Fic: Stargazing (G)
Title: Stargazing
Category: Sam & Jack friendship; team friendship
Genre: Angst; Missing Scene; Hurt/Comfort; Drama
Summary: After almost losing Daniel, Sam and Jack bond over a shared interest.
Spoiler: Tag for "Fire and Water"; Stargate Movie and Enemy Within references
Word Count: around 2000
Author's Notes: Another fic in my don quixote quest for more Sam & Jack friendship fic! Ended up a bit angsty to be a birthday fic as intended. So instead it's just a fic that coincidentally annerbhp and ali888 may enjoy on the occasion of their same day birthday. ;-) Thanks to abyssinia4077 for her speedy beta.
Disclaimer: The characters and events of Stargate SG-1 are owned by MGM, Double Secret and Gekko productions and a host of other people who are NOT me. No remuneration or profit made from this endeavor. It is merely one fan's "homage".
Sam climbed another rung of the ladder and peered over the rooftop. Silhouetted amongst the trees and night sky, she could make out the colonel's features sitting on a patio chair peering through a telescope perched beside him. Uncertain whether or not to retreat or advance, her decision was made when he spoke without turning.
"C'mon over, Captain."
Nimbly, she climbed the last few feet and walked over to Colonel O'Neill. "How did you know it was me?"
She saw his smile around the telescope. "Daniel hates climbing the ladder, it shakes a lot. And I would've never heard Teal'c."
Sam laughed. "True enough." She sat on the rooftop next to his chair, trying to make her voice sound casual. "We were wondering where you'd wandered off to. The kitchen's all cleaned."
That made him turn away from the eyepiece. "You didn't need to do that. I would've gotten to it...eventually."
She shrugged. "It was no problem." It hadn't escaped any of their notice that the colonel had come out of the kitchen telling them to help themselves to coffee while he checked something in the yard.
Daniel had watched him go with a puzzled frown, coming back from the kitchen a couple minutes later noting the coffee was never turned on and the colonel had left the carafe half-filled with water in the sink. Sam had instantly grabbed the carafe to fill, purposefully looking at Daniel's frowning worried face rather than the water. Before he could frame aloud the questions she dreaded, Teal'c had distracted him by suggesting they wash the dishes with a meaningful look to Sam. Despite Daniel now safe and sound from the "dead" on P3X-866, Sam still had flashbacks of the false memories Nem had given them. It looked like the colonel still felt the same.
Even Teal'c with his alien symbiote was not immune from the torture the amphibian had put them through. As Sam had stood between her teammates in an ad hoc assembly line, listening to Teal'c's questions launch Daniel into long explanations about Babylonian culture, she watched Teal'c's suds covered hand slip around one of the glasses used at dinner. It may have just been the slipperiness of the soap, but Sam knew better. If Daniel hadn't been standing shoulder to shoulder with her, she'd have run screaming from the room from the bubbles and water. It was ridiculous that something so innocent could invoke such horrible memories. But the memories were replaced while she followed the mundane routine. Daniel's calm voice had drowned the false memories of his dying screams, his touch had warmed her as he took the dishes from her towel-covered hand to put away.
While this simple routine had calmed her, Daniel had become more concerned-casting each of them worried looks in between watching the doorway for the colonel's return. Finally, he had turned to the door, but her hand on his arm stopped him. "Let me."
She had seen he wanted to fight her, biting his lip and looked from her to Teal'c standing behind her. Sam still didn't know if he read something in her expression or Teal'c's, but he had given way. Apparently he had guessed the nature of their concern though because he had squeezed her hand before she moved out of his grasp. "I really am okay now, you know?"
Sam had only smiled, unable to articulate a response as she headed out the door. Now she found herself on Colonel Jack O'Neill's rooftop amateur observatory, and still not sure what to say or do.
Looking around, she couldn't blame the colonel for retreating here. The crisp spring breeze wisped at her hair as if to physically push the last of the false visions from her head. The house sat on an elevation, above much of the tree line. They were outside the city limits, away from light pollution. It was a prime location for stargazing. Being out here brought perspective. Sam took a deep breath, reveling in the peace.
Colonel O'Neill spoke up, his voice holding a touch of guilt, "I didn't realize I'd been out here so long. I guess I just lost track of time. I just had to..."
Sam nodded as his voice trailed off. She understood. She felt the same. To break the awkwardness, she commented on the view. "It's perfect up here. It's been years since I've seen so many stars with the unaided eye." She pointed in the distance. "Look there. You can make out the distinct stars within the Pleiades."
"That's why I bought the place. After..." There was another pregnant pause, and Sam worried that by trying to stave off one hurtful topic, she'd unwittingly blundered into another, but he continued speaking after just a moment. "After the first Abydos mission, I had a different perspective on a lot of things. A buddy of mine mentioned this place was on the market. I hadn't planned on buying a house, but when I saw this view...I knew I had to buy it."
"It's beautiful." Sam basked in the serene atmosphere. She wanted to say more, but couldn't form the right words to describe what she felt. This moment was peaceful and fragile. The wrong word would shatter its magic. They sat like that a few moments before O'Neill broke the silence.
"You know, I was sitting right here when Samuels called me back into the Stargate program. " He pointed out a twinkling light amongst the others. Orienting herself quickly, she realized he was pointing towards Abydos. "Strange how things happen," he muttered.
"Yes, sir." She stared at the distant point of light.
"So much is out there. No one knows. What we've seen...who we've lost..."
The colonel appeared lost in his thoughts. Worried he was caught in another of Nem's false memories, she reached out and grabbed his wrist in an instinctive motion to comfort. She wanted to ground him like she had needed grounding earlier. Only afterwards did she worry that it may have been inappropriate. But the colonel never moved. Her instincts had guided her this far. She spoke softly, "We got Daniel back, sir. You got us all home."
"This time, Captain. Not always."
She blinked. He was still staring at Abydos. He wasn't caught up in the memory of Daniel's death...or at least, not only in that. She'd studied that original Abydos mission backwards and forwards. Daniel was falsely listed as dead that time too. But the others truly never came back. Brown, Reilly, Freeman, Porro-they were names on a casualty list for her, black and white heroes and explorers. They'd been O'Neill's team, flesh and blood men he had lost. Even Kawalsky. They'd basically lost him on Chulak when the Goa'uld had infested him. She suppressed a shudder. It could've been any of SG-1. Thinking they'd lost Daniel still hit too close.
She tried to break through the morose thoughts. "It's a dangerous job sir. We've all volunteered. They all volunteered."
"It doesn't make it any easier, Captain."
She stared at him. Would she ever be able to shoulder the burdens of command that he carried? "No, sir. But it doesn't make the rewards any less important either. In fact, it makes them moreso."
He stared at her hard. "Do you really think so, Carter?"
The abruptness and seriousness startled her. She let go of his arm. Recovering, she met his searching look and replied. "Yes sir."
He nodded and continued to look out into the night.
She wasn't sure if she'd given him the absolution or solace he seemed to crave, or what else she could do. How could she speak for the dead? She could only speak for herself, what her thoughts and dreams would be if it ever was her name on that casualty list.
"I remember being a kid, lying in the playground in the evening near the officers' quarters with Mark and some of the neighborhood kids. I'd stay long after we were called to go back home, watching the darkness. I always wanted to reach out and pluck the lights from the sky. My father was a pilot who soared through the skies. I wanted to be an astronaut and soar through space.
"The shutdown after Challenger scuttled those plans. Before I joined Project Giza, I never thought I'd be able to do that. And now-"
"And now we stroll across the galaxy on everyday jaunts." O'Neill interrupted. He returned to his usual light tone-the one he adopted to hide the thoughts underneath. "Not exactly flying on a rocketship."
Following his lead, she nodded. "No, sir. But it'll do."
This time it was she who stared hard at him, willing him to understand the full meaning of those words. She was doing the job she loved, that she craved. And she wouldn't trade one minute of it, even with the risks it carried. She was proud to serve with SG-1, and proud to serve under O'Neill. She hoped some of that message carried through.
He finally looked away and leaned back in the lawn chair, once again looking up at the sky. "Who knows, Carter. Explore enough planets, and we may hit on one that'll have us flying in space yet."
"There's a lot of them out there, sir," she agreed. "I noticed your poster of Mars, sir."
He nodded, the half-smile still on his face. "I got that as a joke. I was-well, I was stranded after a bad op. Could only travel at night, using the stars as a guide. Before the mission, Williams had been going on about how Mars was in retrograde that month. We all teased him to read our horoscopes next. But wouldn't you know it, Mars led me back to the rendezvous point as if I was on some freaky path of the magi. My team called me Marvin the Martian for a while." He gave a low laugh. "If they only knew my day job now.
"Stars as guides. The salvation for navigators from the time of ancient mariners. It's instinctual with me. No matter what alien world we're at, or whatever magnets screw up our compass readings, you gotta keep track of the sun or suns or moons as the case may be anymore. The sky won't change. Even if it's purple."
Sam remembered more than once the colonel unerringly leading SG-1 back to the Stargate, when their navigational equipment was broken. They depended so much on Teal'c's expertise as a guide, she took for granted how good her c.o. was at his job. He tried so hard to keep people underestimating him. Even knowing better, she'd still fall into that trap from time to time. She felt honored he'd shared that with her.
"Hey!" A voice from below called up to them. They exchanged a guilty look with each other. Sam was supposed to bring the colonel back inside, but had been caught up in introspection herself.
"I guess now we've both been missed." The colonel echoed her thoughts.
They got up and headed over to the edge of the roof by the ladder. Daniel and Teal'c stood on the lawn below. Daniel seemed visibly relieved they were alright. "W-we were worried you might have fallen."
"I was not." Teal'c corrected.
Daniel rolled his eyes and huffed. "All right, I was worried."
"It's one story, Daniel. And you would've heard us fall."
"Not if you landed in the bushes." Daniel countered Jack's argument.
Sam watched the banter, realizing how much she had missed this. She felt her face break out into a broad grin...the first real smile she had had since they thought Daniel was gone from them. She had felt the moment was perfect earlier, but now it felt even better. It felt...complete.
Teal'c spoke. "Daniel Jackson mentioned we should ingest some cold cream. It is supposed to be 'tasty'."
Teal'c's tone was dubious, and Sam had to agree. The colonel translated Teal'c's malaprop quicker than she. "It's 'ice cream', Teal'c. And he's right. It's delicious. Good idea, Daniel."
He waved his arm out to Sam in an exaggerated gentlemanly fashion. "After you, Carter."
Still grinning, she moved to the ladder. She started to head down, the colonel caught her eye. "And thanks, Captain for..." He waved his arm vaguely towards the telescope.
"Anytime, sir."
Fin.
Category: Sam & Jack friendship; team friendship
Genre: Angst; Missing Scene; Hurt/Comfort; Drama
Summary: After almost losing Daniel, Sam and Jack bond over a shared interest.
Spoiler: Tag for "Fire and Water"; Stargate Movie and Enemy Within references
Word Count: around 2000
Author's Notes: Another fic in my don quixote quest for more Sam & Jack friendship fic! Ended up a bit angsty to be a birthday fic as intended. So instead it's just a fic that coincidentally annerbhp and ali888 may enjoy on the occasion of their same day birthday. ;-) Thanks to abyssinia4077 for her speedy beta.
Disclaimer: The characters and events of Stargate SG-1 are owned by MGM, Double Secret and Gekko productions and a host of other people who are NOT me. No remuneration or profit made from this endeavor. It is merely one fan's "homage".
Sam climbed another rung of the ladder and peered over the rooftop. Silhouetted amongst the trees and night sky, she could make out the colonel's features sitting on a patio chair peering through a telescope perched beside him. Uncertain whether or not to retreat or advance, her decision was made when he spoke without turning.
"C'mon over, Captain."
Nimbly, she climbed the last few feet and walked over to Colonel O'Neill. "How did you know it was me?"
She saw his smile around the telescope. "Daniel hates climbing the ladder, it shakes a lot. And I would've never heard Teal'c."
Sam laughed. "True enough." She sat on the rooftop next to his chair, trying to make her voice sound casual. "We were wondering where you'd wandered off to. The kitchen's all cleaned."
That made him turn away from the eyepiece. "You didn't need to do that. I would've gotten to it...eventually."
She shrugged. "It was no problem." It hadn't escaped any of their notice that the colonel had come out of the kitchen telling them to help themselves to coffee while he checked something in the yard.
Daniel had watched him go with a puzzled frown, coming back from the kitchen a couple minutes later noting the coffee was never turned on and the colonel had left the carafe half-filled with water in the sink. Sam had instantly grabbed the carafe to fill, purposefully looking at Daniel's frowning worried face rather than the water. Before he could frame aloud the questions she dreaded, Teal'c had distracted him by suggesting they wash the dishes with a meaningful look to Sam. Despite Daniel now safe and sound from the "dead" on P3X-866, Sam still had flashbacks of the false memories Nem had given them. It looked like the colonel still felt the same.
Even Teal'c with his alien symbiote was not immune from the torture the amphibian had put them through. As Sam had stood between her teammates in an ad hoc assembly line, listening to Teal'c's questions launch Daniel into long explanations about Babylonian culture, she watched Teal'c's suds covered hand slip around one of the glasses used at dinner. It may have just been the slipperiness of the soap, but Sam knew better. If Daniel hadn't been standing shoulder to shoulder with her, she'd have run screaming from the room from the bubbles and water. It was ridiculous that something so innocent could invoke such horrible memories. But the memories were replaced while she followed the mundane routine. Daniel's calm voice had drowned the false memories of his dying screams, his touch had warmed her as he took the dishes from her towel-covered hand to put away.
While this simple routine had calmed her, Daniel had become more concerned-casting each of them worried looks in between watching the doorway for the colonel's return. Finally, he had turned to the door, but her hand on his arm stopped him. "Let me."
She had seen he wanted to fight her, biting his lip and looked from her to Teal'c standing behind her. Sam still didn't know if he read something in her expression or Teal'c's, but he had given way. Apparently he had guessed the nature of their concern though because he had squeezed her hand before she moved out of his grasp. "I really am okay now, you know?"
Sam had only smiled, unable to articulate a response as she headed out the door. Now she found herself on Colonel Jack O'Neill's rooftop amateur observatory, and still not sure what to say or do.
Looking around, she couldn't blame the colonel for retreating here. The crisp spring breeze wisped at her hair as if to physically push the last of the false visions from her head. The house sat on an elevation, above much of the tree line. They were outside the city limits, away from light pollution. It was a prime location for stargazing. Being out here brought perspective. Sam took a deep breath, reveling in the peace.
Colonel O'Neill spoke up, his voice holding a touch of guilt, "I didn't realize I'd been out here so long. I guess I just lost track of time. I just had to..."
Sam nodded as his voice trailed off. She understood. She felt the same. To break the awkwardness, she commented on the view. "It's perfect up here. It's been years since I've seen so many stars with the unaided eye." She pointed in the distance. "Look there. You can make out the distinct stars within the Pleiades."
"That's why I bought the place. After..." There was another pregnant pause, and Sam worried that by trying to stave off one hurtful topic, she'd unwittingly blundered into another, but he continued speaking after just a moment. "After the first Abydos mission, I had a different perspective on a lot of things. A buddy of mine mentioned this place was on the market. I hadn't planned on buying a house, but when I saw this view...I knew I had to buy it."
"It's beautiful." Sam basked in the serene atmosphere. She wanted to say more, but couldn't form the right words to describe what she felt. This moment was peaceful and fragile. The wrong word would shatter its magic. They sat like that a few moments before O'Neill broke the silence.
"You know, I was sitting right here when Samuels called me back into the Stargate program. " He pointed out a twinkling light amongst the others. Orienting herself quickly, she realized he was pointing towards Abydos. "Strange how things happen," he muttered.
"Yes, sir." She stared at the distant point of light.
"So much is out there. No one knows. What we've seen...who we've lost..."
The colonel appeared lost in his thoughts. Worried he was caught in another of Nem's false memories, she reached out and grabbed his wrist in an instinctive motion to comfort. She wanted to ground him like she had needed grounding earlier. Only afterwards did she worry that it may have been inappropriate. But the colonel never moved. Her instincts had guided her this far. She spoke softly, "We got Daniel back, sir. You got us all home."
"This time, Captain. Not always."
She blinked. He was still staring at Abydos. He wasn't caught up in the memory of Daniel's death...or at least, not only in that. She'd studied that original Abydos mission backwards and forwards. Daniel was falsely listed as dead that time too. But the others truly never came back. Brown, Reilly, Freeman, Porro-they were names on a casualty list for her, black and white heroes and explorers. They'd been O'Neill's team, flesh and blood men he had lost. Even Kawalsky. They'd basically lost him on Chulak when the Goa'uld had infested him. She suppressed a shudder. It could've been any of SG-1. Thinking they'd lost Daniel still hit too close.
She tried to break through the morose thoughts. "It's a dangerous job sir. We've all volunteered. They all volunteered."
"It doesn't make it any easier, Captain."
She stared at him. Would she ever be able to shoulder the burdens of command that he carried? "No, sir. But it doesn't make the rewards any less important either. In fact, it makes them moreso."
He stared at her hard. "Do you really think so, Carter?"
The abruptness and seriousness startled her. She let go of his arm. Recovering, she met his searching look and replied. "Yes sir."
He nodded and continued to look out into the night.
She wasn't sure if she'd given him the absolution or solace he seemed to crave, or what else she could do. How could she speak for the dead? She could only speak for herself, what her thoughts and dreams would be if it ever was her name on that casualty list.
"I remember being a kid, lying in the playground in the evening near the officers' quarters with Mark and some of the neighborhood kids. I'd stay long after we were called to go back home, watching the darkness. I always wanted to reach out and pluck the lights from the sky. My father was a pilot who soared through the skies. I wanted to be an astronaut and soar through space.
"The shutdown after Challenger scuttled those plans. Before I joined Project Giza, I never thought I'd be able to do that. And now-"
"And now we stroll across the galaxy on everyday jaunts." O'Neill interrupted. He returned to his usual light tone-the one he adopted to hide the thoughts underneath. "Not exactly flying on a rocketship."
Following his lead, she nodded. "No, sir. But it'll do."
This time it was she who stared hard at him, willing him to understand the full meaning of those words. She was doing the job she loved, that she craved. And she wouldn't trade one minute of it, even with the risks it carried. She was proud to serve with SG-1, and proud to serve under O'Neill. She hoped some of that message carried through.
He finally looked away and leaned back in the lawn chair, once again looking up at the sky. "Who knows, Carter. Explore enough planets, and we may hit on one that'll have us flying in space yet."
"There's a lot of them out there, sir," she agreed. "I noticed your poster of Mars, sir."
He nodded, the half-smile still on his face. "I got that as a joke. I was-well, I was stranded after a bad op. Could only travel at night, using the stars as a guide. Before the mission, Williams had been going on about how Mars was in retrograde that month. We all teased him to read our horoscopes next. But wouldn't you know it, Mars led me back to the rendezvous point as if I was on some freaky path of the magi. My team called me Marvin the Martian for a while." He gave a low laugh. "If they only knew my day job now.
"Stars as guides. The salvation for navigators from the time of ancient mariners. It's instinctual with me. No matter what alien world we're at, or whatever magnets screw up our compass readings, you gotta keep track of the sun or suns or moons as the case may be anymore. The sky won't change. Even if it's purple."
Sam remembered more than once the colonel unerringly leading SG-1 back to the Stargate, when their navigational equipment was broken. They depended so much on Teal'c's expertise as a guide, she took for granted how good her c.o. was at his job. He tried so hard to keep people underestimating him. Even knowing better, she'd still fall into that trap from time to time. She felt honored he'd shared that with her.
"Hey!" A voice from below called up to them. They exchanged a guilty look with each other. Sam was supposed to bring the colonel back inside, but had been caught up in introspection herself.
"I guess now we've both been missed." The colonel echoed her thoughts.
They got up and headed over to the edge of the roof by the ladder. Daniel and Teal'c stood on the lawn below. Daniel seemed visibly relieved they were alright. "W-we were worried you might have fallen."
"I was not." Teal'c corrected.
Daniel rolled his eyes and huffed. "All right, I was worried."
"It's one story, Daniel. And you would've heard us fall."
"Not if you landed in the bushes." Daniel countered Jack's argument.
Sam watched the banter, realizing how much she had missed this. She felt her face break out into a broad grin...the first real smile she had had since they thought Daniel was gone from them. She had felt the moment was perfect earlier, but now it felt even better. It felt...complete.
Teal'c spoke. "Daniel Jackson mentioned we should ingest some cold cream. It is supposed to be 'tasty'."
Teal'c's tone was dubious, and Sam had to agree. The colonel translated Teal'c's malaprop quicker than she. "It's 'ice cream', Teal'c. And he's right. It's delicious. Good idea, Daniel."
He waved his arm out to Sam in an exaggerated gentlemanly fashion. "After you, Carter."
Still grinning, she moved to the ladder. She started to head down, the colonel caught her eye. "And thanks, Captain for..." He waved his arm vaguely towards the telescope.
"Anytime, sir."
Fin.