H50 Fic - Secrets We Keep 2/2
SECRETS WE KEEP - PART TWO!
Click here for Part One!
“Grace, stay in your bed, press the button to call the nurse honey,” Danny asked, rushing to Steve’s side and holding him close. “Babe? Come on, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” Danny begged.
Steve could hear someone asking him questions from above him but couldn’t make out the words or make himself respond in anyway. He didn’t notice when the hospital personnel rushed in and swarmed around him, could barely focus on anything around him. His vision was blacking out, he had no idea what was going on or what was happening to him. Steve groaned again, wanting someone to just take the pain away.
“Nurses! What have we got?” the doctor on hand asked.
“Commander McGarrett just woke up from surgery a few hours ago after having a bad reaction to the anaesthesia, he signed himself out AMA right after waking up,” one of the nurses supplied.
“Okay, let’s get him into his own room, we need to run some tests immediately!” the doctor barked.
“Surgery? What surgery?” Danny asked, his questions falling on deaf ears. His eyes were wide with shock and fear, guilt flooding his system at the idea that he could have hurt Steve worse each time he pushed him today.
Just as quickly as it happened, it was all over. Steve was rushed out of the room and taken away from them once more.
“Danno?” Grace sobbed, her small and scared voice broke through Danny’s inner monologue of fear and guilt.
“Shh Baby, it’s okay, I’m sure Uncle Steve will be just fine, he’s just a little sore is all…” Danny reassured, hoping he wasn’t lying.
“He has to be okay… He’s my Angel! He has to be okay!” Grace continued to sob, hiding her head in her father’s neck, her tears soaking his shirt’s collar.
“Oh Grace…”
“He has to! He saved me! He’s my Angel!” she continued, over and over again.
Something in that sentence confused Danny. Sure, it was normal for Grace to be this distraught over what had just happened, her favourite uncle had just collapsed in front of her. He didn’t expect her to call him her ‘Angel’ but he could live with that, she had a very religious family. But to say that he saved her life? That wasn’t normal, he had abandoned her when she needed him most, he expected her to be upset with him, not saying this.
“Sweetie, what do you mean he saved your life?” Danny asked, his arms wrapped around her small body, not wanting her to move too much since she was still very weak.
“He made me promise not to tell you…” She whispered, her voice muffled in his neck so much so that Danny could barely even hear her.
“It’s okay, you can tell me, I promise he won’t be mad at you,” Danny asked again.
Grace hesitated for several moments, weighing up in her mind if she should or shouldn’t tell her Danno what she knew. “He couldn’t be with me ’cause he had to save my life, that’s why he’s my SuperSEAL, my Angel…” Grace eventually started. “He said he couldn’t be with me for my treatments but that he would do anything for me… I knew right away that he was my Angel, like Mommy said, he was the one that was letting me come home soon, he was the one saving my life by giving me what I needed…” she explained with reason beyond her years.
Danny mulled over Grace’s words in his head, he couldn’t believe that Steve would do that… no wait, he could believe it. It was Steve. Of course he would do whatever he could to save his daughter, if it wasn’t him then he probably would have gone on to find someone who did match. Danny sighed, burying his face into his daughter’s hair, planning out his next move.
“Don’t be mad Danno…” Grace begged, taking her father’s silence for anger.
“No baby, no I’m not mad, I just didn’t know what Steve was up to and I said some not so nice things to him which I don’t know I can take back. I don’t know if your Uncle Steve will forgive me…” He explained looking into his daughter’s eyes.
“He will Danno,” Grace smiled.
“Oh yeah?”
“Of course, he loves you! You just have to say you're sorry for what you said and he will forgive you for it!” She said, so sure of herself.
“You’re too smart, you know that? Now, come on, it’s really late and you need your rest before tomorrow, it’s going to be a very big and busy day and you need to sleep,” Danny said, getting off the bed and tucking Grace back in.
“But I don’t want to go to sleep, I want to know if Uncle Steve is okay!” she pouted.
“I know Monkey, I know you're worried about him, so am I, but you're still unwell too, even if you don’t feel that way right now. Get some sleep, as soon as I have any news then I’ll tell you okay?” Danny promised.
“Okay Danno,” she pouted, slowly closing her eyes and allowing her exhaustion to take over.
Danny stayed with her for a few more moments, ensuring that his daughter was fast asleep before quickly leaving and finding a nurse or a doctor who could tell him what was going on with Steve. It didn’t take long, his daughter’s doctor bumping into him just outside the room.
“Daniel, I was just coming to speak with you…”
“Doc, what’s going on with Steve? Is he okay?” Danny asked, running a hand through his hair nervously.
“Come, sit here for a minute,” he said, directing Danny to a nearby seat. “Steve is suffering from a combination of things, his stress and fatigue worsening his condition which has caused him to go into shock. We’re treating him right now with fluids and antibiotics for an infection that has occurred as a result of a recent operation…”
“My daughter… she said that Steve was the one that is donating his bone marrow to her, is that true?” Danny asked, not sure what he was hearing.
“Yes, Commander McGarrett got himself tested in private to see if he could donate his marrow to your daughter and proved to be a match. We collected the necessary marrow yesterday but unfortunately it seems that he reacted badly to the anaesthesia and now, since he didn’t look after himself, the wound sight has become infected…”
“Shit Steve… Why didn’t you just tell me?” Danny sighed, hiding his face into his hands.
“If I may,” the doctor coughed, “Initially the commander was saying that he didn’t want to tell you because he didn’t want to get your hopes up in case he wasn’t a match, which was a very high possibility… then he was worried that something would go wrong with the actual donation and that you would blame him… he requested that everything was done in secrecy for you and your family’s benefit…” he explained, silently patting Danny on the shoulder before leaving him.
“Doc?” Danny called out just before the doctor left. “Can I see him?”
“Sure, he’s two rooms down, room 307.”
Danny nodded his thanks, hesitating a moment before standing. He poked his head into Grace’s room, checking that she was still asleep before asking a nurse to keep an eye on her. With that settled he quickly made his way into Steve’s room. Steve lay motionless on the hard mattress, several machines attached to him, monitoring his condition, the rhythmic beeping the only thing signalling that the man was alive.
Danny sat down beside the bed, quickly grabbing at Steve’s hand and clutching it close, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the roughened skin. Tears pooled in his eyes at the sight of him, Steve was completely selfless, putting his own life in danger for his daughter and there he had been, accusing him of not caring. He was an idiot and he could only hope that Steve would forgive him.
“Babe…” Danny sighed, not knowing where to start. “I'm so sorry for everything I said! I should have known you would never go back on your word if you could have helped it! Heck, you did come back as soon as you could, probably too soon, and look at where that got you! You're such an idiot, a fool, you never think your plans through and you put yourself in more danger than anyone else I know… but you're my idiot, my fool and I… I need you to get better so I can tell you how much I love you, how much I need you to be okay because Grace is getting her transplant tomorrow and I need you there with me. I need you,” he begged, desperate for Steve to open his eyes.
Steve simply remained motionless throughout the entire speech, nothing changed, no miracle awakening or magical ending. Danny stayed beside Steve’s side, half his mind on his daughter and the other on his lover, he was split and didn’t know what to do. Realistically he knew he should go back and be with his little girl, she needed him more, but he wanted to stay with Steve and fix what he knew he had broken.
“Please Steve, just open your eyes so I can apologise to you,” Danny begged again. “I… I can’t stay here babe, Grace… she needs me… I have to go be with her, but know that I'm thinking about you and I love you,” he said after a while, needing to return to his daughter’s side.
He spoke with one of the nurses after leaving Steve’s room, making her promise to keep him updated on Steve’s condition before returning to his daughter’s room. He looked over his slumbering daughter as he settled in for a long night. Danny tried to sleep, he was exhausted, but every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Steve collapsing to the ground after he pushed him. He took turns, going from one room to the other, throughout the entire night, spending over an hour with Grace then checking in on Steve for a while.
It was a long night, and by the time Rachel and Stan returned to the hospital at seven in the morning, Danny was beyond exhausted.
“Daniel, you look like hell! Is Grace alright? Has she kept you up all night? Was she sick?” Rachel asked rapidly, looking at her daughter who seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
“No,” Danny sighed, quickly explaining to Rachel what had happened last night and what Steve had done for them.
Rachel and Stan listened as Danny told them everything, Rachel’s eyes widening and her hand coming up to cover her open mouth when Danny told them that Steve was the donor and now he was fighting off an infection and shock because of the surgery he had.
“Oh… Danny…” Rachel muttered, knowing exactly what Danny was feeling, the guilt and the misplaced anger. She knew he would be beating himself up over how he had treated Steve, now she had to make sure he would make it better.
“I screwed up Rachel,” Danny near sobbed, Rachel opening her arms and embracing the crestfallen man.
“You may have, but now it’s up to you to fix it,” she comforted, “everything will work out, with both Steven and Gracie, I just know it,” she reassured, closing her eyes and praying that God wouldn’t make a liar out of her.
“I’m just going to go back and see him now,” Danny nodded, “I’ll come back in a bit, or call me when Grace wakes up… When’s she due for her surgery? We still have a few hours right?” Danny asked even though he already knew the answer to his question.
“Go, I’ll call you the instant she wakes. And yes, you still have time, make sure he wakes up so he can see Grace before she has to go…” she answered knowingly.
Danny gave a sheepish smile, rushing off to visit Steve once more. Hours later, Rachel went to Steve’s room to check on the two men, Danny strangely not having returned to Grace’s room like he had promised. She smiled at the sight before her, Danny slumped over Steve’s bed, desperately clutching at the unconscious man’s hands fast asleep. It was obvious that exhaustion had won out over her ex, and she hesitated in waking him, but Grace was due to commence her transplant and she knew Danny wouldn’t forgive her if she didn’t wake him.
“Daniel, Danny? They’re about to get started with Grace…” She whispered, gently shaking his shoulder.
Danny startled awake, his mind taking several moments to catch up with him. He looked down at Steve and quickly pressed his lips to Steve’s dry ones. “I’ll be right back babe, feel free to wake up anytime though, okay?” Danny said before turning and leaving the room.
Rachel hung back for a bit, a critical eye scanning Steve up and down. “I don’t know if you realise just how much you’ve changed him Commander. Changed him for the better. He really does need you, so please, just wake up,” she said before turning heal and following her ex-husband back to their daughter’s room.
Throughout the transplant which was occurring in Grace’s room intravenously, Danny, Rachel and Stan kept a constant vigil. They chatted with Grace when she was feeling up to it and simply watched her in silence when she slept. Not even a few hours later and the entire transplant was done, Grace was sleeping soundly as everyone else watched over her. The doctors seemed pleased with the results, even though it was too soon to tell anything for certain, the fact that she hadn’t reacted badly in any way to the procedure was comforting.
As soon as he could, Danny was back in Steve’s room. “Babe, you missed it, Grace just got her transplant thanks to you. Now we’ve just got to wait… I know I’ve said it a ton of times already, but I'm so sorry for everything I said, I should have known… it’s you and Grace we’re talking about, of course you wouldn’t break your word on that…”
The next time Danny came back to see Grace, Rachel offered to alternate shifts with him, telling him that she would sit with the commander for a while. Danny was quick to agree, thankful that his ex-wife was willing to keep an eye on his partner for him. Rachel entered his room, sitting down by his bedside, not touching, just sitting there thinking about everything she and her unusual family had been through the last few weeks.
“Commander… Steve, I realise we may not be on the best of terms, but I’d like to think that we are at least amicable… With everything you do for Daniel and Grace, how could we not be? I just need you to know Steve, you honestly are the best think that has happened to Danny since Grace was born so I need you to get better to be there for him. He needs you and I know Grace needs you too, so please, just wake up so we can thank you for everything you have done for my family…” She spoke softly, dabbing at her eyes subtly, as if Steve could see her.
The rest of the day continued in the same manner, with Rachel and Danny switching shifts between watching over Grace who was recovering and Steve whose condition hadn’t changed. Danny had finally contacted Chin and Kono to let them know what was happening between Grace and Steve, the cousins promising to be in as soon as they could.
It was late that night, during Rachel’s shift, that Steve finally started showing signs of waking. Rachel rushed back to Danny, excited to tell him the good news. “Daniel, go be with Steven, he’s waking up!” she exclaimed.
A quick smile lit Danny’s face, excited about the idea that Steve was waking up, but it was quickly replaced by clouded eyes and a frown. “No, I think I’ll just stay here, Grace needs me…” Danny mumbled, thumb rubbing at the smooth skin of Grace’s hand.
“Dan-” Rachel started.
“Not now Rach, please… not now,” Danny sighed, shaking his head, needing her to stop trying.
The light was far too intense and it confused him for a minute. He slowly blinked his eyes open, taking a few moments to figure out what had happened. Everything came back to him slowly; the shouting, the intense pain and then nothing. Steve looked around the room, remotely aware of the slight twinge at his side, expecting (and hoping) to see someone waiting by his side. Ultimately though, it didn’t entirely surprise him that he was completely alone.
Everyone always left him. He just wasn’t good enough, worth enough to stick around for. He had been told that by numerous people, many times before. He should have known that Danny wouldn’t stick around either, the one person he had let his guard down the most to, the man he loved wasn’t here and it was his own fault.
Steve closed his eyes, simply allowing the cool tears to run down his face. He had ruined everything, he now had no one, but worst of all, he was sure he had lost Grace. It was the one purely innocent thing left in his life, untouched by the darkness in the world, but now he doesn’t even know how her transplant went. Was she okay, did it work? Or was it all for nothing?
Rachel stayed silent for a few minutes, watching over Danny and the way he sat protectively over by their daughter’s side. She knew he was hurting, the pain was written all over his face, it was obvious in his eyes and yet he was being so stubborn.
“Daniel, you have to leave now,” Rachel finally spoke up, voice unwavering as Danny looked up shocked and fearful. “You have to go be with Steve, Danny… Grace is okay right now, Steve is the one that needs you right now. He needs to know that you still care for him and forgive him… that you still love him!” she all but ordered.
“But… I don’t know if I can…” he admitted.
“Don’t be stupid. I know you already have, I overheard you speaking to him before, now go, I won’t allow you back here until you’ve cleared everything up,” she defended, staring her ex-husband down until he nodded.
“Fine,” he said, standing and pressing a quick kiss to Grace’s head before leaving the room.
Danny took his time walking down the short hallway until he stood just outside the doorway. He took a deep breath, hoping that Steve hadn’t woken up yet, before entering the room. He cursed silently, seeing Steve’s closed eyes and tear streaked cheeks.
“Steve? Babe, I’m right here, are you okay?” Danny asked, rushing to Steve’s side, a hand coming up and cupping Steve’s face, his thumb gently stroking away the tears.
“Why are you even here?” Steve mumbled, turning his head away from Danny.
“Look at me Steve, just… I was so stupid… I should have known there was a perfectly good reason why you weren’t with us. Grace and the doctor told us what you did… and I have nothing to say. After the way I treated you, for all that you did for Grace and me? What else can I say but thank you and I’m so sorry…” Danny begged.
Steve slowly turned to look back at Danny, opening his eyes and searching Danny’s. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for her, or for you… especially for you. I know how hard this all has been on you…”
“That’s no excuse for how I acted…”
“I love you so much Danno, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, or for Grace and Rachel even. They’re you’re family…”
“I know… I’ve been so scared, I couldn’t think past the possibility of losing Grace and I took all of my fears and frustrations out on you… and you definitely didn’t deserve that… I just hope that you can forgive me… I know Grace wants to see you…”
“There’s nothing to forgive Danny… Grace… is she… she’s okay?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, she’s doing much better. And that’s all thanks to you. She got her transplant done, she’s just resting now… it will still be a few weeks, but the doctor says that everything is looking positive…” Danny beamed, his smile breaking through the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Will you just… come here…?” Steve sighed, tired of the conflict between them.
Danny bent down low, pressing his lips to Steve’s chapped ones. His hand moved up, fingers burying themselves into his hair, blunt fingernails scratching slightly at his scalp in a desperate attempt to draw him closer.
“I didn’t think you would be here…” Steve admitted, when they finally broke apart.
“I’ll always be here for you, I love you,” Danny quickly responded, not lingering over the fact that he was all but forced to visit him just now.
“I love you too, so much. I… I have to admit, I was so scared when I woke up and you weren’t here…” Steve started, Danny listening quietly, knowing how hard it would be for Steve to admit his true feelings, “I thought I wasn’t good enough, that I had stuffed up again and… everyone leaves me… I guess I thought you would do the same…”
“Babe… no, you and I… we’re in it for the long haul, you hear me? You’ll never have to worry about being alone again because you’ll always have Grace and me, I promise you,” Danny stated with conviction in his voice.
“I’m holding you to that,” Steve smiled, fingers twining with Danny’s as he pulled him down close once more for another kiss.
The doctor came in not long after, checking over his patient and informing the men that he was doing much better. The pain was more manageable and the harvest sight near the hip wasn’t as red or inflamed suggesting that the infection was disappearing.
“How soon can I see Grace, Doc?” Steve asked.
“She’s doing very well. I dare say that one more night here and if you're still feeling this well tomorrow then we can sign you out and then you can see her tomorrow.”
“Can’t I see her sooner?” Steve all but begged, desperate to see her.
“I don’t think…”
“Can’t you get him on a wheelchair or something? I’ll make sure he doesn’t overdo it…” Danny interrupted.
“I don’t know…”
“Please?” Steve pleaded.
“Let me see what I can do,” he acquiesced before leaving the room.
Danny and Steve continued to speak in hushed tones until a nurse interrupted them, knocking on the door before pushing a wheelchair in. “I’ve been told you’re allowed to visit Grace for a while, but at the first sign of increased pain you have to return to your room, is that clear?” she said.
Steve nodded immediately throwing off his blanket while Danny and the nurse moved and settled him onto the chair. “Thank you so much,” he said as she left Danny to push Steve to Grace’s room.
“Uncle Steve!” the small voice cheered, greeting Steve and Danny as they walked in.
“Gracie!” Steve returned, waiting until Danny got him close enough so he could awkwardly wrap his arms around the small girl.
“Monkey! When did you wake up?” Danny asked, also enveloping his daughter in a careful hug, shooting Rachel a quick glance.
“She just woke up, I was about to get you,” Rachel said.
Danny just nodded, not having the energy to start up something like he normally would. The next hour and a bit was spent talking about whatever Grace wanted, Steve and Grace continuously holding hands. Danny kept a close eye on the two most important people in his life, watching as Steve slowly exhausted himself.
“Steve? Come on babe, let’s get you back to your room. You need you're rest, we’ll come back in the morning,” Danny finally said seeing Steve’s eyes droop again.
“I don’t want to…” Steve pouted, his face mirroring Grace’s.
Danny hid his smile, knowing Steve was acting this way for Grace’s benefit. “Sorry babe, you heard what the doctor said earlier, you need your rest just as much as this monkey does, so come on! Say goodbye,” Danny ordered.
“I’ll see you in the morning Gracie,” Steve promised, kissing the tip of Grace’s nose.
“Sleep well Angel,” Grace said, placing her own kiss on his cheek.
Steve quickly looked away, hiding his eyes which were quickly filling with tears. Danny wheeled Steve out of the room without comment, pressing a kiss to Steve’s hair before helping him back into bed.
“You alright Steve?” Danny asked once Steve was tucked into his bed.
“Y-yeah… I will be, I still just can’t get over her calling me her Angel…” Steve commented, trying to supress a yawn.
“Well when Rachel told her that an Angel had donated their bone marrow to save her life and then she found out you were her donor… what did you expect? You don’t mind, right?” Danny asked.
“Of course not Danno! I kinda love it actually,” he admitted.
“Good, I’m glad. Now come on, rest. We still have a long way to go until both of you are feeling better,” Danny said, kissing his partner once more before Steve finally drifted off to sleep.
Six Months Later
Danny’s eyes sprung open. He felt disoriented, like something wasn’t right. He turned over and felt the cool sheets of what was normally Steve’s side of the bed. He gripped at the sheets in the vacant space, closing his eyes tight and wishing that Steve was still there with him. He took a few moments to get himself together before getting up and heading downstairs, running his fingers through his hair trying to tame the bedhead.
He could hear Grace laughing on the beach outside and headed out that way, stopping by the open French doors to watch his little girl. The transplant and the illness seemed like a lifetime ago now, there had been no complications with the transplant and now Grace was recovering faster than even the doctor anticipated. Now here he was, watching his little girl playing freely in the private beach, as if nothing had ever happened.
“What are you staring at?” a voice said from behind Danny, startling him.
“Nothing, just thinking is all,” Danny smiled, not bothering to turn around, just twisting his hand into Steve's shirt and pulling him in close.
Steve plastered himself to Danny’s back, wrapping his arm around his partner and littering his neck with opened mouthed kisses. “Come on, we’re building sandcastles then going surfing later, join us?” Steve asked, nudging Danny forward.
“Coffee first…” he groused, chuckling slightly as Steve’s other arm came around holding out a coffee mug.
“I heard you waking up, come now, Gracie is waiting!” he said, nipping at Danny’s earlobe before running towards the sand, scooping Grace up and twirling her in the air.
Danny revelled in Grace’s shrieks of happiness and Steve’s exuberant laughter for a moment, wanting to remember this forever. Enjoying being able to witness the bond Steve and Grace obviously shared, their relationship having grown immensely after both were released from hospital. Steve and Danny had talked more about everything their first night back at home, but after that it was never mentioned again. Then when Grace was brought home, she asked to stay with her Angel and Steve had been delighted, reading to her and holding her close as she fell asleep.
“Danno! Come on!” Grace yelled, “Save me!” she laughed as Steve started tickling her.
“Coming!” Danny said, putting his mug down and running towards his ohana.
-End.
Comments are love! :)
Click here for Part One!
“Grace, stay in your bed, press the button to call the nurse honey,” Danny asked, rushing to Steve’s side and holding him close. “Babe? Come on, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” Danny begged.
Steve could hear someone asking him questions from above him but couldn’t make out the words or make himself respond in anyway. He didn’t notice when the hospital personnel rushed in and swarmed around him, could barely focus on anything around him. His vision was blacking out, he had no idea what was going on or what was happening to him. Steve groaned again, wanting someone to just take the pain away.
“Nurses! What have we got?” the doctor on hand asked.
“Commander McGarrett just woke up from surgery a few hours ago after having a bad reaction to the anaesthesia, he signed himself out AMA right after waking up,” one of the nurses supplied.
“Okay, let’s get him into his own room, we need to run some tests immediately!” the doctor barked.
“Surgery? What surgery?” Danny asked, his questions falling on deaf ears. His eyes were wide with shock and fear, guilt flooding his system at the idea that he could have hurt Steve worse each time he pushed him today.
Just as quickly as it happened, it was all over. Steve was rushed out of the room and taken away from them once more.
“Danno?” Grace sobbed, her small and scared voice broke through Danny’s inner monologue of fear and guilt.
“Shh Baby, it’s okay, I’m sure Uncle Steve will be just fine, he’s just a little sore is all…” Danny reassured, hoping he wasn’t lying.
“He has to be okay… He’s my Angel! He has to be okay!” Grace continued to sob, hiding her head in her father’s neck, her tears soaking his shirt’s collar.
“Oh Grace…”
“He has to! He saved me! He’s my Angel!” she continued, over and over again.
Something in that sentence confused Danny. Sure, it was normal for Grace to be this distraught over what had just happened, her favourite uncle had just collapsed in front of her. He didn’t expect her to call him her ‘Angel’ but he could live with that, she had a very religious family. But to say that he saved her life? That wasn’t normal, he had abandoned her when she needed him most, he expected her to be upset with him, not saying this.
“Sweetie, what do you mean he saved your life?” Danny asked, his arms wrapped around her small body, not wanting her to move too much since she was still very weak.
“He made me promise not to tell you…” She whispered, her voice muffled in his neck so much so that Danny could barely even hear her.
“It’s okay, you can tell me, I promise he won’t be mad at you,” Danny asked again.
Grace hesitated for several moments, weighing up in her mind if she should or shouldn’t tell her Danno what she knew. “He couldn’t be with me ’cause he had to save my life, that’s why he’s my SuperSEAL, my Angel…” Grace eventually started. “He said he couldn’t be with me for my treatments but that he would do anything for me… I knew right away that he was my Angel, like Mommy said, he was the one that was letting me come home soon, he was the one saving my life by giving me what I needed…” she explained with reason beyond her years.
Danny mulled over Grace’s words in his head, he couldn’t believe that Steve would do that… no wait, he could believe it. It was Steve. Of course he would do whatever he could to save his daughter, if it wasn’t him then he probably would have gone on to find someone who did match. Danny sighed, burying his face into his daughter’s hair, planning out his next move.
“Don’t be mad Danno…” Grace begged, taking her father’s silence for anger.
“No baby, no I’m not mad, I just didn’t know what Steve was up to and I said some not so nice things to him which I don’t know I can take back. I don’t know if your Uncle Steve will forgive me…” He explained looking into his daughter’s eyes.
“He will Danno,” Grace smiled.
“Oh yeah?”
“Of course, he loves you! You just have to say you're sorry for what you said and he will forgive you for it!” She said, so sure of herself.
“You’re too smart, you know that? Now, come on, it’s really late and you need your rest before tomorrow, it’s going to be a very big and busy day and you need to sleep,” Danny said, getting off the bed and tucking Grace back in.
“But I don’t want to go to sleep, I want to know if Uncle Steve is okay!” she pouted.
“I know Monkey, I know you're worried about him, so am I, but you're still unwell too, even if you don’t feel that way right now. Get some sleep, as soon as I have any news then I’ll tell you okay?” Danny promised.
“Okay Danno,” she pouted, slowly closing her eyes and allowing her exhaustion to take over.
Danny stayed with her for a few more moments, ensuring that his daughter was fast asleep before quickly leaving and finding a nurse or a doctor who could tell him what was going on with Steve. It didn’t take long, his daughter’s doctor bumping into him just outside the room.
“Daniel, I was just coming to speak with you…”
“Doc, what’s going on with Steve? Is he okay?” Danny asked, running a hand through his hair nervously.
“Come, sit here for a minute,” he said, directing Danny to a nearby seat. “Steve is suffering from a combination of things, his stress and fatigue worsening his condition which has caused him to go into shock. We’re treating him right now with fluids and antibiotics for an infection that has occurred as a result of a recent operation…”
“My daughter… she said that Steve was the one that is donating his bone marrow to her, is that true?” Danny asked, not sure what he was hearing.
“Yes, Commander McGarrett got himself tested in private to see if he could donate his marrow to your daughter and proved to be a match. We collected the necessary marrow yesterday but unfortunately it seems that he reacted badly to the anaesthesia and now, since he didn’t look after himself, the wound sight has become infected…”
“Shit Steve… Why didn’t you just tell me?” Danny sighed, hiding his face into his hands.
“If I may,” the doctor coughed, “Initially the commander was saying that he didn’t want to tell you because he didn’t want to get your hopes up in case he wasn’t a match, which was a very high possibility… then he was worried that something would go wrong with the actual donation and that you would blame him… he requested that everything was done in secrecy for you and your family’s benefit…” he explained, silently patting Danny on the shoulder before leaving him.
“Doc?” Danny called out just before the doctor left. “Can I see him?”
“Sure, he’s two rooms down, room 307.”
Danny nodded his thanks, hesitating a moment before standing. He poked his head into Grace’s room, checking that she was still asleep before asking a nurse to keep an eye on her. With that settled he quickly made his way into Steve’s room. Steve lay motionless on the hard mattress, several machines attached to him, monitoring his condition, the rhythmic beeping the only thing signalling that the man was alive.
Danny sat down beside the bed, quickly grabbing at Steve’s hand and clutching it close, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the roughened skin. Tears pooled in his eyes at the sight of him, Steve was completely selfless, putting his own life in danger for his daughter and there he had been, accusing him of not caring. He was an idiot and he could only hope that Steve would forgive him.
“Babe…” Danny sighed, not knowing where to start. “I'm so sorry for everything I said! I should have known you would never go back on your word if you could have helped it! Heck, you did come back as soon as you could, probably too soon, and look at where that got you! You're such an idiot, a fool, you never think your plans through and you put yourself in more danger than anyone else I know… but you're my idiot, my fool and I… I need you to get better so I can tell you how much I love you, how much I need you to be okay because Grace is getting her transplant tomorrow and I need you there with me. I need you,” he begged, desperate for Steve to open his eyes.
Steve simply remained motionless throughout the entire speech, nothing changed, no miracle awakening or magical ending. Danny stayed beside Steve’s side, half his mind on his daughter and the other on his lover, he was split and didn’t know what to do. Realistically he knew he should go back and be with his little girl, she needed him more, but he wanted to stay with Steve and fix what he knew he had broken.
“Please Steve, just open your eyes so I can apologise to you,” Danny begged again. “I… I can’t stay here babe, Grace… she needs me… I have to go be with her, but know that I'm thinking about you and I love you,” he said after a while, needing to return to his daughter’s side.
He spoke with one of the nurses after leaving Steve’s room, making her promise to keep him updated on Steve’s condition before returning to his daughter’s room. He looked over his slumbering daughter as he settled in for a long night. Danny tried to sleep, he was exhausted, but every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Steve collapsing to the ground after he pushed him. He took turns, going from one room to the other, throughout the entire night, spending over an hour with Grace then checking in on Steve for a while.
It was a long night, and by the time Rachel and Stan returned to the hospital at seven in the morning, Danny was beyond exhausted.
“Daniel, you look like hell! Is Grace alright? Has she kept you up all night? Was she sick?” Rachel asked rapidly, looking at her daughter who seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
“No,” Danny sighed, quickly explaining to Rachel what had happened last night and what Steve had done for them.
Rachel and Stan listened as Danny told them everything, Rachel’s eyes widening and her hand coming up to cover her open mouth when Danny told them that Steve was the donor and now he was fighting off an infection and shock because of the surgery he had.
“Oh… Danny…” Rachel muttered, knowing exactly what Danny was feeling, the guilt and the misplaced anger. She knew he would be beating himself up over how he had treated Steve, now she had to make sure he would make it better.
“I screwed up Rachel,” Danny near sobbed, Rachel opening her arms and embracing the crestfallen man.
“You may have, but now it’s up to you to fix it,” she comforted, “everything will work out, with both Steven and Gracie, I just know it,” she reassured, closing her eyes and praying that God wouldn’t make a liar out of her.
“I’m just going to go back and see him now,” Danny nodded, “I’ll come back in a bit, or call me when Grace wakes up… When’s she due for her surgery? We still have a few hours right?” Danny asked even though he already knew the answer to his question.
“Go, I’ll call you the instant she wakes. And yes, you still have time, make sure he wakes up so he can see Grace before she has to go…” she answered knowingly.
Danny gave a sheepish smile, rushing off to visit Steve once more. Hours later, Rachel went to Steve’s room to check on the two men, Danny strangely not having returned to Grace’s room like he had promised. She smiled at the sight before her, Danny slumped over Steve’s bed, desperately clutching at the unconscious man’s hands fast asleep. It was obvious that exhaustion had won out over her ex, and she hesitated in waking him, but Grace was due to commence her transplant and she knew Danny wouldn’t forgive her if she didn’t wake him.
“Daniel, Danny? They’re about to get started with Grace…” She whispered, gently shaking his shoulder.
Danny startled awake, his mind taking several moments to catch up with him. He looked down at Steve and quickly pressed his lips to Steve’s dry ones. “I’ll be right back babe, feel free to wake up anytime though, okay?” Danny said before turning and leaving the room.
Rachel hung back for a bit, a critical eye scanning Steve up and down. “I don’t know if you realise just how much you’ve changed him Commander. Changed him for the better. He really does need you, so please, just wake up,” she said before turning heal and following her ex-husband back to their daughter’s room.
Throughout the transplant which was occurring in Grace’s room intravenously, Danny, Rachel and Stan kept a constant vigil. They chatted with Grace when she was feeling up to it and simply watched her in silence when she slept. Not even a few hours later and the entire transplant was done, Grace was sleeping soundly as everyone else watched over her. The doctors seemed pleased with the results, even though it was too soon to tell anything for certain, the fact that she hadn’t reacted badly in any way to the procedure was comforting.
As soon as he could, Danny was back in Steve’s room. “Babe, you missed it, Grace just got her transplant thanks to you. Now we’ve just got to wait… I know I’ve said it a ton of times already, but I'm so sorry for everything I said, I should have known… it’s you and Grace we’re talking about, of course you wouldn’t break your word on that…”
The next time Danny came back to see Grace, Rachel offered to alternate shifts with him, telling him that she would sit with the commander for a while. Danny was quick to agree, thankful that his ex-wife was willing to keep an eye on his partner for him. Rachel entered his room, sitting down by his bedside, not touching, just sitting there thinking about everything she and her unusual family had been through the last few weeks.
“Commander… Steve, I realise we may not be on the best of terms, but I’d like to think that we are at least amicable… With everything you do for Daniel and Grace, how could we not be? I just need you to know Steve, you honestly are the best think that has happened to Danny since Grace was born so I need you to get better to be there for him. He needs you and I know Grace needs you too, so please, just wake up so we can thank you for everything you have done for my family…” She spoke softly, dabbing at her eyes subtly, as if Steve could see her.
The rest of the day continued in the same manner, with Rachel and Danny switching shifts between watching over Grace who was recovering and Steve whose condition hadn’t changed. Danny had finally contacted Chin and Kono to let them know what was happening between Grace and Steve, the cousins promising to be in as soon as they could.
It was late that night, during Rachel’s shift, that Steve finally started showing signs of waking. Rachel rushed back to Danny, excited to tell him the good news. “Daniel, go be with Steven, he’s waking up!” she exclaimed.
A quick smile lit Danny’s face, excited about the idea that Steve was waking up, but it was quickly replaced by clouded eyes and a frown. “No, I think I’ll just stay here, Grace needs me…” Danny mumbled, thumb rubbing at the smooth skin of Grace’s hand.
“Dan-” Rachel started.
“Not now Rach, please… not now,” Danny sighed, shaking his head, needing her to stop trying.
The light was far too intense and it confused him for a minute. He slowly blinked his eyes open, taking a few moments to figure out what had happened. Everything came back to him slowly; the shouting, the intense pain and then nothing. Steve looked around the room, remotely aware of the slight twinge at his side, expecting (and hoping) to see someone waiting by his side. Ultimately though, it didn’t entirely surprise him that he was completely alone.
Everyone always left him. He just wasn’t good enough, worth enough to stick around for. He had been told that by numerous people, many times before. He should have known that Danny wouldn’t stick around either, the one person he had let his guard down the most to, the man he loved wasn’t here and it was his own fault.
Steve closed his eyes, simply allowing the cool tears to run down his face. He had ruined everything, he now had no one, but worst of all, he was sure he had lost Grace. It was the one purely innocent thing left in his life, untouched by the darkness in the world, but now he doesn’t even know how her transplant went. Was she okay, did it work? Or was it all for nothing?
Rachel stayed silent for a few minutes, watching over Danny and the way he sat protectively over by their daughter’s side. She knew he was hurting, the pain was written all over his face, it was obvious in his eyes and yet he was being so stubborn.
“Daniel, you have to leave now,” Rachel finally spoke up, voice unwavering as Danny looked up shocked and fearful. “You have to go be with Steve, Danny… Grace is okay right now, Steve is the one that needs you right now. He needs to know that you still care for him and forgive him… that you still love him!” she all but ordered.
“But… I don’t know if I can…” he admitted.
“Don’t be stupid. I know you already have, I overheard you speaking to him before, now go, I won’t allow you back here until you’ve cleared everything up,” she defended, staring her ex-husband down until he nodded.
“Fine,” he said, standing and pressing a quick kiss to Grace’s head before leaving the room.
Danny took his time walking down the short hallway until he stood just outside the doorway. He took a deep breath, hoping that Steve hadn’t woken up yet, before entering the room. He cursed silently, seeing Steve’s closed eyes and tear streaked cheeks.
“Steve? Babe, I’m right here, are you okay?” Danny asked, rushing to Steve’s side, a hand coming up and cupping Steve’s face, his thumb gently stroking away the tears.
“Why are you even here?” Steve mumbled, turning his head away from Danny.
“Look at me Steve, just… I was so stupid… I should have known there was a perfectly good reason why you weren’t with us. Grace and the doctor told us what you did… and I have nothing to say. After the way I treated you, for all that you did for Grace and me? What else can I say but thank you and I’m so sorry…” Danny begged.
Steve slowly turned to look back at Danny, opening his eyes and searching Danny’s. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for her, or for you… especially for you. I know how hard this all has been on you…”
“That’s no excuse for how I acted…”
“I love you so much Danno, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, or for Grace and Rachel even. They’re you’re family…”
“I know… I’ve been so scared, I couldn’t think past the possibility of losing Grace and I took all of my fears and frustrations out on you… and you definitely didn’t deserve that… I just hope that you can forgive me… I know Grace wants to see you…”
“There’s nothing to forgive Danny… Grace… is she… she’s okay?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, she’s doing much better. And that’s all thanks to you. She got her transplant done, she’s just resting now… it will still be a few weeks, but the doctor says that everything is looking positive…” Danny beamed, his smile breaking through the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Will you just… come here…?” Steve sighed, tired of the conflict between them.
Danny bent down low, pressing his lips to Steve’s chapped ones. His hand moved up, fingers burying themselves into his hair, blunt fingernails scratching slightly at his scalp in a desperate attempt to draw him closer.
“I didn’t think you would be here…” Steve admitted, when they finally broke apart.
“I’ll always be here for you, I love you,” Danny quickly responded, not lingering over the fact that he was all but forced to visit him just now.
“I love you too, so much. I… I have to admit, I was so scared when I woke up and you weren’t here…” Steve started, Danny listening quietly, knowing how hard it would be for Steve to admit his true feelings, “I thought I wasn’t good enough, that I had stuffed up again and… everyone leaves me… I guess I thought you would do the same…”
“Babe… no, you and I… we’re in it for the long haul, you hear me? You’ll never have to worry about being alone again because you’ll always have Grace and me, I promise you,” Danny stated with conviction in his voice.
“I’m holding you to that,” Steve smiled, fingers twining with Danny’s as he pulled him down close once more for another kiss.
The doctor came in not long after, checking over his patient and informing the men that he was doing much better. The pain was more manageable and the harvest sight near the hip wasn’t as red or inflamed suggesting that the infection was disappearing.
“How soon can I see Grace, Doc?” Steve asked.
“She’s doing very well. I dare say that one more night here and if you're still feeling this well tomorrow then we can sign you out and then you can see her tomorrow.”
“Can’t I see her sooner?” Steve all but begged, desperate to see her.
“I don’t think…”
“Can’t you get him on a wheelchair or something? I’ll make sure he doesn’t overdo it…” Danny interrupted.
“I don’t know…”
“Please?” Steve pleaded.
“Let me see what I can do,” he acquiesced before leaving the room.
Danny and Steve continued to speak in hushed tones until a nurse interrupted them, knocking on the door before pushing a wheelchair in. “I’ve been told you’re allowed to visit Grace for a while, but at the first sign of increased pain you have to return to your room, is that clear?” she said.
Steve nodded immediately throwing off his blanket while Danny and the nurse moved and settled him onto the chair. “Thank you so much,” he said as she left Danny to push Steve to Grace’s room.
“Uncle Steve!” the small voice cheered, greeting Steve and Danny as they walked in.
“Gracie!” Steve returned, waiting until Danny got him close enough so he could awkwardly wrap his arms around the small girl.
“Monkey! When did you wake up?” Danny asked, also enveloping his daughter in a careful hug, shooting Rachel a quick glance.
“She just woke up, I was about to get you,” Rachel said.
Danny just nodded, not having the energy to start up something like he normally would. The next hour and a bit was spent talking about whatever Grace wanted, Steve and Grace continuously holding hands. Danny kept a close eye on the two most important people in his life, watching as Steve slowly exhausted himself.
“Steve? Come on babe, let’s get you back to your room. You need you're rest, we’ll come back in the morning,” Danny finally said seeing Steve’s eyes droop again.
“I don’t want to…” Steve pouted, his face mirroring Grace’s.
Danny hid his smile, knowing Steve was acting this way for Grace’s benefit. “Sorry babe, you heard what the doctor said earlier, you need your rest just as much as this monkey does, so come on! Say goodbye,” Danny ordered.
“I’ll see you in the morning Gracie,” Steve promised, kissing the tip of Grace’s nose.
“Sleep well Angel,” Grace said, placing her own kiss on his cheek.
Steve quickly looked away, hiding his eyes which were quickly filling with tears. Danny wheeled Steve out of the room without comment, pressing a kiss to Steve’s hair before helping him back into bed.
“You alright Steve?” Danny asked once Steve was tucked into his bed.
“Y-yeah… I will be, I still just can’t get over her calling me her Angel…” Steve commented, trying to supress a yawn.
“Well when Rachel told her that an Angel had donated their bone marrow to save her life and then she found out you were her donor… what did you expect? You don’t mind, right?” Danny asked.
“Of course not Danno! I kinda love it actually,” he admitted.
“Good, I’m glad. Now come on, rest. We still have a long way to go until both of you are feeling better,” Danny said, kissing his partner once more before Steve finally drifted off to sleep.
Six Months Later
Danny’s eyes sprung open. He felt disoriented, like something wasn’t right. He turned over and felt the cool sheets of what was normally Steve’s side of the bed. He gripped at the sheets in the vacant space, closing his eyes tight and wishing that Steve was still there with him. He took a few moments to get himself together before getting up and heading downstairs, running his fingers through his hair trying to tame the bedhead.
He could hear Grace laughing on the beach outside and headed out that way, stopping by the open French doors to watch his little girl. The transplant and the illness seemed like a lifetime ago now, there had been no complications with the transplant and now Grace was recovering faster than even the doctor anticipated. Now here he was, watching his little girl playing freely in the private beach, as if nothing had ever happened.
“What are you staring at?” a voice said from behind Danny, startling him.
“Nothing, just thinking is all,” Danny smiled, not bothering to turn around, just twisting his hand into Steve's shirt and pulling him in close.
Steve plastered himself to Danny’s back, wrapping his arm around his partner and littering his neck with opened mouthed kisses. “Come on, we’re building sandcastles then going surfing later, join us?” Steve asked, nudging Danny forward.
“Coffee first…” he groused, chuckling slightly as Steve’s other arm came around holding out a coffee mug.
“I heard you waking up, come now, Gracie is waiting!” he said, nipping at Danny’s earlobe before running towards the sand, scooping Grace up and twirling her in the air.
Danny revelled in Grace’s shrieks of happiness and Steve’s exuberant laughter for a moment, wanting to remember this forever. Enjoying being able to witness the bond Steve and Grace obviously shared, their relationship having grown immensely after both were released from hospital. Steve and Danny had talked more about everything their first night back at home, but after that it was never mentioned again. Then when Grace was brought home, she asked to stay with her Angel and Steve had been delighted, reading to her and holding her close as she fell asleep.
“Danno! Come on!” Grace yelled, “Save me!” she laughed as Steve started tickling her.
“Coming!” Danny said, putting his mug down and running towards his ohana.
-End.
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