放下(Let go)
Title: 放下(Let Go)
Word Count: 925
Like a mirror, 16 years old Luhan does no preconception.
So when 14 years old Sehun comes along with blurred Chinese pronunciation and hooded black eyes, Luhan welcomes him with open arms.
Being in a country so foreign and new to Sehun, the introvert Korean automatically withdraws back into his hard, shiny shell. He does not utter a single word as the square face uncles give him prudential looks. Between the harsh streets of Beijing, he manages to perceive out the sharp language from the bystanders’ mutters about the mysterious man from the north. Even the people from his school avoid him as if he is a plague. As if different is contagious.
So when Luhan leaps towards him with a very sweet, “你好! (hello) ” and asks him to sit down with him, Sehun almost dropped the apple he is holding.
It is not that Sehun does not accept Luhan’s cordiality, but it is not as easy as it seems. Having travelled all around and getting familiar with a certain language before being wretch away again, Sehun finds it all too hard for his heart to settle down. And maybe because part of him too does not want to settle as well. It is so much easier to be flying above rather than to land and having to fly up again.
However, Luhan tries, even when the sky turns sullen, he follows Sehun back home to his dingy small apartment. And even when Sehun pushes him away with weak and fuzzy “不要，不要 (no, no) ’’, Luhan shakes his head and sits with him at the back of library anyway.
For a year, Luhan did that.
After a year, Sehun finally decides to land.
And a year is the longest Sehun is not taken away, yet.
Sometimes Luhan brings Sehun to hunt for bubble teas all over the streets of Beijing. They try every single flavor they can find. Days like these always end up with crescent eye smiles and tea stained teeth. The ends of fingers touch and warmth flood those pale cheeks. Or how secret glances will be around and shy smiles with teeth grazing their lips after sharing a new flavor. (They thought that they were in love.)
Sehun becomes Luhan’s only friend. Sometimes he does not understand why people stray away from an affable guy like him. He does not understand why a sociable guy like Luhan does not have many friends.
“为什么我?(why me)” Sehun lies down on the wet patch of grass next to Luhan. He turns his head to look at him, taking in rosy cheeks and fluttering lashes.
“没有什么你.(no reason)” Luhan replies curtly with his eyes close. Boldly, he moves his fingers towards Sehun’s and threads them together. He does not tell him how much he loves the black in his eyes and the point on his chin. How much he fell for the slight lisp in his speech and the pitch of his laughs. (Then, they really thought that this is love.)
A year and a half passed, and Sehun feels the ends of his toes tingling. He knows that it is coming; the inevitable has never left. Sehun knows that he cannot avoid his destiny and his cursed life. He adjourns this journey with a steel heart and plans to leave with it.
(But Luhan breaks through it all and all.)
Half a year later, Sehun realizes that one needs to love oneself in order for people to love them. He traces through the bumps on pallid and bony wrists as he heart breaks into a million-shatter pieces like a delicate ceramic pot.
It is full moon night, a piece of stolen mooncake from the store down below lies between them.
“我吃过更好的月饼。(I ate better mooncakes before)” Luhan pouts, with bits of the savory meal left at the corner of his lips.
Sehun stares at Luhan’s pink on his lips and wonders if this is what the color of love looks like.
“有一天我会带你去更好的月饼店。希望那时候我们不必用偷的这种方法来吃到。(One day, I will bring you to a better mooncake shop. Hopefully we do not have to resort to stealing then.)” Luhan continues as he licks the sticky substance away from his fingers.
Sehun nods and stares at the starless sky.
“如果没有那一天怎么办呢？(what is there isn’t that one day)”
“什么？(Huh)”
Sehun shakes his head.
Fiddling with Luhan fingers, Sehun mutters with his accented Chinese, “答应我一件事？(promise me something)”
“越是没有人爱，越要爱自己(The less loved you are by others, the more you have to love yourself)”
“为什么突然说这样的话？(why are you suddenly saying such things)”
“没什么，只是说说而已。(nothing, just saying)”
But still, Luhan cannot forgo the sour feeling at the bottom of his pits.
Like a wind, 16 years old Sehun left behind everything.
So when 18 years old Luhan picks it all up and tries to understand what it is like to love oneself.
(a/n) Yes this is an AU! And yes yes there is a sequel(a longer one) planned! I just want to rewind myself in the midst of my exams to write this hehe.
p/s not beta-ed so please pardon the grammatical errors ;;
Word Count: 925
Like a mirror, 16 years old Luhan does no preconception.
So when 14 years old Sehun comes along with blurred Chinese pronunciation and hooded black eyes, Luhan welcomes him with open arms.
Being in a country so foreign and new to Sehun, the introvert Korean automatically withdraws back into his hard, shiny shell. He does not utter a single word as the square face uncles give him prudential looks. Between the harsh streets of Beijing, he manages to perceive out the sharp language from the bystanders’ mutters about the mysterious man from the north. Even the people from his school avoid him as if he is a plague. As if different is contagious.
So when Luhan leaps towards him with a very sweet, “你好! (hello) ” and asks him to sit down with him, Sehun almost dropped the apple he is holding.
It is not that Sehun does not accept Luhan’s cordiality, but it is not as easy as it seems. Having travelled all around and getting familiar with a certain language before being wretch away again, Sehun finds it all too hard for his heart to settle down. And maybe because part of him too does not want to settle as well. It is so much easier to be flying above rather than to land and having to fly up again.
However, Luhan tries, even when the sky turns sullen, he follows Sehun back home to his dingy small apartment. And even when Sehun pushes him away with weak and fuzzy “不要，不要 (no, no) ’’, Luhan shakes his head and sits with him at the back of library anyway.
For a year, Luhan did that.
After a year, Sehun finally decides to land.
And a year is the longest Sehun is not taken away, yet.
Sometimes Luhan brings Sehun to hunt for bubble teas all over the streets of Beijing. They try every single flavor they can find. Days like these always end up with crescent eye smiles and tea stained teeth. The ends of fingers touch and warmth flood those pale cheeks. Or how secret glances will be around and shy smiles with teeth grazing their lips after sharing a new flavor. (They thought that they were in love.)
Sehun becomes Luhan’s only friend. Sometimes he does not understand why people stray away from an affable guy like him. He does not understand why a sociable guy like Luhan does not have many friends.
“为什么我?(why me)” Sehun lies down on the wet patch of grass next to Luhan. He turns his head to look at him, taking in rosy cheeks and fluttering lashes.
“没有什么你.(no reason)” Luhan replies curtly with his eyes close. Boldly, he moves his fingers towards Sehun’s and threads them together. He does not tell him how much he loves the black in his eyes and the point on his chin. How much he fell for the slight lisp in his speech and the pitch of his laughs. (Then, they really thought that this is love.)
A year and a half passed, and Sehun feels the ends of his toes tingling. He knows that it is coming; the inevitable has never left. Sehun knows that he cannot avoid his destiny and his cursed life. He adjourns this journey with a steel heart and plans to leave with it.
(But Luhan breaks through it all and all.)
Half a year later, Sehun realizes that one needs to love oneself in order for people to love them. He traces through the bumps on pallid and bony wrists as he heart breaks into a million-shatter pieces like a delicate ceramic pot.
It is full moon night, a piece of stolen mooncake from the store down below lies between them.
“我吃过更好的月饼。(I ate better mooncakes before)” Luhan pouts, with bits of the savory meal left at the corner of his lips.
Sehun stares at Luhan’s pink on his lips and wonders if this is what the color of love looks like.
“有一天我会带你去更好的月饼店。希望那时候我们不必用偷的这种方法来吃到。(One day, I will bring you to a better mooncake shop. Hopefully we do not have to resort to stealing then.)” Luhan continues as he licks the sticky substance away from his fingers.
Sehun nods and stares at the starless sky.
“如果没有那一天怎么办呢？(what is there isn’t that one day)”
“什么？(Huh)”
Sehun shakes his head.
Fiddling with Luhan fingers, Sehun mutters with his accented Chinese, “答应我一件事？(promise me something)”
“越是没有人爱，越要爱自己(The less loved you are by others, the more you have to love yourself)”
“为什么突然说这样的话？(why are you suddenly saying such things)”
“没什么，只是说说而已。(nothing, just saying)”
But still, Luhan cannot forgo the sour feeling at the bottom of his pits.
Like a wind, 16 years old Sehun left behind everything.
So when 18 years old Luhan picks it all up and tries to understand what it is like to love oneself.
(a/n) Yes this is an AU! And yes yes there is a sequel(a longer one) planned! I just want to rewind myself in the midst of my exams to write this hehe.
p/s not beta-ed so please pardon the grammatical errors ;;