(no subject)
2 major stresses at this point.
1. Organic chemistry. I must study harder for this!
2. This TV interview I gave against my better judgement, which should be airing in moments and:
a/ may impact my career
b/will show me walking on TV, full on. Very tough for someone with BDD.
I did not feel bad before the interview. There was only one problem-
I had to do a TV interview in 2 hours, and I was in a city away from
home with pretty much just workout clothes! No makeup. Nothing. PANIC!
2
days earlier I had gone shopping wth my sister to buy new jeans. So I
have those. I had a pair of boots but they were looking kind of weird
under the jeans. They were OK though. I had a few new shirts but none
showing the kind of image I wanted to project- except for a merino wool
top, red colour. That will do.
Makeup. I actually threw away all
my makeup when I moved north. I figured that it was all at least 1 yr
old, so why not start fresh? So.... a flash of genius.... I went to the
clinique counter, told them my story, got them to do a makeover on me,
and bought the foundatin and lip stuff. $50.
Then
I went to a shoe store. I decided to splurge on a pair of red shoes
that were 50% off. Nice shoes, very modest (no heel) but pretty. Lacy
leatherwork and all that. I don;t think I have ever purchased a pair of
shoes as an impulse buy for >$100 before, I'm not much of a shopper.
went to the interview, and I felt great. The interview went fine.
After, thgough, I started o feel nervous. It seemed like she was asking
me a lot of questions and that she wanted to get me to say the "right"
answer. I was concerned.
Then, last night. An article comes out by the reporter. It is obviously the article she interviewed me for, and I am not featured. I'm relieved. The story is full of sensationalism, missed facts, and exaggeration. It's not really even true, and it's very poorly researched.
Tonight, I get an email from the reporter. Part 2 is tonight, and I'm featured.
@#$%&
I am not sure if I am more concerned for my career or having to look at
my body on TV, or th fact that I may lose respect among my friends when
the reporter tries to paint me as being on er "side" of the story.
I'm scared. I've been working towards this career for a long time and I am fearful of what might happen now.
1. Organic chemistry. I must study harder for this!
2. This TV interview I gave against my better judgement, which should be airing in moments and:
a/ may impact my career
b/will show me walking on TV, full on. Very tough for someone with BDD.
I did not feel bad before the interview. There was only one problem-
I had to do a TV interview in 2 hours, and I was in a city away from
home with pretty much just workout clothes! No makeup. Nothing. PANIC!
2
days earlier I had gone shopping wth my sister to buy new jeans. So I
have those. I had a pair of boots but they were looking kind of weird
under the jeans. They were OK though. I had a few new shirts but none
showing the kind of image I wanted to project- except for a merino wool
top, red colour. That will do.
Makeup. I actually threw away all
my makeup when I moved north. I figured that it was all at least 1 yr
old, so why not start fresh? So.... a flash of genius.... I went to the
clinique counter, told them my story, got them to do a makeover on me,
and bought the foundatin and lip stuff. $50.
Then
I went to a shoe store. I decided to splurge on a pair of red shoes
that were 50% off. Nice shoes, very modest (no heel) but pretty. Lacy
leatherwork and all that. I don;t think I have ever purchased a pair of
shoes as an impulse buy for >$100 before, I'm not much of a shopper.
went to the interview, and I felt great. The interview went fine.
After, thgough, I started o feel nervous. It seemed like she was asking
me a lot of questions and that she wanted to get me to say the "right"
answer. I was concerned.
Then, last night. An article comes out by the reporter. It is obviously the article she interviewed me for, and I am not featured. I'm relieved. The story is full of sensationalism, missed facts, and exaggeration. It's not really even true, and it's very poorly researched.
Tonight, I get an email from the reporter. Part 2 is tonight, and I'm featured.
@#$%&
I am not sure if I am more concerned for my career or having to look at
my body on TV, or th fact that I may lose respect among my friends when
the reporter tries to paint me as being on er "side" of the story.
I'm scared. I've been working towards this career for a long time and I am fearful of what might happen now.