Christmas, 1996 for true_marauder

[auror_aura]

Molly Weasley invited her to Christmas dinner at the Burrow, and Tonks politely turned her down. She was going to spend Christmas with her parents, after all, though when Molly said that Remus was in the country and would be at the Burrow, she did hesitate. Still, she didn't want to have to meet with him in such an excruciatingly public way, much

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[true_marauder]

Remus was in the library, a book in his lap on the pretense that he was reading it. He had tried reading, but his attention always wandered after a page or two, and now he was staring at the corner of the room opposite. There's been a tree there last year. Dung had brought it and he and Sirius and Tonks had decorated it together, trying to make the place as festive as they could before the children had arrived. They'd hung holly and drunk eggnog heavily laced with rum, and

[auror_aura]

She turned at the sound of that name, spoken by that person. He looked even more tired and worn than he usually did. And older, much older. Tonks wanted nothing more than to hold him close and do anything she could to make some of those lines on his face smooth away, make his lips curl up in a smile again.

But he wouldn't let her. They weren't them anymore, just a tired, heartsick man and a tired, heartsick woman in an old kitchen, separated by so many things they couldn't put into words.

"I, uh. I brought you some shepherd's pie," she finally said, abruptly breaking the silence that threatened to stretch into something painful. "My mum made it, but I should've known Molly would be... taking care of you."

She shifted awkwardly on her feet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I don't know what possessed me to come..."

[true_marauder]

"Don't." His voice is even more raspy then usual, from disuse. In the last day and a half he's slept and wandered the house, speaking only a few words to himself or the mirror that found even more then usual to criticize in his appearance. If he didn't know better he would think that the mirror was charmed by Molly, considering the comments it made about his weight.

"I mean you don't have to if..." Merlin, but he should just let her go; it would be easier on both of them, probably. But as much as it hurt to see her it also sent a thrill through him, like manna to a starving man. "Thank you. For the food, and... thank you."

He took a single step closer to the kitchen.

[auror_aura]

"It's nothing," she murmured, biting her lip. "I s'pose I just... wanted to see how you are."

He was alive, at least. Breathing. Standing there, watching her like he hadn't said those terrible things. It's over...

She turned to put the food in the ice box. "I'm glad you're hanging in there." She wished she could've managed to do something to her hair. Maybe it would've cheered him up to see a splash of pink. But it took so much extra effort lately.