Four Times Rodney Kisses John and One Time He Doesn't ~ SGA (McShep)
Title: Four Times Rodney Kisses John and One Time He Doesn't
Author: icantfollow
Characters: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Prompt: #038 Touch
Word Count: ~1200
Rating: PG
Summary: It's amazing, really, how often they come under the influence of an alien culture.
A/N: This is sort of a warm-up exercise for mcshep_romance, so it's pretty fluffy.
1. When he gets a psychic cold.
'Sheppard!'
That's all the warning he gets. Next thing he knows, Rodney has thrown himself at John, takes his head in both hands, and kisses him full on the lips.
'Did it work?' Rodney asks when he pulls back. 'Am I cured?'
Then he sneezes, loudly, and before John can get any sort of bearings on this bewildering situation, Rodney swears loudly.
'Damn it!'
'Would you mind,' John says in a tightly controlled voice, 'explaining to me what the hell is going on?'
Turns out, Rodney got kissed by some off-world blonde scientist during a routine Ceremony of Knowledge Passing, and ever since he's been sneezing non-stop - and every time he does, he gets a flash of the future.
'The future, McKay?' John says. 'That sounds pretty far-fetched.'
'Oh yeah?' says Rodney, only it sounds more like Doh yugh? because his nose is red and swollen. "In five seconds, Teyla is going to come around that corner and ask you if you've seen the mission report from MFX-774.'
When Teyla does come around the corner and asks about MFX-774, John turns to Rodney.
'Well, what good is it being able to see ten seconds into the future?'
'It's not, that's why I'm trying to get rid of it! I figured it might latch on to you since you've got the Ancient gene, and even in the name of science I refuse to swap spit with Carson again.' Rodney sighs, and sneezes. 'Sorry, Teyla, for what I'm about to do next.'
He grabs her by the shoulders and kisses her, releasing her so that she stumbles back against the wall. Teyla licks her lips and John tries not to be jealous.
'While I appreciate the gesture, Rodney,' she says, 'your psychic cold will clear up on its own in a few days. There is no need to go around kissing the entire city.'
'Oh, thank God,' says Rodney, and he rushes off to his lab, sneezing, leaving John very confused.
'How'd you know that's what he had?' John asks.
Teyla smiles, and they walk down the corridor together. 'It is a common ailment among the Lot'ai, and I could not think of another reason for Rodney to suddenly kiss me.'
John sure could. He sneezed and saw a picture of himself selecting a fruit cup at lunch. 'Oh, great, he didn't get rid of it, he made it contagious. Looks like there's fruit cups in the mess.'
'Do not worry, John,' Teyla says, and smiles that secret smile of hers where she knows something the other person clearly doesn't. 'It will not last.'
Later John finds out that the particular reason Teyla is smiling is that psychic colds can only be transmitted orally.
2. When he's bitten by a love bug.
'Could someone restrain McKay please?' John says, trying desperately to keep the manic Rodney at armslength.
'Oh, he doesn't mean it,' Rodney says, pupils dilated, a goofy grin on his face. 'We're in love!'
The surrounding scientists, Marines, and assorted city personnel don't make much effort to disguise their laughter. John vows to punish each and every one of them as soon as this is over.
Rodney manages to wrap John in a bear hug and forces him up against the wall, kissing him with enough force that John thinks he's going to end up in another room.
'Antidote?' he says when Rodney frees his mouth, though his voice is hoarse. 'Hello? I think he wants to marry me.'
Carson rushes forward with a syringe, just as Rodney turns his head and appraises him with a giant grin.
'Carson! Wow, you look good. Hold on, I'll be with you in a second.'
Carson looks vaguely ill. 'Well, thank you, Rodney. Don't mind me, this won't hurt a bit.'
He sticks the needle into his arm. Rodney sways on his feet, eyes fluttering shut, falling against John who braces him and then helps Carson get him to the infirmary.
When Rodney wakes up, it's clear he doesn't remember anything.
'You had some weird allergic reaction to a bug bite,' John tells him. 'Carson said it threw your pheromones all out of whack. You, uh, kind of went all over the city kissing people.'
Rodney's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. 'No. Tell me you're lying.'
'I believe the final tally,' says Carson, eyes shining, 'was four scientists, two Marines, and three Air Force officers, including our valiant colonel who offered himself as bait so we could cure you. You seemed to have your eye on me next.'
'Oh, right,' Rodney sneered, though John noticed he'd gone bright red and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, 'like that would ever happen.'
3. When John isn't breathing.
John's eyes open mid-breath and he stares directly into two deep blue pools, like staring into twin stargates.
Then he gets a grip, and starts to cough up water.
'Thank God,' Rodney says, still leaning over him, one hand on his chest where he was doing compressions. 'You're back.'
4. When aliens make them do it.
'What is it about alien cultures and forced marriages?' Rodney grumbles, staring at the girl he's supposedly espoused. 'It's like they think of their women as welcoming gifts.'
'Didn't know you were such a feminist, Rodney,' John replies. He should probably be more concerned, but Teyla has gone to discuss the situation with the village elders - and it's not like it's the first time.
'It is as you suspected, Colonel,' Teyla says when she returns. 'Koani is married to Dr. McKay unless we can prove that he is already taken.'
'Figures,' John sighs. He looks from Ronon to Teyla. 'Who's turn is it?'
'Do we not draw straws?' Teyla replies.
'Oh, for crying out loud,' Rodney says. He grabs John by the tac vest and plants a wet one on him. 'There. Taken.'
Koani looks pretty disappointed, and John can't say he blames her. Even after they're safely back in Atlantis and debriefed, he still feels tingly from the contact.
5. When the fate of the galaxy rests in their hands (again)
They stand in the empty gateroom, the stargate active behind them, sounds of warfare above them, and John can't do anything but listen.
'So, er,' says Rodney, just standing there, 'the thing is, I'm dying anyway. Soon. Possibly in the next few minutes, Keller wasn't sure how fast this thing would spread. They need you on the Alpha site, Sheppard, which is why, despite the fact that I desperately want to and this is my very last chance, I'm not going to kiss you.'
'Rodney-'
'No, let me finish.' Rodney takes a breath, and John's own breath catches in his throat. 'We both know how adverse I am to actually dying, but I think, in this case, I can at least buy you some time. And since I can't actually touch you, in case this thing infects you too, I just have to tell you that these were absolutely the best years of my life and I know you took a chance on me, so - thank you.'
And in that moment, when the wormhole disappears, John leans forward and kisses Rodney.
Author: icantfollow
Characters: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Prompt: #038 Touch
Word Count: ~1200
Rating: PG
Summary: It's amazing, really, how often they come under the influence of an alien culture.
A/N: This is sort of a warm-up exercise for mcshep_romance, so it's pretty fluffy.
1. When he gets a psychic cold.
'Sheppard!'
That's all the warning he gets. Next thing he knows, Rodney has thrown himself at John, takes his head in both hands, and kisses him full on the lips.
'Did it work?' Rodney asks when he pulls back. 'Am I cured?'
Then he sneezes, loudly, and before John can get any sort of bearings on this bewildering situation, Rodney swears loudly.
'Damn it!'
'Would you mind,' John says in a tightly controlled voice, 'explaining to me what the hell is going on?'
Turns out, Rodney got kissed by some off-world blonde scientist during a routine Ceremony of Knowledge Passing, and ever since he's been sneezing non-stop - and every time he does, he gets a flash of the future.
'The future, McKay?' John says. 'That sounds pretty far-fetched.'
'Oh yeah?' says Rodney, only it sounds more like Doh yugh? because his nose is red and swollen. "In five seconds, Teyla is going to come around that corner and ask you if you've seen the mission report from MFX-774.'
When Teyla does come around the corner and asks about MFX-774, John turns to Rodney.
'Well, what good is it being able to see ten seconds into the future?'
'It's not, that's why I'm trying to get rid of it! I figured it might latch on to you since you've got the Ancient gene, and even in the name of science I refuse to swap spit with Carson again.' Rodney sighs, and sneezes. 'Sorry, Teyla, for what I'm about to do next.'
He grabs her by the shoulders and kisses her, releasing her so that she stumbles back against the wall. Teyla licks her lips and John tries not to be jealous.
'While I appreciate the gesture, Rodney,' she says, 'your psychic cold will clear up on its own in a few days. There is no need to go around kissing the entire city.'
'Oh, thank God,' says Rodney, and he rushes off to his lab, sneezing, leaving John very confused.
'How'd you know that's what he had?' John asks.
Teyla smiles, and they walk down the corridor together. 'It is a common ailment among the Lot'ai, and I could not think of another reason for Rodney to suddenly kiss me.'
John sure could. He sneezed and saw a picture of himself selecting a fruit cup at lunch. 'Oh, great, he didn't get rid of it, he made it contagious. Looks like there's fruit cups in the mess.'
'Do not worry, John,' Teyla says, and smiles that secret smile of hers where she knows something the other person clearly doesn't. 'It will not last.'
Later John finds out that the particular reason Teyla is smiling is that psychic colds can only be transmitted orally.
2. When he's bitten by a love bug.
'Could someone restrain McKay please?' John says, trying desperately to keep the manic Rodney at armslength.
'Oh, he doesn't mean it,' Rodney says, pupils dilated, a goofy grin on his face. 'We're in love!'
The surrounding scientists, Marines, and assorted city personnel don't make much effort to disguise their laughter. John vows to punish each and every one of them as soon as this is over.
Rodney manages to wrap John in a bear hug and forces him up against the wall, kissing him with enough force that John thinks he's going to end up in another room.
'Antidote?' he says when Rodney frees his mouth, though his voice is hoarse. 'Hello? I think he wants to marry me.'
Carson rushes forward with a syringe, just as Rodney turns his head and appraises him with a giant grin.
'Carson! Wow, you look good. Hold on, I'll be with you in a second.'
Carson looks vaguely ill. 'Well, thank you, Rodney. Don't mind me, this won't hurt a bit.'
He sticks the needle into his arm. Rodney sways on his feet, eyes fluttering shut, falling against John who braces him and then helps Carson get him to the infirmary.
When Rodney wakes up, it's clear he doesn't remember anything.
'You had some weird allergic reaction to a bug bite,' John tells him. 'Carson said it threw your pheromones all out of whack. You, uh, kind of went all over the city kissing people.'
Rodney's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. 'No. Tell me you're lying.'
'I believe the final tally,' says Carson, eyes shining, 'was four scientists, two Marines, and three Air Force officers, including our valiant colonel who offered himself as bait so we could cure you. You seemed to have your eye on me next.'
'Oh, right,' Rodney sneered, though John noticed he'd gone bright red and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, 'like that would ever happen.'
3. When John isn't breathing.
John's eyes open mid-breath and he stares directly into two deep blue pools, like staring into twin stargates.
Then he gets a grip, and starts to cough up water.
'Thank God,' Rodney says, still leaning over him, one hand on his chest where he was doing compressions. 'You're back.'
4. When aliens make them do it.
'What is it about alien cultures and forced marriages?' Rodney grumbles, staring at the girl he's supposedly espoused. 'It's like they think of their women as welcoming gifts.'
'Didn't know you were such a feminist, Rodney,' John replies. He should probably be more concerned, but Teyla has gone to discuss the situation with the village elders - and it's not like it's the first time.
'It is as you suspected, Colonel,' Teyla says when she returns. 'Koani is married to Dr. McKay unless we can prove that he is already taken.'
'Figures,' John sighs. He looks from Ronon to Teyla. 'Who's turn is it?'
'Do we not draw straws?' Teyla replies.
'Oh, for crying out loud,' Rodney says. He grabs John by the tac vest and plants a wet one on him. 'There. Taken.'
Koani looks pretty disappointed, and John can't say he blames her. Even after they're safely back in Atlantis and debriefed, he still feels tingly from the contact.
5. When the fate of the galaxy rests in their hands (again)
They stand in the empty gateroom, the stargate active behind them, sounds of warfare above them, and John can't do anything but listen.
'So, er,' says Rodney, just standing there, 'the thing is, I'm dying anyway. Soon. Possibly in the next few minutes, Keller wasn't sure how fast this thing would spread. They need you on the Alpha site, Sheppard, which is why, despite the fact that I desperately want to and this is my very last chance, I'm not going to kiss you.'
'Rodney-'
'No, let me finish.' Rodney takes a breath, and John's own breath catches in his throat. 'We both know how adverse I am to actually dying, but I think, in this case, I can at least buy you some time. And since I can't actually touch you, in case this thing infects you too, I just have to tell you that these were absolutely the best years of my life and I know you took a chance on me, so - thank you.'
And in that moment, when the wormhole disappears, John leans forward and kisses Rodney.