The Fourth Wall (or, The Ember Island Players)
Title: The Fourth Wall (or, The Ember Island Players)
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Zuko, Katara, Toph, Aang, Sokka, Suki (Zutara)
Genre: Romance/Angst
Warnings: None.
Summary:
The Gaang goes to see a play about themselves... and no one likes what they discover. Sparrowkeet!verse.
A/N: Thank God for online transcripts. Large parts of this are lifted in their entirety from AvatarSpirit.net and AvatarWiki; they did all the hard work and deserve all the credit. Forever in debt to those two sites (not just for this, but in general).
By the way, I bled for this formatting. BLED. And did you know it's possible to run out of adjectives for "melodramatic"? Because it is.
This takes place shortly after A Rush of Blood to the Head and not long before Of Edged Weapons and Eavesdropping.
The Fourth Wall
(or, The Ember Island Players)
“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”
-Oscar Wilde
Act I
[Episode opens at the Fire Lord's beach house on Ember Island, which is large, opulent, and derelict. In the open courtyard Zuko and Aang practice firebending. Every now and then tiny flames break out on the Avatar's robes, and Zuko stops to change Aang's arm position or stance, muttering to himself. Finally the exercises stop, and the two bow to each other irritably.
Katara and Toph are relaxing on nearby steps. Katara is pretending not to watch Zuko. Toph is smirking.]
TOPH: Something on your mind, Sugar Queen?
[Katara glares at Toph, remembers Toph can't see, and humphs.]
KATARA: [testily] I was just thinking, doesn't it seem kind of weird that we're hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house?
[Zuko sits at the edge of a fountain, toweling off his hair.]
ZUKO: I told you, my Father hasn’t come here since our family was actually happy. [looking down] And that was a long time ago. It's the last place anyone would think to look for us.
[Sokka and Suki enter. Sokka is grinning excitedly.]
SOKKA: You guys are not going to believe this. There's a play about us!
SUKI: We were just in town and we found this poster!
[Sokka unrolls the poster. It's a brightly-colored picture of "Katara", "Sokka", and "Aang" in battle positions with a background image of "Zuko" overlooking menacingly. In other words, a parody of the Season One DVD box cover.]
KATARA: What? How is that possible?
SOKKA: Listen to this. [flipping the poster towards himself and reading] "The Boy In The Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy south pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prison guards, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage."
SUKI: [leaning in] "Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players."
[Zuko groans. Everyone looks over.]
ZUKO: My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered "Love Amongst the Dragons" every year.
KATARA: [turning back] Sokka, do you really think it's a good idea to attend a play about ourselves?
SOKKA: Come on, a day at the theatre? [beaming] This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense I've been missing!
[Fade to the theater at night. The Gaang walk into a private viewing box on the second floor. All are in Fire Nation disguise, with Zuko wearing a hood to hide his scar and Aang wearing a hat to hide his arrow.
Zuko sits beside Katara just as Aang moves to do the same.]
AANG: [plaintively] Hey, I wanted to--
ZUKO: No.
[The two glare at each other for a moment... then Aang plops down next to Zuko with a huff. Zuko glances to his right and scoots an inch or two closer to Katara.
Suki and Sokka settle into the back row. Sokka throws his arm around Suki. Toph sits on the other side of Katara and scowls.]
TOPH: Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can't see a thing from up here!
KATARA: Don't worry, I'll tell your feet what's happening.
[The lights lower and the play begins. On stage, crude props and backdrops indicate that the scene is set in the South Pole. "Katara" and "Sokka" row along in a canoe; the real Katara and Sokka lean forward eagerly.
Both actors are substantially older than their real-life counterparts. "Katara" is curvy, with heavy makeup and a revealing cut to her robes; "Sokka" is tall and unattractive.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [sighing melodramatically] Sokka, my only brother! We constantly roam these icy South Pole seas, and yet never do we find anything fulfilling!
ACTOR SOKKA: All I want is a full feeling in my stomach! [directly to the audience] I'm starving!
[The audience laughs. In the box, Sokka and Katara look at each other, confused.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Is food the only thing on your mind?
ACTOR SOKKA: Well, I'm trying to get out of my mind, and into my mouth! [gesturing emphatically at his open mouth] I'm starving!
[More laughter.]
SOKKA: [pouting] This is pathetic! My jokes are way funnier than this!
TOPH: [laughing along with the audience] I think he's got you pegged!
[Actress Katara stands up in the canoe.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Every day, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears! [pressing a hand to her heart dramatically] Still, we can not give up hope! For hope is all we have! [begins to cry] And we must never relinquish it, even to our dying breath!
[Actress Katara collapses into tears. In the box, Sokka and Suki snicker.]
KATARA: [peeved] Well, that's just silly. I don't sound like that. [glancing sideways and narrowing her eyes] Right?!
[Zuko scratches his cheek while Aang looks at the ceiling with deliberate nonchalance.]
TOPH: [chuckling] Oh, man, this writer's a genius!
[On stage, a white cutout indicating an iceberg rises over the scene. A shadow puppet inside waggles back and forth.]
ACTRESS KATARA: It appears to be someone frozen in ice! Perhaps for a hundred years!
ACTOR SOKKA: But who is the boy in the iceberg?
[Aang leans forward excitedly. Zuko rolls his eyes.
Actress Katara and Actor Sokka scale the iceberg prop.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [performing a chopping motion] Waterbend, hai-ya!
[Cracks cut through the "iceberg" and smoke rolls out onto the stage. A moment later, "Aang" jumps downstage. "Aang" is an adult woman with a twinkling manner, a la Mary Martin in "Peter Pan". She winks at the audience. The real Aang pulls back in shock.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Who are you, frozen boy?
ACTRESS AANG: [with a light-hearted laugh] I'm the Avatar, silly, here to spread joy and fun!
[Actress Aang spins with deliberate adorableness. Up in the box, Aang looks horrified. The others are taken aback -- aside from Zuko, who smirks.]
AANG: Wait... is that a woman playing me?!
ZUKO: Yep.
[A shaggy white prop -- "Appa" -- leaps from the iceberg and dances around the stage. "Appa", too, is wearing feminine makeup. Actress Katara falls to her knees before the "Avatar".]
ACTRESS KATARA: An Airbender! My heart is so full of hope that it's making me tearbend!
[Actress Katara bursts into noisy sobs. Actor Sokka drops to Actress Aang's other side.]
ACTOR SOKKA: My stomach is so empty that it's making me tearbend! [beginning to cry also] I need meat!
ACTRESS AANG: [putting a comforting arm around Actor Sokka's shoulder and pointing offstage] But wait, is that a platter of meaty dumplings?
ACTOR SOKKA: Where? Where?
[Actress Aang giggles uncontrollably.]
ACTRESS AANG: [striking a pose] Did I mention I'm an incurable prankster?
[The audience roars with laughter. Back in the box, Aang is red and steaming.]
AANG: I don't do that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!
TOPH: [chortling with the crowd] Oh, they nailed you, Twinkletoes!
[Cut back to the stage. A large cutout of a ship enters, with "Zuko" on the bow, looking out through a telescope. Like "Katara" and "Sokka", he is several years older, and his "scar" is on the wrong side. "Iroh", who looks surprisingly like the real thing, sits futher back on the deck. He holds up a plate.]
ACTOR IROH: Prince Zuko, you must try this cake!
ACTOR ZUKO: I don't have time to stuff my face. [turning melodramatically to the audience] I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor!
ACTOR IROH: [shrugging] Well, while you do that, maybe I'll capture another slice!
[Actor Iroh shoves the cake into his mouth and begins chewing loudly.]
ACTOR ZUKO: You sicken me.
[Actor Zuko looks back through the telescope. In the box, the real Zuko is not amused.]
ZUKO: They make me look totally stiff and humorless.
KATARA: [clearly trying to keep a straight face] Well... to be honest... that actor's pretty spot on.
ZUKO: [turning to Katara] How could you say that?!
[Back on stage...]
ACTOR IROH: Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages!
ACTOR ZUKO: [turning to Actor Iroh] How could you say that?!
[The real Katara glances at Zuko with a satisfied smirk.]
KATARA: Sorry.
[Zuko sinks in his seat, annoyed and embarrassed.
The backdrop onstage transforms to a representation the Southern Air Temple. Actress Aang feigns searching, one hand over her eyes. A tail waggles from behind a nearby bush prop.]
ACTRESS AANG: Hey, look, I think I found something!
[Actress Aang tugs at the tail... and steps back to reveal a large white puppet on her shoulder.]
ACTRESS AANG: It's a flying rabbit monkey! I think I'll name him... Momo!
[Actress Aang giggles, then begins to animate "Momo" with one hand, doing bad ventriloquy out the side of her mouth.]
PUPPET MOMO: Hi, everybody! I love you!
[The audience is delighted. In the box, Aang makes a noise of disgust and rubs his temple.
The scene moves to the events of "The Warriors of Kyoshi." By the standards of the play, "Suki" looks fairly accurate. Actor Sokka appears onstage in the Kyoshi uniform.]
ACTOR SOKKA: [pointing at his hindquarters] Does this dress make my butt look fat?
[The real Suki tries to hide her laughter behind her hand as Sokka blushes.
The play moves on to "The King of Omashu". "Bumi" is an actor in a muscular body suit, and the three members of the Acting Gaang avoid various dangers.]
ACTOR BUMI: Riddles and challenges you must face, if you are ever to leave the place!
[Actress Katara presses her hand to her forehead and sighs theatrically as the "genemite crystals" encase her. The real Katara huffs and rolls her eyes.
The scene changes to "pirates" in front of a painted ship for the events of "The Waterbending Scroll". The pirate actors attack each other, and the Acting Gaang slips out from beneath them and sneaks away, Actress Katara clutching an enormous scroll.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Why did you have to steal that waterbending scroll?!
ACTRESS KATARA: [crying] It just gave me so much hope!
[In the box, Katara is not pleased.
The scene moves to "The Blue Spirit", with Actress Aang tied up on a platform and surrounded by guards. It is Actor Zuko, not Zhao who has captured the "Avatar".]
ACTOR ZUKO: [with dramatic evil] The Avatar is mine! [pausing, then pointing offstage] Wait, who's coming?
[A gigantic painted mask, holding two swords, leaps onstage.]
ACTOR BLUE SPIRIT: [muffled] I am the Blue Spirit, scourge of the Fire Nation, here to save the Avatar!
[Actor Blue Spirit "slays" the guards, who fall to the floor. Actor Zuko and Actor Blue Spirit fight, with Actor Zuko tossing red ribbons to represent firebending. A moment later, Actor Zuko runs offstage.]
ACTRESS AANG: [mysteriously free from her bonds] My hero!
[Actress Aang leaps from the platform to land on Actor Blue Spirit's mask. Actor Blue Spirit dances her offstage. In the box, Zuko and Aang sideeye each other awkwardly.
Back on stage, the scene transforms to the events of "Jet". A sobbing Actress Katara and a huge-haired Actor Jet hang from a rope in front of a treehouse backdrop.]
ACTOR JET: [roguishly] Don't cry, baby! Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you!
[Actor Jet pulls Actress Katara flush against his body. Actress Katara is smitten. A wide blue sheet, representing a wave of water, covers the prop of the Earth Kingdom town.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [as the rope raises them above stage] Oh, Jet... you're so bad.
[In the box, Toph giggles and Katara hides her face, blushing as she glances sideways at Zuko. Zuko's hands are clenched around the balcony railing. Smoke rises from between his fingers.]
KATARA: Uh, Zuko...
[Zuko looks at her, and she nods pointedly at his hands. He lets go; hot embers glow in the shape of his palms.]
ZUKO: [grimacing] Sorry.
[Katara's blush deepens. Beside her, Toph laughs even harder.
In the scene, "Appa" and the Acting Gaang "fly" across the stage.]
ACTRESS AANG: [pointing down] Look! It's the Great Divide! The biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom!
[A beat.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Eh. Let's keep flying.
[The scene moves to the events of "The Siege of the North". Fake snow flutters from the catwalk as Actor Sokka and Actress Yue stand on a white bridge made of "ice", hit by a strong spotlight.]
ACTOR SOKKA: [holding "Yue"'s hands desperately] Don't go, Yue! You're the only woman who's ever taken my mind off of food!
[They kiss with a smack, and Actor Sokka sticks his tongue out.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Eugh! Did you have pickled fish for dinner?
[Actress Yue is slowly raised from the bridge, sitting atop a crescent moon. Actor Sokka reaches for her.]
ACTRESS YUE: Goodbye, Sokka! I have important moon duties to take care of! [as she exits] And yes, I did have pickled fish!
[Back in the box, Suki giggles.]
SUKI: You never told me you made out with the Moon Spirit.
SOKKA: [in tears] Shhh! I'm trying to watch!
[Suki glares and turns away, crossing her arms with a huff.
In scene, ropes pull tiny Fire Nation "ships" across the stage as Actress Aang -- in a large blue costume representing the Avatar State -- crushes a doll representing Admiral Zhao. She kicks the "ships" aside.]
ACTRESS AANG: [laughing] The Avatar is back to save the day!
[Actress Aang jumps around and stomps on the remaining "ships". As the curtain lowers, she trips over the Avatar State costume and falls on her stomach. The audience applauds wildly. Back in the box, Toph does the same. Everyone else looks horrified.]
Act II
[Cut to outside the theater. A balcony overlooks the sea; the Gaang is perched on a case of velvet steps leading into their box. Zuko moves a tiny flame back and forth along his fingers.]
ZUKO: [growling] So far, this intermission is the best part of the play.
[Katara looks away.]
SOKKA: [digging into a bag of jerky] Apparently, the playwright thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time!
SUKI: [sarcastically] Yeah. You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics.
SOKKA: [biting off a hunk of meat] I know!
AANG: [depressed] At least the Sokka actor kind of looks like you. That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!
TOPH: I don't know. You are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys.
[Aang groans.]
KATARA: Relax, Aang. They're not accurate portrayals. [glancing up at Zuko] I mean, it's not like I'm some preachy crybaby who's infatuated with idiots in trees.
[Zuko looks slightly mollified while everyone else snickers.]
AANG: Yeah, that's not you at all.
[Katara glares at Aang. Toph crosses her arms, extremely pleased.]
TOPH: Listen, friends. It’s obvious that the playwright did his research. [smugly] I know it must hurt, but what you’re seeing up there on that stage is the truth.
[Back in the theater, the second act -- Season Two -- begins. Green houses painted on a backdrop represent the Earth Kingdom. A large prop rock sits onstage.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [emphatic] Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom!
ACTRESS AANG: I'd better have a look around to see if I can find an earthbending teacher!
[Actress Aang snaps open a tiny "glider" and flies around the audience suspended on a rope. In the box, everyone but Toph is in various states of dejection. Zuko hides behind a playbill.]
TOPH: [leaning over the rail in anticipation] This is it! This must be where I come in!
[Actress Aang lands back onstage.]
ACTRESS AANG: I flew all over town, but I couldn't find a single earthbending master!
[Actress Katara and Actor Sokka react with exaggerated horror. In the box, Toph is clenching her hands with excitement.]
TOPH: Here it comes...
[From under the prop rock, a platform lifts a gigantic, muscled man onstage. It is "Toph."]
ACTOR TOPH: [with a deep, rugged voice] You can't find an earthbending master in the sky. You have to look underground!
[Actor Toph throws the rock at the Acting Gaang. Everyone except Toph bursts into laughter. Zuko drops the playbill in shock.]
ACTRESS AANG: Who are you?
[Actor Toph spits and flexes his muscles.]
ACTOR TOPH: My name's Toph... because it sounds like "tough", and that's just what I am!
[The audience laughs as Toph leans further over the rail, cleaning out her ears.]
TOPH: Wait a minute, I sound like... a guy. A really buff guy!
KATARA: [satisfied] Well, Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn't it?
TOPH: Are you kidding me? [gesturing at the stage in delight] I wouldn't have cast it any other way! At least it's not a flying bald lady!
[Aang scowls. On stage, Actress Aang waves a hand in from of Actor Toph's eyes.]
ACTRESS AANG: So you're blind?
ACTOR TOPH: [chuckling] I can see you doing that. I see everything that you see, except I don't see like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth.
[Actor Toph screams in the faces of the Acting Gaang. The audience covers their ears. In the box, everyone grimaces -- except for Toph, who is beside herself with joy.]
ACTOR TOPH: There. I got a pretty good look at you.
[The crowd applauds.
On stage, against a bare backdrop, Actor Iroh and Actor Zuko face each other.]
ACTOR IROH: Zuko, it's time we had a talk... about your hair. It's gone too far!
ACTOR ZUKO: [flipping his shoulder-length wig] Maybe it's best if we split up.
[Actor Zuko and Actor Iroh walk away from one another.
The scene moves to the end of "The Chase". The Acting Gaang, along with Actor Zuko and Actor Iroh, have cornered "Azula" in a prop ruin of a building.]
ACTOR ZUKO: Azula, my sister, what are you doing here?
ACTRESS AZULA: [hands in the air] You caught me. Wait, what's that? [pointing offstage] I think it's your honor!
ACTOR ZUKO: Where?!
[The actors look away. Actress Azula casually walks through a door in the set. The actors turn back, stunned.]
ACTRESS KATARA: She escaped... but how?
[The scene changes to the events of "The Drill". Actress Azula stands atop a prop drill, slowly attacking a backdrop of a stone wall. Actress Aang, standing on the wall, throws a "rock" at her.]
ACTRESS AANG: If she continues drilling, this wall will come down for sure!
ACTRESS AZULA: Haha, yes! Continue drilling! The city of Ba Sing Se can hide no longer!
[Actress Aang throws more "rocks". The members of the audience yawn and rub their eyes.
In the next scene, during "Lake Laogai", Jet is twirling with bugged-out eyes to represent his descent into madness.]
ACTRESS AANG: No, Jet! What did they do to you?!
ACTOR JET: [staggering forward and swinging hooked hands] Must... serve... Earth King! Must... destroy!
[A large "rock" appears from offstage and lands on Actor Jet. In the box, Katara looks sad and Zuko narrows his eyes.]
ZUKO: So... Jet is dead, right?
SOKKA: You know, it was really unclear.
ZUKO: [crossing his arms] Don't worry. I'll make sure to clarify it.
[Katara smacks Zuko on the shoulder. He winces.
On stage, Actress Azula laughs maniacally as Actor Zuko is shoved into a glowing green set. Crystals are painted on the backdrops, and Actress Katara points at him.]
ACTRESS KATARA: What are you doing here, Zuko, my mortal and eternal enemy?!
[In the box, Katara and Zuko's eyes widen in joint realization.]
ZUKO: [whispering] Don't worry. There's no way they can know. No one would tell them--
[Katara stands up abruptly.]
KATARA: This play's gotten kinda boring. Why don't we go home and play pai sho?
SOKKA: [trying to lean around Katara] Down in front!
KATARA: No, really, let's leave. Right now.
[Aang is slumped low in his chair, a sulky expression on his face.]
AANG: Let's just stay until I get zapped by Azula. I had to live through it, I should at least get to see the special effects.
[Katara glances at Zuko.]
KATARA: I guess... that much is okay. But then we're going.
[She sits back down. Toph smirks.]
TOPH: You almost act like there's something you don't want us to see, Sugar Queen.
[Katara stares tensely at the stage, and her hand creeps over to grab Zuko's. He looks down in surprise, then squeezes it.
Back in the scene, Actor Zuko stands between Actress Azula and Actor Iroh. Actor Zuko looks back and forth in exaggerated indecision.]
SOKKA: Hey, wait! Katara, you distracted me! What happened in the caves?
TOPH: [smirking wider] Just some foreshadowing, Snoozles, don't worry.
[Actress Azula gestures wide beneath a Fire Nation banner.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Well, my brother, what's it going to be? Your nation, or a life of treachery?
ACTOR IROH: [drinking from a bowl in front of an Earth Nation banner] Choose treachery, it’s more fun!
[A spotlight follows Actor Zuko as he walks slowly toward Actor Iroh.]
ACTRESS AZULA: [appalled] No way!
[Actor Zuko shoves Actor Iroh roughly, who drops his bowl and falls over, rolling on the stage.]
ACTOR ZUKO: I hate you, uncle! You smell, and I hate you for all time!
[Actor Iroh flees stage right as Actor Zuko and Actress Azula exit stage left. In the box, everyone looks shocked. Zuko hangs his head.]
KATARA: You didn't really say that, did you?
ZUKO: [sadly] I might as well have.
[Aang frowns at Zuko... and his expression softens a little.]
AANG: You know, even if you did say those things... he got over it.
ZUKO: He did?
TOPH: Yeah. Gramps does nothing but praise you to the skies, Sparky. It's super annoying.
AANG: It really is.
[Zuko looks considerably happier.
"Mai" and "Ty Lee" appear against a backdrop of the Earth King's throne room. Actress Mai's knives are carried through the air by stagehands and stab soldiers. Actress Ty Lee -- who is the size of two real Ty Lees -- "blocks the chi" of other soldiers by kissing them. The two Actresses pull a "Charlie's Angels" pose. The audience cheers.
Actress Aang and Actress Katara enter from the wings. A moment later, Actress Azula and Actor Zuko follow.]
ACTRESS AANG: [sailing through the air on a rope] We will never let you take Ba Sing Se!
ACTRESS KATARA: Zuko! How could you?!
ACTOR ZUKO: You'll never matter more than my honor!
[Actress Katara drops her "waterbending" ribbons and collapses to the ground crying. In the box, Katara is disgusted.]
KATARA: I didn't just... lay down and give up!
ZUKO: I'll say. That was the hardest fight of my life.
[Katara glances sideways at Zuko and smiles slightly.]
ACTRESS AANG: Avatar State, yip yip!
[The lights on stage go down. Actress Aang's arrows start to glow as the rope pulls her higher. The real Aang tenses up.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Not if my lightning can help it!
[Actress Azula snaps a thread of blue ribbon of "lightning" through the air. Actress Aang catches one end. Actress Azula shakes the ribbon as Actress Aang feigns convulsions. Both Actresses are lowered to the ground as the audience looks around in confusion.]
ACTRESS AZULA: The Avatar is no more!
[The audience understands that part and begins to cheer. Actress Azula takes a short bow, then turns to Actress Katara, who is wailing over the "Avatar"'s obviously breathing body.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Now, to tie up loose ends.
[Actor Zuko dives melodramatically in front of Katara.]
ACTOR ZUKO: No! I have use for her!
ACTRESS AZULA: [throwing up a hand] What-ever.
[The "Dai Li" -- wearing green cardboard hats -- drag away Actress Katara. In the box, Zuko and Katara stand simultaneously.]
KATARA: [brightly] Well, that was great.
ZUKO: I feel like we got our money's worth.
KATARA: I do too. Let's go.
[Toph grabs Katara's arm and yanks her back to her seat. Zuko, still holding Katara's hand, thuds down as well.]
TOPH: [grinning] C'mon, kids. I wanna see this next bit.
KATARA: [starting to panic] Toph, you don't understand--
[A "ship" -- the same ship Actor Zuko used in the first act -- is pulled onstage along ropes. Actress Katara and Actor Zuko stand on the deck. Actress Katara wears rags of her old Water Tribe costume.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [holding a hand to her forehead] Oh! I have been kept in the prison hold for months, without a scrap of food or water or a kind word! [beginning to sob] Hope is all I have left, and even that is draining away!
[Actor Zuko leers at her exaggeratedly.]
ACTOR ZUKO: So you want food?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
ACTOR ZUKO: And water?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
ACTOR ZUKO: And kind words?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
[Actor Zuko grabs Actress Katara's arm and jerks her against his body, ravishing-style.]
ACTOR ZUKO: Well, then... you know what you must do!
[The audience starts to wolf-whistle and cheer.]
ACTOR ZUKO: What will it be, Waterbender?
ACTRESS KATARA: [leaning away, her hands against his chest] What am I to do? How could I have come to such a place, where I must choose between my virtue and my survival?
[A beat.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [shrugging] Okay.
[The two fall to the deck, kissing passionately. The cat-calls and whistling from the audience gets louder, then changes to wild applause as the curtain lowers and the lights come up.
In the box, every person is frozen. Katara has one hand over her mouth; all the color has drained from Zuko's face. A moment later, Aang dashes out the door. Katara jumps up and runs after him.]
KATARA: Aang! Wait!
[Zuko is left alone with a stunned Toph, a flabbergasted Suki, and a stone-faced Sokka.]
TOPH: [blankly] All right, didn't see that one coming.
Act III
[Scene returns to inside the lobby of the theater. Various people are standing around, making small talk. The Gaang, sans Katara and Aang, are silent and grim.]
SUKI: [bursting out] Okay, this isn't real, right? I mean, Aang's not a girl, and Momo's not a sock puppet, and... it's just more artistic license, right, Zuko?
[Zuko stares at the floor.]
TOPH: [determined] C'mon, Sparky. Tell us how it really happened. You know I feel the truth in my feet.
[He shakes his head. Toph and Suki shrug at each other. Sokka, who has been leaning against a wall, moves to stand in front of Zuko.]
SOKKA: [coldly] Did you do that to my sister?
SUKI: Sokka--
SOKKA: [holding up a hand to cut Suki off] Did you. Do that. To my sister?
[Zuko glances up, meets Sokka's eyes for a brief moment... then looks down again.]
SOKKA: Right.
[Sokka punches Zuko in the face.]
[Cut to outside on the balcony. Aang stands alone, holding onto the railing; Katara waits just behind him, shuffling her feet. A long moment passes.]
KATARA: Are you okay?
AANG: [exploding] How can you ask me that?! If I hadn't blocked my chakra I'd probably be in the Avatar State right now, ripping Zuko into pieces!
KATARA: Aang, it's a play! It's just a play and it's gotten a hundred things wrong in less than two hours!
[Aang's expression lightens slightly.]
AANG: Really? So... it was wrong?
[A long pause. Katara hesitates, then looks away.]
KATARA: Most of it was wrong.
AANG: What? Most of it? Which parts?
KATARA: [cheeks reddening] It's like I've always said. Zuko got me out of the prison hold. He never made me give him anything in return. The rest of it... I'm sorry, Aang, but it's none of your business.
AANG: So... you and he...
KATARA: [shortly] I just said it's none of your business.
[Aang's shoulders slump.]
[Cut to the theater lobby. Toph and Suki wait by a concession stand as shouts and the sound of furniture crashing echoes around them. A table leg flies through the air; neither flinch.]
SUKI: I kind of feel like we should be doing something.
TOPH: [munching on a bag of fire gummies] Nah.
SUKI: You don't think he really--
TOPH: Definitely not. Besides, Gramps vouches for Sparky, and that's good enough for me. Fire gummy?
[Suki glances down, then shrugs and takes a handful of gummies, before stepping gracefully to the side to avoid a chair that splinters against the wall.]
[Cut to the balcony.]
AANG: I don't understand. I don't understand at all.
KATARA: [leaning against the railing] Yeah, I'm still trying to understand it too.
AANG: That doesn't make sense!
[Katara looks away sadly. The wind pulls at her hair.]
KATARA: I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out like this. I didn't want anyone to find out ever, but definitely not like this.
AANG: So... does that mean you love him or something?
KATARA: It doesn't work like that.
AANG: Because he's not a good--
KATARA: [exasperated] Aang, we're in the middle of a war, and we all have other things to deal with. And you shouldn't be worrying about it. You need to focus on training and being the Avatar. That's what's important.
[Aang's chin drops to his chest.]
AANG: I never really had a chance, did I?
KATARA: [blinks] What?
AANG: [in a rush] I always thought that when this was all over, you and I would be together. Guru Pathik said I had to stop loving you if I wanted to reach the Avatar State and I couldn't, and I just hoped...
[Aang trails off unhappily. The confusion fades from Katara's face, replaced by understanding horror.]
KATARA: Oh... oh, Aang, no. You have to learn the Avatar State.
AANG: And you don't love me.
KATARA: How can you say that? Of course I love you!
AANG: But just as a friend, right?
[Katara's eyes fill with tears. She remains silent.]
AANG: Yeah. Thought so.
[A hissing explosion sounds. Aang and Katara lean over the balcony in surprise and see a series of fireballs burning into the air, heading in a steady line back towards the beach house. Katara groans and runs back into the theater. Aang sighs and smacks his head lightly against the railing.]
AANG: [depressed] I'm such an idiot.
[Cut to the lobby. Sokka is slumped in a chair, flinching as Suki stuffs napkins into his bloody nose. Toph is talking to a very angry-looking manager.]
TOPH: [gulping back huge crocodile tears] But it's my birthday and I've wanted to see this show forever and the Ember Island Players are my very favorite troop in the history of the Fire Nation!
MANAGER: I'm sorry, little girl, but your friends destroyed many valuable antiques--
TOPH: Did I mention I only have six months to live?
[The manager frowns, then sighs resignedly. Toph grins.
Katara enters, looking around at the destruction. Sokka straightens up to stare at her and she winces.]
KATARA: Sokka, your nose looks like a sea slug.
SOKKA: [unamused] Why didn't you tell me?
KATARA: Where's Zuko?
SUKI: He left.
SOKKA: No, he escaped. Why didn't you tell me?
[Katara glances at Suki, then walks over to Sokka as he struggles to his feet. Sokka's expression, behind the bruising, is deeply wounded. Katara looks down in shame.]
SOKKA: I would have done something. I would have killed him for you. You're my sister.
KATARA: [under her breath] We'll talk about it later, okay?
SOKKA: We'll talk about it now.
[Toph comes over.]
TOPH: Okay, the manager's not going to kick us out. We have to pay for damages, though.
SUKI: We don't have any money.
TOPH: Yeah, but he doesn't know that. So are we gonna watch the rest of the play, or what?
KATARA: [disbelieving] You've got to be kidding.
SOKKA: [deadly serious] No, she's right. Let's go in. I want to see what happens next.
[Sokka stalks back towards their box; Suki gives Katara an apologetic shrug and follows. Katara takes a step toward the exit, looking worried.]
TOPH: I'd give him a little while, Sweetness.
[Katara pauses, then nods reluctantly. They follow Sokka and Suki into the theater.]
[At the beach house an hour later. Zuko sits in his room, meditating in front of a line of candles. There is a huge bruise across the good side of his face. A hesitant knock sounds at the door, then Katara enters.]
KATARA: Hi.
ZUKO: [without opening his eyes] How was the rest of the play?
KATARA: We all died.
ZUKO: Good.
[Katara sighs and steps forward, holding her elbows in her palms.]
KATARA: I want to thank you for not hurting Sokka too badly. I'm going to sit down with him and explain.
ZUKO: I don't think it will help.
KATARA: It'll help some. And anyway, he knows Aang hasn't finished his training. Sokka would never jeopardize the war over this.
[Zuko continues to meditate. Katara waits for several moments, then lowers her eyes and turns to leave.]
ZUKO: That's the way it happened, isn't it.
KATARA: [looking back] What?
ZUKO: I made you think you had to. That's what happened.
KATARA: [groaning] Oh, come on. I'm already dealing with Sokka and Aang. Don't you start.
[Zuko remains still as the flames on the candles flicker and tremble. Katara's eyes widen.]
KATARA: You're serious.
ZUKO: It's like Toph said. What we saw up on stage was the truth.
KATARA: Zuko, stop it. You got me out of the prison hold weeks before we started... having tea. You didn't say what that stupid actor said.
ZUKO: Just because I didn't say it doesn't mean you didn't believe it.
[Katara sits on the edge of Zuko's bed.]
KATARA: If I believed those things, I wouldn't have given you my mother's necklace.
ZUKO: You won't take it back, though.
[Katara shifts uncomfortably. Zuko opens his eyes and looks over, focusing somewhere around Katara's feet.]
ZUKO: [quiet] Why, Katara? You hated me.
[Katara flushes and starts to pick at her fingernails.]
KATARA: I don't know. I thought we were still fighting. And I was bored-- [catching the expression on Zuko's face] --but I liked it. I kept doing it because I liked it.
ZUKO: Except you ran away the first chance you got.
KATARA: [incredulous] Of course I did. Just because I liked that doesn't mean I liked being a prisoner!
[If anything, Zuko looks more miserable. He swallows visibly.]
ZUKO: I'd stopped thinking of you as a prisoner.
KATARA: I hadn't.
ZUKO: Yeah. I know. But when it was just the two of us... [downcast] I wanted to make you happy.
KATARA: You can't make someone be happy.
ZUKO: I guess not.
[A gloomy minute passes. Finally Katara uncorks her water skin and pats the mattress.]
KATARA: Come here and let me fix that.
[Zuko gets off the floor and sits next to her on the bed. Katara wets her palms. Her hands begin to glow blue.]
KATARA: [examining Zuko's face] I can't believe Sokka got such a good hit.
ZUKO: I didn't try to stop him. [at Katara's raised eyebrow] Well, not the first time, anyway.
KATARA: You two tore up the theater.
ZUKO: I'll send the bill to the Palace.
[Katara brushes her fingers gently across Zuko's cheek. He closes his eyes. After a few strokes the purple bruises fade to red, then pale yellow, then disappear entirely.
Katara leans forward and kisses him. Zuko's eyes fly open, then quickly shut again as he responds, reaching up to touch her hair. Eventually Katara pulls away and stands.]
ZUKO: [in wonder] You didn't have to do that.
KATARA: You're right. I didn't.
[Katara exits. Zuko stares at the closed door, then leans back on his bed and waves his hand at the candles. The flames go out.]
click here to return to FFn
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Zuko, Katara, Toph, Aang, Sokka, Suki (Zutara)
Genre: Romance/Angst
Warnings: None.
Summary:
The Gaang goes to see a play about themselves... and no one likes what they discover. Sparrowkeet!verse.
A/N: Thank God for online transcripts. Large parts of this are lifted in their entirety from AvatarSpirit.net and AvatarWiki; they did all the hard work and deserve all the credit. Forever in debt to those two sites (not just for this, but in general).
By the way, I bled for this formatting. BLED. And did you know it's possible to run out of adjectives for "melodramatic"? Because it is.
This takes place shortly after A Rush of Blood to the Head and not long before Of Edged Weapons and Eavesdropping.
The Fourth Wall
(or, The Ember Island Players)
“Life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”
-Oscar Wilde
Act I
[Episode opens at the Fire Lord's beach house on Ember Island, which is large, opulent, and derelict. In the open courtyard Zuko and Aang practice firebending. Every now and then tiny flames break out on the Avatar's robes, and Zuko stops to change Aang's arm position or stance, muttering to himself. Finally the exercises stop, and the two bow to each other irritably.
Katara and Toph are relaxing on nearby steps. Katara is pretending not to watch Zuko. Toph is smirking.]
TOPH: Something on your mind, Sugar Queen?
[Katara glares at Toph, remembers Toph can't see, and humphs.]
KATARA: [testily] I was just thinking, doesn't it seem kind of weird that we're hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house?
[Zuko sits at the edge of a fountain, toweling off his hair.]
ZUKO: I told you, my Father hasn’t come here since our family was actually happy. [looking down] And that was a long time ago. It's the last place anyone would think to look for us.
[Sokka and Suki enter. Sokka is grinning excitedly.]
SOKKA: You guys are not going to believe this. There's a play about us!
SUKI: We were just in town and we found this poster!
[Sokka unrolls the poster. It's a brightly-colored picture of "Katara", "Sokka", and "Aang" in battle positions with a background image of "Zuko" overlooking menacingly. In other words, a parody of the Season One DVD box cover.]
KATARA: What? How is that possible?
SOKKA: Listen to this. [flipping the poster towards himself and reading] "The Boy In The Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy south pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prison guards, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage."
SUKI: [leaning in] "Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players."
[Zuko groans. Everyone looks over.]
ZUKO: My mother used to take us to see them. They butchered "Love Amongst the Dragons" every year.
KATARA: [turning back] Sokka, do you really think it's a good idea to attend a play about ourselves?
SOKKA: Come on, a day at the theatre? [beaming] This is the kind of wacky time-wasting nonsense I've been missing!
[Fade to the theater at night. The Gaang walk into a private viewing box on the second floor. All are in Fire Nation disguise, with Zuko wearing a hood to hide his scar and Aang wearing a hat to hide his arrow.
Zuko sits beside Katara just as Aang moves to do the same.]
AANG: [plaintively] Hey, I wanted to--
ZUKO: No.
[The two glare at each other for a moment... then Aang plops down next to Zuko with a huff. Zuko glances to his right and scoots an inch or two closer to Katara.
Suki and Sokka settle into the back row. Sokka throws his arm around Suki. Toph sits on the other side of Katara and scowls.]
TOPH: Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can't see a thing from up here!
KATARA: Don't worry, I'll tell your feet what's happening.
[The lights lower and the play begins. On stage, crude props and backdrops indicate that the scene is set in the South Pole. "Katara" and "Sokka" row along in a canoe; the real Katara and Sokka lean forward eagerly.
Both actors are substantially older than their real-life counterparts. "Katara" is curvy, with heavy makeup and a revealing cut to her robes; "Sokka" is tall and unattractive.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [sighing melodramatically] Sokka, my only brother! We constantly roam these icy South Pole seas, and yet never do we find anything fulfilling!
ACTOR SOKKA: All I want is a full feeling in my stomach! [directly to the audience] I'm starving!
[The audience laughs. In the box, Sokka and Katara look at each other, confused.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Is food the only thing on your mind?
ACTOR SOKKA: Well, I'm trying to get out of my mind, and into my mouth! [gesturing emphatically at his open mouth] I'm starving!
[More laughter.]
SOKKA: [pouting] This is pathetic! My jokes are way funnier than this!
TOPH: [laughing along with the audience] I think he's got you pegged!
[Actress Katara stands up in the canoe.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Every day, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears! [pressing a hand to her heart dramatically] Still, we can not give up hope! For hope is all we have! [begins to cry] And we must never relinquish it, even to our dying breath!
[Actress Katara collapses into tears. In the box, Sokka and Suki snicker.]
KATARA: [peeved] Well, that's just silly. I don't sound like that. [glancing sideways and narrowing her eyes] Right?!
[Zuko scratches his cheek while Aang looks at the ceiling with deliberate nonchalance.]
TOPH: [chuckling] Oh, man, this writer's a genius!
[On stage, a white cutout indicating an iceberg rises over the scene. A shadow puppet inside waggles back and forth.]
ACTRESS KATARA: It appears to be someone frozen in ice! Perhaps for a hundred years!
ACTOR SOKKA: But who is the boy in the iceberg?
[Aang leans forward excitedly. Zuko rolls his eyes.
Actress Katara and Actor Sokka scale the iceberg prop.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [performing a chopping motion] Waterbend, hai-ya!
[Cracks cut through the "iceberg" and smoke rolls out onto the stage. A moment later, "Aang" jumps downstage. "Aang" is an adult woman with a twinkling manner, a la Mary Martin in "Peter Pan". She winks at the audience. The real Aang pulls back in shock.]
ACTRESS KATARA: Who are you, frozen boy?
ACTRESS AANG: [with a light-hearted laugh] I'm the Avatar, silly, here to spread joy and fun!
[Actress Aang spins with deliberate adorableness. Up in the box, Aang looks horrified. The others are taken aback -- aside from Zuko, who smirks.]
AANG: Wait... is that a woman playing me?!
ZUKO: Yep.
[A shaggy white prop -- "Appa" -- leaps from the iceberg and dances around the stage. "Appa", too, is wearing feminine makeup. Actress Katara falls to her knees before the "Avatar".]
ACTRESS KATARA: An Airbender! My heart is so full of hope that it's making me tearbend!
[Actress Katara bursts into noisy sobs. Actor Sokka drops to Actress Aang's other side.]
ACTOR SOKKA: My stomach is so empty that it's making me tearbend! [beginning to cry also] I need meat!
ACTRESS AANG: [putting a comforting arm around Actor Sokka's shoulder and pointing offstage] But wait, is that a platter of meaty dumplings?
ACTOR SOKKA: Where? Where?
[Actress Aang giggles uncontrollably.]
ACTRESS AANG: [striking a pose] Did I mention I'm an incurable prankster?
[The audience roars with laughter. Back in the box, Aang is red and steaming.]
AANG: I don't do that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!
TOPH: [chortling with the crowd] Oh, they nailed you, Twinkletoes!
[Cut back to the stage. A large cutout of a ship enters, with "Zuko" on the bow, looking out through a telescope. Like "Katara" and "Sokka", he is several years older, and his "scar" is on the wrong side. "Iroh", who looks surprisingly like the real thing, sits futher back on the deck. He holds up a plate.]
ACTOR IROH: Prince Zuko, you must try this cake!
ACTOR ZUKO: I don't have time to stuff my face. [turning melodramatically to the audience] I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor!
ACTOR IROH: [shrugging] Well, while you do that, maybe I'll capture another slice!
[Actor Iroh shoves the cake into his mouth and begins chewing loudly.]
ACTOR ZUKO: You sicken me.
[Actor Zuko looks back through the telescope. In the box, the real Zuko is not amused.]
ZUKO: They make me look totally stiff and humorless.
KATARA: [clearly trying to keep a straight face] Well... to be honest... that actor's pretty spot on.
ZUKO: [turning to Katara] How could you say that?!
[Back on stage...]
ACTOR IROH: Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages!
ACTOR ZUKO: [turning to Actor Iroh] How could you say that?!
[The real Katara glances at Zuko with a satisfied smirk.]
KATARA: Sorry.
[Zuko sinks in his seat, annoyed and embarrassed.
The backdrop onstage transforms to a representation the Southern Air Temple. Actress Aang feigns searching, one hand over her eyes. A tail waggles from behind a nearby bush prop.]
ACTRESS AANG: Hey, look, I think I found something!
[Actress Aang tugs at the tail... and steps back to reveal a large white puppet on her shoulder.]
ACTRESS AANG: It's a flying rabbit monkey! I think I'll name him... Momo!
[Actress Aang giggles, then begins to animate "Momo" with one hand, doing bad ventriloquy out the side of her mouth.]
PUPPET MOMO: Hi, everybody! I love you!
[The audience is delighted. In the box, Aang makes a noise of disgust and rubs his temple.
The scene moves to the events of "The Warriors of Kyoshi." By the standards of the play, "Suki" looks fairly accurate. Actor Sokka appears onstage in the Kyoshi uniform.]
ACTOR SOKKA: [pointing at his hindquarters] Does this dress make my butt look fat?
[The real Suki tries to hide her laughter behind her hand as Sokka blushes.
The play moves on to "The King of Omashu". "Bumi" is an actor in a muscular body suit, and the three members of the Acting Gaang avoid various dangers.]
ACTOR BUMI: Riddles and challenges you must face, if you are ever to leave the place!
[Actress Katara presses her hand to her forehead and sighs theatrically as the "genemite crystals" encase her. The real Katara huffs and rolls her eyes.
The scene changes to "pirates" in front of a painted ship for the events of "The Waterbending Scroll". The pirate actors attack each other, and the Acting Gaang slips out from beneath them and sneaks away, Actress Katara clutching an enormous scroll.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Why did you have to steal that waterbending scroll?!
ACTRESS KATARA: [crying] It just gave me so much hope!
[In the box, Katara is not pleased.
The scene moves to "The Blue Spirit", with Actress Aang tied up on a platform and surrounded by guards. It is Actor Zuko, not Zhao who has captured the "Avatar".]
ACTOR ZUKO: [with dramatic evil] The Avatar is mine! [pausing, then pointing offstage] Wait, who's coming?
[A gigantic painted mask, holding two swords, leaps onstage.]
ACTOR BLUE SPIRIT: [muffled] I am the Blue Spirit, scourge of the Fire Nation, here to save the Avatar!
[Actor Blue Spirit "slays" the guards, who fall to the floor. Actor Zuko and Actor Blue Spirit fight, with Actor Zuko tossing red ribbons to represent firebending. A moment later, Actor Zuko runs offstage.]
ACTRESS AANG: [mysteriously free from her bonds] My hero!
[Actress Aang leaps from the platform to land on Actor Blue Spirit's mask. Actor Blue Spirit dances her offstage. In the box, Zuko and Aang sideeye each other awkwardly.
Back on stage, the scene transforms to the events of "Jet". A sobbing Actress Katara and a huge-haired Actor Jet hang from a rope in front of a treehouse backdrop.]
ACTOR JET: [roguishly] Don't cry, baby! Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you!
[Actor Jet pulls Actress Katara flush against his body. Actress Katara is smitten. A wide blue sheet, representing a wave of water, covers the prop of the Earth Kingdom town.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [as the rope raises them above stage] Oh, Jet... you're so bad.
[In the box, Toph giggles and Katara hides her face, blushing as she glances sideways at Zuko. Zuko's hands are clenched around the balcony railing. Smoke rises from between his fingers.]
KATARA: Uh, Zuko...
[Zuko looks at her, and she nods pointedly at his hands. He lets go; hot embers glow in the shape of his palms.]
ZUKO: [grimacing] Sorry.
[Katara's blush deepens. Beside her, Toph laughs even harder.
In the scene, "Appa" and the Acting Gaang "fly" across the stage.]
ACTRESS AANG: [pointing down] Look! It's the Great Divide! The biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom!
[A beat.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Eh. Let's keep flying.
[The scene moves to the events of "The Siege of the North". Fake snow flutters from the catwalk as Actor Sokka and Actress Yue stand on a white bridge made of "ice", hit by a strong spotlight.]
ACTOR SOKKA: [holding "Yue"'s hands desperately] Don't go, Yue! You're the only woman who's ever taken my mind off of food!
[They kiss with a smack, and Actor Sokka sticks his tongue out.]
ACTOR SOKKA: Eugh! Did you have pickled fish for dinner?
[Actress Yue is slowly raised from the bridge, sitting atop a crescent moon. Actor Sokka reaches for her.]
ACTRESS YUE: Goodbye, Sokka! I have important moon duties to take care of! [as she exits] And yes, I did have pickled fish!
[Back in the box, Suki giggles.]
SUKI: You never told me you made out with the Moon Spirit.
SOKKA: [in tears] Shhh! I'm trying to watch!
[Suki glares and turns away, crossing her arms with a huff.
In scene, ropes pull tiny Fire Nation "ships" across the stage as Actress Aang -- in a large blue costume representing the Avatar State -- crushes a doll representing Admiral Zhao. She kicks the "ships" aside.]
ACTRESS AANG: [laughing] The Avatar is back to save the day!
[Actress Aang jumps around and stomps on the remaining "ships". As the curtain lowers, she trips over the Avatar State costume and falls on her stomach. The audience applauds wildly. Back in the box, Toph does the same. Everyone else looks horrified.]
Act II
[Cut to outside the theater. A balcony overlooks the sea; the Gaang is perched on a case of velvet steps leading into their box. Zuko moves a tiny flame back and forth along his fingers.]
ZUKO: [growling] So far, this intermission is the best part of the play.
[Katara looks away.]
SOKKA: [digging into a bag of jerky] Apparently, the playwright thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time!
SUKI: [sarcastically] Yeah. You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics.
SOKKA: [biting off a hunk of meat] I know!
AANG: [depressed] At least the Sokka actor kind of looks like you. That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!
TOPH: I don't know. You are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys.
[Aang groans.]
KATARA: Relax, Aang. They're not accurate portrayals. [glancing up at Zuko] I mean, it's not like I'm some preachy crybaby who's infatuated with idiots in trees.
[Zuko looks slightly mollified while everyone else snickers.]
AANG: Yeah, that's not you at all.
[Katara glares at Aang. Toph crosses her arms, extremely pleased.]
TOPH: Listen, friends. It’s obvious that the playwright did his research. [smugly] I know it must hurt, but what you’re seeing up there on that stage is the truth.
[Back in the theater, the second act -- Season Two -- begins. Green houses painted on a backdrop represent the Earth Kingdom. A large prop rock sits onstage.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [emphatic] Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom!
ACTRESS AANG: I'd better have a look around to see if I can find an earthbending teacher!
[Actress Aang snaps open a tiny "glider" and flies around the audience suspended on a rope. In the box, everyone but Toph is in various states of dejection. Zuko hides behind a playbill.]
TOPH: [leaning over the rail in anticipation] This is it! This must be where I come in!
[Actress Aang lands back onstage.]
ACTRESS AANG: I flew all over town, but I couldn't find a single earthbending master!
[Actress Katara and Actor Sokka react with exaggerated horror. In the box, Toph is clenching her hands with excitement.]
TOPH: Here it comes...
[From under the prop rock, a platform lifts a gigantic, muscled man onstage. It is "Toph."]
ACTOR TOPH: [with a deep, rugged voice] You can't find an earthbending master in the sky. You have to look underground!
[Actor Toph throws the rock at the Acting Gaang. Everyone except Toph bursts into laughter. Zuko drops the playbill in shock.]
ACTRESS AANG: Who are you?
[Actor Toph spits and flexes his muscles.]
ACTOR TOPH: My name's Toph... because it sounds like "tough", and that's just what I am!
[The audience laughs as Toph leans further over the rail, cleaning out her ears.]
TOPH: Wait a minute, I sound like... a guy. A really buff guy!
KATARA: [satisfied] Well, Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn't it?
TOPH: Are you kidding me? [gesturing at the stage in delight] I wouldn't have cast it any other way! At least it's not a flying bald lady!
[Aang scowls. On stage, Actress Aang waves a hand in from of Actor Toph's eyes.]
ACTRESS AANG: So you're blind?
ACTOR TOPH: [chuckling] I can see you doing that. I see everything that you see, except I don't see like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth.
[Actor Toph screams in the faces of the Acting Gaang. The audience covers their ears. In the box, everyone grimaces -- except for Toph, who is beside herself with joy.]
ACTOR TOPH: There. I got a pretty good look at you.
[The crowd applauds.
On stage, against a bare backdrop, Actor Iroh and Actor Zuko face each other.]
ACTOR IROH: Zuko, it's time we had a talk... about your hair. It's gone too far!
ACTOR ZUKO: [flipping his shoulder-length wig] Maybe it's best if we split up.
[Actor Zuko and Actor Iroh walk away from one another.
The scene moves to the end of "The Chase". The Acting Gaang, along with Actor Zuko and Actor Iroh, have cornered "Azula" in a prop ruin of a building.]
ACTOR ZUKO: Azula, my sister, what are you doing here?
ACTRESS AZULA: [hands in the air] You caught me. Wait, what's that? [pointing offstage] I think it's your honor!
ACTOR ZUKO: Where?!
[The actors look away. Actress Azula casually walks through a door in the set. The actors turn back, stunned.]
ACTRESS KATARA: She escaped... but how?
[The scene changes to the events of "The Drill". Actress Azula stands atop a prop drill, slowly attacking a backdrop of a stone wall. Actress Aang, standing on the wall, throws a "rock" at her.]
ACTRESS AANG: If she continues drilling, this wall will come down for sure!
ACTRESS AZULA: Haha, yes! Continue drilling! The city of Ba Sing Se can hide no longer!
[Actress Aang throws more "rocks". The members of the audience yawn and rub their eyes.
In the next scene, during "Lake Laogai", Jet is twirling with bugged-out eyes to represent his descent into madness.]
ACTRESS AANG: No, Jet! What did they do to you?!
ACTOR JET: [staggering forward and swinging hooked hands] Must... serve... Earth King! Must... destroy!
[A large "rock" appears from offstage and lands on Actor Jet. In the box, Katara looks sad and Zuko narrows his eyes.]
ZUKO: So... Jet is dead, right?
SOKKA: You know, it was really unclear.
ZUKO: [crossing his arms] Don't worry. I'll make sure to clarify it.
[Katara smacks Zuko on the shoulder. He winces.
On stage, Actress Azula laughs maniacally as Actor Zuko is shoved into a glowing green set. Crystals are painted on the backdrops, and Actress Katara points at him.]
ACTRESS KATARA: What are you doing here, Zuko, my mortal and eternal enemy?!
[In the box, Katara and Zuko's eyes widen in joint realization.]
ZUKO: [whispering] Don't worry. There's no way they can know. No one would tell them--
[Katara stands up abruptly.]
KATARA: This play's gotten kinda boring. Why don't we go home and play pai sho?
SOKKA: [trying to lean around Katara] Down in front!
KATARA: No, really, let's leave. Right now.
[Aang is slumped low in his chair, a sulky expression on his face.]
AANG: Let's just stay until I get zapped by Azula. I had to live through it, I should at least get to see the special effects.
[Katara glances at Zuko.]
KATARA: I guess... that much is okay. But then we're going.
[She sits back down. Toph smirks.]
TOPH: You almost act like there's something you don't want us to see, Sugar Queen.
[Katara stares tensely at the stage, and her hand creeps over to grab Zuko's. He looks down in surprise, then squeezes it.
Back in the scene, Actor Zuko stands between Actress Azula and Actor Iroh. Actor Zuko looks back and forth in exaggerated indecision.]
SOKKA: Hey, wait! Katara, you distracted me! What happened in the caves?
TOPH: [smirking wider] Just some foreshadowing, Snoozles, don't worry.
[Actress Azula gestures wide beneath a Fire Nation banner.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Well, my brother, what's it going to be? Your nation, or a life of treachery?
ACTOR IROH: [drinking from a bowl in front of an Earth Nation banner] Choose treachery, it’s more fun!
[A spotlight follows Actor Zuko as he walks slowly toward Actor Iroh.]
ACTRESS AZULA: [appalled] No way!
[Actor Zuko shoves Actor Iroh roughly, who drops his bowl and falls over, rolling on the stage.]
ACTOR ZUKO: I hate you, uncle! You smell, and I hate you for all time!
[Actor Iroh flees stage right as Actor Zuko and Actress Azula exit stage left. In the box, everyone looks shocked. Zuko hangs his head.]
KATARA: You didn't really say that, did you?
ZUKO: [sadly] I might as well have.
[Aang frowns at Zuko... and his expression softens a little.]
AANG: You know, even if you did say those things... he got over it.
ZUKO: He did?
TOPH: Yeah. Gramps does nothing but praise you to the skies, Sparky. It's super annoying.
AANG: It really is.
[Zuko looks considerably happier.
"Mai" and "Ty Lee" appear against a backdrop of the Earth King's throne room. Actress Mai's knives are carried through the air by stagehands and stab soldiers. Actress Ty Lee -- who is the size of two real Ty Lees -- "blocks the chi" of other soldiers by kissing them. The two Actresses pull a "Charlie's Angels" pose. The audience cheers.
Actress Aang and Actress Katara enter from the wings. A moment later, Actress Azula and Actor Zuko follow.]
ACTRESS AANG: [sailing through the air on a rope] We will never let you take Ba Sing Se!
ACTRESS KATARA: Zuko! How could you?!
ACTOR ZUKO: You'll never matter more than my honor!
[Actress Katara drops her "waterbending" ribbons and collapses to the ground crying. In the box, Katara is disgusted.]
KATARA: I didn't just... lay down and give up!
ZUKO: I'll say. That was the hardest fight of my life.
[Katara glances sideways at Zuko and smiles slightly.]
ACTRESS AANG: Avatar State, yip yip!
[The lights on stage go down. Actress Aang's arrows start to glow as the rope pulls her higher. The real Aang tenses up.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Not if my lightning can help it!
[Actress Azula snaps a thread of blue ribbon of "lightning" through the air. Actress Aang catches one end. Actress Azula shakes the ribbon as Actress Aang feigns convulsions. Both Actresses are lowered to the ground as the audience looks around in confusion.]
ACTRESS AZULA: The Avatar is no more!
[The audience understands that part and begins to cheer. Actress Azula takes a short bow, then turns to Actress Katara, who is wailing over the "Avatar"'s obviously breathing body.]
ACTRESS AZULA: Now, to tie up loose ends.
[Actor Zuko dives melodramatically in front of Katara.]
ACTOR ZUKO: No! I have use for her!
ACTRESS AZULA: [throwing up a hand] What-ever.
[The "Dai Li" -- wearing green cardboard hats -- drag away Actress Katara. In the box, Zuko and Katara stand simultaneously.]
KATARA: [brightly] Well, that was great.
ZUKO: I feel like we got our money's worth.
KATARA: I do too. Let's go.
[Toph grabs Katara's arm and yanks her back to her seat. Zuko, still holding Katara's hand, thuds down as well.]
TOPH: [grinning] C'mon, kids. I wanna see this next bit.
KATARA: [starting to panic] Toph, you don't understand--
[A "ship" -- the same ship Actor Zuko used in the first act -- is pulled onstage along ropes. Actress Katara and Actor Zuko stand on the deck. Actress Katara wears rags of her old Water Tribe costume.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [holding a hand to her forehead] Oh! I have been kept in the prison hold for months, without a scrap of food or water or a kind word! [beginning to sob] Hope is all I have left, and even that is draining away!
[Actor Zuko leers at her exaggeratedly.]
ACTOR ZUKO: So you want food?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
ACTOR ZUKO: And water?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
ACTOR ZUKO: And kind words?
ACTRESS KATARA: Yes!
[Actor Zuko grabs Actress Katara's arm and jerks her against his body, ravishing-style.]
ACTOR ZUKO: Well, then... you know what you must do!
[The audience starts to wolf-whistle and cheer.]
ACTOR ZUKO: What will it be, Waterbender?
ACTRESS KATARA: [leaning away, her hands against his chest] What am I to do? How could I have come to such a place, where I must choose between my virtue and my survival?
[A beat.]
ACTRESS KATARA: [shrugging] Okay.
[The two fall to the deck, kissing passionately. The cat-calls and whistling from the audience gets louder, then changes to wild applause as the curtain lowers and the lights come up.
In the box, every person is frozen. Katara has one hand over her mouth; all the color has drained from Zuko's face. A moment later, Aang dashes out the door. Katara jumps up and runs after him.]
KATARA: Aang! Wait!
[Zuko is left alone with a stunned Toph, a flabbergasted Suki, and a stone-faced Sokka.]
TOPH: [blankly] All right, didn't see that one coming.
Act III
[Scene returns to inside the lobby of the theater. Various people are standing around, making small talk. The Gaang, sans Katara and Aang, are silent and grim.]
SUKI: [bursting out] Okay, this isn't real, right? I mean, Aang's not a girl, and Momo's not a sock puppet, and... it's just more artistic license, right, Zuko?
[Zuko stares at the floor.]
TOPH: [determined] C'mon, Sparky. Tell us how it really happened. You know I feel the truth in my feet.
[He shakes his head. Toph and Suki shrug at each other. Sokka, who has been leaning against a wall, moves to stand in front of Zuko.]
SOKKA: [coldly] Did you do that to my sister?
SUKI: Sokka--
SOKKA: [holding up a hand to cut Suki off] Did you. Do that. To my sister?
[Zuko glances up, meets Sokka's eyes for a brief moment... then looks down again.]
SOKKA: Right.
[Sokka punches Zuko in the face.]
[Cut to outside on the balcony. Aang stands alone, holding onto the railing; Katara waits just behind him, shuffling her feet. A long moment passes.]
KATARA: Are you okay?
AANG: [exploding] How can you ask me that?! If I hadn't blocked my chakra I'd probably be in the Avatar State right now, ripping Zuko into pieces!
KATARA: Aang, it's a play! It's just a play and it's gotten a hundred things wrong in less than two hours!
[Aang's expression lightens slightly.]
AANG: Really? So... it was wrong?
[A long pause. Katara hesitates, then looks away.]
KATARA: Most of it was wrong.
AANG: What? Most of it? Which parts?
KATARA: [cheeks reddening] It's like I've always said. Zuko got me out of the prison hold. He never made me give him anything in return. The rest of it... I'm sorry, Aang, but it's none of your business.
AANG: So... you and he...
KATARA: [shortly] I just said it's none of your business.
[Aang's shoulders slump.]
[Cut to the theater lobby. Toph and Suki wait by a concession stand as shouts and the sound of furniture crashing echoes around them. A table leg flies through the air; neither flinch.]
SUKI: I kind of feel like we should be doing something.
TOPH: [munching on a bag of fire gummies] Nah.
SUKI: You don't think he really--
TOPH: Definitely not. Besides, Gramps vouches for Sparky, and that's good enough for me. Fire gummy?
[Suki glances down, then shrugs and takes a handful of gummies, before stepping gracefully to the side to avoid a chair that splinters against the wall.]
[Cut to the balcony.]
AANG: I don't understand. I don't understand at all.
KATARA: [leaning against the railing] Yeah, I'm still trying to understand it too.
AANG: That doesn't make sense!
[Katara looks away sadly. The wind pulls at her hair.]
KATARA: I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out like this. I didn't want anyone to find out ever, but definitely not like this.
AANG: So... does that mean you love him or something?
KATARA: It doesn't work like that.
AANG: Because he's not a good--
KATARA: [exasperated] Aang, we're in the middle of a war, and we all have other things to deal with. And you shouldn't be worrying about it. You need to focus on training and being the Avatar. That's what's important.
[Aang's chin drops to his chest.]
AANG: I never really had a chance, did I?
KATARA: [blinks] What?
AANG: [in a rush] I always thought that when this was all over, you and I would be together. Guru Pathik said I had to stop loving you if I wanted to reach the Avatar State and I couldn't, and I just hoped...
[Aang trails off unhappily. The confusion fades from Katara's face, replaced by understanding horror.]
KATARA: Oh... oh, Aang, no. You have to learn the Avatar State.
AANG: And you don't love me.
KATARA: How can you say that? Of course I love you!
AANG: But just as a friend, right?
[Katara's eyes fill with tears. She remains silent.]
AANG: Yeah. Thought so.
[A hissing explosion sounds. Aang and Katara lean over the balcony in surprise and see a series of fireballs burning into the air, heading in a steady line back towards the beach house. Katara groans and runs back into the theater. Aang sighs and smacks his head lightly against the railing.]
AANG: [depressed] I'm such an idiot.
[Cut to the lobby. Sokka is slumped in a chair, flinching as Suki stuffs napkins into his bloody nose. Toph is talking to a very angry-looking manager.]
TOPH: [gulping back huge crocodile tears] But it's my birthday and I've wanted to see this show forever and the Ember Island Players are my very favorite troop in the history of the Fire Nation!
MANAGER: I'm sorry, little girl, but your friends destroyed many valuable antiques--
TOPH: Did I mention I only have six months to live?
[The manager frowns, then sighs resignedly. Toph grins.
Katara enters, looking around at the destruction. Sokka straightens up to stare at her and she winces.]
KATARA: Sokka, your nose looks like a sea slug.
SOKKA: [unamused] Why didn't you tell me?
KATARA: Where's Zuko?
SUKI: He left.
SOKKA: No, he escaped. Why didn't you tell me?
[Katara glances at Suki, then walks over to Sokka as he struggles to his feet. Sokka's expression, behind the bruising, is deeply wounded. Katara looks down in shame.]
SOKKA: I would have done something. I would have killed him for you. You're my sister.
KATARA: [under her breath] We'll talk about it later, okay?
SOKKA: We'll talk about it now.
[Toph comes over.]
TOPH: Okay, the manager's not going to kick us out. We have to pay for damages, though.
SUKI: We don't have any money.
TOPH: Yeah, but he doesn't know that. So are we gonna watch the rest of the play, or what?
KATARA: [disbelieving] You've got to be kidding.
SOKKA: [deadly serious] No, she's right. Let's go in. I want to see what happens next.
[Sokka stalks back towards their box; Suki gives Katara an apologetic shrug and follows. Katara takes a step toward the exit, looking worried.]
TOPH: I'd give him a little while, Sweetness.
[Katara pauses, then nods reluctantly. They follow Sokka and Suki into the theater.]
[At the beach house an hour later. Zuko sits in his room, meditating in front of a line of candles. There is a huge bruise across the good side of his face. A hesitant knock sounds at the door, then Katara enters.]
KATARA: Hi.
ZUKO: [without opening his eyes] How was the rest of the play?
KATARA: We all died.
ZUKO: Good.
[Katara sighs and steps forward, holding her elbows in her palms.]
KATARA: I want to thank you for not hurting Sokka too badly. I'm going to sit down with him and explain.
ZUKO: I don't think it will help.
KATARA: It'll help some. And anyway, he knows Aang hasn't finished his training. Sokka would never jeopardize the war over this.
[Zuko continues to meditate. Katara waits for several moments, then lowers her eyes and turns to leave.]
ZUKO: That's the way it happened, isn't it.
KATARA: [looking back] What?
ZUKO: I made you think you had to. That's what happened.
KATARA: [groaning] Oh, come on. I'm already dealing with Sokka and Aang. Don't you start.
[Zuko remains still as the flames on the candles flicker and tremble. Katara's eyes widen.]
KATARA: You're serious.
ZUKO: It's like Toph said. What we saw up on stage was the truth.
KATARA: Zuko, stop it. You got me out of the prison hold weeks before we started... having tea. You didn't say what that stupid actor said.
ZUKO: Just because I didn't say it doesn't mean you didn't believe it.
[Katara sits on the edge of Zuko's bed.]
KATARA: If I believed those things, I wouldn't have given you my mother's necklace.
ZUKO: You won't take it back, though.
[Katara shifts uncomfortably. Zuko opens his eyes and looks over, focusing somewhere around Katara's feet.]
ZUKO: [quiet] Why, Katara? You hated me.
[Katara flushes and starts to pick at her fingernails.]
KATARA: I don't know. I thought we were still fighting. And I was bored-- [catching the expression on Zuko's face] --but I liked it. I kept doing it because I liked it.
ZUKO: Except you ran away the first chance you got.
KATARA: [incredulous] Of course I did. Just because I liked that doesn't mean I liked being a prisoner!
[If anything, Zuko looks more miserable. He swallows visibly.]
ZUKO: I'd stopped thinking of you as a prisoner.
KATARA: I hadn't.
ZUKO: Yeah. I know. But when it was just the two of us... [downcast] I wanted to make you happy.
KATARA: You can't make someone be happy.
ZUKO: I guess not.
[A gloomy minute passes. Finally Katara uncorks her water skin and pats the mattress.]
KATARA: Come here and let me fix that.
[Zuko gets off the floor and sits next to her on the bed. Katara wets her palms. Her hands begin to glow blue.]
KATARA: [examining Zuko's face] I can't believe Sokka got such a good hit.
ZUKO: I didn't try to stop him. [at Katara's raised eyebrow] Well, not the first time, anyway.
KATARA: You two tore up the theater.
ZUKO: I'll send the bill to the Palace.
[Katara brushes her fingers gently across Zuko's cheek. He closes his eyes. After a few strokes the purple bruises fade to red, then pale yellow, then disappear entirely.
Katara leans forward and kisses him. Zuko's eyes fly open, then quickly shut again as he responds, reaching up to touch her hair. Eventually Katara pulls away and stands.]
ZUKO: [in wonder] You didn't have to do that.
KATARA: You're right. I didn't.
[Katara exits. Zuko stares at the closed door, then leans back on his bed and waves his hand at the candles. The flames go out.]
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