Member-Bender; Yifan/Junmyeon; PG
Member-Bender
yifan/junmyeon; canon, comedy (i consider this as a failed comedy); PG; 635 words
this is basically a /failed/ word-vomit and /failed/ suho birthday fic.
“Yifan, I think we should really consider doing member-bender.”
Yifan practically chokes on his espresso because: one, it is not likely for Junmyeon to use his serious tone except if there’s an absolutely-unable-to-be-handled situation in the dorm and two, what the hell is ‘member-bender’?
He might had misheard the word, though.
“Member what?” Yifan asks after a series of violent coughs and some pats on his back given by Junmyeon. The latter rolls his eyes before snatching a full box of tissue from the coffee table beside the sofa to give to Yifan, and later opens his mouth to give the tall Chinese man a lecture about ‘How can you not understand what I was saying when I talked in the simplest and slowest Korean I managed to produce and have you not heard the phrase ‘member-bender’ in between the period you live in Korea?’
“But really, what is this ‘member-bender’ or something you said before?” the older cuts Junmyeon’s rant abruptly before it gets too long. Junmyeon, tough a bit offended of getting his words cut not on the right time, immediately gets distracted by Yifan’s question because, “First thing first, I invented that term.”
Oh. That explains everything, but Yifan chooses to say nothing and instead gestures Junmyeon to continue his explanation.
“Well, it comes from the well-known term on fanfictions -wait, you do know fanfiction, no? It’ll take me some more time to explain what fanfictions are if you don’t know them but -okay, okay, NO DON’T YOU DARE STRANGLE ME YOU MORON!” and Yifan puts down his hands. The glare stills, though.
“Let me tell you, there’s a well-known term,” Junmyeon says, coughing to emphasize the importance of his words. “It’s gender-bender, in which-“
“The characters’ gender got switched.” Yifan interjects. Junmyeon nods in what seems like a mixture of agreement and satisfy, as he continues, “So, since some of my members are… okay, let’s say that they’re too unruly for me, and regarding the fact that you’re much more capable when it comes to handling them, I think we need to switch our members.”
“So you’re saying that you’re incapable of managing your own group,” Yifan chuckles with a widening smirk as Junmyeon’s face reddens,
“No-what, how can you say something like that?!”
“You said yourself that you can’t handle your members.” the smirk almost break Yifan’s face, he can feel it, but this is getting too interesting, seeing the almost-smiling good naturedly Junmyeon gets flustered. It’s cute, he thinks, as his smirk slowly changes into an amused smile.
“Most of! I’m not that incapable of them! At least I can handle Kyungsoo, and Jongin, and Sehun… sometimes.” the small man shies out his last word, “But still! I’m still capable okay because who can handle two trolls called Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”
“You said I can.”
Junmyeon sighs. Yifan laughs, ruffling the shorter man’s head with his big hands. “Okay, I got it. So you want to exchange Baekhyun and Chanyeol with who?”
“Yixing.” Junmyeon answers after some minutes of thinking. “And… maybe Minseok?”
“Yixing can be too forgetful to bear, sometimes,”
“Just sometimes. Way better than Baekyeol’s pranks.”
“Well, then." Yifan sighs, "But I heard from Kyungsoo that, on some particular times, they’re incredibly calm?”
Junmyeon thinks for a thoughtful second before his face blanches, “It’s after they…” and his hands makes an awkward gesture. Yifan couldn’t decipher it well, though, but when he sees the reddening on Junmyeon’s face as he glances towards Yifan, the latter automatically understands. “After they…”
“Yeah.” Junmyeon quickly nods before Yifan gets the chance to finish his sentence. “Um. Yeah. So…”
“You have to have them do ‘that’ to calm them down?”
“…yeah.”
“So let them be, then.”
“But-“
“It disturbs you?”
Junmyeon nods again, face flushed and all. Yifan smirks, rising his left eyebrow as he leans in to intrude Junmyeon's personal space, “You're disturbed because I’m not there, right?”
“Yes-wait, what?”
--end.