Chapter Four ~ Something To Live For

[fallen_angel_db]

continued from here.

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for. Dag Hammerskjold

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[not_thyne]

Cup my hand around the back of David’s neck, feel muscle stretched taut, rock hard and pulsing and hair soaked with perspiration. Pull his face to mine, rise up halfway to meet him and he curls his fingers inside me and instinct kicks in and I bear down hard, and hard again. Teeth clenched, eyelids slammed shut and pinched tight, straining and riding the ripples of pleasure and tension that crest deep inside me, one after another. Whispers and hints of explosions to come. . .

Smell my body on his breath before I taste it, lick his mouth and take in the rough and sweet and soft as I grind into his hand, weight balanced on the small of my back and there will be bruises where my spine rocks into this warm, worn wood and it’s a small price to pay.

Suck my flavor from his mouth and swallow until I can taste us, pungent and bittersweet

[fallen_angel_db]

My cock throbs, my balls drawn up tight. Tension coils in my groin and orgasm flutters and twists in my abdomen. The muscles of my shoulders cramping, sending down wave after wave of pain into my arms to my wrists and fingers and nothing matters. Nothing at all but the blue of his eyes below me

[not_thyne]

Want and trust. Uncontrollable lust.

Wanton trust.

Roll my shoulders up from the floor, lean in close enough to share breath. I want to say the words, want to explain why, want to let him know that he’s the first in so many goddamn years. . .

The reasons why don’t matter, may never.

What matters is that I know what I want. And he’s leaning over me, seeking permission.

“What part of now do you not understand?”

[fallen_angel_db]

The sound of my laughter is muffled as I kiss him. Coming down to my elbows over his shoulders, lips to lips and his hips tilt just right. I push inside of him, my cock slipping into him slowly, slick with oil and precome. I feel TJ's heels press into the small of my back and the tight grip of his thighs around me.

My fingers tangle in his hair, our tongues touching briefly as we breath together. Low moans vibrating up from our chests to meet in the space above us and twist together.

An equally slow pull out, the beads shifting on my cock and the cross dangling between us. Sacrilege and heresy and exactly what religion should be about. Beauty and trust, honesty and intimacy so perfect that it overwhelms.

I've been here before, but never so frequently that I'll ever take this feeling for granted.

The blue of his eyes burns through my brain even when I close my eyes and sink back into his body. Feeling him surround me, arms and legs and mouth and hot, tight skin. Holding me. Finding me.

"Terrence ... so good, fuck ... so good."

[not_thyne]

He startles me into that weird no-space that’s almost like coming. That oasis of empty silence and bated breath that hits when there’s sudden news, or a turn in fortune or expectations, or that stadium concert moment when you realize you’re in the middle of something that’s unexpected and wild and way past your point of reference. When the floor drops out but you’re still standing. Hollow. Echoing. And full, somehow

[fallen_angel_db]

Smiling. Laughing. Fuck, I'm such a sucker for a man that can make me do both of those things and this too. I tighten my grip around our cocks. Memorizing the feel of him, just the way I once knew how to turn a football in my hands in brief seconds, while running and looking and finding and throwing.

Kissing him, letting him push my head back. Feeling the hard, cement wall of the tub behind my neck and the hot, steady press of his body in front of me. Our knees rubbing in the water, my hips arching up to get closer to him.

"I like the way you think, Terrence ..."

My free hand sliding down the smooth, muscled surface of his back to cup one round cheek of his ass and pull him. Bring him. Take him. Have him. Fingers slipping and dancing over his opening and back up. Drowning in the sweet spice of his lips and his tongue.

"I want more pancakes, TJ. More syrup, more butter ... more of this. More of you."

[not_thyne]

Tickling and teasing and apart from the hours we’ve spent I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve felt this comfortable with another person. Can’t get enough of our bodies together, can’t get enough of his skin on mine and the mad fluttering of my pulse in my throat every single fucking time he kisses me

[fallen_angel_db]

I move from kissing to sliding. Laughing to standing. Cursing and spitting water out of my mouth with a smile, to letting my head fall back as my neck bends and my spine arches. Feet slipping away from each other on the slick floor of the tub and TJ's mouth on my cock as hot water laps at my balls.

His tongue is the same temperature as the water that surrounds us, I think. Warmer, perhaps. Certainly better. My hands brush against the soft, thick curls at the back of his head and I am sighing with how good he feels at the same time I'm trying to maintain some kind, any kind of control over my body and not simply slam forward between his lips and beg him for more.

I can still see his eyes, even when mine are shut. Still feel his smile, when I'm not looking.

I can feel myself falling, even as I stand completely motionless. My heart racing. Breath catching in my throat under the moan that won't be silenced.

"Found me ... jesus ... yes