More black/white thinking

[attalal]

Sometimes the only thing that I think will make me feel better is not just getting out of this depression but being in what I imagine to be the opposite of it.  After being down for so long, I can imagine how one might fantasize about living a life where the predominant feeling is a constant, nearly hypnotic bliss interrupted only occasionally as

Comments

[attalal]

We've never discussed anything like this. I can see how this could be helpful. I have a digital voice recorder that I carry around with me. I use it to record thoughts and stuff that come up, insights.

[cosmicsnowfall]

I lack patience and usually turn to self medicating in order to find my "opposite".

I wish that happy means normal wasn't what we are taught, or what is expected. If our parents and society would have just been honest with how the world works and what they went through perhaps the depressing and sad times wouldn't feel so heavy and horrible now.

I find that I am growing increasing angry with each passing day. Recognizing at flawed system and not only allowing it to continue but helping to perpetuate it just pisses me off.

The fact that you are working at changing your reality and ultimately your future makes me proud of you.