went to therapy tonight

[athenaworth]

Therapy may have helped me get over my biggest guilt hurdles, but I think i will always feel like I could've saved him if I'd been home. I still keep thinking it's all a bad dream. I never thought my heart could hurt this much.

Comments

[cravingstarbux]

I sure hope you've alleviated your guilt, because, more than likely, there was nothing you could do. It was Dude's time.

Here are two separate thoughts. If you were home and Dude had gotten sick, yes, you would have tried your damnedest to help him - that's a given.

* What if he fought to live for you, at his own pain? How would that make you feel knowing he was miserable to keep you from being miserable? Guilty. Possibly considering the gentlest way to help him.

* If you had tried and he still ended up passing, you'll may always think you could've done more, you should've done this instead of that. Leaving you with guilt.

I see every action leading back to guilt. But none of them would've been your fault. Dude knows you loved him - how could he NOT? Someone mentioned on a previous entry that this isn't the first time you left him for travels - you came home each and every time.

♥