motivation problems- and I lost the lottery
I've been so unmotivated for so long. I tried for 5mo or so to actually make progress in my life, but when I look at it critically, there is really nothng I have done since I started this job in September. I haven't made any progress in simplifying my life. My to-do list is no shorter, In fact I don't even know how long it is, prob 300+ items.
I still wnt more free time and privacy. Days off that are really my days off to play or veg out.
What am I doing with my life? What am I doing on a daily basis to get into med school? Not much... I'm just surviving.
I have become a faster runner and learned that I love running fast when I have music. I have started volunteering at the gym again.
I still have been eating really remarkably well... although considering I have little appetite it's not so hard to just design a diet plan, and stick to it. Maybe I should switch it up.
I'm usually positive, but today I'm just bummed out. I even cried today for a very small reason, just cut my finger and cried.
I missed the lottery the other day. A race I do every year, there are more entrants than can be accepted, so there is a lottery to see who will be racing. John is in. I am not. It's the first time I've ever lost in 9 applications, so I shouldn't be too upset, but still. The really big deal about that lottery was that my little brother lost out too. He's 14 and will be 15 on race day in June. He would have been the youngest finisher, which would be cool because I am the youngest female finisher, and my dad is one of 3 guys who have run the race 20 times as of this year. I think my dad is bummed out because of it more than anything.
It means that the one long race that I do every year (the last 7yrs in a row!) is not on the table for me. Maybe this is the best year for me to stop the ultra-distance events for one year, and do speedwork, nothing longer than 3-4 hrs... nothing longer than 25km trails, marathon on roads. Mostly really short stuff. See how fast I can run a 10K, maybe see if I can do a marathon in the low 3-hr range. Can I get 3:07 for a marathon? Could I even break 3hrs? (LOL- I know that most people don't consider a marathon to be taking a break from long events!)
Most training days 2-per day 30-60 min. Start to build up my mileage again past the 3hr30min mark in Nov. It could be a really great plan. I mentioned it to John and he just said something along the lines of "but you're my training partner"- a valid point. It's hard to train for a 50-km race by yourself.
I ran a little race yesterday with my brother, so I was sore today, but J had to go out by himself. I was trying to encourage him to leave the house but it was seriously like pulling teeth getting him out the door. I am not a mom. I shouldn't feel like one.
I still wnt more free time and privacy. Days off that are really my days off to play or veg out.
What am I doing with my life? What am I doing on a daily basis to get into med school? Not much... I'm just surviving.
I have become a faster runner and learned that I love running fast when I have music. I have started volunteering at the gym again.
I still have been eating really remarkably well... although considering I have little appetite it's not so hard to just design a diet plan, and stick to it. Maybe I should switch it up.
I'm usually positive, but today I'm just bummed out. I even cried today for a very small reason, just cut my finger and cried.
I missed the lottery the other day. A race I do every year, there are more entrants than can be accepted, so there is a lottery to see who will be racing. John is in. I am not. It's the first time I've ever lost in 9 applications, so I shouldn't be too upset, but still. The really big deal about that lottery was that my little brother lost out too. He's 14 and will be 15 on race day in June. He would have been the youngest finisher, which would be cool because I am the youngest female finisher, and my dad is one of 3 guys who have run the race 20 times as of this year. I think my dad is bummed out because of it more than anything.
It means that the one long race that I do every year (the last 7yrs in a row!) is not on the table for me. Maybe this is the best year for me to stop the ultra-distance events for one year, and do speedwork, nothing longer than 3-4 hrs... nothing longer than 25km trails, marathon on roads. Mostly really short stuff. See how fast I can run a 10K, maybe see if I can do a marathon in the low 3-hr range. Can I get 3:07 for a marathon? Could I even break 3hrs? (LOL- I know that most people don't consider a marathon to be taking a break from long events!)
Most training days 2-per day 30-60 min. Start to build up my mileage again past the 3hr30min mark in Nov. It could be a really great plan. I mentioned it to John and he just said something along the lines of "but you're my training partner"- a valid point. It's hard to train for a 50-km race by yourself.
I ran a little race yesterday with my brother, so I was sore today, but J had to go out by himself. I was trying to encourage him to leave the house but it was seriously like pulling teeth getting him out the door. I am not a mom. I shouldn't feel like one.