Second Time Around, 5/5
His shining moment was finally here. Aiba Masaki, Tokyo veterinarian, was having lunch with Mizuhara Kiko, world-famous model. Jun may as well have been somewhere else that day, for all that they were including him in their conversation. Aiba had been a fan for a long time, and even his girlfriend had granted her approval (provided she received an autograph). Schedules had just never matched up before, but today was Aiba’s day. Jun didn’t like using his connection with Kiko to score points with other people, but he supposed Aiba didn’t really count.
Kiko was completely charmed by him, asking to see photos of Aiba’s “patients” and then squealing in delight as he pulled out his phone and started showing her the cats and dogs he helped. In exchange, Kiko informed him that her mother had just adopted a labradoodle, whatever that was, and promised Aiba that she would tell her mother to choose Shimura Animal Hospital for the dog’s check-ups.
The pair of them spent almost the entire time talking about dogs, from the cutest breeds to which had the smelliest farts, leaving Jun feeling like an unwanted middleman. Soon after dessert, Aiba and Kiko were taking pictures together with his phone, and he finally felt the need to intervene. “I may not be your manager anymore, but I wouldn’t trust him not to put that online.”
“Hey!” Aiba protested, “I can totally be trusted!”
“And we’re just sticking our tongues out at the camera,” Kiko continued. “Besides, my agency could sue him for posting things without my permission.”
“Right?” Aiba said. “Like I want to get sued!”
Jun rolled his eyes, laughing at the pair of them. Soon enough Aiba was having Kiko record a message, saying hello to his girlfriend Asami and talking complete nonsense. “Hey, hey, Kiko-chan, can you do any impressions? Asami would die!” “Oh, I’d love to!” “Can I show you my impressions too?” “Sure!”
Jun slapped his credit card down for the waiter to take, knowing he’d made a real mistake, helping these two weirdos become buddies. Finally, they were wrapping things up, and Kiko clasped her hands together, looking at Aiba with shiny eyes.
“Aiba-sensei, I owe you a great deal of thanks for helping my Nii-san.”
Aiba blushed, waving his hand. “Oh, it was no trouble at all. He was a great help to us…”
Kiko, upon finding out that Jun’s previous job had been where Aiba worked, was still mad at him for not telling her when she could have been sneaking over to visit the pets that owners had boarding there while they went on vacation. “Nii-san is the best, isn’t he?”
Aiba wrapped an arm around Jun, shaking him in a way that he had to know would annoy him. “He helped me meet you!”
“So that’s why I thought I owed it to Nii-san to help him in return.” Jun, confused, turned to see Kiko watching him with a surprising seriousness. “I’ve been talking with some people I trust. In the industry, I mean, and there’s a position that hasn’t been officially announced yet because I’ve arranged it so they meet you first.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What position? What are you talking about?”
“It’s nothing like Sweet Apple,” Kiko said hurriedly. “The agency has only been around a few years, but they’ve got this sort of AKB rival group that’s about to debut, and they’re looking for people with expertise managing younger, impulsive stars. Teen girls in a nutshell, right? Well, I told them that you got a hold of me when I was nineteen and stupid and whipped me into shape, so who better?”
Jun’s heart was racing. “Kiko-chan, hold on…”
She reached forward, squeezing his hand with hope in her eyes. “Nii-san, they know about Sweet Apple. They know and believe that you did nothing wrong. They want to meet you. They think you’d be great, and I know it would make you happy. It would annoy the hell out of you, but I think that’s what you liked about it.”
A job? In the industry again? The blacklisting that had kept him unhappy for months vanishing because Kiko had gone above and beyond to vouch for him? The fast-paced world full of highs and lows that had been such a part of his life since he was a kid?
“That sounds awesome!” Aiba cheered. “What’s the agency?”
Kiko looked so thrilled, Jun couldn’t help but be drawn in. “They’re called Rainbow Star, and they’re based in Fukuoka.”
-
When he’d told Sho that it was fine to leave a few changes of clothes at his apartment, Jun wished he could have been more specific. Because it wasn’t exactly enticing to sit beside Sho on his couch watching TV, Sho with a bowl of ice cream in hand and wearing a neon pink “Sakurai Medical Supply Company Picnic 2012” t-shirt with a pair of threadbare sweatpants. The same Sho who wore designer label suits and TAG Heuer watches could look like this. Now that things between them had grown comfortable, now that concepts like closet space or the spare drawer had come into play, Sho had decided to let Jun find out how much of a slack-off he could be.
“This city in Aomori Prefecture is home to a one quarter scale replica of the Statue of Liberty.”
Sho gestured to the TV with his spoon, droplets of ice cream falling back into his bowl. “Oirase!”
After a few seconds, a contestant on the quiz show rang in, and the host called on him. “It’s Oirase!”
“That’s correct!” the host announced, the audience cheering.
Sho nodded his head, proud of himself.
“How the hell did you know that?” Jun asked.
Sho shoved another spoonful of chocolate swirl past his lips, letting the spoon linger for a moment. “I’ve been there.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I was up in Hachinohe for business once. Took in some local color.”
“You’re weird.”
Sho turned, grinning. “I think you like that about me.”
He stuck out his finger, poking at the corner of Sho’s lip where a smear of chocolate lingered. He stuck his finger in his mouth and gave it a suck. “Go clean yourself up. I want to go to bed.”
Sho scowled. “It’s only 9:30 and the show’s not over and…” His eyebrows lifted the slightest bit. “Ah, you don’t mean sleep, do you?”
Jun gave him a little smack on the back of the head. “Keio University will give a degree to anyone, it seems.”
Sho laughed. “You’re in a mood, aren’t you? Alright, alright, let me at least finish my ice cream.”
Jun really was in a mood. A bad one. A nervous one. A frightened one. He’d left his lunch with Aiba and Kiko almost in a daze, hearing “Fukuoka” over and over again. The perfect job, a job where they sounded like they really wanted him, but at the other end of the country. He hadn’t mentioned it to Sho yet, mostly because he didn’t know what to do.
His immediate thought, as soon as Kiko had said Fukuoka, had been to dismiss the opportunity. He had a new job and he actually did like it quite a bit. And obviously, a job in Fukuoka couldn’t compare to a life with Sho in Tokyo, sweatpants not withstanding. But then he’d thought about it more, hours of pros and cons, his mind getting more active than his heart, wondering if he was really going to pass up the chance.
What would they pay him? What would his responsibilities entail? And would he hate himself later if he turned it down without even finding out the answers to these questions? Work, Sho, work, Sho. What was he supposed to do? And Kiko-chan had probably been talking with these people for ages, telling them how eager he’d be to rejoin the industry. Rejecting it outright would hurt her feelings and maybe worse, they’d look down on her for talking Jun up so much but not delivering on it.
By the time they’d washed up, brushed their teeth, Sho coming into the bedroom in his ugly clothes, Jun had an idea. Something that he felt he needed, something he’d wanted for ages and could never articulate. He looked Sho in the eye, stopping him before Sho could even kiss him. They stood next to the bed, Sho in his fashion emergency attire and Jun in the boxer briefs he wore to bed because Sho said they hugged his butt best.
“Spank me.”
Sho was startled. “Wait…what?”
“You heard me,” he continued. “Spank me.”
He was keeping the job from Sho. By now, after this many months, it should have been automatic. He should have gotten home that night and immediately said “Sho-kun, we should talk” and yet here he was, worrying about it all alone, confused over what he ought to do. Taking the job would put him back in the glamorous life, would probably pay better than his admin position, could be a stepping stone into a larger agency later on once he’d gotten established again.
But being so far from Sho, when they were getting closer and closer with each passing day…it would hurt. Jun was absolutely certain it would be worse than reliving that night in the park over and over, Sho telling him days later that things between them were an impossible fantasy. How could he even consider walking away from what they had together, reconnecting after so many years apart? As each minute ticked by, each minute where he didn’t tell Sho what was bothering him, Jun was overwhelmed with the need for release. Not the simple reward of Sho’s lips around his cock, not the thought of Sho sitting in his lap riding him until they both collapsed in a heap of sweaty limbs.
He couldn’t tell Sho about the job, not yet, not until he thought it through more carefully. And because he was making that choice and making it alone, he knew he was doing something he shouldn’t. How that had turned into wanting to be spanked was just one of those things Jun accepted about himself. After so many years doling out “punishments,” whether with Nino or Ohno, he never got to see it from the other side. The thought of Sho doing something like that to him, Sho in complete and utter control, Sho punishing him and not even knowing the cause…
“I don’t want to hit you,” Sho said quietly.
He smiled gently. “It’s not like that. Don’t think about it like that. I want you to do it.”
“Matsujun,” Sho continued, bringing his hand to his face. “But what if I hurt you?”
“Then I’ll say a word that will tell you to stop. And unless you hear it, you keep going.” Despite his guilty feelings, he met Sho’s eyes straight on. If he looked shifty or unsure, then he definitely couldn’t ask this of him. “You keep going.”
“You’re absolutely sure?”
He squeezed Sho’s hand. “I’m absolutely sure. You may find that you enjoy it.” He remembered the grumpy Sho of his teen years. Surely he could draw on that old well of arrogance again.
Settling on “Oirase” as the word of choice, Jun let Sho do things at his own pace. He let Sho kiss him for a short while, sensing that Sho was trying to put himself in the right mindset. Jun eventually pulled off his underwear, baring himself completely, and that went a long way to getting Sho interested. “Just spanking or…?”
“Up to you. Sho-kun, it’s up to you. Because you know I’d never turn down sex with you.”
The more control he placed into Sho’s hands, the more confidence it was giving him. “Alright,” Sho said. “Then…then get on your hands and knees. Now.”
He grinned, doing just as he was ordered. Sho’s growing erection was noticeable through his horrible sweats as he walked around the bed, taking in the sight of Jun there at his mercy, waiting for him to act. Sho teased him, standing by the side of the bed and dragging his fingers across his skin, exploiting Jun’s sensitivity, his ticklishness. He bit down hard on his lip as Sho touched him. Across his shoulder blades, down his spine, squeezing his ass.
“You’ve been naughty lately, haven’t you Matsujun?”
Jun held back a laugh. It was true wasn’t it, whether Sho knew it or not. “Yeah.”
The palm of Sho’s hand was on his ass, patting experimentally, light and tentative. “What’s that? I can’t hear when you’re mumbling.”
“Yes. I’ve been naughty.”
The sudden crack of Sho’s palm against his ass made him cry out in surprise. Sho was all in.
“Shouldn’t you apologize?”
“I’m sorry.”
The next strike came even faster, even harder, and he moaned. For all his hesitation, Sho was really fucking good at this. Was this what Ohno felt, when Jun had spanked him? The painful pleasure of it, reveling in it, relishing it? For some reason wanting more?
“Apologize properly.”
“I’m sorry, Sho-kun.”
Another smack, so hard he heard Sho let out a quiet hiss of pain. But then his voice was all business again. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry for being naughty.”
Sho got onto the bed, making Jun groan when he slipped his fingers between the cleft of his ass. “You should see what you look like right now. You’re shaking. The tough and stoic Matsumoto Jun.”
He was, but that was because he didn’t know what Sho would do next. Normally that uncertainty might be frightening, but he trusted Sho. He knew that Sho was being careful. When Sho teased a finger around his hole, he couldn’t help pushing his ass back, wanting him there.
The finger disappeared, and he earned himself another hit, this time to his other ass cheek. Sho was equal opportunity. “You think I’m that easy?” Sho said, and the longer Sho dragged it out, the huskier his voice got, sending ripples of pleasure through Jun each time he spoke. Sho smacked his ass again. “You think I’ll just fuck you and forget your punishment?”
Sho eventually switched hands, and Jun’s cock swelled more with each carefully targeted blow, hanging heavily between his legs and demanding release. Sho yanked his hair, pulling his head back. “I want you to count to five.”
“One…”
Sho punctuated Jun’s words with another smack, enough to make him groan, his arms shaking as he continued to hold himself up. “When you get to five, we’ll see what happens.”
“Two…”
From two to three to four, Jun cried out with each subsequent smack. But there was no way he was going to be screaming “Oirase.”
“Fuck me!” was Jun’s response to the blow Sho gave him upon reaching five. He almost collapsed onto the mattress, halfway between laughing and crying. Then Sho was moving, reaching for a condom and lube from Jun’s nightstand.
“This isn’t over,” Sho was saying, although it seemed to be taking everything he had to keep his voice steady as he slipped a finger inside him and soon it was two. Jun moaned, desperate to be fucked, knowing he probably had Sho’s palm prints on his ass marking him. Sho’s slickened fingers worked within him, fast and needy, the heel of his palm thudding against Jun’s sore skin with each little thrust. He wanted to come, so badly, but he figured it would be rude to give in to his own pleasure first. Instead of asking if he was ready, Jun just felt Sho’s fingers withdraw, heard him tearing open the condom wrapper.
He felt the warm press of Sho’s hand to the small of his back. Jun nodded, giving his permission, his reassurance. Then the indifferent, commanding demeanor returned. “You’re gonna take it. You’re gonna take everything I give you.”
“Yes. Please.”
Sho gave him another smack, but not as hard as earlier. “The phrase I’m looking for is actually ‘Sho-san, I want you to fuck me in the ass.’”
“Sho-kun…” Jun said deliberately, hiding a smile and earning himself another smack. “Sho-san, I want you to fuck me in the ass.”
Clearly the whole situation had turned Sho on like crazy because there was no hesitation. It felt so damn good, even with his skin throbbing, with the demanding push of Sho’s thick cock into his hole. This was the first time, Jun realized, that they weren’t facing each other, and yet he knew Sho was there. He could feel Sho, he could smell Sho, the sweaty neediness of him mingled with Jun’s own sweat.
Sho was behind him, burying himself deep and letting out grunts of pleasure that made Jun cry out, beg for more. Sho had him by the hips, pulling Jun back against him, each thrust more powerful than the ones before it.
“I’ve been so bad, Sho-san, I’m sorry.”
Sho moaned, his fingers digging into Jun’s skin. Eventually Sho was too far gone to maintain his persona, letting out whispers of nothing but “fuck, fuck, fuck” before nearly knocking Jun over, coming with a husky, wordless cry. When Sho pulled out he didn’t go far.
“I want you to come all over yourself,” Sho said. “Do it.”
Before he could turn over, to get on his back and touch himself, he felt another crack of Sho’s hand against his ass and he gasped.
“You don’t get to fucking choose how to do it. Get off like this.”
He moaned a little, still on his hands and knees, instead having to lean forward, putting his weight onto one arm and almost mashing his face against the mattress. It had the added effect of making him stick his ass up, which he figured was Sho’s intention. He awkwardly got his hand between his legs, slicking himself down with pre-come. He was filthy, smelling like sweat mixed with the latex from Sho’s condom, lube dripping from him.
He jerked himself hard, gasping Sho’s name. He was almost drooling against the sheets, feeling a few more helpful smacks of Sho’s palm. Then Sho’s fingers were slipping back into him easily, fucking him relentlessly, right there, right there, two fingers, three, teasing and stroking his prostate until he fell apart, not caring a bit as spurts of come hit the sheets, coated his fingers and abdomen.
He turned onto his side, breathing heavily, limbs shaking for a few moments. Sho had never made him come like this before. He saw Sho watching him, odd understanding in his eyes.
“Sho-kun?”
His smile was a bit sad as he wiped himself down with a washcloth. “I heard about your lunch from Aiba-sensei. He’d been bragging about it on email this afternoon and he told me…other things.”
Jun panicked, unable to speak. This entire time? This entire time Sho had…
“You have to take the interview, okay?” He nodded firmly. “I’m not mad at you.”
He shook his head. “Why didn’t you…?”
Sho shook his head. “…say anything? I figured you would tell me eventually. I trust you, Matsujun. And I know you, I know how you think, so I knew you had your reasons for not saying anything tonight. But then you went and asked me to spank you, out of nowhere I might add, so I had a pretty good idea what you were upset about.”
“Sho-kun…” He didn’t deserve him.
“We’ll talk later. Right now we should probably wash these sheets.” Sho grinned. “You’re a fucking mess.”
-
Sho used his frequent flyer status to get them two tickets to Fukuoka on a Saturday morning, since the agency had been understanding enough to let Jun come by on a weekend. It had been an intense flight, Jun wondering why Sho was doing all this for him. Why Sho would go to all this trouble to get him to an interview for a job that would pretty much mean they’d have to go long-distance or, more likely, that they’d just have to split up.
If Sho was upset or nervous, he was hiding it well as they left the airport, as they took a cab to the offices of Rainbow Star Associates. Sho had said to call him when he was done, that he had a few places he wanted to check and get some Hakata ramen, that he’d go to the place with the longest line so that he’d probably be wrapping things up at the same time as Jun’s interview.
Jun sat in the reception area, tapping his foot. The office was full of professional headshots, each labeled with the name of one of the teen girls who’d soon be debuting with Star-Girls, their new group. He’d looked at all of them already - Mayumi, age 16. Rena, age 15. Satsuki, age 17. Jun remembered how it had felt at Johnny’s when a debut was expected. Rumors about who it would be, how many members the group would have. Would it be the most popular kids? The ones who danced best? Sang best? Friends would vow to quit together if one debuted and the other didn’t, though he’d seen his share of broken promises.
For the longest time, Jun had wanted to debut with Sho. Dancing in Johnny’s, it was fun, but a debut meant something long-lasting. Instead of dancing and singing at Sho’s side every other show, wearing oversized reject costumes from the juniors bin together as they danced behind their seniors, being in their own group meant that they’d always work together. That they could be introduced together. That the songs they released were only possible because of both of them. He’d been such a dreamer, imagining that together with whoever else was put in their group, they could plan the best concert Japan had ever seen. Maybe the world.
Once Sho had left, once Sho had vanished from Jun’s life, debut seemed like a more frightening concept. The fans would see his face plastered on billboards. They’d follow him everywhere. And Jun, he definitely couldn’t be open about liking guys. All of those things would have been true had it been him and Sho, but somehow, it would have worked. He’d been so sure of it.
Jun had loved being in entertainment, smiling and performing. He loved singing, even if his voice was somewhere between mediocre and severely lacking. He loved dancing, even though other kids were better. He didn’t have any special skills to bring to the table - songwriting or the ability to play an instrument. But he’d still been lucky, chosen when so many others had been rejected. But when he’d quit, he’d felt…relieved.
As he reminisced, as he peeled back the years, he wondered if Mayumi and Rena and Satsuki and the others loved what they did, as Rainbow Star trainees. What skills did they have? Did they actually want to debut or did they prefer staying out of the spotlight? And then Jun had a sobering thought. Were any of these girls desperate to debut with a friend? What would happen if they debuted and their friend didn’t? What would happen if their friend just up and quit?
Because Jun knew what that pain felt like. But he also knew that a manager couldn’t be overly sympathetic. A manager could only do his job, shuttling her from job to job, keeping her schedule, making sure she remembered to smile no matter what she was feeling. Because she was in entertainment. She had a role to play in making the fans happy. She had to save her tears for her own private time, which would certainly dwindle if she debuted in the first place.
Sitting there, imagining telling Mayumi or Rena or Satsuki, a high school girl, to just suck it up and keep going, to dance and sing and smile, he realized that he didn’t want to do it. Kiko had always been independent, had always pushed back a little. These girls could be replaced, and they probably knew it. Rainbow Star was probably not like Sweet Apple, but at the end of the day, the reason they debuted groups was to make money.
He was escorted into the interview room and spent nearly two hours speaking with a handful of executives. He went over his experience, they told him what they expected. Sweet Apple and Kiko and the drugs came up, but they were curious rather than judgmental. He went through the motions, offering good answers but not great ones. He was friendly and charming as he could be, but the longer he sat there, listening to their pens scratching paper, he wanted what he’d always wanted.
He’d wanted to debut, but he’d wanted to debut with Sho. He wanted a job he loved, but he probably wouldn’t love this one and to convince himself otherwise would be delusional. Sakurai Medical Supply wasn’t very interesting, but he was respected. He was treated well, and he was challenged. He was luckier than most on top of that. He technically worked with Sho. Sure, they weren’t dropping singles and music videos, but they were part of a big “group.” Together.
Sitting there, imagining Sho across town slurping noodles and getting broth splatters on his t-shirt, Jun realized that it was impossible.
It was impossible to be without him.
He barely registered the interviewers telling him they’d call him soon, leaving the offices in a daze. Was it too soon to feel this way? No, his gut was telling him what he wanted and he’d always trusted it. He told Sho to meet him at the hotel they’d booked for the night, taking a taxi instead of waiting for the train so he could get there faster.
Sho was already in the room, and when Jun walked in, setting down his case, he saw that Sho had arranged three different take-away bowls on the desk for him covered in plastic wrap. “Um, so I only went to one ramen place and had the rest of these delivered so we could try them together instead. Some of them might be cold. But they all had really good reviews on Yelp so if you’re hungry…”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jun walked up and nearly knocked Sho over with the force of his kiss, steadying him with a possessive hand to the small of his back. He kissed Sho with everything he had, everything he’d always had. A gap of fifteen years, it was nothing when something was this right, this necessary.
“Wow,” Sho mumbled nervously. “That hungry, huh, Matsujun? You’re welcome. Okay, this first one is a shoyu ramen from a place called…”
Jun startled him, taking his face between his hands. “Look at me.”
Sho did so, looking terrified. “What? What happened?”
He let Sho go, hearing him gasp when he unbuttoned his suit jacket and tore off the first button he got his fingers on. He held it out, knowing he looked like a lunatic. Not to mention the horror his tailor would feel when he brought it in for mending. But sometimes he got a little too theatrical.
“If you take it,” he said, voice shaky, “then I won’t take the job here.”
“Matsujun,” Sho murmured.
He pressed the button against Sho’s chest, against his heart, holding it there with two fingers. “I love you. I need you to know that I love you.”
Sho’s eyes widened. “This job, I can’t make this choice for you.”
“You’re the only choice. Sho-kun, you’re the only choice for me. But I need to know if you feel the same way.”
Sho looked down, at Jun’s fingers holding the button there. Jun thought he saw a bashful smile cross his face. “You’re so dramatic.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“‘You’re the only choice, Sho-kun,’” Sho parroted back to him. “That’s a lot to take in, you know, I thought…I thought we would just eat and fool around tonight, that all the momentous decision-making could come once these people called you back…”
“Sho-kun, they could offer me my own agency and I won’t take it if I can’t be with you.”
Sho moved his hand, closing it around Jun’s and squeezing firmly. Their eyes met again, and he was surprised to see tears in Sho’s. Now who was dramatic? When Sho moved forward, kissing him, he felt his fingers slip through and take the button from him. Sho leaned his forehead against his, exhaling heavily.
“You’re the only choice for me, too,” Sho admitted. “By the way, this is going to be the most awkward ramen eating experience of my life now.”
The tension broke, and Jun laughed, bending over and resting his hand on the bed, relieved. Sho rubbed his back affectionately.
“You’re so cute,” Sho told him, giving the button in his hand a little kiss. “It’s what I’ve always loved about you.”
And with that, Jun knew he’d made the right decision.
-
“I thought it would be different,” Sho said, looking around the living room while he held his glass of beer in his hand.
“What, you thought there would be fuzzy handcuffs under track lighting and foot-long dildos suction-cupped to the wall?” Nino snickered, pouring beer into Jun’s glass.
Sho was mortified. “No, no, I just meant…” He inclined his head. “Okay, maybe I did have some weird expectations.”
“It’s okay, Sakurai-kun,” Ohno said. “We always take them down when guests come over.”
Jun rolled his eyes, giving Ohno a shove. “I cannot believe we’ve only been here fifteen minutes, and you’re already starting this shit.”
Nino pointed directly at Sho. “It’s his fault. Blame him!”
Sho patted himself on the back of the head apologetically. “Yeah, I guess I asked for it.”
Jun had never been to a celebratory dinner of this sort before. Because it was a dinner meant to “celebrate” Jun officially turning down the position in Fukuoka in favor of staying in Tokyo, and obviously, with Sho.
Now that Jun had confessed the full extent of his feelings, now that he’d confirmed that he was committed to their relationship, Sho had gotten increasingly weird. He found excuses to come upstairs at work, to ask about “Takenaka-san’s schedule” when he just wanted to say hello or sneak a kiss from him. He pulled another SK Enterprises box from his bedroom closet shelf, still a little embarrassed to ask but not the least bit ashamed of his acquisitions - a BDSM “kit for beginners” that included a blindfold, some nylon rope, and some soft cuffs.
And for all that Sho told Jun that he was cute, Sho had become astonishingly affectionate. Jun would be on the brink of sleep, curled up on his side in Sho’s bed, and he’d feel warm breath beside his ear. “You’re amazing,” Sho would whisper, saying nothing else before moving back to his side of the bed. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.” “You’re everything that makes me happy.” Little things that he was too embarrassed to say face to face, in the light. Little things that he’d probably clarify, in the light, by saying “well, aside from Saya-chan…”
But Jun didn’t mind. There was something incredible about falling asleep beside Sho and knowing, simply knowing, that he’d wake up and still find him there beside him.
He’d had his official “getting to know you” dinner with Satomi the other night, something he thought would have been incredibly awkward, but instead it had been really nice. She was a good cook, something that Satomi joked had “kept Sho in their marriage” longer than was appropriate. That the two of them could joke that way, that the two of them were committed to raising their child together with little drama, Jun admired them for it.
Yamashita, Satomi’s boyfriend (Saya-chan’s beloved “Tomo-san”) attended as well, mostly to make things less awkward for Jun. “Meeting Sho-san like this the first time, I thought I was being interrogated by the police,” Yamashita had said, offering a friendly smile as he poured beer for everyone. He was an old high school friend of Satomi’s who currently worked as an architect in some prestigious firm.
“Anyone spending time around my daughter gets the full interrogation,” Sho said snippily, though with a twinkle in his eye. Jun was being treated no differently, and he’d spent the evening answering questions about his past, just because Satomi, like Sho had been with Yamashita, wanted to know more about the man who’d be spending so much time with Sayaka moving forward. It had made Jun feel an extraordinary responsibility, but it had also made him feel all the more important to Sho.
The doorbell rang.
“That would be the food,” Nino said, getting to his feet. Ohno followed him to the door. The two of them were usually too lazy to cook, which meant that they’d ordered in from a place down the street. Sho, who ate just about anything he was presented, was perfectly fine with the arrangement.
Jun leaned over, resting his palm on Sho’s thigh as they sat together in Ohno and Nino’s living room. Months earlier, Jun had been lonely, unfulfilled. Desperately trying to move forward as the world piled on rejection after rejection. He had friends. He had Ohno, he had Nino, he had Aiba. He had Kiko-chan. But happiness, true happiness, had remained elusive. All it had taken for his entire world to change was the arrival of one cat in the waiting room of the Shimura Animal Hospital.
Had he and Sho been fated to reconnect? He wasn’t sure he believed that, but he appreciated it all the same. When Jun was 17, he’d been told that being with Sho, being close to Sho…it was impossible. But that was then. That was history. And Jun was way more interested in the future than in the past.
Sho looked at him, looking a little nervous. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” Jun said, grinning. “I just like you.”
Sho blushed a little, having a sip of beer. “So you’ve said.”
He brushed a kiss to Sho’s cheek. “I don’t plan to stop.”
“I’m going to vomit on both of you,” Nino announced, entering the room with the take-out bags. “World record projectile vomit.”
“I think they’re cute,” Ohno said, smiling.
When their hosts were cleaning up a while later, this time Sho leaned over and kissed him. When he pulled away, Jun saw determination in his eyes that made his heart pound. Sho twined their fingers, squeezing tight.
“Matsujun, I don’t plan to stop either.”