The Definition of Want - Epilogue (Post A)
Title: The Definition of Want
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Edward, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst -- you know, all the good ones.
Warnings: Bad language and eventual sex.
Summary: You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all secretly wondered how that would go? Yeah. It's one of those. Set post-Eclipse. (Link to the beginning.)
banner courtesy of boredess
banner courtesy of leithalia
Epilogue Post A:
A/N: To my extreme annoyance, this turned out too long to fit in a single post. My apologies for any problems with flow. *grumble*
By the way -- thank you all for sticking with a story that shouldn't have worked. You guys are awesome, you seriously are, and I hope you like the ending of this short but strange little tale.
i like hammering nails and speaking in tongues / 'cause it doesn't remind me of anything
Audioslave, "Doesn't Remind Me"
A few weeks later, something ridiculous happened.
I had to go back to school.
I ranted and raved, shouting that I'd spent the summer killing other creatures with my teeth and claws, that I'd gone off on my own for days at a time, that I'd had my body crushed and mangled and survived, that I'd done... other things... that I was a man now, had experienced more than most people three times my age, and quite frankly, I didn't give a shit about Calculus anymore.
Billy listened patiently until I ran out of steam. Then he explained that since I was a man I was more than welcome to sleep in the woods and eat squirrels, but if I wanted to live under his roof, I was going to get my diploma.
I dug my backpack out from under my bed and registered for classes, grumbling the whole time.
***
I got a ride home from Paul two days after school started, since I was still a junior and only seniors could have parking spaces (not bitter), and as we approached I saw an ancient Ford Taurus in front of the house. "Oh, shit. Rachel's home."
Paul gave me a funny look. "I thought you liked her."
"I do," I replied, glaring at the car, "but I forgot she drove that hunk of junk." She'd probably need new breaks, and the muffler would be shot to hell... fuck. There went my weekend.
The front door opened as I hopped out of the car, and I barely heard, "Hey, dork!" before I was hit by a hug. Rachel looked up at me in astonishment. I didn't see her often enough to remember how much she looked like Mom, and it surprised me all over again. "Holy crapping Christ, you got huge. I thought you had your growth spurt already!"
"Had another one," I said weakly. Fuck. I'd have to find out whether or not Billy thought we should tell her about the whole wolf thing. It might lead to some questions about the, you know, vampire thing, and the treaty thing, and the war thing...
"I'd say so," Rachel said, stepping back a few feet to look me up and down. "Quit eating your Wheaties, or you're going to hit your head in every doorway in the state."
"Already do," I grumbled.
"And what happened to your hair?!"
"I cut it." Well, technically, Sam cut it. Out in the woods while Embry pinned me in place, when I was naked after my first transformation and shaking and covered in burrs and freaking the fuck out. "It, um, seemed like the thing to do."
"Riiiight." Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled my arm out straight, staring at my biceps. "You were skinny as a bean the last time I saw you. Where are you hiding all the gym equipment?"
"Uh... well..." I hesitated, glancing up at Billy as he rolled out onto the porch. He shook his head slightly. "It's just from all the mechanic work. Cars are heavy."
She narrowed her eyes. "You're telling me that you're bench pressing cars."
"Um..."
Rachel glanced to the side, then wrinkled her forehead. "Who's that? And why is he staring at me?"
I followed her gaze to where Paul was sitting behind the steering wheel, looking wide-eyed at Rachel. "That's Paul. Remember when Harry used to..." I trailed off, seeing the glassy expression in Paul's eyes, the flushed cheeks, the reverence--
--oh, fuck no. "Dude, that's my sister!" I yelled at him through the window, my voice going up an octave.
"Wow," Paul breathed.
Rachel glanced back and forth between us. "What the fuck is going on around here?"
On the porch, I heard Billy groan.
***
Rachel stayed for two weeks, and Paul hovered outside the house every damn day, no matter how many times Billy slammed the door in his face, no matter how many times I threatened to dismember him if he breathed a word about werewolves, vampires, or imprinting to Rachel. (There were no rules that could bind you when you found your other half, but there were no rules saying I couldn't beat the guy macking on my sister to a bloody pulp, either.) He wouldn't leave. Finally, I tentatively explained to Rachel what was happening, in very, very general terms -- namely, that Paul was really into the "love at first sight" thing, and was both incredibly stubborn and incredibly devoted. (And was also an asshole, but I left that part out. It sort of spoke for itself.)
"This is the stupidest shit ever," Rachel grumbled. "I don't even know the guy. We've met, like, once."
"Well, now he'll do anything for you. He'll be anything for you."
"Yeah, but--" Rachel cut off, then gave me a sideways look. "Anything? You really think so?"
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I nodded. "Yeah. Tell him to jump, and he'll ask how high."
Rachel smiled. "Oh, well then." And she walked out of the house to where Paul was sitting on the hood of his car with roses. I watched out the window as she took the flowers, sat down next to him, took his hand, and talked quietly for about five minutes. When she was done, Paul nodded, kissed her on the cheek (she smiled her 'I'm trying not to roll my eyes' smile), got in his car, and drove away.
"How did you do that?" I demanded when she came back inside.
"I told him," Rachel said, pulling a pitcher out from under the sink, "that what I wanted more than anything else in the world was a friend, and that I thought we would make the greatest BFFs ever. He was thrilled. We're going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean tomorrow night and drool over Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightley."
I blinked. "You're kidding. Was it really that easy?"
"Yep. Sometimes you just have to be direct." Rachel put the roses in the pitcher, then smiled at them. "You know, in his own fucked-up persistent way... he's actually kind of sweet."
When Leah heard about it, she congratulated Rachel on her brilliance... and then didn't speak to Emily for a month.
***
I fixed Rachel's car before she left (the muffler had indeed been shot to hell) and begged her to please, for the love of God, buy something other than a Taurus. She said she'd been thinking about getting a Volvo, but backed off after my resultant tirade.
She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek after she put her suitcase in the trunk. "I'll call more, okay? And I'll pester Becca to do the same."
I nodded.
"And..." Rachel hesitated, then said, "I haven't bugged you about this, 'cause Dad told me not to, but... cheer up, okay?"
"I'm cheerful," I said defensively.
"Not like you were," Rachel said, looking sad. "I should've kept a better eye on you, little bro. I'm sorry about that. I'll try and do better now. But still... I don't know what's wrong, but whatever it is, I promise, it'll be all right."
I smiled without feeling it. "If you say so. But I'm starting to think maybe it's not as easy as all that."
Rachel shook her head, then threw her arms around my neck and pulled me down into a hug. "I hate seeing you grow up," she said mournfully. "Stop it right now."
"Not possible, Rach."
"Yeah, I guess." She sighed. "Well, if nothing else, don't grow up any more. I don't even know what size clothes to buy you."
"Thirty-four waist, forty inseam," I said.
"Holy fuck."
"Yeah, I know. Hey, Rach? Do you remember if Mom made pancakes?"
Rachel brought her eyebrows together in confusion, then looked off into the distance for a long moment before shaking her head. "Maybe. I'm not sure. Why?"
I shrugged. "No reason."
Then she got in her car and drove away, waving as she went. And I felt a little better, all things considered.
***
I didn't lie awake every night. I didn't write emo poetry. I didn't listen to country songs and cry into my pillow.
But I missed Bella.
A lot.
***
As was traditional, in October we more or less moved into Charlie's to watch the baseball postseason his flat screen. Oakland flattened Minnesota only to lose to Detroit in the Championship series (as well they ought, the smug bastards), and the Cardinals and the Mets slugged it out, finishing out with a thoroughly anti-climactic World Series wherein the Cards quietly finished off the Tigers without any flourish.
Charlie and Billy kept talking like everything was the same, but Harry Clearwater was supposed to be sitting in the armchair and talking trash about the Yankees, so everything they said was just a little bit forced. I stuck around for the games, even though being in Bella's house hurt (I kept looking up and expecting to see her sprawled on the couch with an open European History book on her lap). It sucked, but it sucked worse for them -- Bella had left, but Harry was gone. I did my best to fill in, but it was like Sue's version of Harry's fish fry -- close, but still not quite right. Like it was trying to be something it wasn't.
That feeling made me sick these days.
One evening, during the seventh inning stretch, Charlie cornered me in the kitchen while I waited for a bag of popcorn to finish popping in the microwave. "So," he said, leaning on the counter, pretending to be interested in his beer.
"So." I was surprised it'd taken so long for him to talk to me, actually.
"How have you been, Jake?" he asked awkwardly.
I shrugged. "Okay." That was pretty much the truth. I was okay. Not good, not bad, but okay.
Charlie looked at me for a long moment, and I couldn't read his expression at all. Then he sighed, shook his head, and took a long drink of his beer. "Well," he remarked finally, "could've been worse, I guess." Then he went back into the living room without another word.
He had no idea how true that was.
***
I was the first one to stop phasing. Jared followed soon after, then Embry, then everyone else. The threats were gone and we were all tired. The only ones who kept it up regularly were Quil (who wanted to remain young for Claire) and Seth (who had gone from happy-go-lucky kid to moody teenager almost overnight, and couldn't control his temper enough to keep the wolf at bay). Sam quit cold turkey the day Emily told him she was pregnant. "Nothing is worth the risk," he said. I could understand that.
Aside from Sam and I, though, everyone made exceptions for the monthly competitions of the Werewolf Ultimate Frisbee League. They were indeed fucking epic.
***
Christmas came. Emily threw a party, I think because the previous year had been such a mess, with half of us as wolves and the other half of us ostracized and confused as hell. It was time for a celebration, but it still felt off to me. Like something was missing. (Gee, I wonder what it could have been.)
I was hiding out on the porch, staring out at the flurries starting to accumulate on the lawn, when I heard a "Hey." Leah sat down on the step next to me and pulled out a cigarette.
"You should probably stop smoking those," I remarked. "Your lungs aren't going to heal quite so fast if you're not phasing."
Leah rolled her eyes as she flicked her lighter. "Thanks, Doc." She took a deep drag, held it for a moment, then blew a stream of smoke out into the night. "It's twenty fucking degrees out here and we're both in short sleeves. I think we're still wolf enough that I don't need to worry about my lungs."
"Suit yourself," I shrugged.
Leah was silent for a moment, then, with an awkward movement, handed me a CD. "Here. Merry Christmas."
I blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks." I turned the case over in my hands: The Greatest Hits of Journey. I barked out a laugh. "Thanks, Leah."
"You're welcome."
I looked over at her guiltily. Her face was barely lit by the tip of her cigarette. "I, uh, didn't get you anything."
She shrugged. "I didn't think you would. You've got lots of people to get presents for. I just needed to get stuff for Mom and Seth, so I had some money left over. Saw that in the store, figured you'd like it."
"You didn't have to--"
"I know I didn't," she snapped. "But you're kind of my only friend at the moment, and I wanted to, so I did. Now shut up."
I swallowed. Fuck. "I'll get you something for your birthday, then."
"You're underage," Leah said, snorting. "You can't get me anything I want."
"I guess."
Behind us, the noises of the party were muffled by the windows and doors. Based on the lack of chatter, though, I figured Emily had probably gotten out her pies. Her belly was beginning to show.
"Still waiting?" Leah asked conversationally.
I sighed and my breath fogged the air. "Yep." I thought about the Christmas present I'd gotten for Bella, just in case she came home for the holidays. She hadn't, so I'd hidden it under a pile of boxes in the garage. "But I might stop."
"Don't want to anymore?"
"No, I still want to," I said wearily. "I'm just wondering if I shouldn't."
Leah looked at me sideways, then made a little dismissive motion with her hand. "Do what you're going to do. I told you that you ought to fuck some other chicks to clear your head. It might help."
"Yeah." I'd been starting to think that myself. The fact that I was starting to get really, really lonely had a lot to do with it. Then I glanced at Leah. "You shouldn't wait either, you know."
She stiffened instantly. "I'm not waiting."
"Uh-huh."
She turned sideways on the stoop and glared at me so furiously I was surprised I didn't burst into flames. "I. Am. Not. Waiting. You think I don't know that Emily's about to drop Sam's puppy? I get it. I'm not waiting."
"Sure," I said. "Whatever you say."
Leah narrowed her eyes, then leaned forward and kissed me.
I remained motionless, eyes open, too stunned for words. But Leah's mouth moved against mine, and her lips were smoky but she really knew what she was doing, and I found myself reaching up to touch her face, responding out of instinct. Kind of. There was nothing wrong with it, but...
After a minute, Leah pulled away. She regarded me for a long moment, then shook her head and brought her cigarette back to her lips. "That was like making out with Seth," she said disgustedly.
"Yeah," I said, blinking. "It was."
She whapped me on the back of the head with the flat of her palm, and we sat watching the snow in companionable silence until the party was over.
***
In February Stephanie Winters asked me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance, and I said yes. We had a decent time -- she had a good sense of humor, particularly about our hopelessly inexperienced makeout session over a year ago -- and when she went down on me in her father's van I came like a rocket. For the next week whenever I jerked off I tried to imagine Stephanie's lips and tongue, but it always ended with Bella pushing her hair out of her face. I came to the conclusion that I'd better stay celibate until I could be sure I'd call out the right name.
I didn't go out with Stephanie again, but she had a good sense of humor about that, too. She asked me if I would set her up with Embry, and Embry spent the next two months greeting me with a full-body hug every time we saw each other.
***
The Rabbit was long finished, even to the extent that I kept breaking it, I didn't really want to work on the motorcycles, and I didn't have any repair jobs set up. So I harassed Billy for weeks until he loaned me five hundred dollars, which I took to the junkyard and used to buy three separate scrap-metal-worthy Chevy Cavaliers (the most generic creations in the history of automobiles). Then I towed them home and started ripping them apart. It would be a couple months of work to reassemble the pieces into one functional car, but it would be good work, interesting work, and if I got a decent return on it, maybe I could finally convince my father to let me pay for a fucking internet connection. (There was being technology-resistant and then there was being a stubborn old coot, and Billy was rapidly descending into the latter category.)
It kept me busy. It kept me from focusing on how hard-up I was. But it was also fun.
***
The April rains were thundering hard on the roof of the garage as I pulled out the second Chevy's coolant system, which is probably why I didn't hear her come in until she said, "Hi, Jake."
My hand slipped and the needle-nosed pliers cut a greasy scrape into my palm. "Fuck!" I yanked my hand out of the engine and straightened up, wincing as my blood mixed with the oil.
Bella dropped her bag and coat and ran to my side, pulling at my hand. "Oh, Jake, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She watched as the slice healed literally before her eyes, then shook her head in bemusement. "All right, stupid question."
Bella.
I swept her up and into a hug before she could object, crushing her little body against mine. We still fit. "Jake!" she cried as I spun her around, and I felt her laugh against my ribs. "Jake, put me down, you're getting wet."
I reluctantly set her back on her feet, and glanced down at my front. Her hair, soaked from the rain, had left a giant splotch against my shirt. "Worth it," I grinned. And I took her in.
She looked... different. Not lots different, but a little. Her hair was a few inches longer, and even though her milky white skin hadn't tanned, it seemed a little... warmer. She'd regained the weight she'd lost and it brought back her natural softness. The circles under her eyes were gone, and there was something... it took me a second to realize that she didn't look like she was about to cry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her when she didn't look like she was about to cry.
Whatever she was doing, it was working.
Bella waited for me to stop staring, nervously fidgeting with the edge of her shirt. Once I smiled and nodded in approval, her skin tinted with the pink flush that I knew reached all the way to her belly button. "Is this your new project?" she said, clearing her throat and looking at the Chevy. "Seems a little... pedestrian for you."
I gave her a withering look. "I've got two others just like it. Take three jigsaw puzzles with a bunch of pieces missing, mix them up, then reassemble them and tell me it's pedestrian."
"Sorry, sorry," Bella said, her lips quirking. "I didn't mean to insult your clearly awe-inspiring collection of decrepit Cavaliers."
I snorted. "They won't be awe-inspiring when I'm done, either. But one of them will run, and that's what matters."
She sat down in her usual spot on the work bench. "You know you're becoming one of those people who keep a pile of rusted hunks of junk on cinder blocks in their front yard, right? You're going to have to get a mangy dog to complete the look."
"Bella, I am the mangy dog."
She laughed, and my heart started thundering in my chest. I still loved her... as though that was any surprise. For a moment I just looked at her, until she blushed and glanced away. Okay, too much. "So," I said, clearing my throat, "how's Phoenix?"
"It's okay," she said, shrugging. "I'm taking some literature classes. Working in the school bookstore. Hanging out at home and watching soap operas."
"Sounds boring," I said.
She nodded. "It is. But I really needed a little bit of boring."
"True. Making friends?" Do you have a boyfriend?
Bella smiled, and it was kind of sad. "Not really, no." When I raised my eyebrows, she added, "The people are nice, don't get me wrong. I've got study partners and stuff. We hang out. But..." she trailed off, clearly looking for the right words, then finally shrugged. "None of them have ever seen anyone decapitated, you know? It's kind of hard to relate."
I sighed. "Yeah. I know." At least I still had the Pack around. If I'd just lived through everything and then been alone, with no one else who knew... I'd lose my fucking mind. Normal was gone, and it wasn't coming back.
After a melancholy moment, Bella shook herself and looked out the garage door at the downpour beating the grass flat. "Besides, I missed the rain."
I blinked. "You're kidding."
"Nope." She shook her head. "Believe it or not, it grew on me. I got such awful dry skin my first month there that I almost just packed it up and came back home." I tried not to grin when she called Forks home. "But..." She shook her head again. "I stayed. I needed to stay."
"So why are you here now?" I asked.
She smiled slightly, her wistful Bella smile. "It's spring break. I spent Christmas with Renee, so I decided to come see Charlie."
"No," I said. "I mean, why are you here now."
Bella looked up at me for a long moment, her eyes still brown (oh please God), then dropped her eyes to the floor. "I... I told Edward goodbye last night," she said, and there was the Bella that was close to tears. "He deserved to hear it in person. It was... hard." Her voice choked slightly on the last word.
My blood froze. "And," I said, somehow managing to form the words, "are you here to tell me goodbye, too?"
She bit her lip, then shook her head no.
The pliers fell from my nerveless hands and hit the floor with a clang.
We both jerked at the noise, then Bella laughed, breaking the tension. "Smooth."
"Uh-huh," I grumbled, picking the pliers back up, trying to hold back the huge grin that was threatening to erupt.
"Jacob..." Bella said, looking up at me. She was nervous, but calm. Older, maybe. But still my Bells. "Just because I've said goodbye to Edward doesn't mean that you and I... I still need to think about that part. You know... as a separate thing. I'm going back to Phoenix tomorrow to finish out the semester. I just..." She faltered for a moment, glanced away, then met my eyes again. "I wanted to know if you were still waiting. Not that I expect you to, but... if you are... I was hoping you could wait just a little bit longer. Not forever. Just... a little bit longer."
I nodded, keeping a straight face as happiness filled my whole body and made my toes tingle. It was already done, even though she didn't realize it. She was so good at lying to herself. "I am. And I will."
Her face broke out in sudden sunny smile that couldn't possibly be appreciated in Phoenix where it was always sunny. "You're inhumanly patient, you know," she said.
"Being inhuman probably has something to do with it," I pointed out. "So... can you hang out for the afternoon?"
Bella shook her head reluctantly. "No. I'm only here for a couple days and I really need to spend them with Charlie. I think he missed my cooking."
"He missed you," I corrected.
She sighed. "Yeah. I missed him too, actually. I have to... try to explain things a little. Not everything," she clarified, "but... more explanation than I gave him last summer. I just kind of up and left without a lot of warning. I felt terrible about it."
"He was okay, Bells," I said. "He missed you, but he was okay. We all were."
Bella smiled. "I'm glad." She looked at me for a long moment, and something dusty but familiar started to uncurl in my stomach-- then she coughed awkwardly. "Anyway, I really can't stay. I have to go. I guess I could've just called, but I just... I wanted to..." She blushed red. "I'll see you soon, okay?"
I felt like I was going to explode, except in a good way, not in a going-to-have-to-buy-new-shoes-again way. "Okay. See you soon."
She picked up her raincoat, then smacked herself on the head. "Oh. Stupid. Here, I brought this for you." She handed me a brown paper bag. When I took it, she smirked. "Open it."
Inside was a bottle of water and a sandwich. The sandwich had some kind of pink spread on it. "Do I want to know?" I asked, turning it over a couple of times.
"Nope."
I shrugged and took a bite -- and almost gagged. "Shit!" I mumbled around the mouthful as my eyes started to water. "Hot!"
"I should think so," Bella said smugly. "It's mayonnaise and cayenne pepper."
My throat burned like fuck as I swallowed. "How much cayenne?"
"A couple of tablespoons."
I nodded, steeled myself, and took another bite. Ow ow ow ow ow...
Bella stared at me open-mouthed. "Oh, come on. I thought about that one for a month."
My tongue hurt too much to speak, so I just shrugged and kept chewing.
She rolled her eyes, took the sandwich from my hands, and replaced it with the bottle. "Here. Drink this."
I gulped down the water in two swallows. "Does this mean you're giving up?" I said finally, trying to move my tongue in a way that didn't sting.
Bella narrowed her eyes. "No. I just need to keep thinking, that's all. I'll win this yet, Jacob Black. Just wait."
"I will." I grinned, then-- oh, right! "Hey, I've got something for you too." I turned around and started digging through the pile of empty cardboard boxes. At the bottom was Bella's present. "Merry Christmas in April," I said, handing it to her.
She took the box, eyes widening in surprise at its weight, and looked at how the red paper was held onto the side with most of a roll of packing tape. "You wrapped this yourself, didn't you."
"Yes," I said defensively. When she shook her head, I crossed my arms and said, "Okay, so I can't wrap presents. I'd like to see you flush a transmission."
"Okay, okay. Can I open it?"
"Sure."
Bella set down the package on the bench and eagerly tore it open. She stopped once she saw the label, and the smile dropped from her face. "You... you got me a space heater?"
"Well... yeah." I suddenly felt awkward. It'd seemed like a good idea at the time. "I mean, you're in Phoenix so I know it's warm and stuff, but then I remembered that the desert's supposed to be really cold at night or something, so I thought you might want--" I stopped speaking abruptly when Bella stepped forward and threw her arms around my shoulders, burying her face in my neck. I rested my cheek against her head and breathed in the smell of her hair. I had missed her so much.
Then she was kissing me, and oh fuck, I'd missed that too.
Fire shot through me as my hands instinctually left her back to slide down to her ass, lifting her higher against me, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, trying to climb up my body, pressing against the growing bulge in my shorts, her fingers going to my hair. She was still soft and warm and smelled the same, and if nothing else, now I knew she would always smell the same, she would never be a marble statue, and that made everything worth it.
Her mouth opened and her tongue slid against my lips. I moaned as I responded in kind, and she suddenly jerked away like she'd been shot with an electric current. Her whole body stiffened and her legs dropped back to the ground, her hands shoving at my chest. I let go instantly. Shit. "Sorry, Bells, I just--"
Bella hopped around, her fingers over her mouth. "Fuck!" she swore. "Pepper! Ow ow ow ow ow!"
I burst out laughing, relief flooding through me. "It's your own damn fault, honey."
She pulled up the front of her shirt and wiped her tongue against the collar. "Agh," she said, grimacing. "That hurt." Then she glared at me. "Stop laughing."
"No," I managed, chuckling. I dodged when she tried to smack me.
Bella rolled her eyes as she picked up her jacket. "Okay. You're a jerk and I'm going home."
I watched the way her fingers moved over the buttons, remembering how they'd unbuttoned her ladybug pajamas. "You can't stay for a little while longer?" I said.
She paused, and looked at me in a way that made me burn all over. Then squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "No." When she opened her eyes and saw my face, she gave me a sheepish smile. "I already know we do that well, okay? That's not in question."
"You sure you don't need me to prove it again?" I offered. "Because I'm perfectly willing to remind you."
She groaned, half exasperated, half something else. "That's... tempting. But no."
I huffed in mock-annoyance. I hadn't really expected her to say yes, but hell, a guy can hope. "Okay, fine."
Bella bit her lip, then gave me a serious look. "Two months, okay? Give me two more months. I'll be back in June. I'll tell you then."
You've already decided, I wanted to tell her. But apparently Bella needed to do things in her own time. And two months wasn't that long, all things considered, even if my body felt otherwise. "Okay," I said. "You know where to find me."
"Yeah," she said softly. "I know." She picked up her space heater and smiled at it. "Thanks for the present, Jake."
"No problem," I said. "You'll understand if I don't thank you for the sandwich?"
She giggled. "I understand. Bye, Jake."
"Bye, Bells."
Easy as breathing.
Once I heard the truck start in the yard, I went back to work on the Chevy, whistling happily.
***
"Was that Bella Swan I saw driving in the opposite direction?" Billy demanded when he got home fifteen minutes later, not even bothering to say 'hi' first.
"Probably," I said as I lifted him out of the truck and into his chair. "I don't know any other albinos in town who own our old pickup, do you?"
"Uh-huh." Billy gave me a long look as he settled into his chair. "How is she?"
"She's good."
"And how are you?"
I just smiled.
Billy was silent for a long moment, then shook his head. "People always said it was the teenage daughters that would give me gray hairs," he muttered as he rolled into the house.
***
Epilogue Post B: Wherein a lot of brain damage is inflicted and Jacob plans modifications to Bella's truck.
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: M
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Edward, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Humor/Angst -- you know, all the good ones.
Warnings: Bad language and eventual sex.
Summary: You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all secretly wondered how that would go? Yeah. It's one of those. Set post-Eclipse. (Link to the beginning.)
banner courtesy of boredess
banner courtesy of leithalia
Epilogue Post A:
A/N: To my extreme annoyance, this turned out too long to fit in a single post. My apologies for any problems with flow. *grumble*
By the way -- thank you all for sticking with a story that shouldn't have worked. You guys are awesome, you seriously are, and I hope you like the ending of this short but strange little tale.
i like hammering nails and speaking in tongues / 'cause it doesn't remind me of anything
Audioslave, "Doesn't Remind Me"
A few weeks later, something ridiculous happened.
I had to go back to school.
I ranted and raved, shouting that I'd spent the summer killing other creatures with my teeth and claws, that I'd gone off on my own for days at a time, that I'd had my body crushed and mangled and survived, that I'd done... other things... that I was a man now, had experienced more than most people three times my age, and quite frankly, I didn't give a shit about Calculus anymore.
Billy listened patiently until I ran out of steam. Then he explained that since I was a man I was more than welcome to sleep in the woods and eat squirrels, but if I wanted to live under his roof, I was going to get my diploma.
I dug my backpack out from under my bed and registered for classes, grumbling the whole time.
***
I got a ride home from Paul two days after school started, since I was still a junior and only seniors could have parking spaces (not bitter), and as we approached I saw an ancient Ford Taurus in front of the house. "Oh, shit. Rachel's home."
Paul gave me a funny look. "I thought you liked her."
"I do," I replied, glaring at the car, "but I forgot she drove that hunk of junk." She'd probably need new breaks, and the muffler would be shot to hell... fuck. There went my weekend.
The front door opened as I hopped out of the car, and I barely heard, "Hey, dork!" before I was hit by a hug. Rachel looked up at me in astonishment. I didn't see her often enough to remember how much she looked like Mom, and it surprised me all over again. "Holy crapping Christ, you got huge. I thought you had your growth spurt already!"
"Had another one," I said weakly. Fuck. I'd have to find out whether or not Billy thought we should tell her about the whole wolf thing. It might lead to some questions about the, you know, vampire thing, and the treaty thing, and the war thing...
"I'd say so," Rachel said, stepping back a few feet to look me up and down. "Quit eating your Wheaties, or you're going to hit your head in every doorway in the state."
"Already do," I grumbled.
"And what happened to your hair?!"
"I cut it." Well, technically, Sam cut it. Out in the woods while Embry pinned me in place, when I was naked after my first transformation and shaking and covered in burrs and freaking the fuck out. "It, um, seemed like the thing to do."
"Riiiight." Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled my arm out straight, staring at my biceps. "You were skinny as a bean the last time I saw you. Where are you hiding all the gym equipment?"
"Uh... well..." I hesitated, glancing up at Billy as he rolled out onto the porch. He shook his head slightly. "It's just from all the mechanic work. Cars are heavy."
She narrowed her eyes. "You're telling me that you're bench pressing cars."
"Um..."
Rachel glanced to the side, then wrinkled her forehead. "Who's that? And why is he staring at me?"
I followed her gaze to where Paul was sitting behind the steering wheel, looking wide-eyed at Rachel. "That's Paul. Remember when Harry used to..." I trailed off, seeing the glassy expression in Paul's eyes, the flushed cheeks, the reverence--
--oh, fuck no. "Dude, that's my sister!" I yelled at him through the window, my voice going up an octave.
"Wow," Paul breathed.
Rachel glanced back and forth between us. "What the fuck is going on around here?"
On the porch, I heard Billy groan.
***
Rachel stayed for two weeks, and Paul hovered outside the house every damn day, no matter how many times Billy slammed the door in his face, no matter how many times I threatened to dismember him if he breathed a word about werewolves, vampires, or imprinting to Rachel. (There were no rules that could bind you when you found your other half, but there were no rules saying I couldn't beat the guy macking on my sister to a bloody pulp, either.) He wouldn't leave. Finally, I tentatively explained to Rachel what was happening, in very, very general terms -- namely, that Paul was really into the "love at first sight" thing, and was both incredibly stubborn and incredibly devoted. (And was also an asshole, but I left that part out. It sort of spoke for itself.)
"This is the stupidest shit ever," Rachel grumbled. "I don't even know the guy. We've met, like, once."
"Well, now he'll do anything for you. He'll be anything for you."
"Yeah, but--" Rachel cut off, then gave me a sideways look. "Anything? You really think so?"
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I nodded. "Yeah. Tell him to jump, and he'll ask how high."
Rachel smiled. "Oh, well then." And she walked out of the house to where Paul was sitting on the hood of his car with roses. I watched out the window as she took the flowers, sat down next to him, took his hand, and talked quietly for about five minutes. When she was done, Paul nodded, kissed her on the cheek (she smiled her 'I'm trying not to roll my eyes' smile), got in his car, and drove away.
"How did you do that?" I demanded when she came back inside.
"I told him," Rachel said, pulling a pitcher out from under the sink, "that what I wanted more than anything else in the world was a friend, and that I thought we would make the greatest BFFs ever. He was thrilled. We're going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean tomorrow night and drool over Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightley."
I blinked. "You're kidding. Was it really that easy?"
"Yep. Sometimes you just have to be direct." Rachel put the roses in the pitcher, then smiled at them. "You know, in his own fucked-up persistent way... he's actually kind of sweet."
When Leah heard about it, she congratulated Rachel on her brilliance... and then didn't speak to Emily for a month.
***
I fixed Rachel's car before she left (the muffler had indeed been shot to hell) and begged her to please, for the love of God, buy something other than a Taurus. She said she'd been thinking about getting a Volvo, but backed off after my resultant tirade.
She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek after she put her suitcase in the trunk. "I'll call more, okay? And I'll pester Becca to do the same."
I nodded.
"And..." Rachel hesitated, then said, "I haven't bugged you about this, 'cause Dad told me not to, but... cheer up, okay?"
"I'm cheerful," I said defensively.
"Not like you were," Rachel said, looking sad. "I should've kept a better eye on you, little bro. I'm sorry about that. I'll try and do better now. But still... I don't know what's wrong, but whatever it is, I promise, it'll be all right."
I smiled without feeling it. "If you say so. But I'm starting to think maybe it's not as easy as all that."
Rachel shook her head, then threw her arms around my neck and pulled me down into a hug. "I hate seeing you grow up," she said mournfully. "Stop it right now."
"Not possible, Rach."
"Yeah, I guess." She sighed. "Well, if nothing else, don't grow up any more. I don't even know what size clothes to buy you."
"Thirty-four waist, forty inseam," I said.
"Holy fuck."
"Yeah, I know. Hey, Rach? Do you remember if Mom made pancakes?"
Rachel brought her eyebrows together in confusion, then looked off into the distance for a long moment before shaking her head. "Maybe. I'm not sure. Why?"
I shrugged. "No reason."
Then she got in her car and drove away, waving as she went. And I felt a little better, all things considered.
***
I didn't lie awake every night. I didn't write emo poetry. I didn't listen to country songs and cry into my pillow.
But I missed Bella.
A lot.
***
As was traditional, in October we more or less moved into Charlie's to watch the baseball postseason his flat screen. Oakland flattened Minnesota only to lose to Detroit in the Championship series (as well they ought, the smug bastards), and the Cardinals and the Mets slugged it out, finishing out with a thoroughly anti-climactic World Series wherein the Cards quietly finished off the Tigers without any flourish.
Charlie and Billy kept talking like everything was the same, but Harry Clearwater was supposed to be sitting in the armchair and talking trash about the Yankees, so everything they said was just a little bit forced. I stuck around for the games, even though being in Bella's house hurt (I kept looking up and expecting to see her sprawled on the couch with an open European History book on her lap). It sucked, but it sucked worse for them -- Bella had left, but Harry was gone. I did my best to fill in, but it was like Sue's version of Harry's fish fry -- close, but still not quite right. Like it was trying to be something it wasn't.
That feeling made me sick these days.
One evening, during the seventh inning stretch, Charlie cornered me in the kitchen while I waited for a bag of popcorn to finish popping in the microwave. "So," he said, leaning on the counter, pretending to be interested in his beer.
"So." I was surprised it'd taken so long for him to talk to me, actually.
"How have you been, Jake?" he asked awkwardly.
I shrugged. "Okay." That was pretty much the truth. I was okay. Not good, not bad, but okay.
Charlie looked at me for a long moment, and I couldn't read his expression at all. Then he sighed, shook his head, and took a long drink of his beer. "Well," he remarked finally, "could've been worse, I guess." Then he went back into the living room without another word.
He had no idea how true that was.
***
I was the first one to stop phasing. Jared followed soon after, then Embry, then everyone else. The threats were gone and we were all tired. The only ones who kept it up regularly were Quil (who wanted to remain young for Claire) and Seth (who had gone from happy-go-lucky kid to moody teenager almost overnight, and couldn't control his temper enough to keep the wolf at bay). Sam quit cold turkey the day Emily told him she was pregnant. "Nothing is worth the risk," he said. I could understand that.
Aside from Sam and I, though, everyone made exceptions for the monthly competitions of the Werewolf Ultimate Frisbee League. They were indeed fucking epic.
***
Christmas came. Emily threw a party, I think because the previous year had been such a mess, with half of us as wolves and the other half of us ostracized and confused as hell. It was time for a celebration, but it still felt off to me. Like something was missing. (Gee, I wonder what it could have been.)
I was hiding out on the porch, staring out at the flurries starting to accumulate on the lawn, when I heard a "Hey." Leah sat down on the step next to me and pulled out a cigarette.
"You should probably stop smoking those," I remarked. "Your lungs aren't going to heal quite so fast if you're not phasing."
Leah rolled her eyes as she flicked her lighter. "Thanks, Doc." She took a deep drag, held it for a moment, then blew a stream of smoke out into the night. "It's twenty fucking degrees out here and we're both in short sleeves. I think we're still wolf enough that I don't need to worry about my lungs."
"Suit yourself," I shrugged.
Leah was silent for a moment, then, with an awkward movement, handed me a CD. "Here. Merry Christmas."
I blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks." I turned the case over in my hands: The Greatest Hits of Journey. I barked out a laugh. "Thanks, Leah."
"You're welcome."
I looked over at her guiltily. Her face was barely lit by the tip of her cigarette. "I, uh, didn't get you anything."
She shrugged. "I didn't think you would. You've got lots of people to get presents for. I just needed to get stuff for Mom and Seth, so I had some money left over. Saw that in the store, figured you'd like it."
"You didn't have to--"
"I know I didn't," she snapped. "But you're kind of my only friend at the moment, and I wanted to, so I did. Now shut up."
I swallowed. Fuck. "I'll get you something for your birthday, then."
"You're underage," Leah said, snorting. "You can't get me anything I want."
"I guess."
Behind us, the noises of the party were muffled by the windows and doors. Based on the lack of chatter, though, I figured Emily had probably gotten out her pies. Her belly was beginning to show.
"Still waiting?" Leah asked conversationally.
I sighed and my breath fogged the air. "Yep." I thought about the Christmas present I'd gotten for Bella, just in case she came home for the holidays. She hadn't, so I'd hidden it under a pile of boxes in the garage. "But I might stop."
"Don't want to anymore?"
"No, I still want to," I said wearily. "I'm just wondering if I shouldn't."
Leah looked at me sideways, then made a little dismissive motion with her hand. "Do what you're going to do. I told you that you ought to fuck some other chicks to clear your head. It might help."
"Yeah." I'd been starting to think that myself. The fact that I was starting to get really, really lonely had a lot to do with it. Then I glanced at Leah. "You shouldn't wait either, you know."
She stiffened instantly. "I'm not waiting."
"Uh-huh."
She turned sideways on the stoop and glared at me so furiously I was surprised I didn't burst into flames. "I. Am. Not. Waiting. You think I don't know that Emily's about to drop Sam's puppy? I get it. I'm not waiting."
"Sure," I said. "Whatever you say."
Leah narrowed her eyes, then leaned forward and kissed me.
I remained motionless, eyes open, too stunned for words. But Leah's mouth moved against mine, and her lips were smoky but she really knew what she was doing, and I found myself reaching up to touch her face, responding out of instinct. Kind of. There was nothing wrong with it, but...
After a minute, Leah pulled away. She regarded me for a long moment, then shook her head and brought her cigarette back to her lips. "That was like making out with Seth," she said disgustedly.
"Yeah," I said, blinking. "It was."
She whapped me on the back of the head with the flat of her palm, and we sat watching the snow in companionable silence until the party was over.
***
In February Stephanie Winters asked me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance, and I said yes. We had a decent time -- she had a good sense of humor, particularly about our hopelessly inexperienced makeout session over a year ago -- and when she went down on me in her father's van I came like a rocket. For the next week whenever I jerked off I tried to imagine Stephanie's lips and tongue, but it always ended with Bella pushing her hair out of her face. I came to the conclusion that I'd better stay celibate until I could be sure I'd call out the right name.
I didn't go out with Stephanie again, but she had a good sense of humor about that, too. She asked me if I would set her up with Embry, and Embry spent the next two months greeting me with a full-body hug every time we saw each other.
***
The Rabbit was long finished, even to the extent that I kept breaking it, I didn't really want to work on the motorcycles, and I didn't have any repair jobs set up. So I harassed Billy for weeks until he loaned me five hundred dollars, which I took to the junkyard and used to buy three separate scrap-metal-worthy Chevy Cavaliers (the most generic creations in the history of automobiles). Then I towed them home and started ripping them apart. It would be a couple months of work to reassemble the pieces into one functional car, but it would be good work, interesting work, and if I got a decent return on it, maybe I could finally convince my father to let me pay for a fucking internet connection. (There was being technology-resistant and then there was being a stubborn old coot, and Billy was rapidly descending into the latter category.)
It kept me busy. It kept me from focusing on how hard-up I was. But it was also fun.
***
The April rains were thundering hard on the roof of the garage as I pulled out the second Chevy's coolant system, which is probably why I didn't hear her come in until she said, "Hi, Jake."
My hand slipped and the needle-nosed pliers cut a greasy scrape into my palm. "Fuck!" I yanked my hand out of the engine and straightened up, wincing as my blood mixed with the oil.
Bella dropped her bag and coat and ran to my side, pulling at my hand. "Oh, Jake, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She watched as the slice healed literally before her eyes, then shook her head in bemusement. "All right, stupid question."
Bella.
I swept her up and into a hug before she could object, crushing her little body against mine. We still fit. "Jake!" she cried as I spun her around, and I felt her laugh against my ribs. "Jake, put me down, you're getting wet."
I reluctantly set her back on her feet, and glanced down at my front. Her hair, soaked from the rain, had left a giant splotch against my shirt. "Worth it," I grinned. And I took her in.
She looked... different. Not lots different, but a little. Her hair was a few inches longer, and even though her milky white skin hadn't tanned, it seemed a little... warmer. She'd regained the weight she'd lost and it brought back her natural softness. The circles under her eyes were gone, and there was something... it took me a second to realize that she didn't look like she was about to cry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her when she didn't look like she was about to cry.
Whatever she was doing, it was working.
Bella waited for me to stop staring, nervously fidgeting with the edge of her shirt. Once I smiled and nodded in approval, her skin tinted with the pink flush that I knew reached all the way to her belly button. "Is this your new project?" she said, clearing her throat and looking at the Chevy. "Seems a little... pedestrian for you."
I gave her a withering look. "I've got two others just like it. Take three jigsaw puzzles with a bunch of pieces missing, mix them up, then reassemble them and tell me it's pedestrian."
"Sorry, sorry," Bella said, her lips quirking. "I didn't mean to insult your clearly awe-inspiring collection of decrepit Cavaliers."
I snorted. "They won't be awe-inspiring when I'm done, either. But one of them will run, and that's what matters."
She sat down in her usual spot on the work bench. "You know you're becoming one of those people who keep a pile of rusted hunks of junk on cinder blocks in their front yard, right? You're going to have to get a mangy dog to complete the look."
"Bella, I am the mangy dog."
She laughed, and my heart started thundering in my chest. I still loved her... as though that was any surprise. For a moment I just looked at her, until she blushed and glanced away. Okay, too much. "So," I said, clearing my throat, "how's Phoenix?"
"It's okay," she said, shrugging. "I'm taking some literature classes. Working in the school bookstore. Hanging out at home and watching soap operas."
"Sounds boring," I said.
She nodded. "It is. But I really needed a little bit of boring."
"True. Making friends?" Do you have a boyfriend?
Bella smiled, and it was kind of sad. "Not really, no." When I raised my eyebrows, she added, "The people are nice, don't get me wrong. I've got study partners and stuff. We hang out. But..." she trailed off, clearly looking for the right words, then finally shrugged. "None of them have ever seen anyone decapitated, you know? It's kind of hard to relate."
I sighed. "Yeah. I know." At least I still had the Pack around. If I'd just lived through everything and then been alone, with no one else who knew... I'd lose my fucking mind. Normal was gone, and it wasn't coming back.
After a melancholy moment, Bella shook herself and looked out the garage door at the downpour beating the grass flat. "Besides, I missed the rain."
I blinked. "You're kidding."
"Nope." She shook her head. "Believe it or not, it grew on me. I got such awful dry skin my first month there that I almost just packed it up and came back home." I tried not to grin when she called Forks home. "But..." She shook her head again. "I stayed. I needed to stay."
"So why are you here now?" I asked.
She smiled slightly, her wistful Bella smile. "It's spring break. I spent Christmas with Renee, so I decided to come see Charlie."
"No," I said. "I mean, why are you here now."
Bella looked up at me for a long moment, her eyes still brown (oh please God), then dropped her eyes to the floor. "I... I told Edward goodbye last night," she said, and there was the Bella that was close to tears. "He deserved to hear it in person. It was... hard." Her voice choked slightly on the last word.
My blood froze. "And," I said, somehow managing to form the words, "are you here to tell me goodbye, too?"
She bit her lip, then shook her head no.
The pliers fell from my nerveless hands and hit the floor with a clang.
We both jerked at the noise, then Bella laughed, breaking the tension. "Smooth."
"Uh-huh," I grumbled, picking the pliers back up, trying to hold back the huge grin that was threatening to erupt.
"Jacob..." Bella said, looking up at me. She was nervous, but calm. Older, maybe. But still my Bells. "Just because I've said goodbye to Edward doesn't mean that you and I... I still need to think about that part. You know... as a separate thing. I'm going back to Phoenix tomorrow to finish out the semester. I just..." She faltered for a moment, glanced away, then met my eyes again. "I wanted to know if you were still waiting. Not that I expect you to, but... if you are... I was hoping you could wait just a little bit longer. Not forever. Just... a little bit longer."
I nodded, keeping a straight face as happiness filled my whole body and made my toes tingle. It was already done, even though she didn't realize it. She was so good at lying to herself. "I am. And I will."
Her face broke out in sudden sunny smile that couldn't possibly be appreciated in Phoenix where it was always sunny. "You're inhumanly patient, you know," she said.
"Being inhuman probably has something to do with it," I pointed out. "So... can you hang out for the afternoon?"
Bella shook her head reluctantly. "No. I'm only here for a couple days and I really need to spend them with Charlie. I think he missed my cooking."
"He missed you," I corrected.
She sighed. "Yeah. I missed him too, actually. I have to... try to explain things a little. Not everything," she clarified, "but... more explanation than I gave him last summer. I just kind of up and left without a lot of warning. I felt terrible about it."
"He was okay, Bells," I said. "He missed you, but he was okay. We all were."
Bella smiled. "I'm glad." She looked at me for a long moment, and something dusty but familiar started to uncurl in my stomach-- then she coughed awkwardly. "Anyway, I really can't stay. I have to go. I guess I could've just called, but I just... I wanted to..." She blushed red. "I'll see you soon, okay?"
I felt like I was going to explode, except in a good way, not in a going-to-have-to-buy-new-shoes-again way. "Okay. See you soon."
She picked up her raincoat, then smacked herself on the head. "Oh. Stupid. Here, I brought this for you." She handed me a brown paper bag. When I took it, she smirked. "Open it."
Inside was a bottle of water and a sandwich. The sandwich had some kind of pink spread on it. "Do I want to know?" I asked, turning it over a couple of times.
"Nope."
I shrugged and took a bite -- and almost gagged. "Shit!" I mumbled around the mouthful as my eyes started to water. "Hot!"
"I should think so," Bella said smugly. "It's mayonnaise and cayenne pepper."
My throat burned like fuck as I swallowed. "How much cayenne?"
"A couple of tablespoons."
I nodded, steeled myself, and took another bite. Ow ow ow ow ow...
Bella stared at me open-mouthed. "Oh, come on. I thought about that one for a month."
My tongue hurt too much to speak, so I just shrugged and kept chewing.
She rolled her eyes, took the sandwich from my hands, and replaced it with the bottle. "Here. Drink this."
I gulped down the water in two swallows. "Does this mean you're giving up?" I said finally, trying to move my tongue in a way that didn't sting.
Bella narrowed her eyes. "No. I just need to keep thinking, that's all. I'll win this yet, Jacob Black. Just wait."
"I will." I grinned, then-- oh, right! "Hey, I've got something for you too." I turned around and started digging through the pile of empty cardboard boxes. At the bottom was Bella's present. "Merry Christmas in April," I said, handing it to her.
She took the box, eyes widening in surprise at its weight, and looked at how the red paper was held onto the side with most of a roll of packing tape. "You wrapped this yourself, didn't you."
"Yes," I said defensively. When she shook her head, I crossed my arms and said, "Okay, so I can't wrap presents. I'd like to see you flush a transmission."
"Okay, okay. Can I open it?"
"Sure."
Bella set down the package on the bench and eagerly tore it open. She stopped once she saw the label, and the smile dropped from her face. "You... you got me a space heater?"
"Well... yeah." I suddenly felt awkward. It'd seemed like a good idea at the time. "I mean, you're in Phoenix so I know it's warm and stuff, but then I remembered that the desert's supposed to be really cold at night or something, so I thought you might want--" I stopped speaking abruptly when Bella stepped forward and threw her arms around my shoulders, burying her face in my neck. I rested my cheek against her head and breathed in the smell of her hair. I had missed her so much.
Then she was kissing me, and oh fuck, I'd missed that too.
Fire shot through me as my hands instinctually left her back to slide down to her ass, lifting her higher against me, and she wrapped her legs around my waist, trying to climb up my body, pressing against the growing bulge in my shorts, her fingers going to my hair. She was still soft and warm and smelled the same, and if nothing else, now I knew she would always smell the same, she would never be a marble statue, and that made everything worth it.
Her mouth opened and her tongue slid against my lips. I moaned as I responded in kind, and she suddenly jerked away like she'd been shot with an electric current. Her whole body stiffened and her legs dropped back to the ground, her hands shoving at my chest. I let go instantly. Shit. "Sorry, Bells, I just--"
Bella hopped around, her fingers over her mouth. "Fuck!" she swore. "Pepper! Ow ow ow ow ow!"
I burst out laughing, relief flooding through me. "It's your own damn fault, honey."
She pulled up the front of her shirt and wiped her tongue against the collar. "Agh," she said, grimacing. "That hurt." Then she glared at me. "Stop laughing."
"No," I managed, chuckling. I dodged when she tried to smack me.
Bella rolled her eyes as she picked up her jacket. "Okay. You're a jerk and I'm going home."
I watched the way her fingers moved over the buttons, remembering how they'd unbuttoned her ladybug pajamas. "You can't stay for a little while longer?" I said.
She paused, and looked at me in a way that made me burn all over. Then squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "No." When she opened her eyes and saw my face, she gave me a sheepish smile. "I already know we do that well, okay? That's not in question."
"You sure you don't need me to prove it again?" I offered. "Because I'm perfectly willing to remind you."
She groaned, half exasperated, half something else. "That's... tempting. But no."
I huffed in mock-annoyance. I hadn't really expected her to say yes, but hell, a guy can hope. "Okay, fine."
Bella bit her lip, then gave me a serious look. "Two months, okay? Give me two more months. I'll be back in June. I'll tell you then."
You've already decided, I wanted to tell her. But apparently Bella needed to do things in her own time. And two months wasn't that long, all things considered, even if my body felt otherwise. "Okay," I said. "You know where to find me."
"Yeah," she said softly. "I know." She picked up her space heater and smiled at it. "Thanks for the present, Jake."
"No problem," I said. "You'll understand if I don't thank you for the sandwich?"
She giggled. "I understand. Bye, Jake."
"Bye, Bells."
Easy as breathing.
Once I heard the truck start in the yard, I went back to work on the Chevy, whistling happily.
***
"Was that Bella Swan I saw driving in the opposite direction?" Billy demanded when he got home fifteen minutes later, not even bothering to say 'hi' first.
"Probably," I said as I lifted him out of the truck and into his chair. "I don't know any other albinos in town who own our old pickup, do you?"
"Uh-huh." Billy gave me a long look as he settled into his chair. "How is she?"
"She's good."
"And how are you?"
I just smiled.
Billy was silent for a long moment, then shook his head. "People always said it was the teenage daughters that would give me gray hairs," he muttered as he rolled into the house.
***
Epilogue Post B: Wherein a lot of brain damage is inflicted and Jacob plans modifications to Bella's truck.