BRIGIT'S FLAME WEEK 2 ENTRY SEPT-- ETERNAL

[augustday1]

Death is Eternal

Death is Eternal

Below it-

Spadacinno’s Funeral Home.

The words were blurred, but they were profound.

The sign, a morbid workplace joke, hung over the morgue freezer door.

He groaned loudly and tried to turn on to his side, he could not.

I’m alive!

He needed someone to address that fact ASAP. He’d shout it if he could

but at the

Comments

[mermaidbia]

Casual conversation from live people. Very nice.

WOW!
That is just so fricking amazing. My favourite of your works, so far. In the end you have the reader so firmly believing the cop is dead - and not yet accepting it as fact - that the sudden change was like a ton of bricks taken from your soul. You really feel there's nothing more beautiful at the moment than hearing that idiot Tilt's voice. Love is eternal, indeed.

Gorgeously done, vivid, realistic, surrealistic...gorgeous.

[augustday1]

Great, what a relief! I wasn't sure how it would read to someone else. You know--when I write I try not to mess with what comes through too much.And we've talked about you're right in the middle your story and everything is being played out before you. My experience is more like I'm fed a tiny piece, one I have to use, and than another, and so on.Kinda like picking up stones and putting them my basket. And then I've got to thread them together no matter if they're related or not. Once I get a into a certain flow I jump in and the threads come together. And of course I've got to cut some threads away. And you know, when you're done, you're eyeing the thing you made and sayin--ooh that's kinda nice. But you just don't know if another person will see the beauty you see in it. Cuz it's your baby, and you love it. Thanks Bia, for this wonderful review. It made me feel really good. To know someone else, even it's in just you and me, thinks my baby came out okay. I love that you called Tilt an 'idiot'. You got his number

[grayglube]

One of my FAVS!!!

This was so fantastic, I love the whole cops thing, Squeeze kinda reminds me of John Constantine from the Sandman comics with his mannerisms and speech. This was too good and my favortie line had to be: His mouth was dry but he licked at frozen lips and spoke. “I-it’s…love. Love’s eternal…n-not…death.” “You proposing to me, partner? Cuz Anissa, she ain’t gonna appreciate it. You know she already don’t like you that much.”

This was great, I loved this

[augustday1]

Wonderful! I'm so glad you liked it. It's the greatest feeling to be able to put some words together and make a story. And it's even better if someone else reads your story and appreciates it, and tells you so! This piece was kind of long and I was a bit concerned people might lose interest. So I'm very excited to get this wonderful review from you. Thank you.

Hey, you called Squeeze--Squeeze. I guess it's official now.
Thanks for that,too!

And best of luck to you this week.

[grayglube]

Squeeze it is!

Such a cool cop name, and the story behind his partners name got me laughing too.

[wierdauntie]

Very engaging and original!

[augustday1]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I do appreciate it. I know it was bit long.

Best of luck to you!!

[hwango]

Nice. As a purely cosmetic note, I felt like I was reading a story done almost entirely in bold text. I guess I would have preferred a smaller font size. = )

[augustday1]

Thank you so much for reading. And thanks for mentioning your problem with the font size. This is my first on line journal and I'm still fiddling around with stuff. I'll try something smaller.

Good luck to you.