My baby only wants me to hold her!

[darkalice13]

 I am new mom to an 11week old daughter. Since she has been born I have pretty much carried her (in my arms or a sling carrier) most of the time. I also had not planned to co-sleep but it has been what felt right since she came home from the hospital. Recently she wants nothing to do with anyone but myself. Family comes over and wants to hold her

Comments

[mercy_rain]

Gently remind your husband that she is a BABY. They are, by definition, dependent. That is not a bad thing. He may be feeling a little hurt by her reaction, annoyed at himself for being hurt, and because she's only a baby, is putting the 'blame' on you.

She won't always be like this - a few months down the line, she may decide Dad is lots of fun and you're interesting only for the boobs!

Letting her cry until she's out of breath is not good for her. When she's crying hard like that, she's not breathing normally and it's possible that she may be getting less oxygen to her (rapidly developing) brain.

Let her become independent on *her* schedule. She will, I promise - and she'll do it more securely if she has a strong base of emotional security that results from having her emotional needs met, not from having independence forced upon her.

[yip95]

holding her when she needs you will make her *more* secure and independent, in the long run, because she'll learn that she can get what she needs when she needs it. right now, she needs you.

it won't last forever. and she will learn to self-soothe. but self-soothing does not mean that she will learn how to not cry when something is upsetting her. if she doesn't want to be held by someone, she can't just walk away. so she cries. and she needs you to help her.

If dad is feeling left out, has he tried bottle-feeding her? or giving her baths or something else that she might enjoy? She might just be in a mom stage and that's okay. like the pp said, he'll get his turn. he just has to be patient, be the grown-up, and let her grow up on her own terms.

[wait]

Your daughter is totally normal. Its a perfectly healthy attachment at 3 months old. Mama is their world, especially if they are breastfeeding.

She'll learn to trust and enjoy others as you listen to her needs. So she can be in Daddy's arms for as long as she's happy. And when she gets upset, back to Mama for a while. Its a hard phase, but it doesn't last forever. They need time to build their bond.

Does your husband wear her in the carrier? That can be awesome.

[mirandapadgett]

My daughter was the same way until about 6 months. (She's 13 months now and happy to be held by just about anybody she knows.) It's perfectly normal for her to want *just* you right now. Daddy will have to deal.

[lunarophelia]

Trust your instincts. She is a tiny baby - of course she is dependant and of course she wants her mother all the time! She will be self soothing before you now it and in my opinion forcing her into it will delay it. Ditto on the omg you're not my mommy.