Simple thoughts under a crimson colored sky...
Dearest Readers,
Something I wrote...not very good but only Jordy has read it and she said she liked it...This goes against better instinct but...here:
Forbidden… Something, I have always had a taste for. An acquired taste that has grown on me over the years. Like the blue lipstick I spread on my lips. You always thought the lipstick made me look dead. Now I am dead. From the inside out. The outside in?
I pinch myself and wonder am I awake? Is this real? Am I real?
Love makes you numb, when you no longer have it. Like a drug. A forbidden drug. You always know its there…you just can’t have it. I lick my lips and taste the last of the kisses. The coppery sweetness fills my senses…
Mom asked why you no longer come over…why I never play my music so loud to hide our moans and fairytale whispers. I told her you were busy. Busy with Chelsea… your girlfriend. God…I hate her. I hateyou. You give her what you took from me…you fill her up as I lay empty on my bed staring into oblivion listening to our forgotten throes that play in my head.
May I blame… the Prom? I knew you’d never take me but it was a fancy dream.
Romeo…Romeo…where for art thou Romeo? Right there two yards away from me, laughing it up with the jock squad and your bitch. Yeah…I’m bitter…but what do they have I don’t? Oh yeah… Popularity, two X chromosomes and the permission of god to love. Oh yeah…I remember now…
Truly…It was Prom’s fault. To see the pride on your father’s face, when he saw your pretty date in her splendid gown. Me? He would have seen me and run me over with his car. Harsh words would fling me down and the tears of your mother would drown me. It was the words that you feared! You cared too much of what people said and so you could never fully love me. I was your Pinocchio all I asked was that you me…make me feel real….
In the shadows you kissed me…never in the light. Always in our hazy paradise far far away…found in between satin sheets…
As you stroll pass your “girl” waves and you say hello.
“Nice lipstick…” one of the jocks sneer. I make eye contact with you only to see us fumbling under your sheets, the lipstick smeared on your lips and cheeks from wild kisses…I smile gritting my teeth and walk away.
The only thing I can do from saying, “I love you”
Your not there anymore…la la la la la… I’m ignoring you… Can’t you, I’ve see my eyes are closed and my heart?....
Ding. Dong.
Mother get the door! Wait… she’s not here. Jeez, can’t anyone see I’m busy? I’m re-applying my façade… it’s hard to keep a happy face all day.
“Hel-lo” It’s you.
“Why are you here?”
“Why are you like this?” Ooh…Touché.
“Like what?”
“Sulky”
Hahaha… I am not sulking…I prefer the term brooding…
“Just go away…”
“No…we need to talk about this…”
“There is nothing to talk about…just go away…”
“Why?”
“I’m…busy…” Gluing together my heart back together.
“Doing what?”
“Don’t know…Being queer?”
I slam the door and let the sound of rejection ring in your ears and feel you cringe as I walk away…
Today I simply feel...cute... Patrick told me that this really hot girl thought I was cute. I was in a crappy mood cause...well I had my Hsa #1 today and it sucked alot... but oh well.That simply made me feel as if I actually possessed physically attraction... Hmm...Hung out at the park today...its was okie...Alex threw a cicada at me and I filled out...and there was a cicada on my back also so I screamed...
Yeah...Thats it...
Sincerely Your's before Midnight,
~Thurs~
Something I wrote...not very good but only Jordy has read it and she said she liked it...This goes against better instinct but...here:
Forbidden… Something, I have always had a taste for. An acquired taste that has grown on me over the years. Like the blue lipstick I spread on my lips. You always thought the lipstick made me look dead. Now I am dead. From the inside out. The outside in?
I pinch myself and wonder am I awake? Is this real? Am I real?
Love makes you numb, when you no longer have it. Like a drug. A forbidden drug. You always know its there…you just can’t have it. I lick my lips and taste the last of the kisses. The coppery sweetness fills my senses…
Mom asked why you no longer come over…why I never play my music so loud to hide our moans and fairytale whispers. I told her you were busy. Busy with Chelsea… your girlfriend. God…I hate her. I hateyou. You give her what you took from me…you fill her up as I lay empty on my bed staring into oblivion listening to our forgotten throes that play in my head.
May I blame… the Prom? I knew you’d never take me but it was a fancy dream.
Romeo…Romeo…where for art thou Romeo? Right there two yards away from me, laughing it up with the jock squad and your bitch. Yeah…I’m bitter…but what do they have I don’t? Oh yeah… Popularity, two X chromosomes and the permission of god to love. Oh yeah…I remember now…
Truly…It was Prom’s fault. To see the pride on your father’s face, when he saw your pretty date in her splendid gown. Me? He would have seen me and run me over with his car. Harsh words would fling me down and the tears of your mother would drown me. It was the words that you feared! You cared too much of what people said and so you could never fully love me. I was your Pinocchio all I asked was that you me…make me feel real….
In the shadows you kissed me…never in the light. Always in our hazy paradise far far away…found in between satin sheets…
As you stroll pass your “girl” waves and you say hello.
“Nice lipstick…” one of the jocks sneer. I make eye contact with you only to see us fumbling under your sheets, the lipstick smeared on your lips and cheeks from wild kisses…I smile gritting my teeth and walk away.
The only thing I can do from saying, “I love you”
Your not there anymore…la la la la la… I’m ignoring you… Can’t you, I’ve see my eyes are closed and my heart?....
Ding. Dong.
Mother get the door! Wait… she’s not here. Jeez, can’t anyone see I’m busy? I’m re-applying my façade… it’s hard to keep a happy face all day.
“Hel-lo” It’s you.
“Why are you here?”
“Why are you like this?” Ooh…Touché.
“Like what?”
“Sulky”
Hahaha… I am not sulking…I prefer the term brooding…
“Just go away…”
“No…we need to talk about this…”
“There is nothing to talk about…just go away…”
“Why?”
“I’m…busy…” Gluing together my heart back together.
“Doing what?”
“Don’t know…Being queer?”
I slam the door and let the sound of rejection ring in your ears and feel you cringe as I walk away…
Today I simply feel...cute... Patrick told me that this really hot girl thought I was cute. I was in a crappy mood cause...well I had my Hsa #1 today and it sucked alot... but oh well.That simply made me feel as if I actually possessed physically attraction... Hmm...Hung out at the park today...its was okie...Alex threw a cicada at me and I filled out...and there was a cicada on my back also so I screamed...
Yeah...Thats it...
Sincerely Your's before Midnight,
~Thurs~