FIC; Broken Strings
demilena
6000 and something words
He made her smile. He was good to her. Those were her reasons when people would look at her funny for being with someone who was four years older. The reasons worked, too. No one gave it a second glance after that. As long as Demi was happy, they were satisfied. The real reason she was with him was that she just didn't want to admit anything different. She didn't want to further alienate herself from her friends and family. They had enough trouble accepting that she was growing up, so to somehow throw the word lesbian onto that pile seemed too much. For now, she was happy just pretending like nothing was wrong.. pretending she was giving her heart to the greatest man she had ever met.
But he was actually her biggest mistake. Had she decided to not go to the party, she would have learnt it later rather than sooner. Things were running as normal as she stood in a corner talking to Selena, just loving the comfort level of being with her best friend. Then Shaun wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck. "Come with me," he whispered.
Looking at Selena, she threw an apologetic look her way before following Shaun down the hall and into a random bedroom. She watched him as he locked the door before turning to wrap his arms around her again. As his hands slid to her lower back before slowly lifting her shirt, she tried to pull away. "No," she whispered.
He chuckled, pushing her back towards the bed. "This can be easy or this can be hard. You have been holding out on me for too long now, baby."
"Shaun.. please.."
He shook his head, closing in on her, his hands finding the buttons on her jeans. He roughly forced them off before shoving her onto the bed. Demi closed her eyes tightly, hoping that there were going to be no visible bruises from where he was gripping her. It only lasted ten minutes, but to her it felt as long as an hour before he finally stood up, throwing her jeans at her. She tried to stand and that was when the tears hit. She fell to the floor, covering her face with her hands. He leaned over her, roughly grabbing her chin so he could force her to look at him. "You say a word about this, and I can make it worse," he growled.
She nodded, watching him back out of the room. It took her almost five minutes to compose herself enough to re-enter the party. Shaun easily found her, kissing the top of her head as he wrapped an arm around her. Her mask was on, but when she caught Selena's eye, she could tell that her friend knew something was wrong.
It was a week later when the events at the party truly sunk in. Demi was in the kitchen at Selena's when a violent attack of the shakes hit, sending her to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. A minute after, the sobbing started, and it only took Selena three seconds to rush into the room and wrap her arms around Demi tightly. "Demi.. calm down.. it's okay.. I've got you," she whispered, slowly rocking back and forth.
As she began to calm down, she made the choice that she was going to leave. She was going to forget everything, run away and never look back.. leave everything and everyone, even Selena.
---
Three years.
Three years since the night at the party. In those three years, Demi had changed in many ways. Despite being only nineteen, she was more grown up than she ever thought she would be. She was cautious, but not to a paranoid point. She knew the type to look out for in relationships, but she never persued any. Every night when she would lie in her bed, she would think of Selena, and think of the last time they saw each other.. her in Selena's arms, crying on the kitchen floor.
She had a new life now, and she hadn't seen any reminders of her past life since she left Los Angeles. At least, not until she was rushing hurridly through the entrance to a grocery store. "Mama! Slow!" a small voice rang out, close to her ear. She stopped her rushing pace, slowing into a walk as she smiled at the two and a half year old in her arms.
"Mama's sorry, honey.. but she just wants to help your cough," she said, kissing the top of her daughters head. She set the little girl down so she could scan the shelves for the proper medicine, watching her out of the corner of her eye. "Mikaya, stay here," she ordered, reaching out and grabbing the childs arm.
Snatching the proper box from the shelf, she picked up the little girl and turned to walk away, stopping when she saw the figure blocking her way. "Demi.."
If Demi had not been recieving a bop on the head from her daughter at that moment, she would have dropped the child. "Selena?"
"You have a daughter."
"Yeah."
"You've been gone three years."
"Yeah."
"I've been looking for you for three years."
Demi was silent.
"I have been all over the country, hoping to find you.. when I got a tip from a friend that you were in Miami.. I never thought I would actually find you.. and you have a daughter."
Demi readjusted how she was holding Mikaya, hoping to stop the abuse the side of her head was recieving from a stuffed animal. "Mama!" she began, her giggle interrupted by a couch.
"Look, I have to go pay for this.. she's had this cough all morning.." she mumbled, rushing past Selena towards the checkout, not paying attention to the fact that Selena was following her.
Selena followed silently until they reached Demi's car. "Will you talk to me?"
Demi sighed, turning to look at her. "How about this? I have to get her home and give her this medicine, then I will put her down for a nap.. you have a ride?" Selena nodded. "Follow me, then," she said, expertly strapping the child into her car seat.
Mikaya watched Selena with curiousity as she followed Demi up the stairs in the apartment building. Once everything was settled inside, Selena finally took a good look at the little girl. She had the same shade of brown hair that Demi once had, and her eyes were the same color that resembled a light shade of chocolate. The one thing that proved completely that this little angel belonged to Demi was her smile.. the way it reached from ear to ear.. and the small gap between her two front teeth.
After fighting with the little girl to take her medicine, Demi disappeared with her, re-emerging empty armed a few minutes later. "So, let's talk."
"What happened?" Selena asked, keeping her distance, almost afraid to approach her once best friend.
Demi bit her lip. "You.. you remember that one night at that party.. when Shaun and I went into another room?"
"Yeah."
"For a while before that, he would try and find ways to get me to have sex with him.. and I guess he was just sick of me saying no.. so he didn't take that for answer.."
"Shit.."
"And then when I broke down in your kitchen.. I knew I had to get away from everything.. but I regret leaving you.."
"I would have ran with you.. if you had just told me the truth!"
"I was going to call you.. I think at the time I was in Houston.. I was going to call you and ask you to come to me.. but then I found out I was pregnant. I just, I didn't want to drag you into that."
Selena looked around the room.. the television in the corner and the toys strewn across the floor.. before looking into Demi's eyes. "You're mom.. you're whole family.. they miss you.. they don't stop thinking about you.. they never stopped praying for you to just come home.."
"I can't go home now, though. This is my life now.. here.. with Mikaya.."
Selena shook her head. "You don't have to give all this up.. just go back and visit.. let them know you're okay. I, for one, will finally be able to sleep through the night.. knowing you are alright.. and safe."
Demi moved from the chair to the couch, her hands immediately finding Selena's. "I am so sorry."
Selena smiled, bringing her hand up to wipe the tears from Demi's eyes. "You don't have to apologize.. you're still my best friend, you know.."
Demi laughed. "Mama?"
Both young women turned to look at the little girl in the doorway. "Why are you out of bed?" Demi asked.
"I can't sleep.. tell me the tale 'bout her," she whispered, pointing at Selena. "The one about your heart."
Selena gave Demi a look, one eyebrow raised as Demi blushed. "Heart?"
The little girl climbed onto the couch, lying so her feet were on Demi's knees and her head was resting in Selena's lap. "Well, it all started when I was seven.. I was at an audition for a show, and I saw her. I was really shy, but she just looked so nice. So, I asked her to sit and color with me.. and she said yes. As we got older, we were always so close, and that is why it hurt me so bad when I left her behind.. because I realized that I was in love with her. That's why it was hurting my heart so bad."
"Mama?"
"Yeah?"
"Is it better now? Your heart?"
Demi looked up, meeting Selena's eyes. A small smile crossed her face. "I think so," she whispered.
The room was silent for a moment before Mikaya reached up, gently pulling on Selena's sleeve. "You're pretty. Like mama said."
Selena smiled. "You're a lot like your mama.."
"How?"
"You are just as beautiful, wonderful and special as she is.."
Mikaya yawned, prompting Demi to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom again. She re-entered the room, but instead of sitting down again, she began cleaning.
"Dem.. did you ever talk to anyone about what happened?"
Demi shook her head.
"Figures. Look, come back with me.. just to visit.. please?"
"Why should I? Selena, I am happy here! I have everything I need.."
"Do you?"
Demi opened her mouth but clamped it shut just as fast. "There is one thing I stil need.. but that isn't important," she whispered, watching as Selena crossed the room, stopping when she was only inches from her. "Fine. I will come back and visit."
---
Selena watched as Demi played with a giggling Mikaya in the living room of her apartment. She was about to say something to her friend when the phone connected. "Dianna? Hey, it's Lena. Look, I think I found something in Miami.. but I am not too sure about it.. can y'all come over to my place?" she asked. She nodded and gave Demi a thumbs up before disconnecting. "They'll be here in twenty," she said, sitting on the floor next to Demi.
She smiled when she realized that Demi was visibly shaking. "I have never been this nervous before.."
"It will be alright," Selena whispered.
True to the words, there was a knock on the door aproximately twenty minutes later. Selena opened the door, leading the visitors to the living room. Demi gave a small wave as her family stopped, Dianna's hand going to her mouth.
"Where in the hell have you been? We've been worried sick for the past.." Dallas stopped in her tracks, noticing the little girl who was now sitting on the couch, watching everyone intently. "Ommigod.. she looks just like you.."
"How could you just run off? Not contacting anyone.. dropping off the face of the earth.." Dianna whispered, taking one more look at Demi before turning and walking out of the house. Her step-father quickly followed her mother, but Madison stayed where she was.
"You should go away again.. it's too weird with you back.." she said quietly before turning and following the adults out of the house.
Demi put a hand over her mouth to try and stop the tears. Selena quickly wrapped her arms around her as they both looked at Dallas, who was kneeling on the floor, making her eye level with Mikaya. "Hi there.."
"Aunt Dallas.." the little girl whispered, reaching out to play with Dallas' hair. "I've seen you. In pictures. Mama missed you.. almost as much as she did Lena.."
Dallas turned and smiled at Demi. "I missed her too," she whispered.
Selena picked Mikaya up and took her into the other room, giving Demi and Dallas some space. "So, how much do you hate me?"
Dallas was quiet for a moment, her hands holding Demi's face gently. "I could never hate you.. but you could have told someone where you were."
"Mom hates me.. Eddie does because mom does.. and Maddie.."
"They need some time, babes. You disappear for three years.. do you know how hard Selena worked to find you? There were times that we thought she was going to end up digging her own grave. All she wanted to do was find you and bring you home. To somehow make everything better."
"Dallas, I love her. She is the only reason I came back.. she asked me to.. and I couldn't say no."
Dallas smirked. "You screwed each other yet?" she asked, laughing as Demi pushed her away, smiling.
---
Mikaya looked up from her toy, meeting Selena's gaze. "Lena?" she asked, her voice quiet.
"Yeah?"
"Do you love mama?"
Selena smiled. "More than my own life. Why?"
"Be with her."
"What?"
"Be with her. Then I'll see you. And.. and I will have.. two mamas!" she said, the smile stretching across her face.
"Baby, I don't know if your mama wants to be with me.."
"Her heart hurt. Now it don't. She wants you. To be with you."
"Well, I will have to talk to your mama about that.. alright?"
"Okay," she whispered, yawning.
"I think someone needs a nap."
"Tell me a story," she said, climbing into Selena's lap. "About mama."
Selena smiled, gently stroking the little girls hair. "I remember one time.. for my fourteenth birthday.. your mama got me a really funny card and a jar of pickles. We spent the whole day just watching movies in my room.. just the two of us.. that was the day I fell in love with her," she whispered.
Dallas and Demi stood in the doorway, unnoticed. Dallas leaned over, her lips pressed against her sisters ear. "I told you she's loved you for a while now.." she whispered. Demi shot her a look. "What? She tells me things."
---
It started as a simple little cough, almost one that would be caused by a dusty room. Then there was the fever, shooting up to almost one hundred and three. Demi brushed it off as a cold until she awoke in the middle of the night, coughs making her chest hurt. Selena insisted that she go to the hospital, and once she began coughing up blood, she agreed.
A week later, and all Selena could do was watch Demi through a glass window while holding Mikaya. The doctors has said Demi was going to be fine, but she didn't look fine. The tubes around her body made her small frame look even more fragile. It was killing Selena to stand there and not be able to help.
There was a hand on her shoulder, calm and reassuring. She turned to see Dianna standing there. "Let me take her so you can get some sleep," she whispered. Selena tried to pass Mikaya off, but the three year old tightened her grip around Selena's neck.
"Or not.." Selena whispered. "I'm fine." Her gaze went back to Demi. "She was supposed to be back at home by now, you know.."
"She'll be fine," Dianna said. "She's always been strong. It's gonna take more than a bad case of Pneumonia to take her down." They were quiet for a moment. "You know.. I never thanked you for tracking her down.."
"You don't have to. I did it as much for you as I did it for me. It was something that needed to be done."
"I do, though. You brought my Demi home.."
Selena gave a small smile to Dianna before readjusting Mikaya on her hip. The doctor nodded to her on his way out of the room. "Ready to go see your mama?" she asked, kissing the top of the little girls head.
She entered the room slowly, sitting next to the bed. Demi gave a weak smile as she grabbed Mikaya's hand. "Hey there, baby. You taking care of Selena?"
"Yeah. Mama, when are you coming home?"
"I don't know honey.."
Mikaya began crying, her eyes not leaving her mother. "Mama.. I want you to come home now!"
"Honey, don't cry. You're gonna make me cry, then we will all be crying.. I am gonna be fine, and I am gonna be home soon. Why don't you go out there and stand with your gramma, okay?"
Mikaya kissed Demi's hand before climbing off of Selena's lap.
"You better be fine," Selena whispered, looking at Demi. "I can't lose you.. you disappear for three years and it almost kills me.. if I actually did lose you.. I don't want to know what would happen to me.."
"Nothing would happen to you," she whispered. "Lena, face it, this doesn't look good. I don't see home in my future."
"Shut the fuck up," Selena growled. "I don't wanna hear you say that.. you're only nineteen.."
"Lena, you've heard the doctors.. complications in pneumonia never really turn out good. Maybe this is what I derserve.. I mean, I ran away and left everything behind.. karma is a bitch, you know," she whispered.
"I don't care what the doctors say.. and you don't deserve this.. not when you have that little girl. Demi, I am not going to raise her without you.. she needs you more than I do."
"Alright. I won't blame myself.. but those fucking tests don't lie. There is a really good chance I am gonna be leaving here in a body bag. Promise me," she choked out, her voice breaking. "Promise me that you will take care of Mikaya. She adores you almost as much as I do, if not more.."
"Demi.. don't make me promise you that. That means you are giving up, and that means I lose you forever.. and I can't take that. I don't want to live without you." She was silent for a moment, willing herself to say the words that were dancing on the tip of her tongue. "Marry me," she blurted out.
Without a second thought, Demi opened her mouth, "yes."
"There is a catch, though. You get better and get home before that can happen. You get better before I even think about buying you a ring."
Demi smiled. "Knowing you, there has been a ring since we were ten."
Selena couldn't help but smile. "Guilty."
"We're not telling Mikaya.."
"Why not?! She wants me as her second mom, you know.."
"I don't want her knowing anything.. not getting her hopes up.. just in case I don't get better.."
"Fine. But only because I love you and I know you aren't going anywhere," she said, looking over as the door opened.
"Mama?"
"Yeah?" Demi asked.
"No. Not you, mama. Other mama. Mama Lena.."
Demi and Selena shared a glance that was filled with pain. Mikaya was attached to Selena on a level Demi didn't think she could handle mentally at that moment. The little girl climbed into Selena's lap, adjusting herself so she was facing her mom.
"Hi mama.. okay, so, you love mama Lena, right?"
"Right."
"Kiss her."
Demi snorted at the demand that left her childs mouth. "I can't, baby. Then I would get her sick."
Mikaya pouted. Selena, smirking, took Demi's hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it, causing Mikaya to giggle happily and Demi to look down, the blush creeping from her face to the tips of her ears.
"Oh! I made you a card!" Mikaya said, fussing to climb off of Selena. She took off out the door and Selena looked at Demi.
"I don't like how attached she is. I mean.. what if something does happen.. she has her little heart set on us being a family," Demi mumbled.
Selena bit her lip, wanting desperately to change the subject. "You blushed, like, you looked like a tomato when I kissed your hand," she whispered, smiling.
Mikaya rushed back into the room and handed Demi a card. "Gramma and Aunt Dallas helped," she breathed, almost climbing on the bed to see her mothers reaction. Demi looked down at the crayon scribbled across the paper. She recognized her sisters writing for the words 'I Love You Mama, Get Better!' and she couldn't help but smile at the obviously three year old drawn portrait of what appeared to be herself, Selena and Mikaya in front of an off-balance house. "It's us. When you come home.. we will be together, forever. A family. Mama Lena comes with, cause I love her.. and she loves you.. and you love her.. and I want her to stay.."
---
Selena stuck her head in the bedroom, smiling when she saw Demi fast asleep and Mikaya sitting on the foot of the bed watching her. "Hey princess, come on out here and let her sleep," she whispered, picking the little girl up. "I think you can leave her alone for a while.. she isn't going anywhere."
Mikaya rubbed her eyes. "Can you make grilled cheese sammiches?"
"I make the best," she said, sitting the girl on one of the stools at the counter. The three year old watch with interest as Selena began making them lunch.
"Mama Lena.. did you get scared when mama had all the doccies around her?"
Selena looked up, her face blank. "At first I was fine.. I know how strong your mama is and she wasn't gonna go away easily.. but there was one time.. remember when we slept in her room when she was really sick?"
"Yeah.." she whispered, her eyes focused on her hands.
"That's when I got really scared. The doctors were doing so much, and I could tell your mama was fighting but it was still so hard. I got so scared because I love your mama, and I wanted her to be around for a much longer time.. just like you do."
"Did mama know?"
"No. She didn't need to know how scared I was. I had to be alright and strong so she could see me, and see you being brave.. and we would help her get better.. and we did."
"We did?"
"Yeah, sweetie, we did. She knows that we love her more than anything, and we tell her that all the time. That makes it easier for her to take her medicine and get better."
"Did you always tell her that?"
Selena frowned. "No.."
"Why?"
Selena kept the frown on her face, putting a cut up grilled cheese in front of the little girl. Neither noticed Demi standing in the hallway, listening intently. "I was afraid.."
"Of what?"
"I may be strong now.. but I wasn't always this strong.. and I was afraid to have people knowing how I felt about your mama, cause people can be really mean sometimes."
"People are stupid," Mikaya said, taking a bite of food.
"How are my two favorite girls?" Demi asked, stepping into the room and kissing the top of Mikayas head.
"Mama Lena made grilled cheese!" she said happily.
"She does make good grilled cheese."
"And she told me a story! It was 'bout stupid people who scared her.. but everything is better cause she tells you she loves you."
"Yeah, that does make everything better," she whispered, smiling at Selena.
"Mama?"
"Yeah?" Demi and Selena started laughing as they both answered.
"First mama.."
"Yeah, baby?" Demi asked, looking at her daughter.
"What's marriage?"
"What?"
"Aunt Dallas was talking to me.. when you were sick.. she said when you get better.. she thinks you and Mama Lena should get married.. cause you are sposed to be together forever.."
Selena grinned, looking up at Demi.
"Do you want to be with Mama Lena forever?"
Demi blushed a deep shade of red before mumbling, "yes."
Mikaya turned to Selena. "Do you want to be with Mama forever?"
"Yeah, I do."
The little girl climbed down. "Alright. Good. Let's go get married."
As she walked down the hallway, Selena and Demi glanced at each other, grinning. "What just happened?"
"I think our daughter just made us propose to each other," Selena said.
Demi giggled, moving next to Selena and wrapping her arms around her. "You just said our."
It was Selena's turn to blush. "Well, if we are going to be together forever.. she is ours, right?"
---
Demi felt a sense of freedom as she walked into the music store. Ever since she had been released from the hospital, it felt like Selena had been keeping her under lock and key. Smiling as her fingers ran lightly over the guitars designed for young children, she stopped when she saw it. Light pink with a built in amp, the speaker covering patterened in pink camo. "Mikaya will love this," she whispered.
"Demi."
Her blood ran cold at the voice.. the voice that hadn't changed in almost four years. "Shaun?" she asked, turning around.
"Nice to see you remember my name," he said, smirking at her. "That is an awfully adorable little guitar. Who are you buying it for?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
"Stay away from me.."
"Oh, Demi, don't you know how much I have missed you? How much I have thought about you? It's been so long since that night.."
"The night you raped me," she mumbled. She grabbed the guitar before heading quickly to the counter. Shaun followed her silently, even as she went to the car. He put his hand up, stopping her from opening the door.
"Now, do you have to look on that so negatively?"
"Shaun, you got me pregnant! I was sixteen, and you got me pregnant. I left everyone and everything I loved here.."
His face paled. "Boy or a girl?" he asked, his voice softer.
Against her better judgement, Demi let down her guard. "Girl. Her name is Mikaya. She, uh, is gonna be four in about five months."
He smiled, and Demi could tell it wasn't his strange sick satisfaction smile, but a genuine interest one. "I bet she looks just like you.."
"She does. Sadly, she also got my attitude. But she is beautiful.."
He looked down. "Can.. can I meet her? I mean, does she even know she has a dad?"
Demi put the guitar into the backseat before looking at Shaun. "She knows that at one point I was in a relationship with a guy, but all she has known is either just myself and her.. or myself and Selena. And, I would love for you to meet her.. just so you see that even something as horrible that you did, has the most amazing outcome sometimes. I know Selena won't ever go for it.."
"Who cares? She is your daughter. Ours."
"No, she isn't ours. She is my and Selena's daughter. Anything that involves Mikaya, I clear with Selena."
He sighed. "Talk to her." He gave her one last look before heading off.
---
Demi entered the house, closing the door behind her, making sure it was locked tightly. "Mikaya! Come here!" she called out, smiling as Selena entered the room carrying the little girl. "I got you a present," she said.
"What is it?!" the little girl asked excitedly.
Demi showed the guitar to her daughter, smiling as Mikaya began jumping. "Your very own guitar."
"Mama! I love it! I'm gonna go play it!" she squealed, heading off to her room. Demi leaned against the door, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly.
"Are you alright?" Selena asked, putting a hand on her arm.
"I saw Shaun."
"What?! What happened? Are you alright?"
Demi nodded. "I am fine, I promise.. I told him about Mikaya.."
"He better keep his ass clear of here.. it isn't good for you.. or for her," she said.
"Sel.. I want to let him see her."
"If you let him near her, I will walk away and never look back," Selena said, her eyes locking with Demi's. "I don't want him near her. I don't want him thinking about her. This isn't good Demi.. he cannot have good reasons for this.. please don't make me walk away.. but I will.."
"Then walk. She is my daughter, and I am going to let Shaun see her," she said, her voice even.
"When the shit hits the fan, don't come crying to me."
Selena let her hand rest on the doorknob, just wishing for Demi to stop her. "I don't plan on it.."
The door opened, Selena stepping outside. "I'll come back to get my stuff.."
Demi watched her walk away, tears forcing their way out of her eyes. "You shouldn't say forever if you don't mean it!" she yelled.
Selena stopped in her tracks, turning to look back. "I will love you forever, Demi, but I cannot just sit there and watch you make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. I refuse to do that."
Demi slammed the door, turning and seeing Mikaya standing in the hall. "Where did Mama Lena go?" she asked. Without speaking a word, Demi picked up her daughter and held her tightly as they both cried.
---
"Mama Lena and I were talking, and we didn't like what was said to each other.. and she said she wanted to leave, so I let her," Demi whispered, rocking back and forth slowly on the couch with her daughter in her arms.
"But don't you love her?"
"I love her almost as much as I love you, and that is why I am hurting really bad right now.."
Mikaya was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly playing with a section of her moms hair. "Is she gonna come home?"
"I don't know, baby.. I really don't," she whispered, kissing the top of her daughters head.
"Mama, what did you say to her?"
Demi closed her eyes, trying to figure out the one good answer to that question. "Remember when I told you that I didn't get along with your dad?" Mikaya nodded. "Well, I saw him today, and he wants to meet you.. Mama Lena didn't want that to happen.. she wants it to just be the three of us as a family.."
"But it's my dad.."
"I know, honey. But she knows things that I will never tell you that make me think if I let him see you, that it might be a mistake. I know it will, but, I want you to at least know him.."
"Even if it is bad, I still love you," she whispered, kissing her moms cheek. "I'll always love you.. and I will always be here.."
"I love you more," Demi mumbled.
"So, when is he gonna come see me?"
"Tomorrow afternoon," she replied.
"Can I make him a card, mama?"
Demi smiled. "Of course you can."
---
The knock on the door made Demi jump, causing Mikaya to giggle. "Is that him?"
"Yeah," Demi said, picking up the little girl. She moved to the door and opened it slowly, revealing Shaun, who was holding a small boquet of flowers and a small bag. "Come in," she mumbled.
"Nice place," he noted, handing her the flowers.
"Thanks.. so, Mikaya, this is Shaun.. your dad.. Shaun, this is Mikaya."
He smiled at the little girl. "You are more beautiful than your mother. I got you something," he said, opening the bag, pulling out a pink guitar strap. "I know your mom got you a guitar, but every good rocker needs a guitar strap," he said, handing it to the little girl, who quietly handed him a card.
"I made this," she whispered.
He looked down at the card, smiling at the crayon figures on it. "It's beautiful. I will put this on my fridge when I get home."
"Cool," Mikaya said, still clutching to her mom.
---
After a week with no incident had passed, Demi almost felt like calling Selena to rub it in her face. She had the phone in her hand when she opened her daughters bedroom door, noticing immediately the broken guitar on the floor and the empty bed. "Mikaya?" she called out, stepping back into the hall. "Mikaya!"
She stumbled into the wall, dialing 911. After explaining in an almost hysterical tone that her three and a half year old daughter was missing, she found herself calling Selena. "I'm still mad at you," Selena said the second the phone connected.
"Selena, I am so sorry. I should have listened to you.. he was bad news.."
"Demi? Calm down.. what happened?"
"He.. he has Mikaya.. he took her.. he has my baby," she cried. "I called the police, but, Lena.. he has my baby."
"I'll be there in ten minutes," she said, disconnecting.
Demi numbly went into her daughters room and sat on the floor, pulling the broken guitar into her arms, holding it tightly. She could hear the door being broken, minutes later two cops were in the doorway. A second later, she heard Selena fighting past more cops. She stopped in the door to the bedroom, her gaze settling on Demi. The nineteen year old was holding the remains of the guitar, rocking back and forth, mumbling something.
"Demi.."
Selena dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around Demi. "Lena.. he has her.."
"It's gonna be okay, Dem, I promise.. we're gonna find her.. we're gonna find our little girl.."
In two weeks, Demi had become so broken that Selena was now working with the police to find the little girl. She put on a brave face whenever she was with Demi, and that happened to be almost every second of each day. Demi ran herself until she couldn't think straight, she stayed up until pure exhaustion knocked her out, and even then she only slept for an hour or two at a time, and it was never a peaceful sleep. Selena had to force her to eat, and she held Demi every single time she needed to be held.
Selena knew that Demi was blaming herself, and that killed her.
Demi had just fallen asleep when there was a knock on the door. Easing herself off of the bed, she made her way to the door, opening it to reveal a police officer. "Can I help you?" she asked, exhaustion filling her voice.
"I need to take yourself and Miss Lovato to the hospital.. we have Mikaya," he said, a small smile on his face.
"Is she alright?!"
"It's just procedure to have her checked out. She seems unharmed, just missing her mom," he said.
"Hold on," she said, turning and running to the bedroom. "Demi! Wake up!" she said, placing a kiss on Demi's forehead. "Demi, come on! We have to go! They found her!"
Demi's mind was a blur as she quickly threw her shoes on, grabbing her bag and snatching her phone from the nightstand as she followed Selena out to the car.
Twenty minutes later, Demi had her daughter in her arms, holding her tightly. Mikaya had one arm wrapped tightly around her mothers neck while her free hand reached out to hold tightly to Selena's hand. "I was so scared," Demi whispered, kissing the top of Mikaya's head.
"Mama, he broke my guitar. I wanted to bring it with me.. to practice.. and he broke it.." she whispered, looking at her mom. Demi kissed her daughters forehead. "Mama, I am fine. Let me go," she whined. "What's the big deal?! It was just a guitar!"
Demi laughed, pulling her daughter close again. "Baby, we can get you another guitar.. I can't get another you.." she whispered, looking up at Selena. "We couldn't get another you."
6000 and something words
He made her smile. He was good to her. Those were her reasons when people would look at her funny for being with someone who was four years older. The reasons worked, too. No one gave it a second glance after that. As long as Demi was happy, they were satisfied. The real reason she was with him was that she just didn't want to admit anything different. She didn't want to further alienate herself from her friends and family. They had enough trouble accepting that she was growing up, so to somehow throw the word lesbian onto that pile seemed too much. For now, she was happy just pretending like nothing was wrong.. pretending she was giving her heart to the greatest man she had ever met.
But he was actually her biggest mistake. Had she decided to not go to the party, she would have learnt it later rather than sooner. Things were running as normal as she stood in a corner talking to Selena, just loving the comfort level of being with her best friend. Then Shaun wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck. "Come with me," he whispered.
Looking at Selena, she threw an apologetic look her way before following Shaun down the hall and into a random bedroom. She watched him as he locked the door before turning to wrap his arms around her again. As his hands slid to her lower back before slowly lifting her shirt, she tried to pull away. "No," she whispered.
He chuckled, pushing her back towards the bed. "This can be easy or this can be hard. You have been holding out on me for too long now, baby."
"Shaun.. please.."
He shook his head, closing in on her, his hands finding the buttons on her jeans. He roughly forced them off before shoving her onto the bed. Demi closed her eyes tightly, hoping that there were going to be no visible bruises from where he was gripping her. It only lasted ten minutes, but to her it felt as long as an hour before he finally stood up, throwing her jeans at her. She tried to stand and that was when the tears hit. She fell to the floor, covering her face with her hands. He leaned over her, roughly grabbing her chin so he could force her to look at him. "You say a word about this, and I can make it worse," he growled.
She nodded, watching him back out of the room. It took her almost five minutes to compose herself enough to re-enter the party. Shaun easily found her, kissing the top of her head as he wrapped an arm around her. Her mask was on, but when she caught Selena's eye, she could tell that her friend knew something was wrong.
It was a week later when the events at the party truly sunk in. Demi was in the kitchen at Selena's when a violent attack of the shakes hit, sending her to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. A minute after, the sobbing started, and it only took Selena three seconds to rush into the room and wrap her arms around Demi tightly. "Demi.. calm down.. it's okay.. I've got you," she whispered, slowly rocking back and forth.
As she began to calm down, she made the choice that she was going to leave. She was going to forget everything, run away and never look back.. leave everything and everyone, even Selena.
---
Three years.
Three years since the night at the party. In those three years, Demi had changed in many ways. Despite being only nineteen, she was more grown up than she ever thought she would be. She was cautious, but not to a paranoid point. She knew the type to look out for in relationships, but she never persued any. Every night when she would lie in her bed, she would think of Selena, and think of the last time they saw each other.. her in Selena's arms, crying on the kitchen floor.
She had a new life now, and she hadn't seen any reminders of her past life since she left Los Angeles. At least, not until she was rushing hurridly through the entrance to a grocery store. "Mama! Slow!" a small voice rang out, close to her ear. She stopped her rushing pace, slowing into a walk as she smiled at the two and a half year old in her arms.
"Mama's sorry, honey.. but she just wants to help your cough," she said, kissing the top of her daughters head. She set the little girl down so she could scan the shelves for the proper medicine, watching her out of the corner of her eye. "Mikaya, stay here," she ordered, reaching out and grabbing the childs arm.
Snatching the proper box from the shelf, she picked up the little girl and turned to walk away, stopping when she saw the figure blocking her way. "Demi.."
If Demi had not been recieving a bop on the head from her daughter at that moment, she would have dropped the child. "Selena?"
"You have a daughter."
"Yeah."
"You've been gone three years."
"Yeah."
"I've been looking for you for three years."
Demi was silent.
"I have been all over the country, hoping to find you.. when I got a tip from a friend that you were in Miami.. I never thought I would actually find you.. and you have a daughter."
Demi readjusted how she was holding Mikaya, hoping to stop the abuse the side of her head was recieving from a stuffed animal. "Mama!" she began, her giggle interrupted by a couch.
"Look, I have to go pay for this.. she's had this cough all morning.." she mumbled, rushing past Selena towards the checkout, not paying attention to the fact that Selena was following her.
Selena followed silently until they reached Demi's car. "Will you talk to me?"
Demi sighed, turning to look at her. "How about this? I have to get her home and give her this medicine, then I will put her down for a nap.. you have a ride?" Selena nodded. "Follow me, then," she said, expertly strapping the child into her car seat.
Mikaya watched Selena with curiousity as she followed Demi up the stairs in the apartment building. Once everything was settled inside, Selena finally took a good look at the little girl. She had the same shade of brown hair that Demi once had, and her eyes were the same color that resembled a light shade of chocolate. The one thing that proved completely that this little angel belonged to Demi was her smile.. the way it reached from ear to ear.. and the small gap between her two front teeth.
After fighting with the little girl to take her medicine, Demi disappeared with her, re-emerging empty armed a few minutes later. "So, let's talk."
"What happened?" Selena asked, keeping her distance, almost afraid to approach her once best friend.
Demi bit her lip. "You.. you remember that one night at that party.. when Shaun and I went into another room?"
"Yeah."
"For a while before that, he would try and find ways to get me to have sex with him.. and I guess he was just sick of me saying no.. so he didn't take that for answer.."
"Shit.."
"And then when I broke down in your kitchen.. I knew I had to get away from everything.. but I regret leaving you.."
"I would have ran with you.. if you had just told me the truth!"
"I was going to call you.. I think at the time I was in Houston.. I was going to call you and ask you to come to me.. but then I found out I was pregnant. I just, I didn't want to drag you into that."
Selena looked around the room.. the television in the corner and the toys strewn across the floor.. before looking into Demi's eyes. "You're mom.. you're whole family.. they miss you.. they don't stop thinking about you.. they never stopped praying for you to just come home.."
"I can't go home now, though. This is my life now.. here.. with Mikaya.."
Selena shook her head. "You don't have to give all this up.. just go back and visit.. let them know you're okay. I, for one, will finally be able to sleep through the night.. knowing you are alright.. and safe."
Demi moved from the chair to the couch, her hands immediately finding Selena's. "I am so sorry."
Selena smiled, bringing her hand up to wipe the tears from Demi's eyes. "You don't have to apologize.. you're still my best friend, you know.."
Demi laughed. "Mama?"
Both young women turned to look at the little girl in the doorway. "Why are you out of bed?" Demi asked.
"I can't sleep.. tell me the tale 'bout her," she whispered, pointing at Selena. "The one about your heart."
Selena gave Demi a look, one eyebrow raised as Demi blushed. "Heart?"
The little girl climbed onto the couch, lying so her feet were on Demi's knees and her head was resting in Selena's lap. "Well, it all started when I was seven.. I was at an audition for a show, and I saw her. I was really shy, but she just looked so nice. So, I asked her to sit and color with me.. and she said yes. As we got older, we were always so close, and that is why it hurt me so bad when I left her behind.. because I realized that I was in love with her. That's why it was hurting my heart so bad."
"Mama?"
"Yeah?"
"Is it better now? Your heart?"
Demi looked up, meeting Selena's eyes. A small smile crossed her face. "I think so," she whispered.
The room was silent for a moment before Mikaya reached up, gently pulling on Selena's sleeve. "You're pretty. Like mama said."
Selena smiled. "You're a lot like your mama.."
"How?"
"You are just as beautiful, wonderful and special as she is.."
Mikaya yawned, prompting Demi to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom again. She re-entered the room, but instead of sitting down again, she began cleaning.
"Dem.. did you ever talk to anyone about what happened?"
Demi shook her head.
"Figures. Look, come back with me.. just to visit.. please?"
"Why should I? Selena, I am happy here! I have everything I need.."
"Do you?"
Demi opened her mouth but clamped it shut just as fast. "There is one thing I stil need.. but that isn't important," she whispered, watching as Selena crossed the room, stopping when she was only inches from her. "Fine. I will come back and visit."
---
Selena watched as Demi played with a giggling Mikaya in the living room of her apartment. She was about to say something to her friend when the phone connected. "Dianna? Hey, it's Lena. Look, I think I found something in Miami.. but I am not too sure about it.. can y'all come over to my place?" she asked. She nodded and gave Demi a thumbs up before disconnecting. "They'll be here in twenty," she said, sitting on the floor next to Demi.
She smiled when she realized that Demi was visibly shaking. "I have never been this nervous before.."
"It will be alright," Selena whispered.
True to the words, there was a knock on the door aproximately twenty minutes later. Selena opened the door, leading the visitors to the living room. Demi gave a small wave as her family stopped, Dianna's hand going to her mouth.
"Where in the hell have you been? We've been worried sick for the past.." Dallas stopped in her tracks, noticing the little girl who was now sitting on the couch, watching everyone intently. "Ommigod.. she looks just like you.."
"How could you just run off? Not contacting anyone.. dropping off the face of the earth.." Dianna whispered, taking one more look at Demi before turning and walking out of the house. Her step-father quickly followed her mother, but Madison stayed where she was.
"You should go away again.. it's too weird with you back.." she said quietly before turning and following the adults out of the house.
Demi put a hand over her mouth to try and stop the tears. Selena quickly wrapped her arms around her as they both looked at Dallas, who was kneeling on the floor, making her eye level with Mikaya. "Hi there.."
"Aunt Dallas.." the little girl whispered, reaching out to play with Dallas' hair. "I've seen you. In pictures. Mama missed you.. almost as much as she did Lena.."
Dallas turned and smiled at Demi. "I missed her too," she whispered.
Selena picked Mikaya up and took her into the other room, giving Demi and Dallas some space. "So, how much do you hate me?"
Dallas was quiet for a moment, her hands holding Demi's face gently. "I could never hate you.. but you could have told someone where you were."
"Mom hates me.. Eddie does because mom does.. and Maddie.."
"They need some time, babes. You disappear for three years.. do you know how hard Selena worked to find you? There were times that we thought she was going to end up digging her own grave. All she wanted to do was find you and bring you home. To somehow make everything better."
"Dallas, I love her. She is the only reason I came back.. she asked me to.. and I couldn't say no."
Dallas smirked. "You screwed each other yet?" she asked, laughing as Demi pushed her away, smiling.
---
Mikaya looked up from her toy, meeting Selena's gaze. "Lena?" she asked, her voice quiet.
"Yeah?"
"Do you love mama?"
Selena smiled. "More than my own life. Why?"
"Be with her."
"What?"
"Be with her. Then I'll see you. And.. and I will have.. two mamas!" she said, the smile stretching across her face.
"Baby, I don't know if your mama wants to be with me.."
"Her heart hurt. Now it don't. She wants you. To be with you."
"Well, I will have to talk to your mama about that.. alright?"
"Okay," she whispered, yawning.
"I think someone needs a nap."
"Tell me a story," she said, climbing into Selena's lap. "About mama."
Selena smiled, gently stroking the little girls hair. "I remember one time.. for my fourteenth birthday.. your mama got me a really funny card and a jar of pickles. We spent the whole day just watching movies in my room.. just the two of us.. that was the day I fell in love with her," she whispered.
Dallas and Demi stood in the doorway, unnoticed. Dallas leaned over, her lips pressed against her sisters ear. "I told you she's loved you for a while now.." she whispered. Demi shot her a look. "What? She tells me things."
---
It started as a simple little cough, almost one that would be caused by a dusty room. Then there was the fever, shooting up to almost one hundred and three. Demi brushed it off as a cold until she awoke in the middle of the night, coughs making her chest hurt. Selena insisted that she go to the hospital, and once she began coughing up blood, she agreed.
A week later, and all Selena could do was watch Demi through a glass window while holding Mikaya. The doctors has said Demi was going to be fine, but she didn't look fine. The tubes around her body made her small frame look even more fragile. It was killing Selena to stand there and not be able to help.
There was a hand on her shoulder, calm and reassuring. She turned to see Dianna standing there. "Let me take her so you can get some sleep," she whispered. Selena tried to pass Mikaya off, but the three year old tightened her grip around Selena's neck.
"Or not.." Selena whispered. "I'm fine." Her gaze went back to Demi. "She was supposed to be back at home by now, you know.."
"She'll be fine," Dianna said. "She's always been strong. It's gonna take more than a bad case of Pneumonia to take her down." They were quiet for a moment. "You know.. I never thanked you for tracking her down.."
"You don't have to. I did it as much for you as I did it for me. It was something that needed to be done."
"I do, though. You brought my Demi home.."
Selena gave a small smile to Dianna before readjusting Mikaya on her hip. The doctor nodded to her on his way out of the room. "Ready to go see your mama?" she asked, kissing the top of the little girls head.
She entered the room slowly, sitting next to the bed. Demi gave a weak smile as she grabbed Mikaya's hand. "Hey there, baby. You taking care of Selena?"
"Yeah. Mama, when are you coming home?"
"I don't know honey.."
Mikaya began crying, her eyes not leaving her mother. "Mama.. I want you to come home now!"
"Honey, don't cry. You're gonna make me cry, then we will all be crying.. I am gonna be fine, and I am gonna be home soon. Why don't you go out there and stand with your gramma, okay?"
Mikaya kissed Demi's hand before climbing off of Selena's lap.
"You better be fine," Selena whispered, looking at Demi. "I can't lose you.. you disappear for three years and it almost kills me.. if I actually did lose you.. I don't want to know what would happen to me.."
"Nothing would happen to you," she whispered. "Lena, face it, this doesn't look good. I don't see home in my future."
"Shut the fuck up," Selena growled. "I don't wanna hear you say that.. you're only nineteen.."
"Lena, you've heard the doctors.. complications in pneumonia never really turn out good. Maybe this is what I derserve.. I mean, I ran away and left everything behind.. karma is a bitch, you know," she whispered.
"I don't care what the doctors say.. and you don't deserve this.. not when you have that little girl. Demi, I am not going to raise her without you.. she needs you more than I do."
"Alright. I won't blame myself.. but those fucking tests don't lie. There is a really good chance I am gonna be leaving here in a body bag. Promise me," she choked out, her voice breaking. "Promise me that you will take care of Mikaya. She adores you almost as much as I do, if not more.."
"Demi.. don't make me promise you that. That means you are giving up, and that means I lose you forever.. and I can't take that. I don't want to live without you." She was silent for a moment, willing herself to say the words that were dancing on the tip of her tongue. "Marry me," she blurted out.
Without a second thought, Demi opened her mouth, "yes."
"There is a catch, though. You get better and get home before that can happen. You get better before I even think about buying you a ring."
Demi smiled. "Knowing you, there has been a ring since we were ten."
Selena couldn't help but smile. "Guilty."
"We're not telling Mikaya.."
"Why not?! She wants me as her second mom, you know.."
"I don't want her knowing anything.. not getting her hopes up.. just in case I don't get better.."
"Fine. But only because I love you and I know you aren't going anywhere," she said, looking over as the door opened.
"Mama?"
"Yeah?" Demi asked.
"No. Not you, mama. Other mama. Mama Lena.."
Demi and Selena shared a glance that was filled with pain. Mikaya was attached to Selena on a level Demi didn't think she could handle mentally at that moment. The little girl climbed into Selena's lap, adjusting herself so she was facing her mom.
"Hi mama.. okay, so, you love mama Lena, right?"
"Right."
"Kiss her."
Demi snorted at the demand that left her childs mouth. "I can't, baby. Then I would get her sick."
Mikaya pouted. Selena, smirking, took Demi's hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it, causing Mikaya to giggle happily and Demi to look down, the blush creeping from her face to the tips of her ears.
"Oh! I made you a card!" Mikaya said, fussing to climb off of Selena. She took off out the door and Selena looked at Demi.
"I don't like how attached she is. I mean.. what if something does happen.. she has her little heart set on us being a family," Demi mumbled.
Selena bit her lip, wanting desperately to change the subject. "You blushed, like, you looked like a tomato when I kissed your hand," she whispered, smiling.
Mikaya rushed back into the room and handed Demi a card. "Gramma and Aunt Dallas helped," she breathed, almost climbing on the bed to see her mothers reaction. Demi looked down at the crayon scribbled across the paper. She recognized her sisters writing for the words 'I Love You Mama, Get Better!' and she couldn't help but smile at the obviously three year old drawn portrait of what appeared to be herself, Selena and Mikaya in front of an off-balance house. "It's us. When you come home.. we will be together, forever. A family. Mama Lena comes with, cause I love her.. and she loves you.. and you love her.. and I want her to stay.."
---
Selena stuck her head in the bedroom, smiling when she saw Demi fast asleep and Mikaya sitting on the foot of the bed watching her. "Hey princess, come on out here and let her sleep," she whispered, picking the little girl up. "I think you can leave her alone for a while.. she isn't going anywhere."
Mikaya rubbed her eyes. "Can you make grilled cheese sammiches?"
"I make the best," she said, sitting the girl on one of the stools at the counter. The three year old watch with interest as Selena began making them lunch.
"Mama Lena.. did you get scared when mama had all the doccies around her?"
Selena looked up, her face blank. "At first I was fine.. I know how strong your mama is and she wasn't gonna go away easily.. but there was one time.. remember when we slept in her room when she was really sick?"
"Yeah.." she whispered, her eyes focused on her hands.
"That's when I got really scared. The doctors were doing so much, and I could tell your mama was fighting but it was still so hard. I got so scared because I love your mama, and I wanted her to be around for a much longer time.. just like you do."
"Did mama know?"
"No. She didn't need to know how scared I was. I had to be alright and strong so she could see me, and see you being brave.. and we would help her get better.. and we did."
"We did?"
"Yeah, sweetie, we did. She knows that we love her more than anything, and we tell her that all the time. That makes it easier for her to take her medicine and get better."
"Did you always tell her that?"
Selena frowned. "No.."
"Why?"
Selena kept the frown on her face, putting a cut up grilled cheese in front of the little girl. Neither noticed Demi standing in the hallway, listening intently. "I was afraid.."
"Of what?"
"I may be strong now.. but I wasn't always this strong.. and I was afraid to have people knowing how I felt about your mama, cause people can be really mean sometimes."
"People are stupid," Mikaya said, taking a bite of food.
"How are my two favorite girls?" Demi asked, stepping into the room and kissing the top of Mikayas head.
"Mama Lena made grilled cheese!" she said happily.
"She does make good grilled cheese."
"And she told me a story! It was 'bout stupid people who scared her.. but everything is better cause she tells you she loves you."
"Yeah, that does make everything better," she whispered, smiling at Selena.
"Mama?"
"Yeah?" Demi and Selena started laughing as they both answered.
"First mama.."
"Yeah, baby?" Demi asked, looking at her daughter.
"What's marriage?"
"What?"
"Aunt Dallas was talking to me.. when you were sick.. she said when you get better.. she thinks you and Mama Lena should get married.. cause you are sposed to be together forever.."
Selena grinned, looking up at Demi.
"Do you want to be with Mama Lena forever?"
Demi blushed a deep shade of red before mumbling, "yes."
Mikaya turned to Selena. "Do you want to be with Mama forever?"
"Yeah, I do."
The little girl climbed down. "Alright. Good. Let's go get married."
As she walked down the hallway, Selena and Demi glanced at each other, grinning. "What just happened?"
"I think our daughter just made us propose to each other," Selena said.
Demi giggled, moving next to Selena and wrapping her arms around her. "You just said our."
It was Selena's turn to blush. "Well, if we are going to be together forever.. she is ours, right?"
---
Demi felt a sense of freedom as she walked into the music store. Ever since she had been released from the hospital, it felt like Selena had been keeping her under lock and key. Smiling as her fingers ran lightly over the guitars designed for young children, she stopped when she saw it. Light pink with a built in amp, the speaker covering patterened in pink camo. "Mikaya will love this," she whispered.
"Demi."
Her blood ran cold at the voice.. the voice that hadn't changed in almost four years. "Shaun?" she asked, turning around.
"Nice to see you remember my name," he said, smirking at her. "That is an awfully adorable little guitar. Who are you buying it for?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
"Stay away from me.."
"Oh, Demi, don't you know how much I have missed you? How much I have thought about you? It's been so long since that night.."
"The night you raped me," she mumbled. She grabbed the guitar before heading quickly to the counter. Shaun followed her silently, even as she went to the car. He put his hand up, stopping her from opening the door.
"Now, do you have to look on that so negatively?"
"Shaun, you got me pregnant! I was sixteen, and you got me pregnant. I left everyone and everything I loved here.."
His face paled. "Boy or a girl?" he asked, his voice softer.
Against her better judgement, Demi let down her guard. "Girl. Her name is Mikaya. She, uh, is gonna be four in about five months."
He smiled, and Demi could tell it wasn't his strange sick satisfaction smile, but a genuine interest one. "I bet she looks just like you.."
"She does. Sadly, she also got my attitude. But she is beautiful.."
He looked down. "Can.. can I meet her? I mean, does she even know she has a dad?"
Demi put the guitar into the backseat before looking at Shaun. "She knows that at one point I was in a relationship with a guy, but all she has known is either just myself and her.. or myself and Selena. And, I would love for you to meet her.. just so you see that even something as horrible that you did, has the most amazing outcome sometimes. I know Selena won't ever go for it.."
"Who cares? She is your daughter. Ours."
"No, she isn't ours. She is my and Selena's daughter. Anything that involves Mikaya, I clear with Selena."
He sighed. "Talk to her." He gave her one last look before heading off.
---
Demi entered the house, closing the door behind her, making sure it was locked tightly. "Mikaya! Come here!" she called out, smiling as Selena entered the room carrying the little girl. "I got you a present," she said.
"What is it?!" the little girl asked excitedly.
Demi showed the guitar to her daughter, smiling as Mikaya began jumping. "Your very own guitar."
"Mama! I love it! I'm gonna go play it!" she squealed, heading off to her room. Demi leaned against the door, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly.
"Are you alright?" Selena asked, putting a hand on her arm.
"I saw Shaun."
"What?! What happened? Are you alright?"
Demi nodded. "I am fine, I promise.. I told him about Mikaya.."
"He better keep his ass clear of here.. it isn't good for you.. or for her," she said.
"Sel.. I want to let him see her."
"If you let him near her, I will walk away and never look back," Selena said, her eyes locking with Demi's. "I don't want him near her. I don't want him thinking about her. This isn't good Demi.. he cannot have good reasons for this.. please don't make me walk away.. but I will.."
"Then walk. She is my daughter, and I am going to let Shaun see her," she said, her voice even.
"When the shit hits the fan, don't come crying to me."
Selena let her hand rest on the doorknob, just wishing for Demi to stop her. "I don't plan on it.."
The door opened, Selena stepping outside. "I'll come back to get my stuff.."
Demi watched her walk away, tears forcing their way out of her eyes. "You shouldn't say forever if you don't mean it!" she yelled.
Selena stopped in her tracks, turning to look back. "I will love you forever, Demi, but I cannot just sit there and watch you make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. I refuse to do that."
Demi slammed the door, turning and seeing Mikaya standing in the hall. "Where did Mama Lena go?" she asked. Without speaking a word, Demi picked up her daughter and held her tightly as they both cried.
---
"Mama Lena and I were talking, and we didn't like what was said to each other.. and she said she wanted to leave, so I let her," Demi whispered, rocking back and forth slowly on the couch with her daughter in her arms.
"But don't you love her?"
"I love her almost as much as I love you, and that is why I am hurting really bad right now.."
Mikaya was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly playing with a section of her moms hair. "Is she gonna come home?"
"I don't know, baby.. I really don't," she whispered, kissing the top of her daughters head.
"Mama, what did you say to her?"
Demi closed her eyes, trying to figure out the one good answer to that question. "Remember when I told you that I didn't get along with your dad?" Mikaya nodded. "Well, I saw him today, and he wants to meet you.. Mama Lena didn't want that to happen.. she wants it to just be the three of us as a family.."
"But it's my dad.."
"I know, honey. But she knows things that I will never tell you that make me think if I let him see you, that it might be a mistake. I know it will, but, I want you to at least know him.."
"Even if it is bad, I still love you," she whispered, kissing her moms cheek. "I'll always love you.. and I will always be here.."
"I love you more," Demi mumbled.
"So, when is he gonna come see me?"
"Tomorrow afternoon," she replied.
"Can I make him a card, mama?"
Demi smiled. "Of course you can."
---
The knock on the door made Demi jump, causing Mikaya to giggle. "Is that him?"
"Yeah," Demi said, picking up the little girl. She moved to the door and opened it slowly, revealing Shaun, who was holding a small boquet of flowers and a small bag. "Come in," she mumbled.
"Nice place," he noted, handing her the flowers.
"Thanks.. so, Mikaya, this is Shaun.. your dad.. Shaun, this is Mikaya."
He smiled at the little girl. "You are more beautiful than your mother. I got you something," he said, opening the bag, pulling out a pink guitar strap. "I know your mom got you a guitar, but every good rocker needs a guitar strap," he said, handing it to the little girl, who quietly handed him a card.
"I made this," she whispered.
He looked down at the card, smiling at the crayon figures on it. "It's beautiful. I will put this on my fridge when I get home."
"Cool," Mikaya said, still clutching to her mom.
---
After a week with no incident had passed, Demi almost felt like calling Selena to rub it in her face. She had the phone in her hand when she opened her daughters bedroom door, noticing immediately the broken guitar on the floor and the empty bed. "Mikaya?" she called out, stepping back into the hall. "Mikaya!"
She stumbled into the wall, dialing 911. After explaining in an almost hysterical tone that her three and a half year old daughter was missing, she found herself calling Selena. "I'm still mad at you," Selena said the second the phone connected.
"Selena, I am so sorry. I should have listened to you.. he was bad news.."
"Demi? Calm down.. what happened?"
"He.. he has Mikaya.. he took her.. he has my baby," she cried. "I called the police, but, Lena.. he has my baby."
"I'll be there in ten minutes," she said, disconnecting.
Demi numbly went into her daughters room and sat on the floor, pulling the broken guitar into her arms, holding it tightly. She could hear the door being broken, minutes later two cops were in the doorway. A second later, she heard Selena fighting past more cops. She stopped in the door to the bedroom, her gaze settling on Demi. The nineteen year old was holding the remains of the guitar, rocking back and forth, mumbling something.
"Demi.."
Selena dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around Demi. "Lena.. he has her.."
"It's gonna be okay, Dem, I promise.. we're gonna find her.. we're gonna find our little girl.."
In two weeks, Demi had become so broken that Selena was now working with the police to find the little girl. She put on a brave face whenever she was with Demi, and that happened to be almost every second of each day. Demi ran herself until she couldn't think straight, she stayed up until pure exhaustion knocked her out, and even then she only slept for an hour or two at a time, and it was never a peaceful sleep. Selena had to force her to eat, and she held Demi every single time she needed to be held.
Selena knew that Demi was blaming herself, and that killed her.
Demi had just fallen asleep when there was a knock on the door. Easing herself off of the bed, she made her way to the door, opening it to reveal a police officer. "Can I help you?" she asked, exhaustion filling her voice.
"I need to take yourself and Miss Lovato to the hospital.. we have Mikaya," he said, a small smile on his face.
"Is she alright?!"
"It's just procedure to have her checked out. She seems unharmed, just missing her mom," he said.
"Hold on," she said, turning and running to the bedroom. "Demi! Wake up!" she said, placing a kiss on Demi's forehead. "Demi, come on! We have to go! They found her!"
Demi's mind was a blur as she quickly threw her shoes on, grabbing her bag and snatching her phone from the nightstand as she followed Selena out to the car.
Twenty minutes later, Demi had her daughter in her arms, holding her tightly. Mikaya had one arm wrapped tightly around her mothers neck while her free hand reached out to hold tightly to Selena's hand. "I was so scared," Demi whispered, kissing the top of Mikaya's head.
"Mama, he broke my guitar. I wanted to bring it with me.. to practice.. and he broke it.." she whispered, looking at her mom. Demi kissed her daughters forehead. "Mama, I am fine. Let me go," she whined. "What's the big deal?! It was just a guitar!"
Demi laughed, pulling her daughter close again. "Baby, we can get you another guitar.. I can't get another you.." she whispered, looking up at Selena. "We couldn't get another you."