Comments | attachedparents: HELP ME major separation anxiety

kissyferjenn in attachedparents

HELP ME major separation anxiety

Jul 01, 2009 19:18

DD is 10 months old, and literally can not stand it if i am doing something else. I can not even wash dishes. She is fine for a few minutes in the living room a few feet away, then she will crawl over to where im standing and ball, until i pick her up ( Read more... )

separation anxiety

Comments 6

swizzle_ July 2 2009, 13:45:37 UTC

I would think you will get a lot of responses here saying that a lot of people went through the same thing. Have him read those! If not I am sure you can find some information online about bonding to the main caregiver. It's totally and completely normal. My daughter wanted nothing to do with her daddy at that age and it upset him greatly. Then, she went through a period of being a total daddy's girl. He will get his turns at being the favorite parent!

*eta* this link has a little information about helping ease care over to dad. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/separationanxiety.html

alaria_lyon July 2 2009, 16:08:42 UTC

I think you should go to No Doubt. Many Dads go through this, and the most important thing, in my opinion, is for him is to allow him to work through it, develop his own role, his own calming techniques, his own special moments and special relationship. You can't really help console, him, as I suspect he feels inadequate and not as bonded as he wants to be because he wasn't around for the first 11 months of her life (if you cound the pregnancy). Remember, as long as she is being comforted and is being cared for, he is not letting her CIO if she is upset. She is learning that Daddy is also there to comfort her and love her and she is learning to rely on him as well as Mommy. The most important thing to realize is that this is normal, is a developmental stage, and she will move through it.

mybabythomas July 2 2009, 18:43:58 UTC

Your husband needs to talk to other fathers, to help him realise that what he is experiencing is totally normal, and that most infants show this sort of preference towards their mothers even when daddy has always been there right from the start.

My daughter is also quite a mummy's girl, so to help give my husband the opportunity to bond with her I get him to give her a bath every evening before I settle her off to sleep, she loves baths so it works out pretty well.

kissyferjenn July 2 2009, 20:03:15 UTC

I am glad you mentioned this, I will make him read this because he is opposed to doing this. I guess it is because sometimes he is working at night or, sometimes he is just getting home from work and doesnt really want to do this. He is either relaxing from the hard day, or just too hyped up. I really don't understand it, he has this thing in which he can't sit still, and if he is he has to be play video games, on his computer or watching tv. I feels that the dirty work is up to me. Forget asking him to change a diaper.

kirstenlj July 2 2009, 20:33:28 UTC

Send him this link :-)

And you know, he can't really complain that she prefers you if he isn't putting in the hours ...

sherbearlove July 9 2009, 20:51:56 UTC

I second the bath-time bonding. My fiance is also the bath giver (our daughter is 6 months old). At first he was a little weirded out about washing her privates because he said that "She looks at him funny when he does it," but after I explained that she doesn't really grasp the concept of perversion yet, he's 100% comfortable and really enjoys the bonding time it gives them. I also like the break it gives me. =)

I should get him to read these comments, as he's been having the same feelings as lots of the other Dads.