been awhile, i guess ( Read more... )

discussing time with keenan and occasionally glancing at the article i'm supposed to present in writer's craft on... i think friday. i should find out when. spoke to mark briefly (talk about briefly) on the phone to sort out the matter of the content questions... he sounded petrified ( Read more... )

talked to leigh today, at lunch... briefly.
i think i'm almost there. i think i'm almost ready. i'm angry now, not upset... and i'm confused, but... no. i think i'm finally there.

so, all those e-mails i swore i'd never send... i sent. i'm a fool ( Read more... )

swallowed my pride, made the approach. i pulled some bullshit topic of conversation out of thin air, something about keyboards, wesley and kaitlyn. i wonder if it was obvious that i was desperate to hear his voice. so i sat down, listened to him talk about MIDI files and looped tracks, and willed myself not to vomit every time he smiled. he was ( Read more... )

broke down, last night ( Read more... )

i feel like writing, but i'm... empty ( Read more... )

slept until almost five... i had frantic, only partially familiar dreams in rapid succession. when i dream, i never see faces or images clearly... i only feel presences, proximity. always someone that i'm very close to, family, or a very close friend. last night, each one was different, but they were all him ( Read more... )

long day ( Read more... )

haven't stopped eating for much longer than twenty minutes since dinner. i had soy nuts while i watched the OC... then an orange... more soy nuts while chatting with keenan and ron online and then some cheese... a bowl of cereal (i spilled milk in the keyboard), another orange. now i'm chewing on the last of a bag of lime and pepper flavoured ( Read more... )