Note To Self, I Miss you Terribly - This Is What We Call A Tragedy
Rating: I'd say R. No sex, just adult ideas
Warnings: Suicide, cutting, other self-distructive behavior
Pairing: Sonny Moore/ Matt Good
Disclaimer: not real. dont own. dont sue
Thank you Matt. Just simply for loving me. But I am a coward without you dear.
You were my reason for living, and now that I don’t have you, that sense of purpose is gone;
I have nothing to live for babe. I gave you my soul, my everything; but it was ok because
your love was all I needed back. I never was happier then the time I spent in your arms.
You actually made me better, a functional member of society.
See babe, because you were with me I was able to actually become
a good person. The self-loathing, the drugs, promiscuity, even the cutting…
it all stopped that night you said you loved me, that night that you showed me what love is.
What hurt the most was that that same person ripped that joyous love out of my life.
I finally found a way to be happy and free. Every scar I gave to my body is a reminder
of all the lessons I have learned in my mission to live; to find love with you.
I’m sorry that I won’t be able to watch you grow into the fine man I know you will become.
I hope you are happy with her, and I hope I can ever become happy without you.
-With all my love,
Your sunshine
It had been just one week after he ended his relationship with his then boyfriend, Sonny.
He haddn’t wanted to end it; but honoring the wishes of his parents, he did. I loved Sonny with everything he was, and wanted to grow old with the beautiful boy. Something about Sonny’s presence was intoxicating; he was exiting, his smile was stunning, and thought of the world entirely different. In fact it was that Sonny is so different that made Matt fall for him.
And Matt fell hard. But his parents couldn’t see it, or more so they didn’t care to acknowledge it. They felt love that two men shared could never be real love. Matt was told he couldn’t be with Sonny, couldn’t talk to him, and no longer could be in the band they created together. His choice boiled down to giving up Sonny, or he would have to move to another state.
He chose to give Sonny up, for the time being. He hated the thought that he could never his smile again, not see the beautiful eyes he loves, that he’d be to far away to miss the chance to ever be together again.
When Matt told Sonny it had to end, at first Sonny looked crushed; but then he started to cry and scream and make a scene. Of course he told Sonny that he was seeing someone else, as to try to make a clean break. It wasn’t a lie; that morning in fact he asked his long time friend Mylie out. But Sonny was heartbroken, losing all that meant something to him. Matt hated himself for ever bringing pain to the tear streaked boy in front of him, Sonny was better than that, he didn’t disserve the heartache.
The rumor was that the day Matt killed himself; Sonny had given him a note, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.
Without saying a word he then turned around and walked away. Matt closed the door and continued to watch a movie with Mylie. A while passed and Matt carefully unfolded the note in his hand, to reveal Sonny’s neat but flawed handwriting. He read it; his face fell. He caught Mylie’s attention when a small hiccupped sob escaped. In a frenzy he ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Mylie pounded on the door and pleaded to know what upset him so much. She got no answer, and decided to go for some help. When the door was opened Matt was in a heap on the floor; that note found crumpled in his hand on that night. He loved Sonny, he wanted to be with him forever. That night he confessed his love, he meant it. When he told Sonny that they’d always be together, he meant it. It was a promise he was never going to break.
Warnings: Suicide, cutting, other self-distructive behavior
Pairing: Sonny Moore/ Matt Good
Disclaimer: not real. dont own. dont sue
Thank you Matt. Just simply for loving me. But I am a coward without you dear.
You were my reason for living, and now that I don’t have you, that sense of purpose is gone;
I have nothing to live for babe. I gave you my soul, my everything; but it was ok because
your love was all I needed back. I never was happier then the time I spent in your arms.
You actually made me better, a functional member of society.
See babe, because you were with me I was able to actually become
a good person. The self-loathing, the drugs, promiscuity, even the cutting…
it all stopped that night you said you loved me, that night that you showed me what love is.
What hurt the most was that that same person ripped that joyous love out of my life.
I finally found a way to be happy and free. Every scar I gave to my body is a reminder
of all the lessons I have learned in my mission to live; to find love with you.
I’m sorry that I won’t be able to watch you grow into the fine man I know you will become.
I hope you are happy with her, and I hope I can ever become happy without you.
-With all my love,
Your sunshine
It had been just one week after he ended his relationship with his then boyfriend, Sonny.
He haddn’t wanted to end it; but honoring the wishes of his parents, he did. I loved Sonny with everything he was, and wanted to grow old with the beautiful boy. Something about Sonny’s presence was intoxicating; he was exiting, his smile was stunning, and thought of the world entirely different. In fact it was that Sonny is so different that made Matt fall for him.
And Matt fell hard. But his parents couldn’t see it, or more so they didn’t care to acknowledge it. They felt love that two men shared could never be real love. Matt was told he couldn’t be with Sonny, couldn’t talk to him, and no longer could be in the band they created together. His choice boiled down to giving up Sonny, or he would have to move to another state.
He chose to give Sonny up, for the time being. He hated the thought that he could never his smile again, not see the beautiful eyes he loves, that he’d be to far away to miss the chance to ever be together again.
When Matt told Sonny it had to end, at first Sonny looked crushed; but then he started to cry and scream and make a scene. Of course he told Sonny that he was seeing someone else, as to try to make a clean break. It wasn’t a lie; that morning in fact he asked his long time friend Mylie out. But Sonny was heartbroken, losing all that meant something to him. Matt hated himself for ever bringing pain to the tear streaked boy in front of him, Sonny was better than that, he didn’t disserve the heartache.
The rumor was that the day Matt killed himself; Sonny had given him a note, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.
Without saying a word he then turned around and walked away. Matt closed the door and continued to watch a movie with Mylie. A while passed and Matt carefully unfolded the note in his hand, to reveal Sonny’s neat but flawed handwriting. He read it; his face fell. He caught Mylie’s attention when a small hiccupped sob escaped. In a frenzy he ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Mylie pounded on the door and pleaded to know what upset him so much. She got no answer, and decided to go for some help. When the door was opened Matt was in a heap on the floor; that note found crumpled in his hand on that night. He loved Sonny, he wanted to be with him forever. That night he confessed his love, he meant it. When he told Sonny that they’d always be together, he meant it. It was a promise he was never going to break.