HELP PLZ

[asyouxlikeit]

Hey guys. So, post-emo mode and I have what I've written for ext2. PLEASE read it. I beg you. PLEASE give me con-crit. I will be forever greatful. (This is just the first 1,600something words. More will come soon.)

Comments

[kogepant]

This is fantastic! I'll be waiting for the phone call when you're ready to start filming. < 302

[asyouxlikeit]

xD Lol, thanks, T.

[onsoullessfeet]

I love this, y0. The narration and directions are HILARIOUS. xD
Srsly, this should be filmed.

[asyouxlikeit]

God, I'm glad it's funny! xD I was like 'oh dear, does it sound like I'm trying way too hard?'

I wish it could be. ;__;

[mentalmishap]

AWSOME AWSOME
so funny lol
if i was in the cinema ud defintly here me laughing *and more than usual*
:D

[parapluies_noir]

This was a great read!
It would be awesome to see a film version of this!
I really can imagine what the first few freeze frames would look like, so that's good. Um, Oh yeah go Martin Martin =D
Oh yeah ROSENBAUM =DDDD
And also this is just my opinion, but I thought the bit :

NARRATOR: Martin is thirty-six.

was a bit random, I thought it might be in the introduction of Martin.
Just a thought anyway.
I also liked the first date scene =)
Great script so far and I can't wait to read more of it!!