ways and means
This world it is not safe
We must make plans to leave this place
We'll build a colony
On nearby planets known to me
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried
I tried to warn them it's too late
I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
I'll try my luck in outer space
Farewell rocketship.
1. Jessica Mauboy’s predicted ‘Gabriella Chilmi-esque’ sweep of the ARIAS came to, in actual fact... one ARIA. For highest selling single. Australian music industry, thank you for restoring my faith.
2. Marieke Hardy is the sweetest, most adorable person on the planet. She’s eighteen times more attractive in person than she is on tv, and eleven thousand times more lovable than you could possibly imagine. How do I know this? The Smirnoff Crew met her at the Get Bucked Up party, we chatted with her for a good ten minutes, and I can now die happy. Even straight-as-an-arrow Shannon had a moment of swooning. (Being the raging lesbian that I am, I was of course rendered speechless for the remainder of the evening.)
3. If Bob Ellis and Annabel Crabb had a child, it would probably achieve world domination by age five. And I would be totally ok with that.
4. My five most tweeted words are “love” “watching” “people” “time” “fuck.” With a list like that it’s much harder to convince people that I’m not a creeper.
5. Not only is Josh Thomas gay, but he’s dating Tom Ballard. Most. Adorable. Couple. Ever.
6. I’m only willing to protest when it directly affects me. Refugee rights? Sad, but eh. Indigenous land rights? Couldn’t care less. Same-sex marriage bans? PASS ME MY PLACARD LET US TAKE TO THE STREETS AT ONCE.
7. Apparently, the Triple J breakfast team making the full-page Ian Ross tribute in the newspaper into a mask is ‘offensive’ and ‘degrading.’ I also learnt that the Daily Telegraph has a giant pole up its arse.
8. I may have a slight addiction to livetweeting music and political events.
9. Tony Abbott is now the Leader of the Federal Opposition Party. By a margin of one vote, the Coalition rejected the popularity of Hockey and the pragmatism of Turnball and instead went with the guy who described himself as (I’m not kidding) the “ideological love-child of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop,” and who feels it’s appropriate to do press shoots in Speedos (oh, how I wishing I was kidding.) It’s going to be an interesting few months in Australian politics.
10. There is something oddly hypnotising about the Paul Simon + Chevy Chase filmclip for ‘You Can Call Me Al.’
We must make plans to leave this place
We'll build a colony
On nearby planets known to me
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried
I tried to warn them it's too late
I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
I'll try my luck in outer space
Farewell rocketship.
1. Jessica Mauboy’s predicted ‘Gabriella Chilmi-esque’ sweep of the ARIAS came to, in actual fact... one ARIA. For highest selling single. Australian music industry, thank you for restoring my faith.
2. Marieke Hardy is the sweetest, most adorable person on the planet. She’s eighteen times more attractive in person than she is on tv, and eleven thousand times more lovable than you could possibly imagine. How do I know this? The Smirnoff Crew met her at the Get Bucked Up party, we chatted with her for a good ten minutes, and I can now die happy. Even straight-as-an-arrow Shannon had a moment of swooning. (Being the raging lesbian that I am, I was of course rendered speechless for the remainder of the evening.)
3. If Bob Ellis and Annabel Crabb had a child, it would probably achieve world domination by age five. And I would be totally ok with that.
4. My five most tweeted words are “love” “watching” “people” “time” “fuck.” With a list like that it’s much harder to convince people that I’m not a creeper.
5. Not only is Josh Thomas gay, but he’s dating Tom Ballard. Most. Adorable. Couple. Ever.
6. I’m only willing to protest when it directly affects me. Refugee rights? Sad, but eh. Indigenous land rights? Couldn’t care less. Same-sex marriage bans? PASS ME MY PLACARD LET US TAKE TO THE STREETS AT ONCE.
7. Apparently, the Triple J breakfast team making the full-page Ian Ross tribute in the newspaper into a mask is ‘offensive’ and ‘degrading.’ I also learnt that the Daily Telegraph has a giant pole up its arse.
8. I may have a slight addiction to livetweeting music and political events.
9. Tony Abbott is now the Leader of the Federal Opposition Party. By a margin of one vote, the Coalition rejected the popularity of Hockey and the pragmatism of Turnball and instead went with the guy who described himself as (I’m not kidding) the “ideological love-child of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop,” and who feels it’s appropriate to do press shoots in Speedos (oh, how I wishing I was kidding.) It’s going to be an interesting few months in Australian politics.
10. There is something oddly hypnotising about the Paul Simon + Chevy Chase filmclip for ‘You Can Call Me Al.’