(no subject)
Dramatic?
Probably.
I do have a lot, I am healthy, I have a nice house, a safe place to grow up, nice stuff, a free education.
And I love all of that.
And I am thankful.
And I know everyone is sick of this discussion.
But no one has to read this so if you are one of the many who think, "God Elizabeth, grow up, just stop talking about it, be positive," then stop reading.
She is mad at me.
And I know everything I did was my decision but I feel like I gave it all up for her.
"You're friends are lame, they dont' accept you for who you want to be," she said. Okay, ditched the friends, went with her.
"That school is so weird, you need to have experiences, go to Esco," she said. Okay, left the school.
"Don't keep trying to talk to them, they are over you, you don't fit in with them, hang with me," she said.
Okay, stopped talking to the real friends, the ones who care, who I made the best memories with.
Nevermind the contless people who tried to warn me to tell me. Nope, didn't listen to them, I thought, "Hell, they don't know, they just want me to stay Godly, I want to live, I want experiences."
Eff that.
I thought I could blow all of them off and then go back whenever I wanted. No. What a bitchy thing to think. So does that mean that I am one?
Yup.
And now when they don't want to hang out why am I surprised?
You blow someone off enough times and they stop trying.
I never use to be a flake.
But now I can't keep a committment to save my life.
And now she is mad.
I realized I left everything else and without her now I don't have much.
And so you say, "Gee, well just change back," but its not as easy as changing back. I have been trying to just go back to the way things were.
All people change, they have changed, they have all made new memories with each other.
I have changed.
Not all for the worse.
I wanted to be outgoing. Outgoing- check.
I wanted to be experienced. Experienced- check.
Probably.
I do have a lot, I am healthy, I have a nice house, a safe place to grow up, nice stuff, a free education.
And I love all of that.
And I am thankful.
And I know everyone is sick of this discussion.
But no one has to read this so if you are one of the many who think, "God Elizabeth, grow up, just stop talking about it, be positive," then stop reading.
She is mad at me.
And I know everything I did was my decision but I feel like I gave it all up for her.
"You're friends are lame, they dont' accept you for who you want to be," she said. Okay, ditched the friends, went with her.
"That school is so weird, you need to have experiences, go to Esco," she said. Okay, left the school.
"Don't keep trying to talk to them, they are over you, you don't fit in with them, hang with me," she said.
Okay, stopped talking to the real friends, the ones who care, who I made the best memories with.
Nevermind the contless people who tried to warn me to tell me. Nope, didn't listen to them, I thought, "Hell, they don't know, they just want me to stay Godly, I want to live, I want experiences."
Eff that.
I thought I could blow all of them off and then go back whenever I wanted. No. What a bitchy thing to think. So does that mean that I am one?
Yup.
And now when they don't want to hang out why am I surprised?
You blow someone off enough times and they stop trying.
I never use to be a flake.
But now I can't keep a committment to save my life.
And now she is mad.
I realized I left everything else and without her now I don't have much.
And so you say, "Gee, well just change back," but its not as easy as changing back. I have been trying to just go back to the way things were.
All people change, they have changed, they have all made new memories with each other.
I have changed.
Not all for the worse.
I wanted to be outgoing. Outgoing- check.
I wanted to be experienced. Experienced- check.