followed Kamenashi into a meadow, and I swear, I was not expecting him to start shimmering like an explosion had just happened at the glitter factory as soon as the sun hit his pale skin.
Notes/Warnings: For the Happy Gay Summer fic meme, June 2010. Yes, this is Twilight retold as an Akame story. Don't knock it til you try it.
About three things I was absolutely certain. The first, Kame was a vampire. The second, there was a part of him, probably the crazy OCD part, that made him thirst for my blood or something. And third, I unconditionally and irrevocably wanted to fuck him.
-
When I signed up for the year abroad program, I thought there'd be placement in an awesome school. There were always these American movies about exchange students. Everyone in America went to a high school in California where they had outdoor halls and the cafeteria was the size of a stadium. That was the kind of school I wanted to go to.
I was kind of the impulsive type, and I wasn't much for reading the fine print of things. Because my map said that Washington was on the west coast and California's on the west coast, where I figured I belonged, so I signed my name on the dotted line and agreed to spend my junior year abroad.
And six months later, there I was getting off the plane at Seattle wondering if I was just as stupid as Nishikido had always said I was. Forks, Washington was awful. It was rainy and miserable and full of people who thought I'd gotten lost on the way to the local China Buffet.
My English wasn't bad. I'd learned a lot from watching DVDs with subtitles and from listening to rap music. And I guess being a newcomer and foreign was exciting for the students at Forks High School. By the end of the first school day, three girls and one particularly shy guy had asked me to the Turnabout dance, whatever the shit that was.
So the town sucked and the high school was full of people who wanted to get in my pants solely because I was new and because they had seen an episode or two of Death Note and thought all Japanese people were a little insane like that. I don't know, I didn't understand it, but the math classes were a lot easier than the ones I'd had back home. It just wasn't beaches and sex under the Hollywood sign like I'd been expecting.
And meeting Kamenashi Kazuya was something else I hadn't expected either.
-
I got transferred into AP chemistry because I had tested well on my placement exam. It was really kind of funny that a guy like me had done so well, but I guess what they say about the American educational system is true. But anyway, my seatmate in AP chem was this really quiet guy, really skinny too.
And you know, I've always thought of myself as an open minded guy. Because Japanese girls are quiet and giggly and sometimes more interested in the cute little charms hanging off their phone than on the guys in class. So I was guilty of checking out the guys just because they'd talk and I got along with them better. Plus, once you got a guy to make out with you, he'll keep doing it just so you don't tell anybody about it.
And I have to be honest with you, I had never seen anyone quite like Kamenashi before. I'd found the one other Asian at Forks High School and they sat us together. Where my face was kind of round, Kamenashi's was kind of sharp and pointy. Chiseled like marble or something, I don't even fucking know. Where I kind of had a healthy glow (exfoliating, don't knock it), Kamenashi looked kind of half dead.
So he was interesting looking in this kind of feminine way. And he hated me too. He made snippy little bitch comments when we were working as lab partners, stupid shit like how he learned English by listening to rap music with some kind of message instead of “that gangster shit.” But little did skinny little Kamenashi realize, but I'm kind of drawn to people who tease me. It lets me tease back and be kind of a dick.
I'd look forward to class, look forward to lighting up the burner with Kamenashi and speaking in lines from Lil' Wayne songs just to piss him off while he was trying to write his lab reports. One day, he didn't show up for class, and it just wasn't the same. My skinny little bitch lab partner had high tailed it for the week.
A camping trip, one of the nosy girls who was obviously in love with me said. Who the fuck went camping in the middle of the school year? I'll admit, I'm not big on camping. Don't ask me to pitch any kind of tent that isn't a boner, alright? It was weird though. Kamenashi didn't look like the camping type either. Like he'd see a bug or something and would scream like a girl. That was the kind of look he had to him.
I didn't believe him. I had to find out more about all the fucking mystery that surrounded his 95 pound ass.
-
My host dad Charlie was the chief of the Forks police. I guess being the chief of the Forks police is like being a cop at Disneyland because it was pretty fucking pointless and he dealt with stupid shit. A logging truck blocking the street or giving out parking tickets. He was lame and kept trying to be my friend.
But anyhow, Charlie was friends with these Native American dudes, which was kind of cool. It beat all the people in Forks. I decided to go surfing down with the reservation kids because my supposed friends from Forks High were pussies and didn't like to hang at the rez. I met this weird ass kid, Yamapi, down at the rez.
He was Japanese too, which made me really wonder about how me, him and Kamenashi had found ourselves in the middle of nowhere Washington. But Pi was a cool guy, and he'd been living at the rez since he and his mom had moved to America a decade ago. She'd shacked up with one of the rez guys, and Pi was like an honorary member of the tribe or some shit.
Either way, he liked to surf and I liked to surf, so it was all good. Plus, it was nice to have someone to speak Japanese with since Kamenashi was kind of a bitch about wanting to “function well in an environment of total immersion” or some shit.
We surfed for a while before it started to rain. It was always fucking raining. Pi and I grabbed our boards and relaxed in his stepguy's van. “So what's the deal with Kamenashi?” I asked him, figuring that another Japanese guy in the area wouldn't have eluded him.
Yamapi just gave me this strange look like I'd asked to go out with his mom or something, but he got over it. “Kamenashi is someone you need to avoid, Jin,” he told me, his dark eyes staring a hole straight through me. “He's not a good guy.”
“Pfft, I know that,” I told him, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. “He's a total little priss. But that's kind of why he intrigues me. He's playing hard to get.”
“He's not playing hard to get,” Pi informed me. “There's like, all this stuff they talk about at the tribal meetings. And my English isn't that good, so I don't know everything they say, but they're always talking about Kamenashi.”
“Why?” I asked him. I'd be damned if I had to beat a bunch of the huge rez guys to go out with Kamenashi - the guys were seriously the biggest, built guys ever.
“It sounds like there's some rivalry here. The tribe says Kamenashi's not welcome on their land.”
“Did he run over their dog or something?”
“No, Jin, he ate it.”
I dropped my sandwich. “What?”
“He's like, really weird. Stay the fuck away from him, okay?” Pi refused to talk any more about Kamenashi, trying to change the topic to making friendship bracelets or some shit. I told him I'd think about it.
It just made me all the more curious about the guy. What can I say, I'm kind of M sometimes.
-
I borrowed Charlie's spare truck and drove up to Port Angeles. Forks is absolutely shitty when it comes to entertainment, so if I wanted new CDs or DVDs I went there. That day it was overrun with the boring girls from Forks High who were all buying the dresses for their Turnabout dance. I still had no fucking clue what that was. I honestly thought it meant crossdressing, but I probably could have just Googled it.
Anyhow, I was coming out of the music store and these creepy guys started following me. Again, I guess I'm kind of exotic looking and pretty or something here. I'm not making it up, alright? So they were following me and saying racist shit like “sucky sucky five dolla” and that was not cool, and I tried to ignore them. But then they cornered me in an alley - totally my fault, I could have sworn I parked Charlie's ghetto truck there but I was mistaken.
But just when I thought I was going to get seriously pounded up the ass by these racist hicks, out of nowhere comes this shiny silver car, and Kamenashi rolls down the window. “Get in, retard,” he said, and I had to admit that having this little skinny shit berate me was hilarious. I totally got in the car.
We then went to an Italian restaurant, which was pretty gay in hindsight and should have clued me in right away that Kamenashi wanted to bang me just as much as I wanted to bang him. I ordered the spaghetti special and Kamenashi ordered a Diet Coke and didn't drink it.
“So where the hell have you been?” I asked him. “I didn't take notes in class, so you're kind of fucked.”
He just stared at me. What a grouch. And every time I moved or pushed my hair out of my eyes he'd be staring at me all creepy-like, kind of like he wanted to do me. Or take the Diet Coke straw and jam it through my eyeball, I don't know. He was really all about mixed signals.
“So what's your deal? Why save me? And how did you know I was in trouble?”
“I can read minds,” he informed me, as if that wasn't the weirdest fucking thing I'd heard of. “I can read everyone's mind. I read the minds of the guys who were after you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, shaking some parmesan onto my dinner. “Read the waitress' mind.”
“She thinks you're going to get a lot fatter if you keep shaking that cheese.” I set it down and kicked Kamenashi under the table. He suddenly looked glum. Like before he'd just been a whiny bitch. But now he was actually depressed. “But Akanishi, no matter what I do, I can't read your mind.”
“My friend Ryo says it's because there's nothing in my head. But he's an asshole,” I told him, jamming in a mouthful of spaghetti. I hoped that Kamenashi was paying because I'd blown all my money on my Jay-Z CDs.
“Do you even know how special you are?” he asked, all weepy eyed like he was PMSing or something. He needed some kind of mood stabilizing medication.
“Is that a trick question?”
Kamenashi was fed up with me and called for the bill. Thankfully, he did pay.
-
He drove me home in his swanky ass car, and I was totally getting home stay grounded because I'd left Charlie's truck in Port Angeles. I told Kamenashi as much, trying to tug on his hand, but it was ice cold.
“Dude, are you okay?” I asked. “You're freezing. Do you have an iron deficiency or something?”
Kamenashi said nothing, focusing on the road.
“How the hell are you in high school and you can afford a Volvo?”
He pressed down the accelerator, as if he wanted to get me home and out of his car faster.
But it was really strange. By the time I was upstairs brushing my teeth, I peeked out the window and saw Charlie's truck parked in the drive. And honestly, I don't know how I made the leap, but everything in my head sort of clicked. Kamenashi was weird looking and mean and had apparently eaten a dog and read minds and was colder than a penguin's nutsack.
But I had to know for sure.
-
I cornered Kamenashi after school one day. He was arranging his textbooks in his locker alphabetically and filing away some papers. “I need to talk to you,” I said. “It's important.”
“I'm not writing your paper for you, so you can forget it,” he replied, slamming his locker shut.
“Read my mind,” I said, blocking his way. I thought about taking him behind the Forks High football stadium and showing him my dick. I thought about it really hard too.
He frowned at me. “I don't know. You're thinking about the Turnabout dance?”
Seriously, what the fuck was this dance and why was everyone so god damned excited about it? America, Jesus Christ. If Kamenashi couldn't tell I was thinking about letting him suck me off, then he really couldn't read my mind. Because I was radiating blowjob so badly that one of the girls down the hall gasped and dropped her books.
I dragged him to the convenient forest that was located behind the school. Kamenashi grumbled the whole time under his breath, but I didn't care. I stopped in a small clearing and set my backpack down.
“Okay asshole, I've got a question.”
“I know what it is,” Kamenashi replied, looking all full of himself like he usually did.
“I thought you couldn't read my mind.”
“I can read your hand though,” he pointed out, gesturing to where I'd written 'Be sure to ask Kamenashi if he's a vampire' during sixth period that day.
“Oh,” I said. “Well. Are you a vampire?”
He stared at me until it was uncomfortable. And then he said “Yeah.”
“Wait. What?”
He shrugged. “I'm a vampire. I try not to eat humans. You know all that McDonalds and stuff is awful for your blood, so it ends up tasting like shit.”
“So you ate a dog on the rez once?”
“It wasn't a dog,” he complained. “They hold grudges like you wouldn't believe.”
I decided not to remind him that America had treated the Native Americans like shit for decades, so grudges were kind of justified. “Okay Kamenashi, so you're a vampire. What does that have to do with me being special?”
He leapt into a tree, which was pretty fucking cool aside from the way he kind of nancied his hands as he jumped. Some would probably call it graceful, but it was mostly just gay. “I'm attracted to you. I don't know if it's because you're not from around here or if it's because we're both Japanese or because you've just got great blood. But I can't stop the way I feel. And I really hate myself for it.”
“Wow,” I said, “nobody's ever told me they love me so much they hate themselves for it. That's kind of new, and I may need therapy.”
Kamenashi leapt to another branch, hanging upside down like a bat or a sloth or whatever other animals enjoy hanging upside down from trees. “I can't believe it's you. Why are you my soulmate? I want you, but I don't even like you.”
“And you're just so likeable yourself,” I pointed out. “You're built like a girl gymnast.”
He jumped back to the ground and grabbed my ponytail. “I could break your neck. Easily.”
“Like that's supposed to deter me from liking you? Because believe me, Kamenashi, I don't know why I like you either. Maybe this whole study abroad thing is fucking with me.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. “Here, let me show you something. Hopefully it will put you off and you'll get on a plane and leave me the hell alone in my misery.”
What an up person. He started to unbutton his shirt, and even if he was skinny, he was the wiry and toned kind of skinny rather than the skeleton kind of skinny. It was hot, especially since the Forks kids were all built like tater tots with faces.
I followed Kamenashi into a meadow, and I swear, I was not expecting him to start shimmering like an explosion had just happened at the glitter factory as soon as the sun hit his pale skin. So I laughed.
He turned around and scowled. “Don't make fun of me. I can't control it!”
“Wait wait,” I interrupted, nearly falling over. “You sparkle? Do you blind your prey or something?”
He pulled his shirt back on and sat down in a huff. “Don't ask me about the biological implications of this because hell if I know.” He laid back in the grass and sighed heavily. “You can see why I don't get laid regularly.”
I nodded in sympathy, laying down beside him. “I can see how someone being an undead Lady Gaga lookalike would keep potential mates away.”
“Fuck you, seriously.”
It still wasn't putting me off. The glittery thing kind of looked interesting on his grouchy face. And I'd never done anything with the undead. Cross that off my bucket list, I thought. I did have a few questions. “Kame, can I call you Kame?”
“I don't care.”
“Kame, if you're some vampire thing, do you have fangs?”
“No.”
“Do you sleep in a coffin?”
“No. I sleep naked in a bed with a plushie.” He blinked. “I am too honest around you.”
“No fangs, no coffin, you don't eat people. Then what is the fucking point?”
He sighed again. “I don't even know. I was sired by some weird old guy. He lives in Japan now and runs a talent agency. He didn't stay around long enough to explain everything.”
“Sucks.”
“I can run fast though. And you should see my fastball. I'm all-state for baseball.”
I didn't care much about that shit, but I was glad that Kame had something to pass the time since he'd be alive forever, and I'd probably get bored. Although if he really was undead, he'd probably have to transfer to another school a lot if he wanted to keep playing high school baseball competitively.
“Wanna make out?” I asked. I knew his big secret now, anyway. And I knew about the naked sleeping.
He turned his head to face me. “What is wrong with you? I could kill you. I could bite your face off. You get that I'm still a vampire right? I try not to eat humans, but even I make mistakes.”
I smiled. “That's kind of exciting though. Kinky, even. And if you want to nibble or something, we can take a break. Aww, come on. You were telling me I was special and shit. You're not one of those wait until marriage types, are you? Because the state of Washington wouldn't recognize our eternal love, you know.”
Kame considered this, and even if he couldn't read my mind, he had to see the hard on in my jeans. What can I say? The glitter thing was hilarious and sexy at the same time. The girlier Kame acted, the more I wanted to jump him.
Kame allowed me to roll over and get on top of him. Skinny as he was, he didn't complain. Maybe it was the vampire strength that kept me from snapping him in half like a twig. I briefly pondered the mechanics of sex with someone who wasn't alive. Rigor mortis and body fluids and things, and Kame interrupted that train of thought and pulled me down for a kiss.
It wasn't like sticking your tongue to a lamppost in winter, but more like chewing on an entire pack of minty gum. The kind that had that almost painful but not quite kind of tingle to it. It was really hot and cold at the same time I guess. You just have to believe me on this one. He really liked my hair, but I guess since he was all about my body and my scent and my blood and shit, it made sense for him to pull on it and grind his hips against mine. Question answered, by the way - vampires get hard too. I didn't know about the biology, but I was glad for it.
He moaned in the most perfect way as I ran my tongue along his lips, feeling the excitement and the danger increase, knowing that it was killing him (well, figuratively) to kiss me. How long would he be able to handle it? Would he fling me off of him all dramatically? Would he just take a huge bite out of me? The not knowing was making me so hot for him, and I reached between us to fumble with his belt.
But he was a total cockblock, stopping me quickly with a hand to my wrist. And the skinny little thing had a good grip. “Jin,” he said, looking at me sadly. “Not here. Because you're...”
“Special,” I grumbled, moving off of him. “Can't I just be average? So we can do stuff?”
“Maybe another time,” he said. “You have to get home. You're home stay grounded.”
I went back for my backpack, pissed off that I'd have to jack off alone when I got back. Fucking tease. “Whatever, man.”
“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb,” Kame mused as we walked back to the school parking lot.
“The fuck you smoking?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “I don't even know.”
-
And that was how my relationship with Kamenashi Kazuya the vampire started. Strange, right? But I have to say, he was really good at kissing. Maybe it was his lips. Maybe it was knowing that he really shouldn't be making out with humans, I don't know. He liked to bite open the corner of my lip and suck, and I guess it was enough to satisfy the bloodlust or whatever. I was in serious need of some Chap Stick after a week of being make out buddies. Or soulmates as Kame liked to tell me in complete seriousness, especially after turning me down for a handjob.
-
It seemed like there were other kinds of vampires. Vampires that weren't all abandoned and alone and emo like Kame. I think you'd call them vampires who aren't total pussies, whatever. But I was visiting our special meadow with him after school in hopes of finally scoring when we were interrupted.
There was a trio of three other vampires. I could tell because they shimmered too. They really weren't as hot as Kame. The leader wore a sweater vest and introduced himself as Nakamaru. The tall blond one was Junno and another one with crazy hair was Koki.
“What's up with this guy?” Junno asked. “Why are you with a human, Kame?”
Kame stood in front of me, and if anyone else saw, they'd probably laugh. It was like a chihuahua trying to guard a pitbull or something. I thought it was kind of sweet, if more than a little gay.
“This is my soulmate. I won't let you touch him.”
“We just make out,” I interrupted. “It's not that serious. Really.”
Koki smirked. “A human soulmate,” he said, completely ignoring what I'd said. “But he looks tasty. In that chewy, bored-looking human kind of way.”
It seemed that they didn't have a problem eating humans, and I was a little scared. Nakamaru crossed his arms and looked at Kame as though he'd just done something bad enough to get himself kicked out of the vampire clubhouse.
“This is hard to forgive, Kame. Watch yourself.”
They walked off in that kind of nancy boy fluttery way that Kame did too. I felt sufficiently threatened though, especially with all the lip smacking noises they made as they departed. Seriously, was everybody that interested in me? Was Forks that fucking dull?
Kame held my hand to keep it from trying to sneak into his skinny jeans. “I won't let them hurt you, Jin. You're a selfish, sex starved asshole, but you're mine. I love you, Akanishi.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
-
Kame's way of protecting me was really stupid. We got in his shiny car (he'd gotten all his money from betting against hicks at the batting cages and kicking their asses for decades) and he drove me away from Forks, hoping that Nakamaru and the other guys wouldn't catch my scent.
He drove me all the way to Arizona which was just as fuck-all boring as Washington to tell you the truth. I wanted to go to LA or New York, but he said that vampires hated the desert because it was like one big herpes outbreak trigger for their glittery goodness.
But then Kame was concerned about the AP test like a dick, and he drove back to Forks and left me alone. Not like I gave a shit about the AP test because I was kind of over study abroad at that point. So I was stuck in Arizona, and he had been cruel enough to request that access to the adult channels in the room be blocked because I was underage. He was so lucky that making out with him was great because that was some unforgivable shit right there.
The hotel room phone rang, and I answered. “Hey! It's Junno, you know, the vampire?”
The tall one. “Yeah, I remember you.”
“Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I don't want to toe this friendship not friendship line with Kamenashi any more. Do you see the ankle I'm getting at here?”
“Uh, you're making foot references?”
“Funny right? Like I said ankle and you'd think I meant angle, but since I was talking about feet...”
“I'm going to hang up.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Junno paused. “Did you want to go watch some porn with me?”
Nishikido had always been right about me, it was true. Because I jumped at the chance and asked where and when I could meet Junno.
-
So yeah, it was totally a trap. But to be honest, if Kame had just let me have porn in the hotel room, I probably wouldn't have been so stupid. Junno met me at an abandoned mall, and I probably should have been able to figure out that there was no porn theater hidden in the back.
Junno tied me to a bench outside what had been a Benetton store and started videotaping me. “I'm going to send this to Kame. You know, I don't really have a problem with you personally, but he's just breaking rules by dating a human. I'm not really a stickler for that, but sometimes he gets so arrogant.”
“Oh, I know what you mean,” I said. “He's a prissy little bitch a lot.”
“Yeah,” Junno concurred. “He needs to be taught a lesson. He should stay with his own kind and just use your kind for food. Now I'm going to break your leg. No hard feelings?”
“Wait, what?”
He stepped on my leg right at the shin, and I heard the nastiest snapping sound and then the pain was ridiculously intense. Like it was some crazy stuff you see in movies, but it struck home that I really was in danger. I cried, I don't feel any shame in admitting that. It hurt, okay?
“Dude!” I screamed.
“You see that, Kame?” Junno said to the video camera, recording my suffering. “Humans don't have a leg to stand on. Haha! Get it?”
I was too busy clutching my leg. What the everloving fuck? I didn't have any American health insurance. Did study abroad cover this shit? Junno raised his giant shoe again, and I winced, only until I heard the glass of the atrium break and in came Kamenashi, all jazz hands and gayness as he landed on the ground.
“Well thank god,” I complained. “This asshole broke my leg!”
Kamenashi looked furious. And not the kind of furious that he got when I asked him to blow me during the middle of chem class. This was an all new level of furious.
Junno dropped the video camera. “But I bought the tape and everything so I could send it to you! Now it's just lame!”
“Taguchi, you broke my soulmate's leg.”
“Kame,” I said, “can you please stop calling me that? It's embarrassing...”
“Look, Kame, seriously,” Junno pleaded as the two of them started to circle each other like the bloodthirsty predators they were. “You're breaking all the laws of being a vampire. Let's just drink this guy, okay? Because it would be bloody tasty. Right? See, bloody as in actual blood but when the British use bloody they...”
I nearly pissed myself when Kame suddenly pulled a stake from inside his coat and threw it at Junno's chest like a tomahawk. It hit its mark, and Junno collapsed, gurgling.
“You might want to look away, Jin. I have to break his neck and burn the body.”
“That's fine,” I said, looking away and focusing on the ridiculous amount of pain I was in. Since it wasn't exactly going away. My leg was fucking broken after all. “And if we can hit up a hospital in the next few hours, it would be great.”
I heard Kame say “I'm sorry, Taguchi” and then I heard the crack and the flick of the lighter. I passed out from the pain. Sorry I'm so lame.
-
I was out of the hospital within the week, and Chief Swan didn't think it was weird at all that I'd broken my leg. He thought I was kind of an idiot. Why did people always get that impression about me? Either way, it was the night of that lame ass Turnabout dance, and somehow in a Vicodin-induced stupor I'd agreed to attend the dance with Kame.
I was hobbling around on my crutches as Kame parked, and Yamapi showed up like a total fucking stalker. Luckily, he was cool, so I didn't mind. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “This dance is lame. The theme is Justin Bieber Forever, after all.”
Pi nodded. “Yeah, that's pretty stupid. But I just gotta ask you, man. Why Kame? I told you to stay away.”
“I honestly can't explain it. I just feel it,” I told him.
“Well,” Pi said, looking like I'd killed a kitten in front of him or something. “I'm disappointed. And I'm not going to leave you alone about this. I'm going to watch out for you.”
Kame approached, giving Pi a dirty look as he walked up. I thought I heard Pi make some kind of growly dog noise, but I was still on the painkillers so it was probably just my imagination. We'd all been in America too long, seen too much weird shit.
Kame escorted me into the dance but we stayed separate from everyone else on account of us being two dudes attending the dance together in a Republican-voting county.
“I can't stand you,” Kamenashi told me as we stood in the gazebo together, looking at the stars. “But I'll protect you and care about you forever.”
“You are one strange motherfucker,” I said, taking out the cigarettes I'd stolen from Chief Swan when he was off at work. “I like you.”
Kame lit my cigarette and snatched one for himself. “I'm not having sex with you tonight, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” I took a drag of my cigarette. But I would have sex with him, I vowed. Someday.
-
And of course, I didn't see him then, but that crazy vampire Koki walked off into the moonlight vowing revenge. Or something. But that story's for another day.
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Akanishi Jin/Kamenashi Kazuya; Yamashita Tomohisa
Summary: I followed Kamenashi into a meadow, and I swear, I was not expecting him to start shimmering like an explosion had just happened at the glitter factory as soon as the sun hit his pale skin.
Notes/Warnings: For the Happy Gay Summer fic meme, June 2010. Yes, this is Twilight retold as an Akame story. Don't knock it til you try it.
About three things I was absolutely certain. The first, Kame was a vampire. The second, there was a part of him, probably the crazy OCD part, that made him thirst for my blood or something. And third, I unconditionally and irrevocably wanted to fuck him.
-
When I signed up for the year abroad program, I thought there'd be placement in an awesome school. There were always these American movies about exchange students. Everyone in America went to a high school in California where they had outdoor halls and the cafeteria was the size of a stadium. That was the kind of school I wanted to go to.
I was kind of the impulsive type, and I wasn't much for reading the fine print of things. Because my map said that Washington was on the west coast and California's on the west coast, where I figured I belonged, so I signed my name on the dotted line and agreed to spend my junior year abroad.
And six months later, there I was getting off the plane at Seattle wondering if I was just as stupid as Nishikido had always said I was. Forks, Washington was awful. It was rainy and miserable and full of people who thought I'd gotten lost on the way to the local China Buffet.
My English wasn't bad. I'd learned a lot from watching DVDs with subtitles and from listening to rap music. And I guess being a newcomer and foreign was exciting for the students at Forks High School. By the end of the first school day, three girls and one particularly shy guy had asked me to the Turnabout dance, whatever the shit that was.
So the town sucked and the high school was full of people who wanted to get in my pants solely because I was new and because they had seen an episode or two of Death Note and thought all Japanese people were a little insane like that. I don't know, I didn't understand it, but the math classes were a lot easier than the ones I'd had back home. It just wasn't beaches and sex under the Hollywood sign like I'd been expecting.
And meeting Kamenashi Kazuya was something else I hadn't expected either.
-
I got transferred into AP chemistry because I had tested well on my placement exam. It was really kind of funny that a guy like me had done so well, but I guess what they say about the American educational system is true. But anyway, my seatmate in AP chem was this really quiet guy, really skinny too.
And you know, I've always thought of myself as an open minded guy. Because Japanese girls are quiet and giggly and sometimes more interested in the cute little charms hanging off their phone than on the guys in class. So I was guilty of checking out the guys just because they'd talk and I got along with them better. Plus, once you got a guy to make out with you, he'll keep doing it just so you don't tell anybody about it.
And I have to be honest with you, I had never seen anyone quite like Kamenashi before. I'd found the one other Asian at Forks High School and they sat us together. Where my face was kind of round, Kamenashi's was kind of sharp and pointy. Chiseled like marble or something, I don't even fucking know. Where I kind of had a healthy glow (exfoliating, don't knock it), Kamenashi looked kind of half dead.
So he was interesting looking in this kind of feminine way. And he hated me too. He made snippy little bitch comments when we were working as lab partners, stupid shit like how he learned English by listening to rap music with some kind of message instead of “that gangster shit.” But little did skinny little Kamenashi realize, but I'm kind of drawn to people who tease me. It lets me tease back and be kind of a dick.
I'd look forward to class, look forward to lighting up the burner with Kamenashi and speaking in lines from Lil' Wayne songs just to piss him off while he was trying to write his lab reports. One day, he didn't show up for class, and it just wasn't the same. My skinny little bitch lab partner had high tailed it for the week.
A camping trip, one of the nosy girls who was obviously in love with me said. Who the fuck went camping in the middle of the school year? I'll admit, I'm not big on camping. Don't ask me to pitch any kind of tent that isn't a boner, alright? It was weird though. Kamenashi didn't look like the camping type either. Like he'd see a bug or something and would scream like a girl. That was the kind of look he had to him.
I didn't believe him. I had to find out more about all the fucking mystery that surrounded his 95 pound ass.
-
My host dad Charlie was the chief of the Forks police. I guess being the chief of the Forks police is like being a cop at Disneyland because it was pretty fucking pointless and he dealt with stupid shit. A logging truck blocking the street or giving out parking tickets. He was lame and kept trying to be my friend.
But anyhow, Charlie was friends with these Native American dudes, which was kind of cool. It beat all the people in Forks. I decided to go surfing down with the reservation kids because my supposed friends from Forks High were pussies and didn't like to hang at the rez. I met this weird ass kid, Yamapi, down at the rez.
He was Japanese too, which made me really wonder about how me, him and Kamenashi had found ourselves in the middle of nowhere Washington. But Pi was a cool guy, and he'd been living at the rez since he and his mom had moved to America a decade ago. She'd shacked up with one of the rez guys, and Pi was like an honorary member of the tribe or some shit.
Either way, he liked to surf and I liked to surf, so it was all good. Plus, it was nice to have someone to speak Japanese with since Kamenashi was kind of a bitch about wanting to “function well in an environment of total immersion” or some shit.
We surfed for a while before it started to rain. It was always fucking raining. Pi and I grabbed our boards and relaxed in his stepguy's van. “So what's the deal with Kamenashi?” I asked him, figuring that another Japanese guy in the area wouldn't have eluded him.
Yamapi just gave me this strange look like I'd asked to go out with his mom or something, but he got over it. “Kamenashi is someone you need to avoid, Jin,” he told me, his dark eyes staring a hole straight through me. “He's not a good guy.”
“Pfft, I know that,” I told him, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. “He's a total little priss. But that's kind of why he intrigues me. He's playing hard to get.”
“He's not playing hard to get,” Pi informed me. “There's like, all this stuff they talk about at the tribal meetings. And my English isn't that good, so I don't know everything they say, but they're always talking about Kamenashi.”
“Why?” I asked him. I'd be damned if I had to beat a bunch of the huge rez guys to go out with Kamenashi - the guys were seriously the biggest, built guys ever.
“It sounds like there's some rivalry here. The tribe says Kamenashi's not welcome on their land.”
“Did he run over their dog or something?”
“No, Jin, he ate it.”
I dropped my sandwich. “What?”
“He's like, really weird. Stay the fuck away from him, okay?” Pi refused to talk any more about Kamenashi, trying to change the topic to making friendship bracelets or some shit. I told him I'd think about it.
It just made me all the more curious about the guy. What can I say, I'm kind of M sometimes.
-
I borrowed Charlie's spare truck and drove up to Port Angeles. Forks is absolutely shitty when it comes to entertainment, so if I wanted new CDs or DVDs I went there. That day it was overrun with the boring girls from Forks High who were all buying the dresses for their Turnabout dance. I still had no fucking clue what that was. I honestly thought it meant crossdressing, but I probably could have just Googled it.
Anyhow, I was coming out of the music store and these creepy guys started following me. Again, I guess I'm kind of exotic looking and pretty or something here. I'm not making it up, alright? So they were following me and saying racist shit like “sucky sucky five dolla” and that was not cool, and I tried to ignore them. But then they cornered me in an alley - totally my fault, I could have sworn I parked Charlie's ghetto truck there but I was mistaken.
But just when I thought I was going to get seriously pounded up the ass by these racist hicks, out of nowhere comes this shiny silver car, and Kamenashi rolls down the window. “Get in, retard,” he said, and I had to admit that having this little skinny shit berate me was hilarious. I totally got in the car.
We then went to an Italian restaurant, which was pretty gay in hindsight and should have clued me in right away that Kamenashi wanted to bang me just as much as I wanted to bang him. I ordered the spaghetti special and Kamenashi ordered a Diet Coke and didn't drink it.
“So where the hell have you been?” I asked him. “I didn't take notes in class, so you're kind of fucked.”
He just stared at me. What a grouch. And every time I moved or pushed my hair out of my eyes he'd be staring at me all creepy-like, kind of like he wanted to do me. Or take the Diet Coke straw and jam it through my eyeball, I don't know. He was really all about mixed signals.
“So what's your deal? Why save me? And how did you know I was in trouble?”
“I can read minds,” he informed me, as if that wasn't the weirdest fucking thing I'd heard of. “I can read everyone's mind. I read the minds of the guys who were after you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, shaking some parmesan onto my dinner. “Read the waitress' mind.”
“She thinks you're going to get a lot fatter if you keep shaking that cheese.” I set it down and kicked Kamenashi under the table. He suddenly looked glum. Like before he'd just been a whiny bitch. But now he was actually depressed. “But Akanishi, no matter what I do, I can't read your mind.”
“My friend Ryo says it's because there's nothing in my head. But he's an asshole,” I told him, jamming in a mouthful of spaghetti. I hoped that Kamenashi was paying because I'd blown all my money on my Jay-Z CDs.
“Do you even know how special you are?” he asked, all weepy eyed like he was PMSing or something. He needed some kind of mood stabilizing medication.
“Is that a trick question?”
Kamenashi was fed up with me and called for the bill. Thankfully, he did pay.
-
He drove me home in his swanky ass car, and I was totally getting home stay grounded because I'd left Charlie's truck in Port Angeles. I told Kamenashi as much, trying to tug on his hand, but it was ice cold.
“Dude, are you okay?” I asked. “You're freezing. Do you have an iron deficiency or something?”
Kamenashi said nothing, focusing on the road.
“How the hell are you in high school and you can afford a Volvo?”
He pressed down the accelerator, as if he wanted to get me home and out of his car faster.
But it was really strange. By the time I was upstairs brushing my teeth, I peeked out the window and saw Charlie's truck parked in the drive. And honestly, I don't know how I made the leap, but everything in my head sort of clicked. Kamenashi was weird looking and mean and had apparently eaten a dog and read minds and was colder than a penguin's nutsack.
But I had to know for sure.
-
I cornered Kamenashi after school one day. He was arranging his textbooks in his locker alphabetically and filing away some papers. “I need to talk to you,” I said. “It's important.”
“I'm not writing your paper for you, so you can forget it,” he replied, slamming his locker shut.
“Read my mind,” I said, blocking his way. I thought about taking him behind the Forks High football stadium and showing him my dick. I thought about it really hard too.
He frowned at me. “I don't know. You're thinking about the Turnabout dance?”
Seriously, what the fuck was this dance and why was everyone so god damned excited about it? America, Jesus Christ. If Kamenashi couldn't tell I was thinking about letting him suck me off, then he really couldn't read my mind. Because I was radiating blowjob so badly that one of the girls down the hall gasped and dropped her books.
I dragged him to the convenient forest that was located behind the school. Kamenashi grumbled the whole time under his breath, but I didn't care. I stopped in a small clearing and set my backpack down.
“Okay asshole, I've got a question.”
“I know what it is,” Kamenashi replied, looking all full of himself like he usually did.
“I thought you couldn't read my mind.”
“I can read your hand though,” he pointed out, gesturing to where I'd written 'Be sure to ask Kamenashi if he's a vampire' during sixth period that day.
“Oh,” I said. “Well. Are you a vampire?”
He stared at me until it was uncomfortable. And then he said “Yeah.”
“Wait. What?”
He shrugged. “I'm a vampire. I try not to eat humans. You know all that McDonalds and stuff is awful for your blood, so it ends up tasting like shit.”
“So you ate a dog on the rez once?”
“It wasn't a dog,” he complained. “They hold grudges like you wouldn't believe.”
I decided not to remind him that America had treated the Native Americans like shit for decades, so grudges were kind of justified. “Okay Kamenashi, so you're a vampire. What does that have to do with me being special?”
He leapt into a tree, which was pretty fucking cool aside from the way he kind of nancied his hands as he jumped. Some would probably call it graceful, but it was mostly just gay. “I'm attracted to you. I don't know if it's because you're not from around here or if it's because we're both Japanese or because you've just got great blood. But I can't stop the way I feel. And I really hate myself for it.”
“Wow,” I said, “nobody's ever told me they love me so much they hate themselves for it. That's kind of new, and I may need therapy.”
Kamenashi leapt to another branch, hanging upside down like a bat or a sloth or whatever other animals enjoy hanging upside down from trees. “I can't believe it's you. Why are you my soulmate? I want you, but I don't even like you.”
“And you're just so likeable yourself,” I pointed out. “You're built like a girl gymnast.”
He jumped back to the ground and grabbed my ponytail. “I could break your neck. Easily.”
“Like that's supposed to deter me from liking you? Because believe me, Kamenashi, I don't know why I like you either. Maybe this whole study abroad thing is fucking with me.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. “Here, let me show you something. Hopefully it will put you off and you'll get on a plane and leave me the hell alone in my misery.”
What an up person. He started to unbutton his shirt, and even if he was skinny, he was the wiry and toned kind of skinny rather than the skeleton kind of skinny. It was hot, especially since the Forks kids were all built like tater tots with faces.
I followed Kamenashi into a meadow, and I swear, I was not expecting him to start shimmering like an explosion had just happened at the glitter factory as soon as the sun hit his pale skin. So I laughed.
He turned around and scowled. “Don't make fun of me. I can't control it!”
“Wait wait,” I interrupted, nearly falling over. “You sparkle? Do you blind your prey or something?”
He pulled his shirt back on and sat down in a huff. “Don't ask me about the biological implications of this because hell if I know.” He laid back in the grass and sighed heavily. “You can see why I don't get laid regularly.”
I nodded in sympathy, laying down beside him. “I can see how someone being an undead Lady Gaga lookalike would keep potential mates away.”
“Fuck you, seriously.”
It still wasn't putting me off. The glittery thing kind of looked interesting on his grouchy face. And I'd never done anything with the undead. Cross that off my bucket list, I thought. I did have a few questions. “Kame, can I call you Kame?”
“I don't care.”
“Kame, if you're some vampire thing, do you have fangs?”
“No.”
“Do you sleep in a coffin?”
“No. I sleep naked in a bed with a plushie.” He blinked. “I am too honest around you.”
“No fangs, no coffin, you don't eat people. Then what is the fucking point?”
He sighed again. “I don't even know. I was sired by some weird old guy. He lives in Japan now and runs a talent agency. He didn't stay around long enough to explain everything.”
“Sucks.”
“I can run fast though. And you should see my fastball. I'm all-state for baseball.”
I didn't care much about that shit, but I was glad that Kame had something to pass the time since he'd be alive forever, and I'd probably get bored. Although if he really was undead, he'd probably have to transfer to another school a lot if he wanted to keep playing high school baseball competitively.
“Wanna make out?” I asked. I knew his big secret now, anyway. And I knew about the naked sleeping.
He turned his head to face me. “What is wrong with you? I could kill you. I could bite your face off. You get that I'm still a vampire right? I try not to eat humans, but even I make mistakes.”
I smiled. “That's kind of exciting though. Kinky, even. And if you want to nibble or something, we can take a break. Aww, come on. You were telling me I was special and shit. You're not one of those wait until marriage types, are you? Because the state of Washington wouldn't recognize our eternal love, you know.”
Kame considered this, and even if he couldn't read my mind, he had to see the hard on in my jeans. What can I say? The glitter thing was hilarious and sexy at the same time. The girlier Kame acted, the more I wanted to jump him.
Kame allowed me to roll over and get on top of him. Skinny as he was, he didn't complain. Maybe it was the vampire strength that kept me from snapping him in half like a twig. I briefly pondered the mechanics of sex with someone who wasn't alive. Rigor mortis and body fluids and things, and Kame interrupted that train of thought and pulled me down for a kiss.
It wasn't like sticking your tongue to a lamppost in winter, but more like chewing on an entire pack of minty gum. The kind that had that almost painful but not quite kind of tingle to it. It was really hot and cold at the same time I guess. You just have to believe me on this one. He really liked my hair, but I guess since he was all about my body and my scent and my blood and shit, it made sense for him to pull on it and grind his hips against mine. Question answered, by the way - vampires get hard too. I didn't know about the biology, but I was glad for it.
He moaned in the most perfect way as I ran my tongue along his lips, feeling the excitement and the danger increase, knowing that it was killing him (well, figuratively) to kiss me. How long would he be able to handle it? Would he fling me off of him all dramatically? Would he just take a huge bite out of me? The not knowing was making me so hot for him, and I reached between us to fumble with his belt.
But he was a total cockblock, stopping me quickly with a hand to my wrist. And the skinny little thing had a good grip. “Jin,” he said, looking at me sadly. “Not here. Because you're...”
“Special,” I grumbled, moving off of him. “Can't I just be average? So we can do stuff?”
“Maybe another time,” he said. “You have to get home. You're home stay grounded.”
I went back for my backpack, pissed off that I'd have to jack off alone when I got back. Fucking tease. “Whatever, man.”
“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb,” Kame mused as we walked back to the school parking lot.
“The fuck you smoking?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “I don't even know.”
-
And that was how my relationship with Kamenashi Kazuya the vampire started. Strange, right? But I have to say, he was really good at kissing. Maybe it was his lips. Maybe it was knowing that he really shouldn't be making out with humans, I don't know. He liked to bite open the corner of my lip and suck, and I guess it was enough to satisfy the bloodlust or whatever. I was in serious need of some Chap Stick after a week of being make out buddies. Or soulmates as Kame liked to tell me in complete seriousness, especially after turning me down for a handjob.
-
It seemed like there were other kinds of vampires. Vampires that weren't all abandoned and alone and emo like Kame. I think you'd call them vampires who aren't total pussies, whatever. But I was visiting our special meadow with him after school in hopes of finally scoring when we were interrupted.
There was a trio of three other vampires. I could tell because they shimmered too. They really weren't as hot as Kame. The leader wore a sweater vest and introduced himself as Nakamaru. The tall blond one was Junno and another one with crazy hair was Koki.
“What's up with this guy?” Junno asked. “Why are you with a human, Kame?”
Kame stood in front of me, and if anyone else saw, they'd probably laugh. It was like a chihuahua trying to guard a pitbull or something. I thought it was kind of sweet, if more than a little gay.
“This is my soulmate. I won't let you touch him.”
“We just make out,” I interrupted. “It's not that serious. Really.”
Koki smirked. “A human soulmate,” he said, completely ignoring what I'd said. “But he looks tasty. In that chewy, bored-looking human kind of way.”
It seemed that they didn't have a problem eating humans, and I was a little scared. Nakamaru crossed his arms and looked at Kame as though he'd just done something bad enough to get himself kicked out of the vampire clubhouse.
“This is hard to forgive, Kame. Watch yourself.”
They walked off in that kind of nancy boy fluttery way that Kame did too. I felt sufficiently threatened though, especially with all the lip smacking noises they made as they departed. Seriously, was everybody that interested in me? Was Forks that fucking dull?
Kame held my hand to keep it from trying to sneak into his skinny jeans. “I won't let them hurt you, Jin. You're a selfish, sex starved asshole, but you're mine. I love you, Akanishi.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
-
Kame's way of protecting me was really stupid. We got in his shiny car (he'd gotten all his money from betting against hicks at the batting cages and kicking their asses for decades) and he drove me away from Forks, hoping that Nakamaru and the other guys wouldn't catch my scent.
He drove me all the way to Arizona which was just as fuck-all boring as Washington to tell you the truth. I wanted to go to LA or New York, but he said that vampires hated the desert because it was like one big herpes outbreak trigger for their glittery goodness.
But then Kame was concerned about the AP test like a dick, and he drove back to Forks and left me alone. Not like I gave a shit about the AP test because I was kind of over study abroad at that point. So I was stuck in Arizona, and he had been cruel enough to request that access to the adult channels in the room be blocked because I was underage. He was so lucky that making out with him was great because that was some unforgivable shit right there.
The hotel room phone rang, and I answered. “Hey! It's Junno, you know, the vampire?”
The tall one. “Yeah, I remember you.”
“Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I don't want to toe this friendship not friendship line with Kamenashi any more. Do you see the ankle I'm getting at here?”
“Uh, you're making foot references?”
“Funny right? Like I said ankle and you'd think I meant angle, but since I was talking about feet...”
“I'm going to hang up.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Junno paused. “Did you want to go watch some porn with me?”
Nishikido had always been right about me, it was true. Because I jumped at the chance and asked where and when I could meet Junno.
-
So yeah, it was totally a trap. But to be honest, if Kame had just let me have porn in the hotel room, I probably wouldn't have been so stupid. Junno met me at an abandoned mall, and I probably should have been able to figure out that there was no porn theater hidden in the back.
Junno tied me to a bench outside what had been a Benetton store and started videotaping me. “I'm going to send this to Kame. You know, I don't really have a problem with you personally, but he's just breaking rules by dating a human. I'm not really a stickler for that, but sometimes he gets so arrogant.”
“Oh, I know what you mean,” I said. “He's a prissy little bitch a lot.”
“Yeah,” Junno concurred. “He needs to be taught a lesson. He should stay with his own kind and just use your kind for food. Now I'm going to break your leg. No hard feelings?”
“Wait, what?”
He stepped on my leg right at the shin, and I heard the nastiest snapping sound and then the pain was ridiculously intense. Like it was some crazy stuff you see in movies, but it struck home that I really was in danger. I cried, I don't feel any shame in admitting that. It hurt, okay?
“Dude!” I screamed.
“You see that, Kame?” Junno said to the video camera, recording my suffering. “Humans don't have a leg to stand on. Haha! Get it?”
I was too busy clutching my leg. What the everloving fuck? I didn't have any American health insurance. Did study abroad cover this shit? Junno raised his giant shoe again, and I winced, only until I heard the glass of the atrium break and in came Kamenashi, all jazz hands and gayness as he landed on the ground.
“Well thank god,” I complained. “This asshole broke my leg!”
Kamenashi looked furious. And not the kind of furious that he got when I asked him to blow me during the middle of chem class. This was an all new level of furious.
Junno dropped the video camera. “But I bought the tape and everything so I could send it to you! Now it's just lame!”
“Taguchi, you broke my soulmate's leg.”
“Kame,” I said, “can you please stop calling me that? It's embarrassing...”
“Look, Kame, seriously,” Junno pleaded as the two of them started to circle each other like the bloodthirsty predators they were. “You're breaking all the laws of being a vampire. Let's just drink this guy, okay? Because it would be bloody tasty. Right? See, bloody as in actual blood but when the British use bloody they...”
I nearly pissed myself when Kame suddenly pulled a stake from inside his coat and threw it at Junno's chest like a tomahawk. It hit its mark, and Junno collapsed, gurgling.
“You might want to look away, Jin. I have to break his neck and burn the body.”
“That's fine,” I said, looking away and focusing on the ridiculous amount of pain I was in. Since it wasn't exactly going away. My leg was fucking broken after all. “And if we can hit up a hospital in the next few hours, it would be great.”
I heard Kame say “I'm sorry, Taguchi” and then I heard the crack and the flick of the lighter. I passed out from the pain. Sorry I'm so lame.
-
I was out of the hospital within the week, and Chief Swan didn't think it was weird at all that I'd broken my leg. He thought I was kind of an idiot. Why did people always get that impression about me? Either way, it was the night of that lame ass Turnabout dance, and somehow in a Vicodin-induced stupor I'd agreed to attend the dance with Kame.
I was hobbling around on my crutches as Kame parked, and Yamapi showed up like a total fucking stalker. Luckily, he was cool, so I didn't mind. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “This dance is lame. The theme is Justin Bieber Forever, after all.”
Pi nodded. “Yeah, that's pretty stupid. But I just gotta ask you, man. Why Kame? I told you to stay away.”
“I honestly can't explain it. I just feel it,” I told him.
“Well,” Pi said, looking like I'd killed a kitten in front of him or something. “I'm disappointed. And I'm not going to leave you alone about this. I'm going to watch out for you.”
Kame approached, giving Pi a dirty look as he walked up. I thought I heard Pi make some kind of growly dog noise, but I was still on the painkillers so it was probably just my imagination. We'd all been in America too long, seen too much weird shit.
Kame escorted me into the dance but we stayed separate from everyone else on account of us being two dudes attending the dance together in a Republican-voting county.
“I can't stand you,” Kamenashi told me as we stood in the gazebo together, looking at the stars. “But I'll protect you and care about you forever.”
“You are one strange motherfucker,” I said, taking out the cigarettes I'd stolen from Chief Swan when he was off at work. “I like you.”
Kame lit my cigarette and snatched one for himself. “I'm not having sex with you tonight, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” I took a drag of my cigarette. But I would have sex with him, I vowed. Someday.
-
And of course, I didn't see him then, but that crazy vampire Koki walked off into the moonlight vowing revenge. Or something. But that story's for another day.