college kids
Oh no it's unusual
I can't find my miracle
Oh no it's the usual
Why'd you go and fuck your miracle?
1. Downloading the kg-chart xstitch program may not have been the best idea I’ve ever had, primarily because I may have become slightly obsessed. To the point that I woke up at three am the other morning and spent two hours on the computer because I’d had an epiphany regarding a DMC thread shade transfer. DON’T JUDGE ME CROSS-STITCHING IS TOTALLY COOL AND HIP... kids still say ‘hip,’ right? Oh god I really am a grandma.
2. Applesauce is better than soy milk in vegan cupcake recipes.
3. The line-up for Macq’s 40th Conception Day is unbelievably amazing - Bluejuice, Yves Klein Blue, Philadelphia Grand Jury + others (Wolfmother headlining,) all for just $10. I am, as you may imagine, exceedingly excited.
4. The feral neighbourhood cats have decided that the tin roof right above my bedroom is a really good place to fight. Every night. At four am. I’m all for animal rights, but it’s probably a good thing I don’t own a shotgun.
5. Homemade banana bread with cashews and sunflower kernels [vegan] is scarily addictive.
6. The seven-foot zombie!Jesus at Holy Spirit Church Kincumber is fucking scary.
7. Neale’s funeral also made me realise that I know exactly how I want my funeral. It’s very simple - Silverchair’s Diorama album played beginning to end, and a giant piss-up afterwards (not that the people I associate with would have any problem with the latter.) No religion, no fuss, and scatter my ashes over the steps of the Opera House. Simple. (oh, and if any religion whatsoever is involved, I’ll invent an afterlife just so I can come back and haunt the shit out of the idiot who thought something religious-y would be appropriate.)
8. I am actually a horrible, disrespectful, immature person. Note, if you will, the following list of Things I Wanted To Do Monday Which I’m Pretty Sure Make Me A Horrible Person:
~ Leave the Avenue Q badges on my handbag.
~ Play the Jess McGuire / Defamer film game at the wake.
~ Tweet from inside the church.
~ Close one eye so I didn’t have zombie!Jesus in my line of sight.
~ Roll my eyes every time someone mentioned getting a ‘sign from the beyond.’
~ Correct the grammar in one of the eulogies.
~ Play Catholic Schools Office Dignitary Bingo!™
(you’ll be pleased to know that I did none of the above; I do have some restraint. well, ok, I may have rolled my eyes a little, but for fucks sake, it’s almost impossible not to when you get told that “...and then the PHONE rang, JUST as I had been asking about a sign from him, and there was NO-ONE ON THE OTHER END AND THEN THEY HUNG UP AND THAT’S OBVIOUSLY A SIGN THAT HE’S IN HEAVEN.” Richard Dawkins would have a bloody field day with these people.)
9. Lipton Light Lemon Green Iced Tea only has six calories. That can’t be right.
10. Sociology labs are actually Stalker101, complete with surveillance magpies and flag-gazing Anglo bombers.
I can't find my miracle
Oh no it's the usual
Why'd you go and fuck your miracle?
1. Downloading the kg-chart xstitch program may not have been the best idea I’ve ever had, primarily because I may have become slightly obsessed. To the point that I woke up at three am the other morning and spent two hours on the computer because I’d had an epiphany regarding a DMC thread shade transfer. DON’T JUDGE ME CROSS-STITCHING IS TOTALLY COOL AND HIP... kids still say ‘hip,’ right? Oh god I really am a grandma.
2. Applesauce is better than soy milk in vegan cupcake recipes.
3. The line-up for Macq’s 40th Conception Day is unbelievably amazing - Bluejuice, Yves Klein Blue, Philadelphia Grand Jury + others (Wolfmother headlining,) all for just $10. I am, as you may imagine, exceedingly excited.
4. The feral neighbourhood cats have decided that the tin roof right above my bedroom is a really good place to fight. Every night. At four am. I’m all for animal rights, but it’s probably a good thing I don’t own a shotgun.
5. Homemade banana bread with cashews and sunflower kernels [vegan] is scarily addictive.
6. The seven-foot zombie!Jesus at Holy Spirit Church Kincumber is fucking scary.
7. Neale’s funeral also made me realise that I know exactly how I want my funeral. It’s very simple - Silverchair’s Diorama album played beginning to end, and a giant piss-up afterwards (not that the people I associate with would have any problem with the latter.) No religion, no fuss, and scatter my ashes over the steps of the Opera House. Simple. (oh, and if any religion whatsoever is involved, I’ll invent an afterlife just so I can come back and haunt the shit out of the idiot who thought something religious-y would be appropriate.)
8. I am actually a horrible, disrespectful, immature person. Note, if you will, the following list of Things I Wanted To Do Monday Which I’m Pretty Sure Make Me A Horrible Person:
~ Leave the Avenue Q badges on my handbag.
~ Play the Jess McGuire / Defamer film game at the wake.
~ Tweet from inside the church.
~ Close one eye so I didn’t have zombie!Jesus in my line of sight.
~ Roll my eyes every time someone mentioned getting a ‘sign from the beyond.’
~ Correct the grammar in one of the eulogies.
~ Play Catholic Schools Office Dignitary Bingo!™
(you’ll be pleased to know that I did none of the above; I do have some restraint. well, ok, I may have rolled my eyes a little, but for fucks sake, it’s almost impossible not to when you get told that “...and then the PHONE rang, JUST as I had been asking about a sign from him, and there was NO-ONE ON THE OTHER END AND THEN THEY HUNG UP AND THAT’S OBVIOUSLY A SIGN THAT HE’S IN HEAVEN.” Richard Dawkins would have a bloody field day with these people.)
9. Lipton Light Lemon Green Iced Tea only has six calories. That can’t be right.
10. Sociology labs are actually Stalker101, complete with surveillance magpies and flag-gazing Anglo bombers.