Fic: from the edge of the green sea [SGA] complete

[auburnnothenna]

Continuing my habit of chronologically inept posting and sneaking in one last fic for 2008. Happy New Year all and may it treat us all better than this one did.

Title: from the edge of the green sea
Author: Auburn
Fandom: SGA
Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting.
Rating: R
Size: ~4740
Genre: Slash, future fic.
Beta: dossier 
A/N: companion story to but the nights

Comments

[xparrot]

Lovely, lovely - there's nothing like feeling the rhythm of a train traveling steadily toward your destination, and you capture it so well. And they're all so beautifully family here.

[auburnnothenna]

Had that rhythm in my head for a month, wanting to go, go, go. Always being the driver means I dream of sitting back and just watching the landscape go by, reading a book, napping...all while going somewhere. Sounds heavenly. Long as it isn't too crowded - buses suck.

[luthien]

I'm so pleased to see more of this 'verse. I love all the description and how well that creates atmosphere as well as setting. I can really *feel* this place as I read. Loved all the flashbacks, which gave this the same sense of slowly unfolding that the original had, but in a slightly different way, with the framing of the train journey. The first-time was hot and intense, but I particularly love that they were so *them* during it, as well. And then, afterwards... Rodney loved Jennifer, but he loves John and the team more. I'm not sure whether to go "ouch" or "awww" there - maybe both.

Thanks. I have about a million fest fics to read at the moment, but I read this first before diving back in. ;-)

[auburnnothenna]

Loved all the flashbacks, which gave this the same sense of slowly unfolding that the original had, but in a slightly different way, with the framing of the train journey.

I usually stay away from flashbacks and you'll note these aren't italicized. I wanted it to slide back and forth the way thoughts do, with less delineation, and the effect the sometimes John is telling the tale to Yanka.

I did worry this one wouldn't stand up in comparison to the first story. Both of them did the same thing though: I started out thinking I was going to write a lot more and then realized, no, this is it. This is the story being told and more is just going to be like wet mud weighing on the bottom of your boot.

[mf_luder_xf]

You always create the most intricate and evocative worlds. These two stories are just lovely in a quiet and happy way. I don't even long for them to have Atlantis here (though It wasn't like the next planet they visited would offer him puddlejumpers and flying cities. is bittersweet). I love how you used Keller in here. And Rodney and John, so loving in their own way, as always.

♥

[auburnnothenna]

I think sometimes I'm just writing these as an excuse to write about my imaginary worlds.

I love how you used Keller in here.

Villainizing her just reminds the reader of the reaction to show canon.

I think the touch of bittersweet makes it better. Contrast. No value in mindless happiness.

[bluflamingo]

Oh, I love this, the way the past and the future all blend together, and that the decision to setttle was easy, even if actually settling was quite as simple.

[auburnnothenna]

You liked the way it blended? I worried about not delineating the flashbacks but I wanted it to merge back and forth so I left it the way I wrote the draft.

[elsa12790]

What a deep, quiet pleasure to revisit this world. What you said about how in writing this you are literally taking the characters away from Atlantis to protect them from TPTB: that was how I felt about 'but the nights...' without really being able to articulate it to myself. This future feels more real to me than anything canon could come up with. I love all the details that make the world and their lives there so fully-realized (the metals in the Green Sea, Torren's sticky fingers) and the achingly beautiful moments in your writing ("outside, a bird interrupted the endless pale reach of the sky like a lesson in lift..." and "turning the even horizon incandescent without any mountains to hurry sundown."

[auburnnothenna]

I've been trying to elevate my prose a little, so thank you for singling out some of the lines.

I really didn't realize what I was doing with the other story until after I'd written and posted it, but that is most definitely it. If they can't take care of something precious, it's my duty to safeguard it.