Entry Eleven ♥
My night out with An-chan went as well as I had hoped~<333 She seemed to have the fun I had wanted for her, and I have no qualms in saying she looked beautiful~♥ She turned heads wherever we went. Which, of course, had been my aim all along! To prove to the silly girl that she is beautiful and special, and that she could have any man she should choose... so to be in no rush to choose someone who is not good enough for her.
No, we did not drink much. Though I will not say we did not drink~ The men we spoke to were perfect gentlemen, as I knew they would be~~♥ We danced. We had a good time. And then I brought her home with me where we watched some silly movies and ate almost all of the ice cream from our freezer~ It will all go to my hips, but it was so worth it~!
An-chan darling, I want to thank you. I had so much fun with you last night we must do it again sometime.
The Auction will be in two days, and so far everything seems to be in order~♥ We have our location and we have a lot of very handsome, very wonderful subjects up for auction. I hope you all join in and bid on these lovely young men~
Ah, if only I could have them all~♥ My own little harem~
Screened to Zaizen-kun: I want to apologise for not answering your question you posed to me the other day. With one thing and another... No, this is not an excuse. But from what I understand you did not need the advice at all~ :D You were more than capable of getting the girl on your own~♥
But I will say this; Age shouldn't truly matter. At least not this age difference. You are not too young so she is not too old. At the very least there is no harm in trying, as you have seen for yourself~ You didn't let your friends dissuade you and you asked, and you got the girl~♥ I wish you all the best with her! :D
I have a few letters that I would like to post. Letters I have been meaning to post for some time now. But I have been met with some... complications. I suppose you could all these complications 'attacks of conscience' on my part... I have suspicions... and I have found myself getting personally invested in these letters. ;_;
My ability to answer people's problems is my objectivity. Without that I can become bias, my advice is flawed. So I was wary of answering these letters... For once I found it very difficult... And I still do. But I have an obligation to uphold, I owe it to these people who have spent the time and energy to write to me, who have opened up their hearts and put to words their thoughts and their feelings. I owe it to them to withhold my own and to answer them. And that is what I will do here now.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I have been following your column in the paper for a while and have been thinking of writing for some time. You always give the very best advice, and whatever you say, I know it’ll be good and I should follow it. So I decided that I should write you about this problem I have. Well, not exactly a problem…but a feeling. A feeling I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel or not and maybe you can help me.
You see…I…have this friend. This friend of mine is very very popular. A lot of people like this friend. A lot of people. Only they’re always too shy or too intimidated by him or his fans to give him letters and stuff. You know, confession letters, love letters. That sort of thing. But they write them anyway…and they give them to me to give to him. Because I’m his friend and all. And I give them to him, because I am his friend…But I know that he really doesn’t read them. He says it’s not worth it if they can’t give them to him themselves…I sort of agree, but at the same time, I also sort of feel envious.
For one, I’ve never ever gotten a letter like that. Not even once, in my whole life. And it makes me sort of sad because he gets so many. It makes me sad because no one can give them to him on their own and because no one wants to give me anything like that… I also feel a little scared because I worry that if I ever wrote anything like that to him, he would just throw it out with all the others… But mostly, I think I’m a little jealous of him. Just once, I would like to find a letter in my locker addressed to me…even just one time, would be nice.
Is it okay? Is it okay to feel like that…he’s my very best friend. I’m not supposed to resent him… I’m supposed to feel happy for how lucky he is. But all I feel is sad and a bit angry, for myself for never getting them and for him…because he’ll never get one either…not the way he actually wants… Could you tell me if it’s okay to feel these feelings? And maybe…what should I do about them?
Always the mailman.
My Dear Mailman-kun,
I will start by explaining to you that this letter was one of the hardest I have ever read, and I'm hard pressed to understand why. I have been forced to do some soul searching of my own due to this, and I'm a little worried that my advice to you will be as impartial as I usually like to be!
The tone of this letter is so very innocent and so full of hurt, anyone would be have to be a hold hearted person not to be moved by your words. And the desire in this letter... That simple 'want' you crave, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You have to understand, my darling Mailman-kun, that everyone in this world has things they would like. Things they need. Things that would make them so happy to receive. And the world is also full of jealousy. Even I feel it from time to time. You being jealous of your friend does not make you a bad person. Not at all. It makes you human. They have something you want, something that is given to them so freely and you... never have. This, to me, is a crime. A crime that something so simple has been denied to you for so long that it has become a problem like this for you. Something as simple as a letter of love.
You sound like a wonderful man, Mailman-kun. And wonderful men can sometimes be overlooked. Sometimes their greatness is overshadowed by something, or someone, else. I could advise you to try to come out from that shadow, to show the world just how wonderful you are, show the world you deserve love letters just as much as anyone else does. But I fear that would take away some of your wonder. Some of that magic that is just you.
I wish with all of my heart that I could tell you what to do. All I can tell you is that what you are feeling is perfectly natural, it makes you no less a person for your feelings, and it can not possibly change how you feel about your friend. Wanting something is natural. I can only hope that you eventually get what it is you want. And as it is coming close to Christmas, I will make that my Christmas wish. I give it to you, dear Mailman-kun. I wish that this Christmas you get all that you want, need and desire. I hope that you will be able to smile, and to look upon your friend and know that you are loved just as much as he is.
And I wish you luck. All of the luck in the world.
~Aunt Taki~
[PRIVATE]
What do I do with these feelings... I can't trust my own advice or my own emotions. I have cared about them both so much, for such a long time, but I can't allow those feelings to get deeper. Can I? How could I... How could I do that to them? They're my very dear friends... Oh what can I do... I'm losing sleep. I'm making mistakes. This is not like me. This is not like me at all...