Story: Revelations (H/A, B) Rating R
deep breath
As I promised, here's the Hephaestion story. It actually did what I wanted it to. Yay me! Except the ending isn't as tight as I would like. Eh. Smut but not in great detail. Wasn't in the mood for writing detailed smut. But it does have sexual situations, so a nice medium ground there. Also found on my livejournal.
Revelations
by Bagoas Alexandros
All characters are historical figures. Story rights reserved 2004.
AN: I hate the title, but I couldn't think of anything else. (shrug)
(R for mild sexual situation between two consenting adult males)
He hadn't liked the look of things since the boy came in a few weeks earlier in the entourage of a former adviser of Darius. Alexander literally couldn't keep his eyes off the boy, a fact that had thrilled Hephaestion none at all. True, the eunuch was a gorgeous creature but there seemed little else to recommend him. At least nothing that had been revealed to Hephaestion.
He'd heard questionable things about eunuchs; they weren't trusted by Persian nobility, that was certain and telling. Persian nobles weren't exactly a trusty group themselves and if they didn't trust eunuchs - what on earth was Alexander doing with one in his chambers all the time? It wasn't sex, at least not yet. Hephaestion could assure himself on that score without hesitation. Alexander still loved him, physically and emotionally but yet ... there was something between this Bagoas and Alexander that Hephaestion could not bring himself to believe was in anyone's best interests except the eunuch's.
"Hephaestion?" He snapped back to reality and flushed slightly. Ptolemy's voice was tinged with patent disapproval, as if he sensed where Hephaestion's mind was; it certainly wasn't on the plans regarding following Bessos deep into Bactria. It would be a treacherous undertaking and one Hephaestion needed to be paying attention to, not mulling over his relations with a king.
A king, who was staring puzzledly at him. Hephaestion forced a smile. "My apologies, Ptolemy, my mind wandered. You were saying?"
Ptolemy's lips thinned and he directed their attention back to the map spread before them on the table in Alexander's tent. Hephaestion forced himself to pay attention. The intention held until he felt a prickle on the back of his neck, as if someone was staring at him from behind. He shifted his weight and turned his body casually in order to give a brief glance behind him. A curtain moved but the eavesdropper wasn't quick enough that Hephaestion didn't catch a glimpse of long hair, sheening like brown silk in the oil lamplight.
Bagoas.
Quickly Hephaestion surveyed his companions at the table to see if they'd noticed but their focus was still intent on the map. "Excuse me," he said, moving away and toward the back. "Alexander, I need to -" He let his voice trail off and immediately Philotas made a disaparaging remark about too much wine, causing laughter and smiles. Hephaestion slipped through to Alexander's private area and had a hand on Bagoas' arm before the eunuch realized he was there.
"What were you doing?" Hephaestion purposefully kept his tone low so as not to alert anyone in the next room. 'Guilty until proven innocent,' was something his father had drilled into him at an early age. No need to raise an alarm if Bagoas was merely drooling over Alexander.
The eunuch's brown eyes flashed angrily and he tried to jerk his arm away, but Hephaestion held firm. Bagoas did not answer.
"I said," Hephaestion ground out harshly, increasing the strength of his grip until the eunuch winced involuntarily, "what were you doing? I know you speak some Greek, Alexander told me."
"Listening," spat Bagoas and his hand swiped forward to slap Hephaestion's face. Hephaestion caught it easily.
"You fight like a girl," he stated contemptuously. Bagoas gasped, his face draining of color. Hephaestion felt guilty for a moment. Being a eunuch had not, he knew, been Bagoas' choice and that had been a cruel thing to say. True, not all eunuchs were for pleasure but it was obvious to anyone with half an eye and half a brain that Bagoas was cut just for that purpose. Sending someone this exquisite to war or a counting house was plain stupid, even if he did have a mind for it, which Hephaestion doubted.
"Any particular reason you were 'listening', Bagoas the eunuch," Hephaestion whispered dangerously. "Nazabarzanes would probably be very interested to know what plans Alexander has next in line, would he?"
The eunuch drew himself up proudly. 'If he's eighteen, I'm a Nubian,' Hephaestion thought to himself, noting the boy's youthfulness of manner.
"Undoubtedly Nazabarzanes would like to know, but I care not what Nazabarzanes wants. I care what Alexander is going to do next with that traitor." Bagoas all but spat the word 'traitor', as if it were the foulest word in the world, and had a taste that repulsed the palate. His long, noble nose even wrinkled as if he'd smelled a particularly rank pile of horse leavings.
"You mean Bessos?"
Bagoas nodded once and failed again to remove his arm from Hephaestion's grip. "Why do you care?" Hephaestion was truly puzzled. Surely the boy hadn't loved Darius?
Bagoas tilted his head back and stared straight into Hephaestion's eyes, brown meeting golden-brown. "He may not have been a king like Alexander, General Hephaestion, but Darius had a care for me. He treated me as well as could ever be expected for my kind. I feel honor bound to see him properly avenged."
Hephaestion smirked, amused by the boy's outrage and touched by his loyalty to a man who probably had not deserved it. "Ah. I see. Well, trust me, we're handling it. You," he shook the boy lightly just to shake him up a bit, "do not need to be listening in on private councils. It isn't becoming of your station."
"Known many eunuchs, have you, to know what my 'station' is?" challenged Bagoas, gritting his teeth against the shaking.
The question backed Hephaestion up a bit. The boy had a point. He didn't have any clue what eunuchs did when they weren't doing...whatever it is they were castrated to do. Maybe they were *supposed* to be court spies. It would certainly explain the dislike Persian nobles had for them. He wouldn't trust anyone who possibly could be a spy either.
"You're jealous," Bagoas hissed, directing Hephaestion's attention from his thoughts back to the boy. "I have his attention now and you do not!" He jerked his head to where the generals were still deep in council with Alexander. Hephaestion could hear Ptolemy's deep rumbling bass mingled in argument with Alexander's tenor and Philotas' baritone.
"Do you, little Persian boy?" asked Hephaestion softly, wonderingly. Did he? "Do you really think you do?"
Bagoas smirked confidently. "As someone trained in these matters, General Hephaestion, I assure you I know I do."
"So you've been together have you? He's taken you to his bed?" Hephaestion already knew the answer to that question. No. Bagoas looked aggrieved to have to confirm Hephaestion's with a head shake. "Then you apparently do not know much about Alexander. He loves, Bagoas, and it takes a lot to make him stop loving. You cannot take him from anyone, he merely lets you into the circle. If he lets you in, then I will welcome you. If he does not, I advise you not to make a nuisance of yourself or you'll be finding a new protector."
Bagoas hissed like a fierce little wild cat, eyes flashing and teeth bared, but he said nothing else.
"Don't," reprimanded Hephaestion one last time as he released the boy's arm, "listen in on private council again, do you understand me? Or I'll report it to Alexander."
Bagoas tensed and looked away, rubbing his arm absently. "You will not tell Alexander this time?" The boy's voice sounded breathless of a sudden. Hephaestion wondered why.
"No, there's no need. Bagoas, Persian etiquette must be different from Greek and Macedonian. You must realize you are not in a Persian court but a Macedonian one. Learn the rules through mistakes if you must, but keep the mistakes small. You will get only one pardon." Hephaestion watched as the boy looked at him incredulously. "What?"
"I am a rival, we both know it, yet you do not take advantage to rid yourself of me." Bagoas hesitated and then plunged on. "Why?"
'Why indeed?' Hephaestion thought. "Because Alexander wouldn't have installed you here," his arm made a sweeping gesture to encompass the room, "if he didn't need you or want you." 'That was true enough,' he thought with a sinking heart. "I have no right to question my king's needs or wants, but," he warned stepping forward threateningly, "if you betray him, if you hurt him, there won't be a rock you can crawl under, a soldier you can hide behind that I won't go through to get to you. Are we clear?"
Bagoas regarded him solemnly. "As a mountain stream, General Hephaestion, just make sure you follow your own advice."
Hephaestion snorted. As if he could hurt Alexander. He'd rather chop off his own head or burn himself alive first.
"Hephaestion, what are you doing?" Alexander came stalking through the curtained door and stared at the two of them. "What goes on here?" he demanded.
"Nothing," sighed Hephaestion. Bagoas merely looked at Alexander with bedroom eyes that made Hephaestion squeamish with jealousy, especially when he saw Alexander's grey eyes spark. "Bagoas asked me a question about protocol and I answered him. That's all. It was a lengthy explanation."
"The meeting is over," reprimanded Alexander, as they walked back through the curtain. Hephaestion resisted the temptation to see if Alexander looked at the eunuch over his shoulder.
"What was decided then?"
Alexander frowned at him. "Ptolemy won. It was a sound argument. We head for the Kush."
Hephaestion sighed. "Mountains are better than desert, I suppose. At least there's water." Alexander laughed, throwing his head back and revealing a slightly reddened throat where he'd been rubbing it in thought. It was a nervous habit many of his friends had given up trying to train him out of for years.
When the laughter stopped, Hephaestion felt Alexander's eyes on him, but refused to turn around. He instead stared at the map, to the marks left by the generals only moments earlier. He didn't really see them, the marks, he just used it as an excuse not to watch Alexander. With the eunuch in the other room, looking sumptuous enough to eat, he didn't want to see Alexander's undoubtedly longing looks in that direction.
"Come, I'll walk you to your tent." Alexander's command, and that is what it was, took Hephaestion by surprise. Rarely did he hear that tone directed at him in private. It usually meant Hephaestion was going to get scolded for something.
Knowing it was useless to argue, Hephaestion inwardly sighed and outwardly smiled and nodded. His eyes must have reflected his wariness at the command, for Alexander only chuckled and patted him on the back. "I only wish to talk," he assured the taller man.
"That usually implies trouble for me, Alexander," Hephaestion answered, following Alexander out of the tent. They passed the pages on duty, nodding to them as they snapped to attention.
"Nonsense, you haven't been in trouble with me since Issus when you were injured," countered Alexander.
"Yes, well, it was a battle. Injuries are to be expected." Hephaestion felt obliged to add, "You wouldn't let me get angry when you took a bolt to the shoulder because you weren't paying attention to the fire around you but you exploded at me when I got knocked off my horse by a javelin and fought on foot most of my opponents until backup arrived."
Alexander sent him a repressive frown. "You know what you mean to me," he said in a low voice as they approached Hephaestion's tent.
It was the opening Hephaestion had been recently dreaming about but was hesitant to wish for. He took it. "Do I?"
Alexander was startled. "What do you mean, do you?"
Hephaestion stopped at his tent flap and stared at the stripes in the heavy, rugged material. "Do I mean the same to you as I once did?"
He found himself jerked around and Alexander's furious countenance, a terrifying sight to behold, snarling at him. "Don't you ever doubt my love for you!" he all but shouted.
Hephaestion's head whipped about and he propelled Alexander into his tent, fumbling for the oil lamp and lighting it with trembling hands with the flints. "Not out there!" he rasped heavily.
Alexander jerked him back to face him, still furious, once the lamp was lit and burning brightly. "Face me! Do you doubt me?"
Unable to look away and not wanting to see, Hephaestion pushed a hand through his hair, dragging in ragged breaths. "Since the eunuch..." Alexander's face went white. "Yes, Alexander, I do." Hephaestion gave a hollow laugh and held his hands out from his body in a bid of 'look at me'. "You still show public affection for me, but I see it in your eyes, Alexander. You watch him. You desire him. You want him with every fiber of your being. In the way that I need you, you need him. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Alexander said nothing, his grey eyes still burning with an unholy gleam. "Maybe it's not you I doubt, but myself. If you can turn away from me so easily for *him*, a shiny new toy, then what am I? I know I'm no great general like Parmenio or Ptolemy. I'm not the consumate soldier and orator that Philotas is. I'm just Hephaestion, son of a low nobleman in back of beyond Macedon, who by some perverse will of the gods, got the attention and affection of you, the golden Alexander. I know my place in this army and that is behind you, literally to some, if you catch my meaning." Alexander flushed, but whether from anger or embarassment at the plain talk, Hephaestion did not know or care. The words came pouring out of him like a poison, purging his system.
"I like to build things. You know this. I've always liked to construct things. I joined you, not just because I love you so much it hurts me every moment I'm not in your presence, but because you will give me the opportunity to use my knowledge, my tiny gift. Give me a river, Alexander, and I'll give you a way to cross it. Give me a site and I'll make you a city. Give me the stone and I'll create the greatest monument to my love the world will ever see. That is all I am, though, all I ever will be." Hephaestion gave a hollow laugh, mocking himself but Alexander's expression did not change.
Instead he reached over and pulled Hephaestion to him, dragging his head down into a kiss. It was deep and full of passion. Desire flamed between them. They broke for air but Alexander pulled him back down again. Hephaestion felt himself sinking; he thought it was in his head but when they broke for air next, the soft Persian rugs crinkled beneath him. Alexander sprawled atop him.
"If you ever doubt my love for you again, Hephaestion, son of Amyntoros, I will personally beat you about the head with your own cuirass." Alexander's words were impassioned and his voice husky with desire. "Now if you don't mind, I need you...now!"
Hephaestion laughed giddily but obliged, kissing Alexander with equal fervor, letting his hands explore Alexander's body freely. How well he knew that body, and how surprised was he each time when he discovered something new about it. That was the gift of Alexander; you could never predict him. He was never the same twice.
Tonight he was demanding, fierce as a lion, insisting on being wild and untamed as they reached ecstasy. Hephaestion felt the tension build in his groin, felt himself thrust one last time with a shout that sounded like Alexander's name. Alexander clawed at his back, raking his nails as he too found his own release, collapsing on Hephaestion. They sprawled on the expensive carpets near the bedside table where Hephaestion kept his linaments and oils. The air smelled heavily of sex and the unguent Hephaestion had used to slick their bodies for joining.
"I desire Bagoas," Alexander said at last when their hearts stopped beating as if they would burst. Hephaestion tensed and froze. "But I do not love him," the young king continued, ignoring Hephaestion's reaction.
"Could you love him?" Hephaestion asked brokenly. He shouldn't ask, it would only hurt to know the answer.
Alexander lifted his head, golden locks hanging into his eyes. He impatiently brushed them aside and placed a tender kiss on Hephaestion's chin. "Yes, I could love him, but never as I love you." He clutched Hephaestion tightly, fiercely. "Never. You are my everything. Without you, Hephaestion, there is no point to doing any of this. That is what you are to me, to this army. You are my reason for any of this." Alexander sighed. "You know logistics, Hephaestion, better than any of the others. Even Philotas acknowledges that, and he never acknowledges anyone could be better than him, except perhaps me and that's grudgingly. Give you a job and you can immediately tell us all the problems involved with the plan. You see it as a whole, not in steps. You see the problems, the pitfalls long before any of us do. Do you think that is not a gift, a necessary element to running this army?"
Alexander laughed mockingly. "The more I conquor, the more work I wind up doing. Funny how Father never pointed out that part of the deal."
Hephaestion grinned. "Likely he never considered taking on as much as you have, Alexander. You have to admit, you have taken his plans a bit farther than he'd have gone."
"And you've been beside me every step of the way," Alexander told him, nudging his lover's chin down to look straight at each other.
"More like running with the rest of the pack to figure out where you've gone to next," Hephaestion said wryly. Alexander had the grace to look chagrined at the reminder of the boyhood exploits where Alexander led and the others followed at a dead run to keep up.
"The point, my obtuse, beautiful, adoring, love, is that I need you, I love you and I won't tolerate any more of this moping about and picking on Bagoas." Alexander affected a stern look that was belied by the grin that twitched the corner of his mouth.
"I wasn't picking on him! He was - " Hephaestion clamped his mouth shut, remembering his promise to Bagoas.
Alexander looked at him curiously, rubbing a hand absently over the scar on Hephaestion's left side. "He was what?"
"Nothing," Hephaestion mumbled. "I was saying that he lacks knowledge about the way we run things around here. This isn't a Persian court, he could get into serious trouble over a trifle misunderstanding blown out of proportion."
Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you were lecturing to him about?"
"I don't lecture!"
"Oh no, sure you don't," intoned Alexander disbelievingly. Hephaestion grunted in response. "I'm not so certain that this isn't turning into a Persian court." Hephaestion gaped at him. "No, no, think about it. There's enough Persian court trappings around here and we are in Persia, not Macedon. It might not be amiss to compromise for the sake of keeping the peace in camp."
"That will not go over well with the troops, let alone your generals," Hephaestion warned, responding to Alexander's feather-light caresses.
"I know," sighed Alexander, "but logistically can you think of another way?"
Hephaestion captured Alexander's hand to stop the torment a moment so he could think. "No," he conceded after a few moments thought, "not at the moment."
"I couldn't either and I've been thinking about this for weeks now."
That got Hephaestion's attention. "Weeks? Since what 'weeks'?"
Alexander frowned. "Since I took Bagoas into service. He's been unquestionably a prime source in protocol. He smoothed several feathers that I unintentionally ruffled during some audience a couple of weeks ago. Apparently I didn't know the proper order for the nobles to be received. You know we don't stand on that high a ceremony in Macedon. There was practically going to be a rebellion in my audience tent, I thought, but Bagaos quickly and efficiently smoothed it over and introduced everyone properly and with the correct etiquette. I've been insisting on lessons in Persian court etiquette ever since. It was pretty tense there for several minutes."
Hephaestion was aghast. "You are joking with me." Alexander shook his head negatively. "That diminutive, timid, brainless thing smoothed over what possibly could have been a diplomatic incident?"
Alexander grinned. "Not as brainless as you thought, then, is he?" Hephaestion couldn't formulate a reply. "He speaks three Persian languages, a very healthy amount of Greek just by listening to ambassadors talking in hallways he said, can do ciphers but can't write and knows more about Persian history than anyone I've ever met before." Hephaestion listened in awe as Alexander listed the eunuch's rather astonishing knowledge and abilities. "According to other eunuchs I surreptitiously had interviewed, Bagoas was known for not currying favor with any factions. He seemed to prefer to remain the favorite and thus in a somewhat stable position." Alexander eyed Hephaestion a moment. "Very shrew, my Bagoas."
"Your Bagoas, hmm?" Hephaestion grumbled.
"Yes, but my Hephaestion wearies of talk of handsome younger men and requires the sleep of the aged and infirmed," teased Alexander.
"I have less than a year on you," Hephaestion reminded him with a grin. "Don't talk too bad about me. In this you are one step behind."
Alexander kissed him long and deep before getting off him. "I know. I don't mind. In fact, I rather like it." He waggled golden eyebrows and Hephaestion rolled his eyes heavenward.
"Zeus preserve me from Alexander's overwhelming hubris."
Alexander kissed Hephaestion's chest, laving it with his tongue and causing Hephaestion to groan. "Hubris. Is it hubris to know I can make you do this every time?" Hephaestion bucked involuntarily as Alexander's hand closed around his member. A groan issued from both of them, low and growling in the back of their throats.
"That's it. You pay." Hephaestion tossed Alexander to the large cot. Thoughts of Persians and eunuchs left and they thought only of each other.
B
As I promised, here's the Hephaestion story. It actually did what I wanted it to. Yay me! Except the ending isn't as tight as I would like. Eh. Smut but not in great detail. Wasn't in the mood for writing detailed smut. But it does have sexual situations, so a nice medium ground there. Also found on my livejournal.
Revelations
by Bagoas Alexandros
All characters are historical figures. Story rights reserved 2004.
AN: I hate the title, but I couldn't think of anything else. (shrug)
(R for mild sexual situation between two consenting adult males)
He hadn't liked the look of things since the boy came in a few weeks earlier in the entourage of a former adviser of Darius. Alexander literally couldn't keep his eyes off the boy, a fact that had thrilled Hephaestion none at all. True, the eunuch was a gorgeous creature but there seemed little else to recommend him. At least nothing that had been revealed to Hephaestion.
He'd heard questionable things about eunuchs; they weren't trusted by Persian nobility, that was certain and telling. Persian nobles weren't exactly a trusty group themselves and if they didn't trust eunuchs - what on earth was Alexander doing with one in his chambers all the time? It wasn't sex, at least not yet. Hephaestion could assure himself on that score without hesitation. Alexander still loved him, physically and emotionally but yet ... there was something between this Bagoas and Alexander that Hephaestion could not bring himself to believe was in anyone's best interests except the eunuch's.
"Hephaestion?" He snapped back to reality and flushed slightly. Ptolemy's voice was tinged with patent disapproval, as if he sensed where Hephaestion's mind was; it certainly wasn't on the plans regarding following Bessos deep into Bactria. It would be a treacherous undertaking and one Hephaestion needed to be paying attention to, not mulling over his relations with a king.
A king, who was staring puzzledly at him. Hephaestion forced a smile. "My apologies, Ptolemy, my mind wandered. You were saying?"
Ptolemy's lips thinned and he directed their attention back to the map spread before them on the table in Alexander's tent. Hephaestion forced himself to pay attention. The intention held until he felt a prickle on the back of his neck, as if someone was staring at him from behind. He shifted his weight and turned his body casually in order to give a brief glance behind him. A curtain moved but the eavesdropper wasn't quick enough that Hephaestion didn't catch a glimpse of long hair, sheening like brown silk in the oil lamplight.
Bagoas.
Quickly Hephaestion surveyed his companions at the table to see if they'd noticed but their focus was still intent on the map. "Excuse me," he said, moving away and toward the back. "Alexander, I need to -" He let his voice trail off and immediately Philotas made a disaparaging remark about too much wine, causing laughter and smiles. Hephaestion slipped through to Alexander's private area and had a hand on Bagoas' arm before the eunuch realized he was there.
"What were you doing?" Hephaestion purposefully kept his tone low so as not to alert anyone in the next room. 'Guilty until proven innocent,' was something his father had drilled into him at an early age. No need to raise an alarm if Bagoas was merely drooling over Alexander.
The eunuch's brown eyes flashed angrily and he tried to jerk his arm away, but Hephaestion held firm. Bagoas did not answer.
"I said," Hephaestion ground out harshly, increasing the strength of his grip until the eunuch winced involuntarily, "what were you doing? I know you speak some Greek, Alexander told me."
"Listening," spat Bagoas and his hand swiped forward to slap Hephaestion's face. Hephaestion caught it easily.
"You fight like a girl," he stated contemptuously. Bagoas gasped, his face draining of color. Hephaestion felt guilty for a moment. Being a eunuch had not, he knew, been Bagoas' choice and that had been a cruel thing to say. True, not all eunuchs were for pleasure but it was obvious to anyone with half an eye and half a brain that Bagoas was cut just for that purpose. Sending someone this exquisite to war or a counting house was plain stupid, even if he did have a mind for it, which Hephaestion doubted.
"Any particular reason you were 'listening', Bagoas the eunuch," Hephaestion whispered dangerously. "Nazabarzanes would probably be very interested to know what plans Alexander has next in line, would he?"
The eunuch drew himself up proudly. 'If he's eighteen, I'm a Nubian,' Hephaestion thought to himself, noting the boy's youthfulness of manner.
"Undoubtedly Nazabarzanes would like to know, but I care not what Nazabarzanes wants. I care what Alexander is going to do next with that traitor." Bagoas all but spat the word 'traitor', as if it were the foulest word in the world, and had a taste that repulsed the palate. His long, noble nose even wrinkled as if he'd smelled a particularly rank pile of horse leavings.
"You mean Bessos?"
Bagoas nodded once and failed again to remove his arm from Hephaestion's grip. "Why do you care?" Hephaestion was truly puzzled. Surely the boy hadn't loved Darius?
Bagoas tilted his head back and stared straight into Hephaestion's eyes, brown meeting golden-brown. "He may not have been a king like Alexander, General Hephaestion, but Darius had a care for me. He treated me as well as could ever be expected for my kind. I feel honor bound to see him properly avenged."
Hephaestion smirked, amused by the boy's outrage and touched by his loyalty to a man who probably had not deserved it. "Ah. I see. Well, trust me, we're handling it. You," he shook the boy lightly just to shake him up a bit, "do not need to be listening in on private councils. It isn't becoming of your station."
"Known many eunuchs, have you, to know what my 'station' is?" challenged Bagoas, gritting his teeth against the shaking.
The question backed Hephaestion up a bit. The boy had a point. He didn't have any clue what eunuchs did when they weren't doing...whatever it is they were castrated to do. Maybe they were *supposed* to be court spies. It would certainly explain the dislike Persian nobles had for them. He wouldn't trust anyone who possibly could be a spy either.
"You're jealous," Bagoas hissed, directing Hephaestion's attention from his thoughts back to the boy. "I have his attention now and you do not!" He jerked his head to where the generals were still deep in council with Alexander. Hephaestion could hear Ptolemy's deep rumbling bass mingled in argument with Alexander's tenor and Philotas' baritone.
"Do you, little Persian boy?" asked Hephaestion softly, wonderingly. Did he? "Do you really think you do?"
Bagoas smirked confidently. "As someone trained in these matters, General Hephaestion, I assure you I know I do."
"So you've been together have you? He's taken you to his bed?" Hephaestion already knew the answer to that question. No. Bagoas looked aggrieved to have to confirm Hephaestion's with a head shake. "Then you apparently do not know much about Alexander. He loves, Bagoas, and it takes a lot to make him stop loving. You cannot take him from anyone, he merely lets you into the circle. If he lets you in, then I will welcome you. If he does not, I advise you not to make a nuisance of yourself or you'll be finding a new protector."
Bagoas hissed like a fierce little wild cat, eyes flashing and teeth bared, but he said nothing else.
"Don't," reprimanded Hephaestion one last time as he released the boy's arm, "listen in on private council again, do you understand me? Or I'll report it to Alexander."
Bagoas tensed and looked away, rubbing his arm absently. "You will not tell Alexander this time?" The boy's voice sounded breathless of a sudden. Hephaestion wondered why.
"No, there's no need. Bagoas, Persian etiquette must be different from Greek and Macedonian. You must realize you are not in a Persian court but a Macedonian one. Learn the rules through mistakes if you must, but keep the mistakes small. You will get only one pardon." Hephaestion watched as the boy looked at him incredulously. "What?"
"I am a rival, we both know it, yet you do not take advantage to rid yourself of me." Bagoas hesitated and then plunged on. "Why?"
'Why indeed?' Hephaestion thought. "Because Alexander wouldn't have installed you here," his arm made a sweeping gesture to encompass the room, "if he didn't need you or want you." 'That was true enough,' he thought with a sinking heart. "I have no right to question my king's needs or wants, but," he warned stepping forward threateningly, "if you betray him, if you hurt him, there won't be a rock you can crawl under, a soldier you can hide behind that I won't go through to get to you. Are we clear?"
Bagoas regarded him solemnly. "As a mountain stream, General Hephaestion, just make sure you follow your own advice."
Hephaestion snorted. As if he could hurt Alexander. He'd rather chop off his own head or burn himself alive first.
"Hephaestion, what are you doing?" Alexander came stalking through the curtained door and stared at the two of them. "What goes on here?" he demanded.
"Nothing," sighed Hephaestion. Bagoas merely looked at Alexander with bedroom eyes that made Hephaestion squeamish with jealousy, especially when he saw Alexander's grey eyes spark. "Bagoas asked me a question about protocol and I answered him. That's all. It was a lengthy explanation."
"The meeting is over," reprimanded Alexander, as they walked back through the curtain. Hephaestion resisted the temptation to see if Alexander looked at the eunuch over his shoulder.
"What was decided then?"
Alexander frowned at him. "Ptolemy won. It was a sound argument. We head for the Kush."
Hephaestion sighed. "Mountains are better than desert, I suppose. At least there's water." Alexander laughed, throwing his head back and revealing a slightly reddened throat where he'd been rubbing it in thought. It was a nervous habit many of his friends had given up trying to train him out of for years.
When the laughter stopped, Hephaestion felt Alexander's eyes on him, but refused to turn around. He instead stared at the map, to the marks left by the generals only moments earlier. He didn't really see them, the marks, he just used it as an excuse not to watch Alexander. With the eunuch in the other room, looking sumptuous enough to eat, he didn't want to see Alexander's undoubtedly longing looks in that direction.
"Come, I'll walk you to your tent." Alexander's command, and that is what it was, took Hephaestion by surprise. Rarely did he hear that tone directed at him in private. It usually meant Hephaestion was going to get scolded for something.
Knowing it was useless to argue, Hephaestion inwardly sighed and outwardly smiled and nodded. His eyes must have reflected his wariness at the command, for Alexander only chuckled and patted him on the back. "I only wish to talk," he assured the taller man.
"That usually implies trouble for me, Alexander," Hephaestion answered, following Alexander out of the tent. They passed the pages on duty, nodding to them as they snapped to attention.
"Nonsense, you haven't been in trouble with me since Issus when you were injured," countered Alexander.
"Yes, well, it was a battle. Injuries are to be expected." Hephaestion felt obliged to add, "You wouldn't let me get angry when you took a bolt to the shoulder because you weren't paying attention to the fire around you but you exploded at me when I got knocked off my horse by a javelin and fought on foot most of my opponents until backup arrived."
Alexander sent him a repressive frown. "You know what you mean to me," he said in a low voice as they approached Hephaestion's tent.
It was the opening Hephaestion had been recently dreaming about but was hesitant to wish for. He took it. "Do I?"
Alexander was startled. "What do you mean, do you?"
Hephaestion stopped at his tent flap and stared at the stripes in the heavy, rugged material. "Do I mean the same to you as I once did?"
He found himself jerked around and Alexander's furious countenance, a terrifying sight to behold, snarling at him. "Don't you ever doubt my love for you!" he all but shouted.
Hephaestion's head whipped about and he propelled Alexander into his tent, fumbling for the oil lamp and lighting it with trembling hands with the flints. "Not out there!" he rasped heavily.
Alexander jerked him back to face him, still furious, once the lamp was lit and burning brightly. "Face me! Do you doubt me?"
Unable to look away and not wanting to see, Hephaestion pushed a hand through his hair, dragging in ragged breaths. "Since the eunuch..." Alexander's face went white. "Yes, Alexander, I do." Hephaestion gave a hollow laugh and held his hands out from his body in a bid of 'look at me'. "You still show public affection for me, but I see it in your eyes, Alexander. You watch him. You desire him. You want him with every fiber of your being. In the way that I need you, you need him. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Alexander said nothing, his grey eyes still burning with an unholy gleam. "Maybe it's not you I doubt, but myself. If you can turn away from me so easily for *him*, a shiny new toy, then what am I? I know I'm no great general like Parmenio or Ptolemy. I'm not the consumate soldier and orator that Philotas is. I'm just Hephaestion, son of a low nobleman in back of beyond Macedon, who by some perverse will of the gods, got the attention and affection of you, the golden Alexander. I know my place in this army and that is behind you, literally to some, if you catch my meaning." Alexander flushed, but whether from anger or embarassment at the plain talk, Hephaestion did not know or care. The words came pouring out of him like a poison, purging his system.
"I like to build things. You know this. I've always liked to construct things. I joined you, not just because I love you so much it hurts me every moment I'm not in your presence, but because you will give me the opportunity to use my knowledge, my tiny gift. Give me a river, Alexander, and I'll give you a way to cross it. Give me a site and I'll make you a city. Give me the stone and I'll create the greatest monument to my love the world will ever see. That is all I am, though, all I ever will be." Hephaestion gave a hollow laugh, mocking himself but Alexander's expression did not change.
Instead he reached over and pulled Hephaestion to him, dragging his head down into a kiss. It was deep and full of passion. Desire flamed between them. They broke for air but Alexander pulled him back down again. Hephaestion felt himself sinking; he thought it was in his head but when they broke for air next, the soft Persian rugs crinkled beneath him. Alexander sprawled atop him.
"If you ever doubt my love for you again, Hephaestion, son of Amyntoros, I will personally beat you about the head with your own cuirass." Alexander's words were impassioned and his voice husky with desire. "Now if you don't mind, I need you...now!"
Hephaestion laughed giddily but obliged, kissing Alexander with equal fervor, letting his hands explore Alexander's body freely. How well he knew that body, and how surprised was he each time when he discovered something new about it. That was the gift of Alexander; you could never predict him. He was never the same twice.
Tonight he was demanding, fierce as a lion, insisting on being wild and untamed as they reached ecstasy. Hephaestion felt the tension build in his groin, felt himself thrust one last time with a shout that sounded like Alexander's name. Alexander clawed at his back, raking his nails as he too found his own release, collapsing on Hephaestion. They sprawled on the expensive carpets near the bedside table where Hephaestion kept his linaments and oils. The air smelled heavily of sex and the unguent Hephaestion had used to slick their bodies for joining.
"I desire Bagoas," Alexander said at last when their hearts stopped beating as if they would burst. Hephaestion tensed and froze. "But I do not love him," the young king continued, ignoring Hephaestion's reaction.
"Could you love him?" Hephaestion asked brokenly. He shouldn't ask, it would only hurt to know the answer.
Alexander lifted his head, golden locks hanging into his eyes. He impatiently brushed them aside and placed a tender kiss on Hephaestion's chin. "Yes, I could love him, but never as I love you." He clutched Hephaestion tightly, fiercely. "Never. You are my everything. Without you, Hephaestion, there is no point to doing any of this. That is what you are to me, to this army. You are my reason for any of this." Alexander sighed. "You know logistics, Hephaestion, better than any of the others. Even Philotas acknowledges that, and he never acknowledges anyone could be better than him, except perhaps me and that's grudgingly. Give you a job and you can immediately tell us all the problems involved with the plan. You see it as a whole, not in steps. You see the problems, the pitfalls long before any of us do. Do you think that is not a gift, a necessary element to running this army?"
Alexander laughed mockingly. "The more I conquor, the more work I wind up doing. Funny how Father never pointed out that part of the deal."
Hephaestion grinned. "Likely he never considered taking on as much as you have, Alexander. You have to admit, you have taken his plans a bit farther than he'd have gone."
"And you've been beside me every step of the way," Alexander told him, nudging his lover's chin down to look straight at each other.
"More like running with the rest of the pack to figure out where you've gone to next," Hephaestion said wryly. Alexander had the grace to look chagrined at the reminder of the boyhood exploits where Alexander led and the others followed at a dead run to keep up.
"The point, my obtuse, beautiful, adoring, love, is that I need you, I love you and I won't tolerate any more of this moping about and picking on Bagoas." Alexander affected a stern look that was belied by the grin that twitched the corner of his mouth.
"I wasn't picking on him! He was - " Hephaestion clamped his mouth shut, remembering his promise to Bagoas.
Alexander looked at him curiously, rubbing a hand absently over the scar on Hephaestion's left side. "He was what?"
"Nothing," Hephaestion mumbled. "I was saying that he lacks knowledge about the way we run things around here. This isn't a Persian court, he could get into serious trouble over a trifle misunderstanding blown out of proportion."
Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you were lecturing to him about?"
"I don't lecture!"
"Oh no, sure you don't," intoned Alexander disbelievingly. Hephaestion grunted in response. "I'm not so certain that this isn't turning into a Persian court." Hephaestion gaped at him. "No, no, think about it. There's enough Persian court trappings around here and we are in Persia, not Macedon. It might not be amiss to compromise for the sake of keeping the peace in camp."
"That will not go over well with the troops, let alone your generals," Hephaestion warned, responding to Alexander's feather-light caresses.
"I know," sighed Alexander, "but logistically can you think of another way?"
Hephaestion captured Alexander's hand to stop the torment a moment so he could think. "No," he conceded after a few moments thought, "not at the moment."
"I couldn't either and I've been thinking about this for weeks now."
That got Hephaestion's attention. "Weeks? Since what 'weeks'?"
Alexander frowned. "Since I took Bagoas into service. He's been unquestionably a prime source in protocol. He smoothed several feathers that I unintentionally ruffled during some audience a couple of weeks ago. Apparently I didn't know the proper order for the nobles to be received. You know we don't stand on that high a ceremony in Macedon. There was practically going to be a rebellion in my audience tent, I thought, but Bagaos quickly and efficiently smoothed it over and introduced everyone properly and with the correct etiquette. I've been insisting on lessons in Persian court etiquette ever since. It was pretty tense there for several minutes."
Hephaestion was aghast. "You are joking with me." Alexander shook his head negatively. "That diminutive, timid, brainless thing smoothed over what possibly could have been a diplomatic incident?"
Alexander grinned. "Not as brainless as you thought, then, is he?" Hephaestion couldn't formulate a reply. "He speaks three Persian languages, a very healthy amount of Greek just by listening to ambassadors talking in hallways he said, can do ciphers but can't write and knows more about Persian history than anyone I've ever met before." Hephaestion listened in awe as Alexander listed the eunuch's rather astonishing knowledge and abilities. "According to other eunuchs I surreptitiously had interviewed, Bagoas was known for not currying favor with any factions. He seemed to prefer to remain the favorite and thus in a somewhat stable position." Alexander eyed Hephaestion a moment. "Very shrew, my Bagoas."
"Your Bagoas, hmm?" Hephaestion grumbled.
"Yes, but my Hephaestion wearies of talk of handsome younger men and requires the sleep of the aged and infirmed," teased Alexander.
"I have less than a year on you," Hephaestion reminded him with a grin. "Don't talk too bad about me. In this you are one step behind."
Alexander kissed him long and deep before getting off him. "I know. I don't mind. In fact, I rather like it." He waggled golden eyebrows and Hephaestion rolled his eyes heavenward.
"Zeus preserve me from Alexander's overwhelming hubris."
Alexander kissed Hephaestion's chest, laving it with his tongue and causing Hephaestion to groan. "Hubris. Is it hubris to know I can make you do this every time?" Hephaestion bucked involuntarily as Alexander's hand closed around his member. A groan issued from both of them, low and growling in the back of their throats.
"That's it. You pay." Hephaestion tossed Alexander to the large cot. Thoughts of Persians and eunuchs left and they thought only of each other.
B