What aunt_zelda Thinks: The Fifth Element
Watched on Netflix, while on skype with my boyfriend, who is 3,000 miles away.
Here's the notes I took as we watched:
Me: Oh no he’s French
BF: That’s an appropriate reaction.
*opening scene*
BF: I don’t even remember this scene.
BF: Oh wait now I do.
*giant spaceship over Egypt*
Me: WHAT?! WHAT?!
BF: *laughs*
Me: What kinda Stargate shit is this?
Me: This Star Trek reboot is weird.
BF: I think this counts as a better Star Wars movie than the prequels.
Oh, so the President is black in the future, with a dead eye. Nice.
Bruce Willis’ apartment.
Me: Typical sized Brooklyn apartment.
Awwww, kitty! Lol, that cat’s eyes.
Was that a freaking Seinfeld reaction sound?
BF: That summarizes this movie perfectly, it’s a LINE in SPACE.
*Lady writhes around semi-naked*
Me: Is this a commentary on the Male Gaze?
BF: I don’t know.
Creepy General: You want out? You’ll have to work on those communication skills.
Lady: *punches through his chest and kills him*
Me: YAY!
Me: Ooooooo! Pretty future! 90’s idea of the future! Flying cars! YAY!
Love that the cops have glowsticks in their cars.
Oh my gods obnoxious product placement.
Me: Why are you doing this?!
BF: Because we need a movie. And he’s Bruce Willis.
Awww, Bruce Willis is soppily in love like a teenage girl. Awwwww.
*food is microwaved*
Me: What? What?
BF: It’s the future, babe. It’s the future.
*the villain turns around*
Me: *laughs uproariously*
BF: Jupiter Ascending parallels increase.
BF: *giggling* Space capitalism is evil!
Villain: *screams*
Me: I CREATE LIFE … and I destroy it.
BF: *laughs*
I like the sudden transitions.
The cherry scene.
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!??!?
Restaurant boat in the window.
Me: I love that!
BF: Me too!
Me: I wanna live in that future!
Me: Is this a comedy?
BF: I keep telling you, it’s kind of a legitimate movie, and it’s kind of not.
*Bruce Willis is weirdly romantic*
Me: Don’t you have four people locked in your wall right now?
BF: Yes. Yes he does.
Love the freckles on these ladies.
So this is space David Bowie?
Love all that blue paint.
Love the pop star guy dragging Bruce Willis around on his arm.
I totally believe people will dress like this in the future.
Wow, that singing was glorious.
President: Is that your idea of a discreet operation?
Me: *laughs*
BF: *laughs*
Me: Oh my god, Ruby, shut up!
BF: That is a common reaction to this character.
Me: I mean he was great at first, now he’s just annoying and loud though.
It’s a little late in the movie to be throwing down deep philosophical stuff after it’s been a whacky space comedy.
BF: Yes, the fact that he smokes is foreshadowing.
Here's the notes I took as we watched:
Me: Oh no he’s French
BF: That’s an appropriate reaction.
*opening scene*
BF: I don’t even remember this scene.
BF: Oh wait now I do.
*giant spaceship over Egypt*
Me: WHAT?! WHAT?!
BF: *laughs*
Me: What kinda Stargate shit is this?
Me: This Star Trek reboot is weird.
BF: I think this counts as a better Star Wars movie than the prequels.
Oh, so the President is black in the future, with a dead eye. Nice.
Bruce Willis’ apartment.
Me: Typical sized Brooklyn apartment.
Awwww, kitty! Lol, that cat’s eyes.
Was that a freaking Seinfeld reaction sound?
BF: That summarizes this movie perfectly, it’s a LINE in SPACE.
*Lady writhes around semi-naked*
Me: Is this a commentary on the Male Gaze?
BF: I don’t know.
Creepy General: You want out? You’ll have to work on those communication skills.
Lady: *punches through his chest and kills him*
Me: YAY!
Me: Ooooooo! Pretty future! 90’s idea of the future! Flying cars! YAY!
Love that the cops have glowsticks in their cars.
Oh my gods obnoxious product placement.
Me: Why are you doing this?!
BF: Because we need a movie. And he’s Bruce Willis.
Awww, Bruce Willis is soppily in love like a teenage girl. Awwwww.
*food is microwaved*
Me: What? What?
BF: It’s the future, babe. It’s the future.
*the villain turns around*
Me: *laughs uproariously*
BF: Jupiter Ascending parallels increase.
BF: *giggling* Space capitalism is evil!
Villain: *screams*
Me: I CREATE LIFE … and I destroy it.
BF: *laughs*
I like the sudden transitions.
The cherry scene.
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?
Me: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!??!?
Restaurant boat in the window.
Me: I love that!
BF: Me too!
Me: I wanna live in that future!
Me: Is this a comedy?
BF: I keep telling you, it’s kind of a legitimate movie, and it’s kind of not.
*Bruce Willis is weirdly romantic*
Me: Don’t you have four people locked in your wall right now?
BF: Yes. Yes he does.
Love the freckles on these ladies.
So this is space David Bowie?
Love all that blue paint.
Love the pop star guy dragging Bruce Willis around on his arm.
I totally believe people will dress like this in the future.
Wow, that singing was glorious.
President: Is that your idea of a discreet operation?
Me: *laughs*
BF: *laughs*
Me: Oh my god, Ruby, shut up!
BF: That is a common reaction to this character.
Me: I mean he was great at first, now he’s just annoying and loud though.
It’s a little late in the movie to be throwing down deep philosophical stuff after it’s been a whacky space comedy.
BF: Yes, the fact that he smokes is foreshadowing.