Hi, I’m your cheerleader this week. I really liked your entry. I’ve never been to Brooklyn, but I’m Italian and even if nobody in my family was an emigrant, I know what *seeking a better life in America* was like for them. So, I appreciate your comparison between the old tree providing some kind of strength to those people, and the nameless tree that Ikea turns into a shape that can fit in every house around the world. It is as if the wood didn’t have roots anymore. I think that you beautifully captured the difficult balance between local and global, between past and present. :) Tina
I'm one of your editors this week. I'm not very familiar with poetry and with the ones that I have studied, the free verse varies so much that it's hard to say what the author intend or did not intend.
I'm going to have to say what I think personally not so much "overall" editing because of that reason. What I felt in the first stanza was the lack of punctuation. The first line could've used a period while others below it could use some commas.
I really liked how you put so much periods in the second stanza so I'm under the assumption the lack of punctuation is intentional in the first - creating a "rambling" in the first stanza and something more definite in the second.
I really liked the poem. It has a statement and your word choice is great. It packs a lot of emotion and feeling in it. Good luck!
Hello, I am one of your editors for this week. I have no changes. This poem is so full of images - trees as playgrounds, playmates, providers of shade for immigrants. (I relate to that, being only second generation American in my Mother's line.) Those images against a chain store product (that looks like every other chain store product) “to make a design impact”. This is so sad. There are places, especially in cities, where there are not enough trees. I agree. I hope that your poem reminds people how much we still need trees, and how much we are connected to the other life on the planet. Good work, well written.
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Yes there are, but not nearly enough for my taste.
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I really liked your entry.
I’ve never been to Brooklyn, but I’m Italian and even if nobody in my family was an emigrant, I know what *seeking a better life in America* was like for them. So, I appreciate your comparison between the old tree providing some kind of strength to those people, and the nameless tree that Ikea turns into a shape that can fit in every house around the world. It is as if the wood didn’t have roots anymore.
I think that you beautifully captured the difficult balance between local and global, between past and present. :)
Tina
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I'm one of your editors this week. I'm not very familiar with poetry and with the ones that I have studied, the free verse varies so much that it's hard to say what the author intend or did not intend.
I'm going to have to say what I think personally not so much "overall" editing because of that reason. What I felt in the first stanza was the lack of punctuation. The first line could've used a period while others below it could use some commas.
I really liked how you put so much periods in the second stanza so I'm under the assumption the lack of punctuation is intentional in the first - creating a "rambling" in the first stanza and something more definite in the second.
I really liked the poem. It has a statement and your word choice is great. It packs a lot of emotion and feeling in it. Good luck!
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