Fic: DragonPony

Dec 05, 2008 15:53

You know, I was going to post more of these comment fics together...but since my muse is VERY BAD and understanding the concept of "comment fic", I'm just publishing them one at a time anyway. (Third will be coming shortly).

Title: DragonPony (f/n/a "Beanpot is Eevvvviiilllll")
Category: Action Adventure/Humor/Team Friendship; Episode Tag
Warnings: PG for violence
Spoilers: Ep tag for "Babylon"

Summary: Cam is caught in a nightmarish scenario.

Author's Notes: Done off beanpot's icon.

Which is why this fic was orginially titled: "Beanpot is EEVVVIIIILLLLLL!"

I'm still not sure how my muse started with crackfic, and ended up with angsty episode tag...



How did he get into these messes? Here he was, feeling like an underdressed Indiana Jones with bullwhip and knife in the middle of an arena, ready to face down some terrible monster as the alien crowd cheered. This was worse than the undercover rawhide when they were playing ring around the bad trades with Vala a few months back.

Where was his team when he needed it?

The gate at the far end opened, and the head lowered as it came out...holy crap it was a dinosaur. Of course, they wouldn't necessarily be extinct on other worlds. He was sure Daniel would be able to explain thoroughly proclivities of Goa'uld transplanting pterodactyls to alien lands. Or maybe vice versa. He'd really wish Daniel was near enough to ask...or more specifically, Daniel with his pistol. He'd bested Cam once or twice.

Or Sam with her rifle. Or Teal'c just...being Teal'c. He really wasn't particular. He just didn't know what he was going to be able to do with a bullwhip and bowie knife.

The dinosaur was out in the full sunlight now, clomping towards him. Cam squinted in the glare...was it his imagination or did the dinosaur have rainbow hair? And...was pink?

Of course, at this moment he didn't exactly care about Dino's color. He was more worried about those claws and huge...hoof things.

He cracked the whip instinctively, and Dino reared back, snapping its jaws. Well, maybe this would distract it until he could run out the gate, which Cam was pleased to see was still open.

The dinosaur lunged and Cam rolled, barely missing its jaws. Dino stank like bad leftovers. "You need a breath mint." He shouted as the dinosaur's eyes rolled into the back of its head as it tried to follow his movements, turning its head to see him.

Cameron scrambled back to his feet, then quickly lunged himself, his knife striking the rough impenetrable hide of the neck before scrabbling down to the more tender pink flesh.

"Well, that only served to piss you off, didn't it?" Cameron said as he danced back out of reach, almost losing a hand in the process.

Dino kicked back with his claw rear legs. What sense did that make for them to be in the back, anyway? Cameron stopped questioning and just tried to defend himself. His knife slicing through the more tender rump of the beast, who roared and trotted out of the range of the smaller man and his little blade.

"Hah! Didn't like that much, did you?" Cam grinned. His smile quickly soured as the dinohorse started running at him like a bull. He dove at the last moment, barely taking into account the butterfly tattoo on the dinosaur's right flank. He wouldn't last much longer.

"Mitchell!" He barely heard Jackson's cry over the "Rar" of the dinosaur.

Cameron didn't even look to the crowd, he just shouted out. "Nice of you guys to drop by! Shoot it!"

Sam's voice came from above him. "Too dangerous, Cam, we might hit you."

"I don't care! Shoot it!"

"Cam?"

"Now!"

"Mitchell!"

"Hit it in the butterfly!"

Cameron's eyes opened and he sat up straight, listening to the crescendos of the movie overture as the final credits of "Lost Ark" scrolled across his tv screen. He turned and looked. The rest of SG-1 was staring at him in bemusement from where they were seated around his apartment.

"I don't even want to know," Jackson whistled.

Sam shook her head as she gathered the empty paper bags. "This is the last time we do takeout buffet for a movie night. I think you're on a junk food rush."

Cam looked around. His apartment. His team. Movie night. Everything was fine. He was getting his breathing back under control. "I think you may be right."

Daniel studied him, then nodded. Slowly, he said, "You know, this happened to Jack once. It de-aged him thirty years or so."

Cameron blinked, still getting his bearings. "Wait, I read that report. That was the Asgard."

"We're still doing tests on the junk food he ate to see what part it played," Sam replied with a deadpan tone Cam couldn't check because her back was to him.

Teal'c had already left and grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen to save trips. Cameron struggled off the couch to help gather things, but found his coordination wasn't great. He jumped back as moving some napkins revealed two small plastic ponies--one pink, one green.

"Gah! What is that!"

Teal'c looked down. "The Happy Meal toys. You insisted we get those as well."

"Why did we get so much food?" Cam blinked at the pizza box Jackson was currently helping Sam stuff into the trash bag while he quickly tossed the ponies in after them.

"Because your first chance offbase, we gave you choice of dinner and a movie, and you said you were so hungry you wanted some of everything. So..."

"I did?" Cam blinked. His brain felt a bit fuzzy. "And you guys listened?"

"I think you've still got some of the good drugs working through your system." Daniel chuckled.

"You said you were tired of Sodan gruel and crappy tea," Sam prompted.

"Oh. Oh!" Cam was remembering now. How could he forget? Two months with the Sodan drinking nasty-herbal drinks and torture while recovering from a staff blast, capped by a faked near-death experience.

When he focused again it was notice three pairs of eyes watching him intently.

"You okay, Mitchell? You know Dr. Lam wanted you to stay over."

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. These jomo secu wounds are nothing compared to that staff blast, and that's healed. But I think you're right about not mixing so much junk food together." He gave a wan smile.

Sam smiled back. "Maybe just Chinese OR Mexican next time," she teased, but he saw the worry still in her eyes.

"You sure you don't want us to stay with you?" Jackson asked.

"Nope. I'm sure you're tired of babysitting me. I'll see y'all in the mornin'." He must be tired, his drawl was more pronounced.

"Okay," Jackson nodded. Cam noticed him setting out the cellphone, painkillers and water within easy reach on the side table. "You know how to reach us."

Sam squeezed his shoulder. "We're glad you're back home, Cam."

Cam looked up to see Teal'c staring at Mitchell with that intense gaze he could never quite figure out. "Indeed." Teal'c bowed and left.

"Yeah," Cam whispered as the team let themselves out. "Me too."

Fin

icon ficlets, my stories

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