Second Time Around, 1/5
Title: Second Time Around
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Sakumoto (endgame) with Matsumiya, Juntoshi, Ohmiya (implied) as well as assorted cameos/participation from several others.
Summary: For Matsumoto Jun, happiness has been hard to come by lately. His work is unfulfilling and he craves a permanent, meaningful relationship. When someone from his past reappears, could it be the start of something new?
Notes/Warnings: For kitto_slutparty. Two characters own an erotic store and try out what they sell. Also, Sho is a dad. These two things have nothing to do with one another, btw, I just figured warning for sex toys and children covers all my bases depending on what scares a reader away. As far as the sex goes, there’s some very light BDSM-type activity that occurs, namely face slapping and spanking (completely consensual).
Ohno plucked a stray black cat hair off of Jun’s sleeve, chuckling under his breath. “Rough day at the office?” he asked, pinching the hair between his fingers briefly before letting it fall to the floor of the shop.
Jun self-consciously brushed his hand against his sleeve, in case more of Takoyaki’s fur had gotten on him. Takoyaki, a four year old black and white cat and the last animal they had in that day, had shed like crazy, blanketing the office from the front door to the exam rooms. Usually Jun caught everything with his lint roller before heading out for the day, but the office had closed early that afternoon because Shimura-sensei had just started instituting “Half Day Fridays.”
“Every day is a rough day at the office,” he grumbled, jerking away from Ohno’s poking, prodding fingers in favor of standing behind Nino, who hadn’t budged from his place in front of his laptop even though Jun had dropped by. Nino had been furiously typing, then stopping, then typing again for the better part of twenty minutes, had acknowledged Jun with little more than a nod since he arrived.
He looked at the website coding Nino had before him. He was composing the text for a new product page. “They don’t all have to be essays, do they? I mean, between a picture and product specifications, people ought to know what they’re getting…”
This finally got Nino to budge, hunched over as he was. He turned to look up at Jun, offering a cynical smile. “For someone like you groomed from a young age to entertain, you certainly have no concept of how retail works. People can go to any other page to buy this stuff, but mine is fun. Mine’s meant to make everything sound like a must-buy!”
He swallowed down Nino’s oh-so-casual reminder of everything Jun had given up, shaking his head. “How much do you really have to say about a butt plug?”
Nino leaned back in his chair a bit, wrapping an arm around him, circling Jun’s thighs. “Pluggie-san resents your implication that he’s the same as all the rest.” Nino lifted the toy from the countertop beside his computer, poking at the plastic packaging encasing it. “We have something for everyone. It’s our selling point.”
Jun felt that he’d had this conversation with Nino a hundred times over the last few years. Ninomiya Kazunari had not followed the typical path of the “former idol,” that was for damn sure. He’d quit Johnny’s at twenty, circling around odd jobs like pizza delivery scooter driver and a brief stint at a bank before going into business with a friend. Seven years ago, SK Enterprises had been founded, an erotic shop that sold sex toys and every flavor of pornographic film under the sun.
Nino and his business partner, Ohno Satoshi, maintained random business hours that suited them. A few hours on a Tuesday morning, a Thursday afternoon. Ninety-six percent of their sales came from online anyhow since they prided themselves on discretion, opting for the innocuous SK Enterprises name over any sort of sexual innuendo. They saved that for their company website, which Nino mostly wrote himself - from product reviews to promotional offers. His partner, Ohno, did more of the nitty-gritty, pulling items from the stock room and packaging them up for customers, biking over to the post office to ship things out in plain, discreet boxes.
Jun had met Nino when they were thirteen, both of them dancing in the back and mostly out of sight back then, and here they were almost twenty years later, still friends and neither of them in the futures they’d planned. Nino was a lifelong pragmatist, though, taking things as they came along. He hadn’t dreamed of being the owner of a sex shop as a kid, but it “paid the bills” and he had no real ambition to try anything else since SK was doing well. Jun, on the other hand…Jun’s life took him further and further from his dreams with each passing day, with each stray cat hair he found on his sleeve, with each nervous hamster that pissed on him.
Ohno disappeared into the stock room while Jun watched Nino type out the additional selling points of “Pluggie-san,” among them that the silicone material was safe for people sensitive to chemicals and that the bullet vibe that could be fitted inside the plug provided “unmatched sensations that’ll make your toes curl.”
“You still down for tonight?” Nino asked, turning over the package so he could add Pluggie-san’s measurements to the web design program he had open.
He nodded. “Sure.”
Socializing, even in the Nino and Ohno meanings of the word, was a better way to spend an evening than combing job boards and tweaking one of the seventy-two different cover letters he had saved in the “Job Search” folder on his own computer. That and binge watching depressing Scandinavian murder mysteries had filled his evenings of late, and Jun was tired of it.
Jun was tired of a lot of things. At least Nino’s company would be a welcome distraction from reality. But in the back of his head, Jun sometimes feared that he relied too heavily on Nino’s distractions and Ohno’s distractions. He sometimes feared that if he let things continue as they were, he’d never dig himself out.
Ohno re-emerged from the back room, a small plastic bottle in tow. “This is the one you wanted, right?” Ohno asked, setting it down on the counter. They’d settled into such a comfortable routine, the three of them, that the presentation of the night’s “challenge item” no longer held much anticipation. Well, at least it didn’t for Jun.
Nino eyeballed it quickly, scratching his chin and nodding before turning back to his code. “That’s the one.”
Ohno picked it up again, squinting a little at the dark blue bottle. “You know this is made for ladies, right?”
“Is that jealousy I’m hearing?” Nino shot back, not even looking away from his screen.
Ohno’s round, gentle face grew a little pinker. “Of course not. Like I want to try your girly lube.”
Jun started moving, not really in the mood to listen to the snippy little argument that was due to break out any moment. His life was already too weird, sitting in this tiny store, the wall behind him lined with dildos in every color of the rainbow. “Come by around 8:00 and I’ll have dinner ready,” he said, heading for the exit.
Nino just lifted his hand, waving goodbye without looking at him. He caught Ohno’s wry little smile before he pushed the frosted glass door open, emerging into Dogenzaka. He walked past bars, past love hotels that wouldn’t open their doors for a few hours yet. Just another anonymous face in a sea of humanity flowing to and from Shibuya Station. Sleepwalking through another day, waiting for his fortunes to improve.
-
Nino had shown up half an hour late without an explanation, toting the blue plastic bottle in a tan paper bag, showing up at Jun’s apartment door in the same ratty jeans, green beanie, and “Do we got problem?” pink t-shirt he’d been wearing at the shop. He seldom put in any additional effort. By now, Jun figured their situation was routine, that Nino felt no need to treat it as anything more than it was.
He and Nino had been fucking around on and off for six years now, once they’d reconnected and Nino had introduced him to SK Enterprises. At first, it had been something that made sense because neither of them wanted to be tied down by a serious relationship. They’d both known, even as teenagers, what sex they preferred in a partner, but neither of them had acted on it back then. It had just been sex, to start, but Nino, ever the savvy entrepreneur, had been the one to suggest mixing business and pleasure.
And thus they had nights like tonight, where Nino would show up at Jun’s apartment with something from SK in tow. Nino refused to sell anything that he or Ohno hadn’t tried themselves, and the two of them had discovered years ago that they weren’t the most sexually compatible with some of the stuff they stocked. Nino and Ohno both preferred to be the submissive party when it came to bedroom activities, which made it hard for the pair of them to try out bondage gear and likeminded items together. So they came to Jun.
Nino came to Jun with a desire for a free meal and was grateful that Jun didn’t mind if he mostly skipped over a post-coital cuddle or cigarette in favor of taking out his phone and jotting down notes for his eventual product write-up or review for the SK homepage. Jun had long grown used to the sight of Nino in his bed or on his sofa, cross-legged, naked, his slim body dripping with sweat as he typed emails to himself. It was fucked up, probably, but even an uptight person like Jun (Nino’s words, not his own) got over it quickly because it was preferable to have someone else around instead of jacking off alone.
It was a few years into Nino and Jun’s arrangement before Ohno felt brave enough to inquire about an arrangement of his own. Ohno, shy but unable to hide it any longer, had simply shown up at Jun’s one night with a ball gag and a hopeful look in his eyes. “Kazunari says it’s okay,” Ohno had said, running a hand through his short, spiky hair nervously as he stood in Jun’s genkan that night. “He says it’s okay, so…” And that had been the start of that.
It was once a week, usually, Ohno and Nino switching off depending on what new item they wanted to try with Jun. They rarely came by together, if only because until recently Jun hadn’t had the time and energy for it. Not when they were always bringing things that took effort, trust, and negotiation. Jun hadn’t had a normal sex life in more than half a decade, but it hadn’t been a big deal before. His job had run him ragged, but he’d still been able to get laid, no strings attached. He hadn’t had to resort to cruising through bars, hadn’t had to swipe his way through apps in hopes of finding someone. With Nino and Ohno, it wasn’t forever, it wasn’t more than it was, but at least he wasn’t alone.
Jun came back from the kitchen after washing dishes to find that Nino had switched off the movie they’d been watching in favor of opening Jun’s laptop and logging into one of the many porn sites he was a member of. “Got a preference?” Nino asked in his almost indifferent manner, having shucked off his jeans at some point while Jun had been scrubbing their plates. His bony knees were flush against the coffee table, seated as he was on the edge of Jun’s sofa cushion, finger swishing back and forth across Jun’s trackpad.
Jun sat beside him, still fully dressed as he picked up the blue bottle. Satin Sheets lubricant, the bottle informed him. Apparently the stuff wasn’t just for keeping things slick during sex. It was a lubricant designed for daily use by a woman with dryness issues, not that Jun knew a whole lot about that specific part of a woman’s anatomy, seeing as how he’d never been with one. Porn wasn’t exactly a reliable guidebook. “In honor of tonight’s product,” Jun said, twisting off the cap, “we should probably watch something with a woman in it.”
“To honor the spirit of the product, I see,” Nino said with a gentle laugh, scratching an itch on his thigh and skimming the website. “Can you get off to lesbians or do you need a dick in the picture at some point?”
Jun laughed. Nino rarely brought in the adult videos from the shop to watch with him. That was more Ohno’s territory. “I can get off to lesbians.”
“An open-minded soul, that’s why we love you, Jun-pon,” Nino teased, reading through some of the video descriptions.
Tonight was an easy night. He and Nino had tested at least a dozen kinds of lubricant before, and they’d both had a big dinner (Jun had been in full-on chef mode that evening), so they’d opted to just sample the new product by jerking off together. Once Nino had a video playing, two attractive women getting things started by making out topless, Jun got up from the couch and went to grab some towels and tissue from the bathroom.
There was an almost clinical detachment to the way Nino took the bath towel from his hand, positioning it under his ass as he sat back further on Jun’s sofa. For his part, Jun took his time watching the video on the small laptop screen, eventually unzipping his jeans and shoving them down to his ankles. He was only halfway hard when Nino leaned forward, ditching his t-shirt and his hat and reaching for the bottle. Jun couldn’t help watching as Nino squeezed some of the lube into his palm.
“It smells nice,” Nino remarked, sniffing it a little before moving to his cock and slicking it down.
“Smells like aloe vera,” Jun commented.
“All natural ingredients, Earth friendly,” Nino said, leaning back and starting to stroke himself lazily. “You probably don’t need that much, this is too much.”
Jun looked over, saw that a little of the stuff went a long way, holding back a chuckle at the slippery mess Nino now had to contend with between his legs. Even with the women in the video ramping up their activities, one of the women parting her partner’s thighs to kiss and lick with great enthusiasm, Jun was preoccupied.
He was thirty-two years old. It was a Friday night, he was in the beginning stages of jerking off to lesbian porn, and his living room smelled like the linguini they’d eaten mixed with aloe vera. Come Monday, he’d once again be in the offices of Shimura-sensei, enduring Aiba’s gentle words of encouragement, listening to dogs howl in the waiting room while he wrote up appointment reminder emails.
For years, Matsumoto Jun had been a talent. He’d never debuted, but he’d had fans. He’d appeared on TV, had danced behind his seniors in concerts. And when that had ended, he’d gone to the other side, to management. He’d been in the celebrity world for more than half his life, and now here he was, almost a year gone from it, and what did he have to show for it? Rejections that he put through his paper shredder to keep from re-reading them over and over, job applications littering his computer in various stages of completion, scheduled nights in which he fucked his friends and they rarely stayed over because then it might actually mean something (heaven forbid).
It was shit. His life was shit, and even with someone sitting beside him masturbating without shame, he still felt lonely as hell. His life had been full of people, and it had all changed. Collapsed around him. Was this what he ought to be doing with himself?
Nino looked over, sensing Jun’s anxiety with a shrewd look in his eyes, though his left hand was still working his cock at a steady rhythm. Nino had always been an excellent multi-tasker. “Lesbians aren’t doing it for you?” Nino asked, though Jun could tell from the tone of his voice that he knew Jun’s headspace was currently a disaster area.
Jun was embarrassed, shaking his head. “Just…still full from dinner, I guess.”
“You want me to help?” Nino asked, a moan from the laptop speakers making him stumble over his words a little. “Need a hand?”
He shook his head again. “I’ll just watch you.”
Nino smiled. He would never change, Jun knew that. He would always keep Jun, keep Ohno, at arm’s length. Nino loved them both, Jun knew that much, but it wasn’t exactly with the same intensity Jun was looking for. Jun knew Nino was never going to confess to him. Jun knew Nino was never going to have a “boyfriend,” a “partner,” a “permanent solution.” All he could do was be himself.
“Come here,” Nino said quietly, as forceful as he’d ever get.
Jun shut out the porn, shut out the looming weeks and months ahead, and let Nino kiss him. Nino might have been lazy about some things, but he’d always been good at kissing. He slipped his tongue past Jun’s lips in seconds, clearly aiming to get Jun into a better mood quickly rather than drawing it out. Jun sighed contentedly, focusing on the slick, steady sound of Nino touching himself. Jun rested a hand behind Nino’s head, nestling his fingers in his hair, deepening their kiss and pretending there was more to it, if only because the promise of that, the fantasy of that, was always good at getting him hard. A bright future, happiness at the thought of permanence, something waiting for him at the end of this lonely, unfulfilled road.
Within a minute of Nino’s tongue and mouth working magic, sloppy in a way Jun pretended to dislike but secretly loved, he was hard. “Okay,” he eventually said, “okay. I’m going to watch you though.”
He detangled himself from Nino, squeezing a small amount of lube into his palm. Watching Nino’s small hand slide up and down the length of his shaft, Jun started working himself in time with him. By now the diligent, pleasure-seeking lesbians were an afterthought and he gave in to the simple enjoyment of touching himself, of watching Nino shut his eyes tight and lose himself in whatever he was thinking of, whatever was keeping him rock hard and eager despite Jun’s erection-killing insecurity mere inches away.
Since they were just jerking off, Jun could imagine anything he wanted. Nino always wanted Jun to fuck him. Nothing made Nino happier than crawling onto Jun’s mattress, sticking his perky little ass in the air and waiting for a long, hard fuck. Ohno was very much the same, though he usually preferred to sit on top of Jun and ride him or ride some new neon-colored toy Jun had pushed into him, squeezing Jun’s hands tight instead of noisily vocalizing his pleasure. Jun could imagine the opposite, at least in his own mind. Instead of doing the fucking, he could take it. He could lie on his back, knees up, get taken instead of doing the taking. Be the one bound instead of doing the binding.
So much in his life was out of his hands, out of his control now. It surprised him that he still felt this way. That he still wanted it so badly. Wanting something he wasn’t liable to get unless he went looking for it elsewhere, in beds that didn’t belong to his best friends.
Soon enough Nino was reaching forward, grabbing a few tissues from the box. His back had barely hit the couch cushion again when he was coming with a soft little moan, sending a surge of heat through Jun’s body. It was the little push he needed. He leaned back a bit further and soon Nino was kissing him again, scattering kisses up and down his neck, making gentle little encouraging noises to give him a hand.
He wanted Nino to ask him what he wanted, but it was for the best that he didn’t. Because in that moment, his eyes closed and coherent thought slipping away, he’d have probably said something he shouldn’t. He’d say something like “fuck me” or “I want you inside me” and Nino would just not be able to say anything in reply. So instead Jun just quickened the pace, nearly thrusting up and into his own hand when Nino started to run his fingers up and down his bare arm. And Nino was there a short time later, getting tissue into Jun’s hand just in time for him to come.
A while later, Nino was shoving the Satin Sheets back in his paper bag, was zipping up his jeans. “If I had vaginal dryness, I suppose this would be a helpful product.”
“That’s the line you need to put on the website,” Jun said, having kicked off his clothes to sit there naked. Nino preferred him that way, body flushed from exertion and on display for him. “I want to see the phrase ‘vaginal dryness’ on the page.”
“I’m gonna go,” Nino announced, back to the apartment he and Ohno shared. They spent so much time together, at home and at work, that Jun wondered what such a life was like.
“Don’t forget the leftovers.”
Jun listened to the sound of Nino in the kitchen, opening and closing the refrigerator, putting some of the leftovers into a separate container to bring home with him. The sheer bliss of those noises, of domesticity, might have brought a tear to Jun’s eye if he wasn’t still on a temporary high from getting off. Nino came back to give him a quick kiss, ruffling his hair before heading out for the night, leaving Jun naked on his sofa, entirely alone.
-
Wednesday morning had two cancellations in a row, which meant that Aiba had more time to bother him. Jun sat behind the reception counter, organizing and re-organizing the “patient” folders he’d pulled earlier that morning, even though he knew they were in order already.
Aiba sat beside him in his white coat, had pulled up a chair and was technically reading through the latest issue of the Journal of the Japanese Veterinary Medical Association, but he hadn’t turned the page in a while. “Well what about the one I sent you the other day?”
“Aiba-san,” Jun said as politely as he could manage, “that was for a Korean agency.”
“So?”
“I don’t speak Korean.”
Aiba laughed, patting Jun on the shoulder. “I guess I didn’t think about it that way! I just saw it and hit forward!”
“Thank you anyway,” Jun said, even as his stomach knotted and twisted uncomfortably. Aiba meant well, he kept telling himself. He ought to be grateful.
“What time is Ranger coming in?”
“11:15.”
“You’ll like Ranger,” Aiba said. “He’s a German Shepherd. Huge dog!”
The bigger dogs tended to get along better with Jun, although that wasn’t saying much. For the last few months Jun had been working at the Shimura Animal Hospital, filling in as the office’s administrative assistant since the previous admin had left to have a baby. He called to remind people of appointments and sent off emails, he filed charts, did scheduling, and processed payments. And then sometimes, in the case of some animals, he was called in by one of the vet techs to assist with weighing them or coaxing a frightened cat out of its carrier.
Jun had had a dog growing up, but otherwise he’d never been much of a Doctor Doolittle. Cats seemed to sense his unease and ignored him, dogs would slobber on him in greeting and not much else, and he always got nervous around the smaller creatures, around the gerbils and guinea pigs. But Aiba had wanted to help him and had gone to the trouble of arranging the job for him even though he had no experience working in an office like this.
Aiba Masaki was Nino’s childhood friend, who’d taken the train to the Johnny’s audition with him and had gotten cold feet. Where Nino went on to smile for the cameras, Aiba had finished high school, gone to university, gotten his degree in veterinary medicine. For the last several years he’d worked here with Shimura-sensei, serving as the second certified vet on staff. Though he wasn’t exactly adept at finding job postings to forward on to Jun, he was good at his real job. He’d memorized the names and charts of all of his “patients,” and some owners even brought their pets by just to say hello, even if they weren’t scheduled for a check-up.
Finally Aiba gave up on reading, closing the stuffy medical journal and getting to his feet. He stretched a bit, smiling his usual smile. Jun had never seen someone as content with his life as Aiba was, and he envied him that. “Gonna go check on Zeus’ stool sample!”
“You do that,” Jun said, chuckling under his breath as Aiba headed for the lab room in the rear of the facility where the vet techs spent much of their day looking at poop for abnormalities. Jun was glad that Aiba hadn’t recruited him for tasks like that.
After Ranger, the massive dog, had come and gone, Jun took his lunch break. It must have been Rejection Day across the country, as he found three emails sitting in his inbox all to that effect. One from a tour company (“no experience”), one from a multi-national corporation (“the position has been filled”), and one from an art gallery (no explanation provided). He spent the rest of his lunch sulking, listening to two of the vet techs at the table behind him going through a bridal magazine, expressing disgust at the cost of dresses.
He stuffed his empty bento box in his locker in the staff room, washing his hands before heading back to the front desk. Shimura-sensei was up front chatting with a woman who’d brought in her two cats, was making silly noises and poking his finger in one of the cat’s carriers. He was an odd guy to work for, might have been better suited as a comedian than a vet, but he always treated Jun with respect, even though it was clear he was just filling in until a real admin could be found.
When the woman left, Shimura-sensei knocked on the desk with his knuckles. “Who’s coming up?”
Jun tapped one of the file folders. “You’ve got Rascal the hamster at 1:00 and Bean the Siamese cat at 2:00.”
“Siamese cats! So snobby!” Shimura-sensei complained, shaking his head. “I’ll be on lunch now! Thanks Jun-kun.”
Jun set Shimura-sensei’s folders aside, examining Aiba’s. He had a cat named Elsa coming in at 12:45, and it was 12:34 now. There was a special note on the file in Aiba’s scribbled handwriting that said the owner, Ishihara-san, always brought her daughter along since it was her cat. Jun smiled. He was a little better at handling kids than pets. He opened the drawer beside him, finding a few bags of dog and cat treats that they gave as a reward to “good” patients. Beside them was a small bag of lollipops they gave to the kids, and he took one out for the little girl.
The office door opened with the jingling of the little bells Shimura-sensei had looped around the doorknob, and Jun looked up, expecting to see a mom and child with a cat carrier in tow. Instead there was an anxious-looking man in a business suit, holding a bright pink cat carrier in one hand and a little girl’s hand in the other.
“Come on, Saya-chan, we have to check Elsa in,” the man said to the girl, who wore a ruffled green dress that had a cartoon cat emblazoned on it, her black hair set in a pair of lopsided pigtails.
Jun stilled, hand still clutching the lollipop as the man came up to the desk. And soon they were both frozen in place.
He somehow found his voice again. “Sho-kun?”
It had been years, but there was really no mistaking him. His face was a little chubbier, had filled in, and there were bags under his eyes. His hair was neatly trimmed and black, unlike the wild dyed styles he’d sported when he was younger. The cut of his suit, the way he carried himself, it spoke of money, of a life still lived comfortably. It had been more than ten years, but there was no denying that it was Sakurai Sho standing before him. But how?
The man’s lips parted in surprise, his round brown eyes widening in recognition. “Matsujun?”
“Papa,” the little girl mumbled in complaint, somewhere out of Jun’s line of sight since the top of her head barely reached the reception counter.
“Sorry,” Sho said. “I’m sorry.” Jun, still a bit shell-shocked, heard a quiet little meow as Sho set down the pink cat carrier on the floor and hoisted the little girl up, holding her against his hip, even though it was going to wrinkle his suit. “Where are my manners?”
The little girl smiled at Jun. She had Sho’s cheerful smile. There was no denying he was her father. “Hello, we’ve brought Elsa for her app…appment.” The girl, stubborn and undeterred, kept trying. “Elsa for her poy-ment!”
“Ishihara-san?” Jun asked, unable to say much more.
“That’s…” Sho said. “That’s my…”
“That’s my Mama,” the little girl answered easily, not seeming to notice her father’s discomfort. She was maybe five, six years old. Jun wasn’t really that good at determining ages with little ones. “But she’s not feeling well today, so Papa came.”
Sho offered a rather apologetic smile. “Elsa is Saya-chan’s cat. It’s her check-up today.”
Jun nodded, trying not to freak out. “Of course, 12:45 for Elsa.” He looked up, finding it easier to look at the cat’s owner than at her still boyishly handsome father. “Let me guess, you like Frozen?”
“I like Frozen so much! I like Frozen so much! I have an Olaf at home and he can talk!”
“That’s awesome.”
“Until his batteries die. Then God help you,” Sho muttered under his breath, and Jun tried not to laugh.
“Well, please have a seat, and Aiba-sensei will be with you soon.”
Sho had a difficult time turning away, letting his daughter nearly slide down his body until her feet were on the floor. The little girl had her hand on the carrier’s handle, started dragging it across the waiting room floor until Sho had to remind her to be a bit gentler or Elsa was going to get upset. Jun crossed Ishihara - Elsa/Cat off of the appointment sheet.
He met Sho’s eyes quickly, saw the undeniable curiosity in his face that probably matched his own before getting up from the desk to find Aiba, who was back in the lab at his workstation. “Your 12:45 is here,” he announced, just as Aiba was putting the cap back on his pen.
He looked up at Jun, suddenly confused. “Is something wrong? It’s Elsa, right? There’s nothing wrong with her, is there?”
“No,” Jun muttered. “No, just…nothing. They’re in the waiting room, the uh…the daughter and…” He leaned against the doorframe for a bit of courage. “The father came with, apparently the mother wasn’t feeling well today.”
“Well okay,” Aiba said, getting to his feet. “Chiyo-san, if you could go get the room prepped for me, that would be great. I’ll get her shots ready.”
The vet tech got up from her table, acknowledging Jun with a nod as she went out to greet Sho and his daughter. Sho and his daughter. Jun was still having a problem wrapping his head around such a concept. He was thirty-three by now, it wasn’t that weird, really, but it was Sho. Sho who’d been living a life apart for so many years. Sho and his daughter.
“You okay?” Aiba asked, squeezing his shoulder. Jun hadn’t even noticed him walking over. “Jun-kun?”
“Yeah, I just…” He tried to shrug, aiming for indifference but failing completely. “I know him, the father.”
“Oh wow, really?”
“He was in Johnny’s with me and Nino.”
“No way! You want to come in for the exam and catch up?” Aiba offered. He’d always been so fascinated by the idol world, even though he’d quickly passed up his own opportunity.
“I’ll stay up at the desk. In case someone calls.”
“Right, right,” Aiba said, his enthusiasm always making his mouth work faster than his brain. “Well, after maybe!”
“Maybe.”
By the time Jun got back to the waiting room, Sho, Saya-chan, and the pink carrier had vanished into Exam Room 2. The Ishihara folder had disappeared from the desk too, taken by Chiyo-san into the room with her where she’d weigh the cat. He couldn’t help but pull up the scheduling program and client files on the computer, clicking on the record for Ishihara Satomi. There was a mention of “Daughter, Sayaka” as well as a home address in Kunitachi. In the “Miscellaneous Notes” section of the file, Jun saw something of an explanation - a note from the previous year’s exam about billing, simply noting “formerly Sakurai Satomi - now Ishihara.”
He closed the program, ashamed of himself for prying, clicking over to the next batch of appointment reminder calls he had to make. He heard the door to Exam Room 2 open a few minutes later, Aiba greeting them with a “Good afternoon, how ya doing today, Elsa?” before closing it after him again and shutting out whatever response he received.
-
Aiba approached the desk with Elsa’s file folder, Sho and his daughter at his heels. “Well, it’s a clean bill of health for Elsa today,” Aiba announced to the waiting room. “That’s probably because she’s so well cared for.”
Jun saw Saya-chan holding the carrier with all her might, grinning from ear to ear in pride. “Now Jun-kun will take care of your bill today. Thanks for stopping by!”
“Thank you, Aiba-sensei,” Sho said politely, pulling a brown leather billfold from his suit pocket. He turned to look behind him. “Stay right there, and let Papa pay Elsa’s bill, okay?”
“Okay!” Saya agreed, perching in one of the chairs and resting Elsa’s carrier at her feet. Jun hadn’t even seen the cat.
Aiba leaned against the counter, smiling. “Two Johnny’s in my office, amazing!”
“That was a long time ago,” Sho said hastily, unable to meet Jun’s eyes.
“Yeah, it’s not like we’re going to put on a performance in here.”
Jun saw Sho’s face go white, and he knew he ought to have said something else. Aiba, oblivious, just handed the file over to Jun. “Standard exam, standard vaccinations. She’s fine for another year, okay?”
“Okay,” Jun said, getting up to pull the invoice he’d already sent to the printer.
“Thanks for coming in, have a good one!” Aiba said, heading back for the lab and leaving them together.
Jun went through the usual motions, showing the bill to Sho and noting each charge and what it cost. It was easy, slipping back into work mode, so long as he didn’t have to look Sho in the face.
“Aiba-sensei said you’re still friends with Nino.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”
“What’s he up to? I always thought he’d end up on some music show with his guitar.”
Jun took a deep breath. He couldn’t exactly tell Sho, who may as well have been a complete stranger now, what Nino actually did for a living. It was obvious Aiba hadn’t told him, thankfully. “He’s got some online store, he’s doing good. I’ll let him know you said hi.”
“That would be great,” Sho said, sliding a credit card across the counter instead of noticing that Jun had his hand out for it.
Jun ran Sho’s card and printed out his receipt. “Just sign here please.”
“You went to veterinary school?” Sho asked, pen poised over his receipt. He was demanding Jun’s attention now, leaning an elbow on the counter and looking up at him. All the memories they’d shared were flooding back, and Jun just wanted him to go. To take his daughter, the cat, and go.
“No. This is just…something for now.”
“Oh,” Sho replied, apologetic. He’d always been such a talkative person, back then. Jun wondered if that was still the case and if it was Jun that was the problem.
“You’ll get a reminder email in ten months about setting up a new appointment for the cat.”
“That’ll go to her mother?”
“Uh, yeah, whichever you prefer.”
“Send it to her mother.”
Jun made a note in the file on the computer to contact Ishihara Satomi next year as usual. “Congratulations. On the…on having a little girl.” He slid the lollipop across the counter. “She’s very cute.”
“She is,” Sho agreed, turning. “Saya-chan, this is for you.”
The little girl let out a cheer, scurrying over to snatch the lollipop from Sho’s hand with a mumbled thank you, dancing back to the cat with it in her hand.
“How old is she?”
“Almost five,” Sho said, and Jun’s heart was pounding when he saw the overwhelming, protective love that was plain on Sho’s face as he watched his little girl dance around the cat carrier. He had the same face, the same smile, but he wasn’t the same person. The Sho that Jun had known, that Jun had practically worshipped back then, he hadn’t been this way. He hadn’t been this…soft, this sweet.
Jun had never been the type of person to want to turn back the clock, to wish he could go back and do things differently. It was a waste of time, and he’d never look forward if all he did was look back. But seeing Sho again, whose life he’d wondered about from time to time for more than ten years, he did wish that it hadn’t been so abrupt.
There were half a dozen sentences composing themselves in his mind, half of which involved using Nino as a bridge, trying to get the three of them to meet up for a coffee or a drink sometime. They never made it past his lips.
“Matsujun,” Sho said once he had Saya-chan’s hand in his own once more. “It was really good to see you. I hope you’re doing well.”
There was an earnestness, a sincerity in Sho’s expression. Most of the time he’d been sarcastic, acting as though Jun’s behavior annoyed him more than anything. He’d grown up. Then again, the last time he’d seen Sakurai Sho, he’d been eighteen and angry at the world in the way most teenagers were.
“It was good to see you too. Take care.”
part two
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Sakumoto (endgame) with Matsumiya, Juntoshi, Ohmiya (implied) as well as assorted cameos/participation from several others.
Summary: For Matsumoto Jun, happiness has been hard to come by lately. His work is unfulfilling and he craves a permanent, meaningful relationship. When someone from his past reappears, could it be the start of something new?
Notes/Warnings: For kitto_slutparty. Two characters own an erotic store and try out what they sell. Also, Sho is a dad. These two things have nothing to do with one another, btw, I just figured warning for sex toys and children covers all my bases depending on what scares a reader away. As far as the sex goes, there’s some very light BDSM-type activity that occurs, namely face slapping and spanking (completely consensual).
Ohno plucked a stray black cat hair off of Jun’s sleeve, chuckling under his breath. “Rough day at the office?” he asked, pinching the hair between his fingers briefly before letting it fall to the floor of the shop.
Jun self-consciously brushed his hand against his sleeve, in case more of Takoyaki’s fur had gotten on him. Takoyaki, a four year old black and white cat and the last animal they had in that day, had shed like crazy, blanketing the office from the front door to the exam rooms. Usually Jun caught everything with his lint roller before heading out for the day, but the office had closed early that afternoon because Shimura-sensei had just started instituting “Half Day Fridays.”
“Every day is a rough day at the office,” he grumbled, jerking away from Ohno’s poking, prodding fingers in favor of standing behind Nino, who hadn’t budged from his place in front of his laptop even though Jun had dropped by. Nino had been furiously typing, then stopping, then typing again for the better part of twenty minutes, had acknowledged Jun with little more than a nod since he arrived.
He looked at the website coding Nino had before him. He was composing the text for a new product page. “They don’t all have to be essays, do they? I mean, between a picture and product specifications, people ought to know what they’re getting…”
This finally got Nino to budge, hunched over as he was. He turned to look up at Jun, offering a cynical smile. “For someone like you groomed from a young age to entertain, you certainly have no concept of how retail works. People can go to any other page to buy this stuff, but mine is fun. Mine’s meant to make everything sound like a must-buy!”
He swallowed down Nino’s oh-so-casual reminder of everything Jun had given up, shaking his head. “How much do you really have to say about a butt plug?”
Nino leaned back in his chair a bit, wrapping an arm around him, circling Jun’s thighs. “Pluggie-san resents your implication that he’s the same as all the rest.” Nino lifted the toy from the countertop beside his computer, poking at the plastic packaging encasing it. “We have something for everyone. It’s our selling point.”
Jun felt that he’d had this conversation with Nino a hundred times over the last few years. Ninomiya Kazunari had not followed the typical path of the “former idol,” that was for damn sure. He’d quit Johnny’s at twenty, circling around odd jobs like pizza delivery scooter driver and a brief stint at a bank before going into business with a friend. Seven years ago, SK Enterprises had been founded, an erotic shop that sold sex toys and every flavor of pornographic film under the sun.
Nino and his business partner, Ohno Satoshi, maintained random business hours that suited them. A few hours on a Tuesday morning, a Thursday afternoon. Ninety-six percent of their sales came from online anyhow since they prided themselves on discretion, opting for the innocuous SK Enterprises name over any sort of sexual innuendo. They saved that for their company website, which Nino mostly wrote himself - from product reviews to promotional offers. His partner, Ohno, did more of the nitty-gritty, pulling items from the stock room and packaging them up for customers, biking over to the post office to ship things out in plain, discreet boxes.
Jun had met Nino when they were thirteen, both of them dancing in the back and mostly out of sight back then, and here they were almost twenty years later, still friends and neither of them in the futures they’d planned. Nino was a lifelong pragmatist, though, taking things as they came along. He hadn’t dreamed of being the owner of a sex shop as a kid, but it “paid the bills” and he had no real ambition to try anything else since SK was doing well. Jun, on the other hand…Jun’s life took him further and further from his dreams with each passing day, with each stray cat hair he found on his sleeve, with each nervous hamster that pissed on him.
Ohno disappeared into the stock room while Jun watched Nino type out the additional selling points of “Pluggie-san,” among them that the silicone material was safe for people sensitive to chemicals and that the bullet vibe that could be fitted inside the plug provided “unmatched sensations that’ll make your toes curl.”
“You still down for tonight?” Nino asked, turning over the package so he could add Pluggie-san’s measurements to the web design program he had open.
He nodded. “Sure.”
Socializing, even in the Nino and Ohno meanings of the word, was a better way to spend an evening than combing job boards and tweaking one of the seventy-two different cover letters he had saved in the “Job Search” folder on his own computer. That and binge watching depressing Scandinavian murder mysteries had filled his evenings of late, and Jun was tired of it.
Jun was tired of a lot of things. At least Nino’s company would be a welcome distraction from reality. But in the back of his head, Jun sometimes feared that he relied too heavily on Nino’s distractions and Ohno’s distractions. He sometimes feared that if he let things continue as they were, he’d never dig himself out.
Ohno re-emerged from the back room, a small plastic bottle in tow. “This is the one you wanted, right?” Ohno asked, setting it down on the counter. They’d settled into such a comfortable routine, the three of them, that the presentation of the night’s “challenge item” no longer held much anticipation. Well, at least it didn’t for Jun.
Nino eyeballed it quickly, scratching his chin and nodding before turning back to his code. “That’s the one.”
Ohno picked it up again, squinting a little at the dark blue bottle. “You know this is made for ladies, right?”
“Is that jealousy I’m hearing?” Nino shot back, not even looking away from his screen.
Ohno’s round, gentle face grew a little pinker. “Of course not. Like I want to try your girly lube.”
Jun started moving, not really in the mood to listen to the snippy little argument that was due to break out any moment. His life was already too weird, sitting in this tiny store, the wall behind him lined with dildos in every color of the rainbow. “Come by around 8:00 and I’ll have dinner ready,” he said, heading for the exit.
Nino just lifted his hand, waving goodbye without looking at him. He caught Ohno’s wry little smile before he pushed the frosted glass door open, emerging into Dogenzaka. He walked past bars, past love hotels that wouldn’t open their doors for a few hours yet. Just another anonymous face in a sea of humanity flowing to and from Shibuya Station. Sleepwalking through another day, waiting for his fortunes to improve.
-
Nino had shown up half an hour late without an explanation, toting the blue plastic bottle in a tan paper bag, showing up at Jun’s apartment door in the same ratty jeans, green beanie, and “Do we got problem?” pink t-shirt he’d been wearing at the shop. He seldom put in any additional effort. By now, Jun figured their situation was routine, that Nino felt no need to treat it as anything more than it was.
He and Nino had been fucking around on and off for six years now, once they’d reconnected and Nino had introduced him to SK Enterprises. At first, it had been something that made sense because neither of them wanted to be tied down by a serious relationship. They’d both known, even as teenagers, what sex they preferred in a partner, but neither of them had acted on it back then. It had just been sex, to start, but Nino, ever the savvy entrepreneur, had been the one to suggest mixing business and pleasure.
And thus they had nights like tonight, where Nino would show up at Jun’s apartment with something from SK in tow. Nino refused to sell anything that he or Ohno hadn’t tried themselves, and the two of them had discovered years ago that they weren’t the most sexually compatible with some of the stuff they stocked. Nino and Ohno both preferred to be the submissive party when it came to bedroom activities, which made it hard for the pair of them to try out bondage gear and likeminded items together. So they came to Jun.
Nino came to Jun with a desire for a free meal and was grateful that Jun didn’t mind if he mostly skipped over a post-coital cuddle or cigarette in favor of taking out his phone and jotting down notes for his eventual product write-up or review for the SK homepage. Jun had long grown used to the sight of Nino in his bed or on his sofa, cross-legged, naked, his slim body dripping with sweat as he typed emails to himself. It was fucked up, probably, but even an uptight person like Jun (Nino’s words, not his own) got over it quickly because it was preferable to have someone else around instead of jacking off alone.
It was a few years into Nino and Jun’s arrangement before Ohno felt brave enough to inquire about an arrangement of his own. Ohno, shy but unable to hide it any longer, had simply shown up at Jun’s one night with a ball gag and a hopeful look in his eyes. “Kazunari says it’s okay,” Ohno had said, running a hand through his short, spiky hair nervously as he stood in Jun’s genkan that night. “He says it’s okay, so…” And that had been the start of that.
It was once a week, usually, Ohno and Nino switching off depending on what new item they wanted to try with Jun. They rarely came by together, if only because until recently Jun hadn’t had the time and energy for it. Not when they were always bringing things that took effort, trust, and negotiation. Jun hadn’t had a normal sex life in more than half a decade, but it hadn’t been a big deal before. His job had run him ragged, but he’d still been able to get laid, no strings attached. He hadn’t had to resort to cruising through bars, hadn’t had to swipe his way through apps in hopes of finding someone. With Nino and Ohno, it wasn’t forever, it wasn’t more than it was, but at least he wasn’t alone.
Jun came back from the kitchen after washing dishes to find that Nino had switched off the movie they’d been watching in favor of opening Jun’s laptop and logging into one of the many porn sites he was a member of. “Got a preference?” Nino asked in his almost indifferent manner, having shucked off his jeans at some point while Jun had been scrubbing their plates. His bony knees were flush against the coffee table, seated as he was on the edge of Jun’s sofa cushion, finger swishing back and forth across Jun’s trackpad.
Jun sat beside him, still fully dressed as he picked up the blue bottle. Satin Sheets lubricant, the bottle informed him. Apparently the stuff wasn’t just for keeping things slick during sex. It was a lubricant designed for daily use by a woman with dryness issues, not that Jun knew a whole lot about that specific part of a woman’s anatomy, seeing as how he’d never been with one. Porn wasn’t exactly a reliable guidebook. “In honor of tonight’s product,” Jun said, twisting off the cap, “we should probably watch something with a woman in it.”
“To honor the spirit of the product, I see,” Nino said with a gentle laugh, scratching an itch on his thigh and skimming the website. “Can you get off to lesbians or do you need a dick in the picture at some point?”
Jun laughed. Nino rarely brought in the adult videos from the shop to watch with him. That was more Ohno’s territory. “I can get off to lesbians.”
“An open-minded soul, that’s why we love you, Jun-pon,” Nino teased, reading through some of the video descriptions.
Tonight was an easy night. He and Nino had tested at least a dozen kinds of lubricant before, and they’d both had a big dinner (Jun had been in full-on chef mode that evening), so they’d opted to just sample the new product by jerking off together. Once Nino had a video playing, two attractive women getting things started by making out topless, Jun got up from the couch and went to grab some towels and tissue from the bathroom.
There was an almost clinical detachment to the way Nino took the bath towel from his hand, positioning it under his ass as he sat back further on Jun’s sofa. For his part, Jun took his time watching the video on the small laptop screen, eventually unzipping his jeans and shoving them down to his ankles. He was only halfway hard when Nino leaned forward, ditching his t-shirt and his hat and reaching for the bottle. Jun couldn’t help watching as Nino squeezed some of the lube into his palm.
“It smells nice,” Nino remarked, sniffing it a little before moving to his cock and slicking it down.
“Smells like aloe vera,” Jun commented.
“All natural ingredients, Earth friendly,” Nino said, leaning back and starting to stroke himself lazily. “You probably don’t need that much, this is too much.”
Jun looked over, saw that a little of the stuff went a long way, holding back a chuckle at the slippery mess Nino now had to contend with between his legs. Even with the women in the video ramping up their activities, one of the women parting her partner’s thighs to kiss and lick with great enthusiasm, Jun was preoccupied.
He was thirty-two years old. It was a Friday night, he was in the beginning stages of jerking off to lesbian porn, and his living room smelled like the linguini they’d eaten mixed with aloe vera. Come Monday, he’d once again be in the offices of Shimura-sensei, enduring Aiba’s gentle words of encouragement, listening to dogs howl in the waiting room while he wrote up appointment reminder emails.
For years, Matsumoto Jun had been a talent. He’d never debuted, but he’d had fans. He’d appeared on TV, had danced behind his seniors in concerts. And when that had ended, he’d gone to the other side, to management. He’d been in the celebrity world for more than half his life, and now here he was, almost a year gone from it, and what did he have to show for it? Rejections that he put through his paper shredder to keep from re-reading them over and over, job applications littering his computer in various stages of completion, scheduled nights in which he fucked his friends and they rarely stayed over because then it might actually mean something (heaven forbid).
It was shit. His life was shit, and even with someone sitting beside him masturbating without shame, he still felt lonely as hell. His life had been full of people, and it had all changed. Collapsed around him. Was this what he ought to be doing with himself?
Nino looked over, sensing Jun’s anxiety with a shrewd look in his eyes, though his left hand was still working his cock at a steady rhythm. Nino had always been an excellent multi-tasker. “Lesbians aren’t doing it for you?” Nino asked, though Jun could tell from the tone of his voice that he knew Jun’s headspace was currently a disaster area.
Jun was embarrassed, shaking his head. “Just…still full from dinner, I guess.”
“You want me to help?” Nino asked, a moan from the laptop speakers making him stumble over his words a little. “Need a hand?”
He shook his head again. “I’ll just watch you.”
Nino smiled. He would never change, Jun knew that. He would always keep Jun, keep Ohno, at arm’s length. Nino loved them both, Jun knew that much, but it wasn’t exactly with the same intensity Jun was looking for. Jun knew Nino was never going to confess to him. Jun knew Nino was never going to have a “boyfriend,” a “partner,” a “permanent solution.” All he could do was be himself.
“Come here,” Nino said quietly, as forceful as he’d ever get.
Jun shut out the porn, shut out the looming weeks and months ahead, and let Nino kiss him. Nino might have been lazy about some things, but he’d always been good at kissing. He slipped his tongue past Jun’s lips in seconds, clearly aiming to get Jun into a better mood quickly rather than drawing it out. Jun sighed contentedly, focusing on the slick, steady sound of Nino touching himself. Jun rested a hand behind Nino’s head, nestling his fingers in his hair, deepening their kiss and pretending there was more to it, if only because the promise of that, the fantasy of that, was always good at getting him hard. A bright future, happiness at the thought of permanence, something waiting for him at the end of this lonely, unfulfilled road.
Within a minute of Nino’s tongue and mouth working magic, sloppy in a way Jun pretended to dislike but secretly loved, he was hard. “Okay,” he eventually said, “okay. I’m going to watch you though.”
He detangled himself from Nino, squeezing a small amount of lube into his palm. Watching Nino’s small hand slide up and down the length of his shaft, Jun started working himself in time with him. By now the diligent, pleasure-seeking lesbians were an afterthought and he gave in to the simple enjoyment of touching himself, of watching Nino shut his eyes tight and lose himself in whatever he was thinking of, whatever was keeping him rock hard and eager despite Jun’s erection-killing insecurity mere inches away.
Since they were just jerking off, Jun could imagine anything he wanted. Nino always wanted Jun to fuck him. Nothing made Nino happier than crawling onto Jun’s mattress, sticking his perky little ass in the air and waiting for a long, hard fuck. Ohno was very much the same, though he usually preferred to sit on top of Jun and ride him or ride some new neon-colored toy Jun had pushed into him, squeezing Jun’s hands tight instead of noisily vocalizing his pleasure. Jun could imagine the opposite, at least in his own mind. Instead of doing the fucking, he could take it. He could lie on his back, knees up, get taken instead of doing the taking. Be the one bound instead of doing the binding.
So much in his life was out of his hands, out of his control now. It surprised him that he still felt this way. That he still wanted it so badly. Wanting something he wasn’t liable to get unless he went looking for it elsewhere, in beds that didn’t belong to his best friends.
Soon enough Nino was reaching forward, grabbing a few tissues from the box. His back had barely hit the couch cushion again when he was coming with a soft little moan, sending a surge of heat through Jun’s body. It was the little push he needed. He leaned back a bit further and soon Nino was kissing him again, scattering kisses up and down his neck, making gentle little encouraging noises to give him a hand.
He wanted Nino to ask him what he wanted, but it was for the best that he didn’t. Because in that moment, his eyes closed and coherent thought slipping away, he’d have probably said something he shouldn’t. He’d say something like “fuck me” or “I want you inside me” and Nino would just not be able to say anything in reply. So instead Jun just quickened the pace, nearly thrusting up and into his own hand when Nino started to run his fingers up and down his bare arm. And Nino was there a short time later, getting tissue into Jun’s hand just in time for him to come.
A while later, Nino was shoving the Satin Sheets back in his paper bag, was zipping up his jeans. “If I had vaginal dryness, I suppose this would be a helpful product.”
“That’s the line you need to put on the website,” Jun said, having kicked off his clothes to sit there naked. Nino preferred him that way, body flushed from exertion and on display for him. “I want to see the phrase ‘vaginal dryness’ on the page.”
“I’m gonna go,” Nino announced, back to the apartment he and Ohno shared. They spent so much time together, at home and at work, that Jun wondered what such a life was like.
“Don’t forget the leftovers.”
Jun listened to the sound of Nino in the kitchen, opening and closing the refrigerator, putting some of the leftovers into a separate container to bring home with him. The sheer bliss of those noises, of domesticity, might have brought a tear to Jun’s eye if he wasn’t still on a temporary high from getting off. Nino came back to give him a quick kiss, ruffling his hair before heading out for the night, leaving Jun naked on his sofa, entirely alone.
-
Wednesday morning had two cancellations in a row, which meant that Aiba had more time to bother him. Jun sat behind the reception counter, organizing and re-organizing the “patient” folders he’d pulled earlier that morning, even though he knew they were in order already.
Aiba sat beside him in his white coat, had pulled up a chair and was technically reading through the latest issue of the Journal of the Japanese Veterinary Medical Association, but he hadn’t turned the page in a while. “Well what about the one I sent you the other day?”
“Aiba-san,” Jun said as politely as he could manage, “that was for a Korean agency.”
“So?”
“I don’t speak Korean.”
Aiba laughed, patting Jun on the shoulder. “I guess I didn’t think about it that way! I just saw it and hit forward!”
“Thank you anyway,” Jun said, even as his stomach knotted and twisted uncomfortably. Aiba meant well, he kept telling himself. He ought to be grateful.
“What time is Ranger coming in?”
“11:15.”
“You’ll like Ranger,” Aiba said. “He’s a German Shepherd. Huge dog!”
The bigger dogs tended to get along better with Jun, although that wasn’t saying much. For the last few months Jun had been working at the Shimura Animal Hospital, filling in as the office’s administrative assistant since the previous admin had left to have a baby. He called to remind people of appointments and sent off emails, he filed charts, did scheduling, and processed payments. And then sometimes, in the case of some animals, he was called in by one of the vet techs to assist with weighing them or coaxing a frightened cat out of its carrier.
Jun had had a dog growing up, but otherwise he’d never been much of a Doctor Doolittle. Cats seemed to sense his unease and ignored him, dogs would slobber on him in greeting and not much else, and he always got nervous around the smaller creatures, around the gerbils and guinea pigs. But Aiba had wanted to help him and had gone to the trouble of arranging the job for him even though he had no experience working in an office like this.
Aiba Masaki was Nino’s childhood friend, who’d taken the train to the Johnny’s audition with him and had gotten cold feet. Where Nino went on to smile for the cameras, Aiba had finished high school, gone to university, gotten his degree in veterinary medicine. For the last several years he’d worked here with Shimura-sensei, serving as the second certified vet on staff. Though he wasn’t exactly adept at finding job postings to forward on to Jun, he was good at his real job. He’d memorized the names and charts of all of his “patients,” and some owners even brought their pets by just to say hello, even if they weren’t scheduled for a check-up.
Finally Aiba gave up on reading, closing the stuffy medical journal and getting to his feet. He stretched a bit, smiling his usual smile. Jun had never seen someone as content with his life as Aiba was, and he envied him that. “Gonna go check on Zeus’ stool sample!”
“You do that,” Jun said, chuckling under his breath as Aiba headed for the lab room in the rear of the facility where the vet techs spent much of their day looking at poop for abnormalities. Jun was glad that Aiba hadn’t recruited him for tasks like that.
After Ranger, the massive dog, had come and gone, Jun took his lunch break. It must have been Rejection Day across the country, as he found three emails sitting in his inbox all to that effect. One from a tour company (“no experience”), one from a multi-national corporation (“the position has been filled”), and one from an art gallery (no explanation provided). He spent the rest of his lunch sulking, listening to two of the vet techs at the table behind him going through a bridal magazine, expressing disgust at the cost of dresses.
He stuffed his empty bento box in his locker in the staff room, washing his hands before heading back to the front desk. Shimura-sensei was up front chatting with a woman who’d brought in her two cats, was making silly noises and poking his finger in one of the cat’s carriers. He was an odd guy to work for, might have been better suited as a comedian than a vet, but he always treated Jun with respect, even though it was clear he was just filling in until a real admin could be found.
When the woman left, Shimura-sensei knocked on the desk with his knuckles. “Who’s coming up?”
Jun tapped one of the file folders. “You’ve got Rascal the hamster at 1:00 and Bean the Siamese cat at 2:00.”
“Siamese cats! So snobby!” Shimura-sensei complained, shaking his head. “I’ll be on lunch now! Thanks Jun-kun.”
Jun set Shimura-sensei’s folders aside, examining Aiba’s. He had a cat named Elsa coming in at 12:45, and it was 12:34 now. There was a special note on the file in Aiba’s scribbled handwriting that said the owner, Ishihara-san, always brought her daughter along since it was her cat. Jun smiled. He was a little better at handling kids than pets. He opened the drawer beside him, finding a few bags of dog and cat treats that they gave as a reward to “good” patients. Beside them was a small bag of lollipops they gave to the kids, and he took one out for the little girl.
The office door opened with the jingling of the little bells Shimura-sensei had looped around the doorknob, and Jun looked up, expecting to see a mom and child with a cat carrier in tow. Instead there was an anxious-looking man in a business suit, holding a bright pink cat carrier in one hand and a little girl’s hand in the other.
“Come on, Saya-chan, we have to check Elsa in,” the man said to the girl, who wore a ruffled green dress that had a cartoon cat emblazoned on it, her black hair set in a pair of lopsided pigtails.
Jun stilled, hand still clutching the lollipop as the man came up to the desk. And soon they were both frozen in place.
He somehow found his voice again. “Sho-kun?”
It had been years, but there was really no mistaking him. His face was a little chubbier, had filled in, and there were bags under his eyes. His hair was neatly trimmed and black, unlike the wild dyed styles he’d sported when he was younger. The cut of his suit, the way he carried himself, it spoke of money, of a life still lived comfortably. It had been more than ten years, but there was no denying that it was Sakurai Sho standing before him. But how?
The man’s lips parted in surprise, his round brown eyes widening in recognition. “Matsujun?”
“Papa,” the little girl mumbled in complaint, somewhere out of Jun’s line of sight since the top of her head barely reached the reception counter.
“Sorry,” Sho said. “I’m sorry.” Jun, still a bit shell-shocked, heard a quiet little meow as Sho set down the pink cat carrier on the floor and hoisted the little girl up, holding her against his hip, even though it was going to wrinkle his suit. “Where are my manners?”
The little girl smiled at Jun. She had Sho’s cheerful smile. There was no denying he was her father. “Hello, we’ve brought Elsa for her app…appment.” The girl, stubborn and undeterred, kept trying. “Elsa for her poy-ment!”
“Ishihara-san?” Jun asked, unable to say much more.
“That’s…” Sho said. “That’s my…”
“That’s my Mama,” the little girl answered easily, not seeming to notice her father’s discomfort. She was maybe five, six years old. Jun wasn’t really that good at determining ages with little ones. “But she’s not feeling well today, so Papa came.”
Sho offered a rather apologetic smile. “Elsa is Saya-chan’s cat. It’s her check-up today.”
Jun nodded, trying not to freak out. “Of course, 12:45 for Elsa.” He looked up, finding it easier to look at the cat’s owner than at her still boyishly handsome father. “Let me guess, you like Frozen?”
“I like Frozen so much! I like Frozen so much! I have an Olaf at home and he can talk!”
“That’s awesome.”
“Until his batteries die. Then God help you,” Sho muttered under his breath, and Jun tried not to laugh.
“Well, please have a seat, and Aiba-sensei will be with you soon.”
Sho had a difficult time turning away, letting his daughter nearly slide down his body until her feet were on the floor. The little girl had her hand on the carrier’s handle, started dragging it across the waiting room floor until Sho had to remind her to be a bit gentler or Elsa was going to get upset. Jun crossed Ishihara - Elsa/Cat off of the appointment sheet.
He met Sho’s eyes quickly, saw the undeniable curiosity in his face that probably matched his own before getting up from the desk to find Aiba, who was back in the lab at his workstation. “Your 12:45 is here,” he announced, just as Aiba was putting the cap back on his pen.
He looked up at Jun, suddenly confused. “Is something wrong? It’s Elsa, right? There’s nothing wrong with her, is there?”
“No,” Jun muttered. “No, just…nothing. They’re in the waiting room, the uh…the daughter and…” He leaned against the doorframe for a bit of courage. “The father came with, apparently the mother wasn’t feeling well today.”
“Well okay,” Aiba said, getting to his feet. “Chiyo-san, if you could go get the room prepped for me, that would be great. I’ll get her shots ready.”
The vet tech got up from her table, acknowledging Jun with a nod as she went out to greet Sho and his daughter. Sho and his daughter. Jun was still having a problem wrapping his head around such a concept. He was thirty-three by now, it wasn’t that weird, really, but it was Sho. Sho who’d been living a life apart for so many years. Sho and his daughter.
“You okay?” Aiba asked, squeezing his shoulder. Jun hadn’t even noticed him walking over. “Jun-kun?”
“Yeah, I just…” He tried to shrug, aiming for indifference but failing completely. “I know him, the father.”
“Oh wow, really?”
“He was in Johnny’s with me and Nino.”
“No way! You want to come in for the exam and catch up?” Aiba offered. He’d always been so fascinated by the idol world, even though he’d quickly passed up his own opportunity.
“I’ll stay up at the desk. In case someone calls.”
“Right, right,” Aiba said, his enthusiasm always making his mouth work faster than his brain. “Well, after maybe!”
“Maybe.”
By the time Jun got back to the waiting room, Sho, Saya-chan, and the pink carrier had vanished into Exam Room 2. The Ishihara folder had disappeared from the desk too, taken by Chiyo-san into the room with her where she’d weigh the cat. He couldn’t help but pull up the scheduling program and client files on the computer, clicking on the record for Ishihara Satomi. There was a mention of “Daughter, Sayaka” as well as a home address in Kunitachi. In the “Miscellaneous Notes” section of the file, Jun saw something of an explanation - a note from the previous year’s exam about billing, simply noting “formerly Sakurai Satomi - now Ishihara.”
He closed the program, ashamed of himself for prying, clicking over to the next batch of appointment reminder calls he had to make. He heard the door to Exam Room 2 open a few minutes later, Aiba greeting them with a “Good afternoon, how ya doing today, Elsa?” before closing it after him again and shutting out whatever response he received.
-
Aiba approached the desk with Elsa’s file folder, Sho and his daughter at his heels. “Well, it’s a clean bill of health for Elsa today,” Aiba announced to the waiting room. “That’s probably because she’s so well cared for.”
Jun saw Saya-chan holding the carrier with all her might, grinning from ear to ear in pride. “Now Jun-kun will take care of your bill today. Thanks for stopping by!”
“Thank you, Aiba-sensei,” Sho said politely, pulling a brown leather billfold from his suit pocket. He turned to look behind him. “Stay right there, and let Papa pay Elsa’s bill, okay?”
“Okay!” Saya agreed, perching in one of the chairs and resting Elsa’s carrier at her feet. Jun hadn’t even seen the cat.
Aiba leaned against the counter, smiling. “Two Johnny’s in my office, amazing!”
“That was a long time ago,” Sho said hastily, unable to meet Jun’s eyes.
“Yeah, it’s not like we’re going to put on a performance in here.”
Jun saw Sho’s face go white, and he knew he ought to have said something else. Aiba, oblivious, just handed the file over to Jun. “Standard exam, standard vaccinations. She’s fine for another year, okay?”
“Okay,” Jun said, getting up to pull the invoice he’d already sent to the printer.
“Thanks for coming in, have a good one!” Aiba said, heading back for the lab and leaving them together.
Jun went through the usual motions, showing the bill to Sho and noting each charge and what it cost. It was easy, slipping back into work mode, so long as he didn’t have to look Sho in the face.
“Aiba-sensei said you’re still friends with Nino.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”
“What’s he up to? I always thought he’d end up on some music show with his guitar.”
Jun took a deep breath. He couldn’t exactly tell Sho, who may as well have been a complete stranger now, what Nino actually did for a living. It was obvious Aiba hadn’t told him, thankfully. “He’s got some online store, he’s doing good. I’ll let him know you said hi.”
“That would be great,” Sho said, sliding a credit card across the counter instead of noticing that Jun had his hand out for it.
Jun ran Sho’s card and printed out his receipt. “Just sign here please.”
“You went to veterinary school?” Sho asked, pen poised over his receipt. He was demanding Jun’s attention now, leaning an elbow on the counter and looking up at him. All the memories they’d shared were flooding back, and Jun just wanted him to go. To take his daughter, the cat, and go.
“No. This is just…something for now.”
“Oh,” Sho replied, apologetic. He’d always been such a talkative person, back then. Jun wondered if that was still the case and if it was Jun that was the problem.
“You’ll get a reminder email in ten months about setting up a new appointment for the cat.”
“That’ll go to her mother?”
“Uh, yeah, whichever you prefer.”
“Send it to her mother.”
Jun made a note in the file on the computer to contact Ishihara Satomi next year as usual. “Congratulations. On the…on having a little girl.” He slid the lollipop across the counter. “She’s very cute.”
“She is,” Sho agreed, turning. “Saya-chan, this is for you.”
The little girl let out a cheer, scurrying over to snatch the lollipop from Sho’s hand with a mumbled thank you, dancing back to the cat with it in her hand.
“How old is she?”
“Almost five,” Sho said, and Jun’s heart was pounding when he saw the overwhelming, protective love that was plain on Sho’s face as he watched his little girl dance around the cat carrier. He had the same face, the same smile, but he wasn’t the same person. The Sho that Jun had known, that Jun had practically worshipped back then, he hadn’t been this way. He hadn’t been this…soft, this sweet.
Jun had never been the type of person to want to turn back the clock, to wish he could go back and do things differently. It was a waste of time, and he’d never look forward if all he did was look back. But seeing Sho again, whose life he’d wondered about from time to time for more than ten years, he did wish that it hadn’t been so abrupt.
There were half a dozen sentences composing themselves in his mind, half of which involved using Nino as a bridge, trying to get the three of them to meet up for a coffee or a drink sometime. They never made it past his lips.
“Matsujun,” Sho said once he had Saya-chan’s hand in his own once more. “It was really good to see you. I hope you’re doing well.”
There was an earnestness, a sincerity in Sho’s expression. Most of the time he’d been sarcastic, acting as though Jun’s behavior annoyed him more than anything. He’d grown up. Then again, the last time he’d seen Sakurai Sho, he’d been eighteen and angry at the world in the way most teenagers were.
“It was good to see you too. Take care.”
part two