[One-shot] Push the button

[yoru_no_hikaru]

Title: Push the button
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters
Warnings: Swearing, a bit of making out
Summary: A long-forgotten item suddenly appears again and reminds Jun of things he really doesn’t want to think about. But then, how come it is still around? So Jun decides he needs to confront Sho…

This is for lilly0 I hope you will like it. :D

Jun glared at Sho. It wasn’t exactly an out of the ordinary sight. Jun often glared at the other, for various reasons. Jun was glad that his attitude wouldn’t rouse any suspicions, it was the best he could do to suppress the wrath that was brooding inside his chest. Just what was that bastard thinking? If it had been anything else Jun would have flown at the other right away, but he needed to stay calm and wait for Sho’s reaction. He wanted to see how Sho would cope when he found out that he was missing something. Somewhere at the back of his mind he found himself worried that Sho wouldn’t notice at all - or notice that it was missing, but wouldn’t react, because he didn’t care. That idiot. The day passed by and Sho never showed any signs of missing anything. The later it got the more irritated and aggressive Jun became.
“Okay, let’s call it a day,” Ohno finally decided. “Nino, be sure to call your chiropractor. And Jun… whatever crawled up your sleeve, be sure to have it removed by tomorrow.”
Jun nodded vaguely. He felt a bit guilty, because his mood was affecting his colleagues and it wasn’t their fault that he was feeling so furious.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I guess things were a bit too intense for me today.”
“It’s okay to have a bad day once in a while,” Ohno told him, “so we put up with it today. But be sure to have your sunny nature back tomorrow, okay?”

Again, Jun merely nodded. He closed his eyes, feeling his chest burning with suppressed anger. For a moment he debated with himself whether he should simply confront Sho no matter what - and then he saw it. Sho kept roaming through his bag for a while. Then his expression changed. He started looking around the room nervously. Jun felt an irrational wave of satisfaction running though his body, but even so he braced himself, because naturally, that didn’t change the fact that he was mad at Sho.
“Sho-chan, have you lost something?” Aiba asked.
Sho blinked at him. “Huh? Ah… I don’t know,” Sho stuttered. “I thought I had brought my wrist watch, but I can’t see it, so it’s probably still at the office.”
“We can help you look for it,” Aiba offered.
“No,” Sho burst out. He shook his head insistently. “No, no, I told you, I must have left it at the office. I’ll go back there and get it.”
“Okay, I’ll be off now. See you guys tomorrow,” Nino stated and with that he was already out the door.
“Ah, Nino, wait,” Ohno called out, quickly grabbing his stuff so he could follow the other. “You still have my wallet in your car. Nino!”

As Ohno quickly stormed out after Nino Aiba chuckled nervously. “Well, I would love to stay around, but… you guys creep me out, so I’ll just… have a nice evening, guys.”
Jun wanted to say something, but then, he figured it was better if Aiba left them alone. He and Sho had things to settle.
“Right, see your tomorrow,” Jun called out.
As soon as the door closed behind Aiba and Jun and Sho were left alone Sho turned around to face Jun. He sighed deeply.
“Okay, tell me,” Sho demanded. “What did I do? Why are you acting so cold?”
“I’m never too sympathetic towards you,” Jun shrugged.
“But you haven’t glared at me like that since I ate that moon cake that your sister made for you - which you had left lying on the table.”
Jun’s eyes narrowed. “All you ever do is make excuses. Not even when you take something that’s not yours, you can simply admit that you fucked up. You just…”
“But this is not about a moon cake, is it?” Sho asked. “If you want to be mad at me, can you at least tell me what I did to deserve it?”

Jun bit his lip hard. Who was that idiot to demand anything from him? But he would tell Sho what he had done alright.
“You broke my heart, you bastard,” Jun accused the other.
Sho blinked at him. “Sorry - what?”
“I loved you and said you didn’t want me,” Jun stated curtly.
Sho shook his head. “Did I miss something? The last time we talked about that was like… eight years ago. I said I was sorry. I mean, I know you can be unforgiving, but don’t you think it’s ridiculous to bring that up now?”
Jun sneered at the man. ”Oh, really? Say, aren’t you missing something other than your watch?”
Sho tensed visibly and Jun’s lips curved into a wining smirk.
“I’ve found something,” he told Sho. “Maybe that’s what you’re missing?”
“I don’t know what you’re…”

Sho stopped his feeble attempt to defend himself, his eyes growing wide as he looked at the small item that Jun presented to him.
“This morning when you were checking our schedule,” Jun related, “Aiba ran into the bench and knocked your bag to the ground. Some of your things fell out. We collected them quickly and put everything back… well, but this. I found it and…” His eyes pierced right at Sho. “Sho, what is this?”
Sho bit his lip for a moment, but then his face hardened as he glared back at Jun.
“You know exactly what that is,” he shot back. “And what are you thinking taking my stuff away? Give it back.”
“It’s mine,” Jun argued.
“You gave it to me,” Sho countered.
“You said you didn’t want it,” Jun claimed.
“I never said that,” Sho opposed.
“I gave it to you because I liked you,” the younger man declared. “And you knew that. And you…”

“Jun,” Sho cut in, “we already talked about this. Multiple times. And I apologized. Multiple times. I’m tired of it, really. Why can’t you please just let it go?”
Jun sneered again. “I could ask you the same thing. Why do you still have this?” he wanted to know, as he twirled the small button in between his fingers. “Why are you carrying it around?”
“Well, what do you want me to say now?” Sho demanded. “That I’m keeping it as a reminder that there was a time when you liked me? That things weren’t always like this between us? Just polite small talk and no private contact? That maybe I miss being closer to you?”
Jun shook his head furiously. “No,” he rasped out, his eyes glistening suspiciously. “If it was just that, you’d keep this thing in a drawer, or something. But you keep taking it with you - every day? It’s not just that you want to have it to remember things. You want it close to you, so that something of me will be close to you, isn’t that it? It gives you a feeling of being closer to the person it belonged to, a person that means a lot to you, isn’t that true?”
Sho blinked at him. “Well, yes,” he admitted.

Jun’s eyes narrowed again. He stormed towards Sho and gripped his shirt forcefully, shaking the man in front of him.
“You fucking bastard,” Jun burst out.
“What,” Sho demanded, ripping himself free, “the fuck is your problem?!”
Jun grabbed him again, though, pulling at Sho’s shirt and forcing him to look at Jun.
“You liked me,” the younger man yelled out. “You did.”
“Yes, I did,” Sho answered evenly.
“But you said you didn’t,” Jun shot at him. “When I told you how I felt, you said you didn’t feel that way and that you never wanted a relationship and that it never meant anything to you. The kisses. The touches. Do you know how I felt when you told me that?”
“I said I was sorry,” Sho tried to get Jun out of his frenzy.
The younger man wasn’t done yet, though.

“But now I learn that you lied to me. You had those feelings, but you still put me through that shit. You didn’t want to bother yourself with stupid little me, so you didn’t give a fuck about my feelings and just crushed my teenage heart. Who cares? Let the little fucker be miserable, at least you can back out again after realizing that you got yourself in too deep. You know what - fuck you!”
Sho had gone limp in Jun’s grip, letting him finish his outburst. It seemed that Jun had exhausted himself, so Sho tried to take the opportunity to gain some ground back.
“Are you quite done?” Sho asked softly. He grasped Jun’s hands that were still tightly fisted in his shirt, trying to loosen them a bit. “If it means anything to you, I’ve been suffering too.”
“You put that on yourself,” Jun rasped out. “That was your choice. But you did that to me and I just thought you didn’t want me because… I wasn’t good enough.”
His fingers twitched under Sho’s hands and slowly loosed their strong grip on the man’s shirt.

“Jun, what are you saying?” Sho asked, shaking his head. “If anything, you’d be too good for me and you know that.”
Finally Jun couldn’t hold it all in anymore and a single tear escaped his eye, running down his cheek as he faced Sho.
“I was just a child, though,” he explained. “I adored you. I didn’t know enough, I didn’t understand…”
“I know,” Sho answered, nodding his head slightly. “I regretted the way I dealt with everything many times, for many reasons.”
Sho’s fingers started to rub Jun’s knuckles softly and he felt them loosening slightly. As their fingers entwined slightly Sho could feel the button between Jun’s fingers. He sighed.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Jun merely nodded back at him.
“I was miserable too,” Sho said silently. “I really liked you. But I couldn’t… I just couldn’t. And seeing you every day, watching you, having you close, but being unable to be close to you…”

Jun tensed again as he saw Sho leaning towards him and closing his eyes. His hands that had been gripping Sho’s shirt started to push against his chest as he drew away with his head.
“What do you think you’re doing now”? he demanded.
Sho’s eyes opened again. He obviously didn’t know what to say. Jun merely shook his head.
“Just what are you thinking? That I would let myself be kissed now? Because I still love you? And deep down I’m really happy to know that you feel that way too?”
“You don’t, then,” Sho muttered lowly.
Jun chuckled. “It was more than ten years ago. It was nasty, but I eventually got over it. And I wasn’t waiting for a confession from you. I got mad today, yes, because I found out that you lied to me and because of that you hurt me like that and that’s just not okay. But really, this isn’t a stupid romance movie, or fucking fanfiction. You can’t seriously think that this situation can be the base for… anything between us.”

“I get it,” Sho sighed. “Sorry for being ridiculous.”
“It’s kind of good to know that you’re that kind of romantic, though,” Jun grinned. “Gives your entire character an all new facet. I mean, who would have thought?”
“I hope it mends your heart just a bit if you can make fun of me like this,” Sho muttered.
“It might,” Jun mused, his grin turning broader.
“Well, if my pain can do that, I’ll embrace it.”
“Oh god, Sho,” Jun burst out, suppressing a laugh half-successfully. “That was one of the cheesiest lines ever. Seriously, that’s so weird.”
“Glad to amuse you,” Sho smiled at the other.

They carefully detached from each other. As they stood in front of each other, they exchanged a relieved smile. Sho felt the golden button in his fingers and gripped it tightly.
“Well,” Jun mused, “now that this is all settled, I will forgive you and we go back to our normal routine, how’s that?”
“Of course,” Sho agreed.
“And we’d better not utter a word of this to one of the others,” Jun added.
“Can’t agree more,” Sho nodded back at him.
“Well, then, have a nice evening, Sho-kun.”
“You too, Jun. And… see you tomorrow.”
“Yup, see ya’.”
Jun thought he heard Sho sighing once more, but he didn’t stop to look back. He had to get out of the place as quickly as possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Oh my god,” Nino burst out. “I can’t believe you didn’t kiss him. Idiot!”
Jun made a face. “Why would I kiss him?”
“Ah, because he’s the love of your life?” Nino suggested.
“And you conclude this, because…”
“Jun,” Nino sighed, “don’t do this. If you let your pride get in the way of things, then that’s your choice, but don’t try to fool me, that’s just poor.”
“But if I just let him kiss me, he thinks he can do anything he wants and with just a few sweet words he can make it all okay again,” Jun argued.
“Ah, so you did want that kiss,” Nino pinned him.
Jun sighed. “Well, it’s not like I’ve been waiting for it - at least not for a while, but knowing that I could have it… of course, that makes you reconsider things. But when looking at it rationally, I can’t get what I want in the end, so why go there again?”
“What do you mean?” Nino wanted to know.

“He would never agree to an actual relationship,” Jun argued. “Not the way I’d want him to. He’s already looking around for a wife. He wishes to build up a family and that’s fair enough, but someone like me doesn’t fit in there.”
Nino sighed deeply. “You two, really…”
“I know,” Jun chuckled. “Sorry for bothering you with this. I just had to… talk to someone.”
“It’s fine,” Nino assured him.
“Thanks,” Jun smiled. “Oh, but please don’t talk to anyone about it, okay?”
“Your secret’s safe with me, no worries,” Nino promised.
“Thanks again,” Jun sighed. “Okay, I’ve got to get going again. Thanks again for listening.”
“Any time.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Oh my god, you tried to kiss him? Idiot!” Aiba demanded.
“I know, I know,” Sho sighed. “But with all those things laid out like that, I… I just… well, he didn’t let me anyway, so…”
“Well, what did you expect?” Aiba asked sarcastically. “You hurt him. A lot. And you lied to him. Jun is a proud man, he won’t simply succumb to you over some humble words of apology. He needs to know you’re serious about him.”
“Wha- I never said anything about serious,” Sho clarified.
“Well, you’ll have to make up your mind,” Aiba told him, “or else you’re never gonna get that kiss.”
Sho blinked. “What?!”
“Oh, sorry, gotta get going,” Aiba excused himself. “They’re calling for me. I’ll call you later.”
“S-sure,” Sho stuttered.
He kept looking at his phone for a while after Aiba had hung up.
“Serious…?” Sho muttered thoughtfully.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Such a mess, really,” Nino complained.
His fingers were hammering on his controller as he tried to finish off an opponent.
“Yeah, and all just because of a stupid button,” Aiba agreed.
They were sitting next to each other on Nino’s sofa, playing in partner mode. Ohno was sitting on the floor, watching their progress with pretty little interest.
“Yeah, and thanks for letting me in on all of this,” Ohno muttered.
“It would have been complicated if we all knew about it, but you didn’t,” Aiba explained. “That’s why we had you come over as well.”
Ohno sighed. “I guess it’s better this way. But… what are we going to do now? Is there a plan, or something?”
“Better ask him,” Aiba commented, nodding towards Nino. “He’s the plotting genius.”
“Why does that not sound like a compliment?” Nino asked pointedly.
“Do you have a plan, or not?” Ohno wanted to know.

“I… not a plan exactly,” Nino explained. He made a short pause as he tried to navigate his character through a tough area. Then he went on, “It all depends on the outcome we wish to have.”
“What do you mean?” Ohno asked.
“Whether we want them to simply forget about it all, or have them get together,” Aiba explained evenly.
“What - you can make either option work?” Ohno gasped out in disbelief.
“Well, the option where they become a couple is a lot more tricky,” Nino mused. “Plus, we’d have to live with them as a couple, which I expect would be exhausting.”
“But if we manipulate them into leaving it alone, aren’t we taking away a chance for them to get happy together?” Ohno argued.
“You see how complicated this is?” Nino sneered at the other for just a second, before focusing back on the screen.
“And here’s another thought,” Ohno offered, “how about we just leave it alone and let them deal with it the way they see fit?”

“I don’t think that’s gonna work very well,” Nino muttered. “They managed to get over these things once, but this is different. They’ve established something new but now they find that it doesn’t work the way they had expected it to. That’s going to disrupt them quite some.”
“Jun is going to withdraw from Sho-chan,” Aiba agreed. “And Sho-chan will be defensive. And ultimately we will have to choose sides. Not a nice thought.”
“Not exactly,” Ohno mumbled. “But really, even when they are not on the best of terms, don’t you think they’ll try to make it work? You know, so we can continue to be the way we are?”
“I’m not sure,” Nino sighed. “They are both strong characters. It can work in favor of them, but also in favor of them drifting apart in a way that will disturb our dynamics.”
“I still think we should just leave it alone and wait what they’ll make of it,” Ohno decided.
“Hope for the best, huh?” Nino analyzed.
“We can give them some time,” Aiba suggested, “and see how things develop.”

“Alright,” Nino agreed. “But don’t be mistaken. This is not a romance novel. Things don’t simply ease out by themselves if you just wait for the author to mend them back together.”
“But Satoshi has a point too,” Aiba argued, “if we throw ourselves in now too, there might be even more disturbance.”
“Okay,” Nino decided, “then let’s wait and see how things are going to work.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jun felt the burning eyes of all of his colleagues on his form as he got ready for their rehearsal. Sho was eyeing him warily, probably unsure how to approach him. The others were inspecting him skeptically, trying to evaluate how much damage had been dealt to their interaction. Of course, they had talked to each other. Jun did not blame them, but to him it was downright horrible. Jun wanted to turn around and go right back home. That was not an option, though, so he decided to do something that wasn’t exactly to his taste, but had the best chance to give him some of his private space back.
“Sho-kun,” he called out.
Sho turned towards him. “Yes?”
Jun grinned playfully and ripped a button from his shirt, throwing it at the other man.
“For your collection,” Jun teased.
Sho caught the small item and looked at it for a while. Then he looked up at Jun again and grinned.
“How about I sell it?” he suggested.
“If you try to I’ll force it down your throat,” Jun chirped out sweetly.
“Aw, you say the sweetest things sometimes,” Sho mock-crooned.

Jun actually found the nerve to blow Sho a kiss, who, in turn, pretended to faint from his luck. When they started to laugh, Jun felt his guts knotting up, but ultimately he was happy he had pulled that act, because after being slightly weirded out the others returned to a rather normal attitude, which helped Jun to get through the day. They had fun and enjoyed their work together and when they were done Jun was surprised that it didn’t feel even slightly awkward to stay behind with Sho.
“Thanks,” Jun muttered.
Sho blinked at him. “Huh?”
“For playing along this morning,” Jun explained, a grateful smile coming to his face.
“Oh, that,” Sho laughed nervously. “Well, their stares were killing me, so it was a good idea. Thanks for coming up with it.”
“It worked out alright,” Jun said happily.
“Because you were believable,” Sho told him. “For a second, even I thought we were all cool again.”
Jun gave him a curious look. “And now you want me to say that we are?”
“I don’t want you to go out of your ways,” Sho told him. The smile on his lips was as honest as heart-shaking. “Not for me.”

Even so, Jun could not simply let things go easily. He wasn’t out for drama, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself. He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but even so, he heard himself answering sarcastically.
“So you’re suggesting I should not ask you to go out of your ways?”
Sho blinked at him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well, even when you like me, you still hold on to your ideas and plans and I should not interfere with that,” Jun explained.
“Interfere how?” Sho wanted to know.
“By trying to win you over,” Jun clarified.
“Oh,” ho made, his eyes growing just slightly bigger, “you’d want to try to? That’s unexpected, if pleasantly so. But I don’t quite understand - how would that disrupt my plans when I already like you?”
“Your family plans,” Jun retorted. “You know, wife and kids.”
Sho looked at Jun intensely, walking closer to the man, as if trying to find something in his face - or his eyes maybe.
“What if I gave up on that?” Sho asked.
Jun just shook his head. “You want that, though. And I can’t give it to you.”
“But what if?” Sho insisted. “What if I forgot all about it?”
“Doesn’t change how things are,” Jun argued.
“Which would be…”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting,” Jun suddenly burst out. “I’m not stuck on you anymore. I have my own life, you know.”
“Of course,” Sho nodded. “And I wouldn’t want to disrupt anything there.”
“Well, good then,” Jun said curtly. “Because I’m dating someone. He’s sweet and loving and his eyes are on me only.”
Sho shrunk back slightly. “Oh. Well… I mean, you never said anything, so…”
“I don’t need to report to any of you,” Jun told him.
“No, you don’t,” Sho agreed. A sad smile had come to his face that made Jun’s heart ache. Just why was he doing that to them? Why couldn’t he just…
“Sorry,” Sho muttered. “I just thought… Well, forget it, I was being stupid. Of course, you weren’t waiting for me, or anything. It’s good if you have someone to love you.”
Jun merely nodded at the other. He turned around quickly to gather his things. As he made his way to the door he wanted to punch himself for wanting nothing more but to turn back around and throw himself into the arms of the man that was watching him leave. His anger flared up again at that thought. Sho let him leave. Just like that. Jun sighed to himself, understanding that to Sho he wasn’t worth fighting for. For a second he thought about turning back around to tell Sho just what he thought of his half-hearted half-confessions, but before he could decide whether it was worth the aggravation, he felt a hand grabbing his arm strongly and pulling him back around. Jun gasped as he found himself in those exact arms he had been longing to be wrapped in, staring at Sho in confusion.

“Sorry,” Sho mumbled, “but I can’t just accept that. Not when you still hold such strong emotions for me, not when we both need to work this out somehow and most of all not without telling you…” He sighed. “I want to tell you everything,” he explained. “But I don’t know where to start. There are so many things. There is so much that wasn’t said between us, but... Jun, I can’t let you give up on me not knowing the truth.”
“I know it now,” Jun reminded him.
Sho, however, shook his head. “Not half of it,” he insisted. “I understand the image that you have of me. But that’s not who I really am. There are things I’m not telling anyone, because… they are complicated and very private. But you should know everything. Just so you know where I’m standing. My family wants me married. And I still keep going to those stupid dates that they arrange. However, I do it only to silence their complaints. I’ve already told them that it’s likely that I won’t give them an heir, but I had to agree to going to arranged dates and see if I won’t find someone who can… well, you know, some woman that might be to my liking, turning me normal, so to speak. And as ridiculous as it might be, they leave me alone for the most part if I just keep going and that’s a big win for me. That’s why I keep dating women, okay? I am not going to get married to any of them.”

Jun’s eyes grew wide. “You’re not?”
Sho shook his head. “It might well be all… honorable to hold things up for your family, but then… what is their gain going to be? Anything that springs from that kind of marriage will be lost to them only too soon and what’s left in the end are two people who don’t really know what to do with each other, but are stuck together whether they like it or not and that’s not a future that I want for myself - or anyone for that matter.”
“Wait,” Jun muttered, shaking his head. “You don’t want to have kids?”
“When I’m being very honest, I’ve never felt like having children. It’s expected, of course, so you talk about it, but… I don’t know if you can sympathize, but I just can’t see myself as a father. I can’t imagine myself in that kind of role. For some time, I bemourned that I couldn’t find it in me, but now I’m thinking that as long as I have my own mission in life, I can be everything I need to be. And I’m satisfied with that. And I know you said that you don’t have these feelings any longer and that’s okay, of course. You’ve found someone for yourself and I know I should be happy for you, most of all after what I did to you, but… I still have these feelings. They are right here,” he said, grabbing at his shirt over his heart, “and they are all for you. I’m not saying I don’t deserve the pain I’m experiencing. You might think it’s selfish to even put this on you, but if there’s just the hint of a chance that you could still want it… I just want to lay everything out in front of you so you can make your decision knowing everything that’s in my heart. And… if I have any say in it, I want you to choose me.”

“Sho,” Jun sighed. His eyes were glistening and he hated how weak he was in front of Sho, how easily affected by his words and actions, but then he saw the watery eyes in front of him and found he didn’t mind all that much, after all. “I don’t quite know what to say now,” Jun said honestly. “That’s… a lot to take in. I didn’t expect… any of this.”
“You keep saying you want someone who will always put you first and even when you have someone like that now, I wanted to tell you that I can be that for you as well.”
“Thank you,” Jun muttered, “for telling me all of this. I… I really appreciate it. And I see your intensions behind it too. So, thank you. Just…” He looked at Sho. “It’s been so long. Whatever might have been going on between us is long gone. Even when you say that you still hold feelings for me - while that’s flattering, isn’t most of it a longing for something you could never have? Haven’t we changed too much to pick up where we left off when we were still but kids? Can we really find the base for a strong relationship from the ruins of a fucked up teenage crush? While being honest, tell me, don’t you want little Jun, who adores you and looks up to you, to gasp as you wrap your arms around him and kiss you back chastely, because he’s just discovering that he’s developing romantic feelings? Don’t you want to touch that Jun and let him learn how it feels to be close to someone who means a lot to you?”

Sho bit his lip hard.
Jun shook his head. “But I’m not that young boy anymore. I’m a man now. I’ve grown out of adolescent infatuations, I’ve had my own experiences with romance, I’ve had sex with others, I’ve experienced more heart-break and I’ve also learned what it’s like to do the heart-breaking. If you met me today, the way I am now, would you even look twice? Would you think of me as interesting in terms of finding a partner? Let’s be realistic, we’re both so different from the way we were back then, we both have a history now that needs to be handled, just saying `I liked you back then´ isn’t enough. These things won’t make us strong enough to be able to cope with each other. And you know that, don’t you?”
Sho let go of him and Jun suppressed a shudder from suddenly feeling cold. The older man held his gaze, his lips still being tortured by his teeth. After one more moment he nodded, just once, but strongly. Jun nodded back at him and made his way back to the door.
“Just to make us even,” he muttered, without even looking back as he already stood in the frame, “I should be honest too. I lied when I said I was dating someone.”
With that he was out the door, leaving Sho behind, hurt and confused.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The air between Jun and Sho grew tight again and Jun didn’t find the strength or muse to keep pretending otherwise. Sho must have felt the same way, because he kept avoiding Jun wherever he could. They weren’t mad at each other, or anything, they just couldn’t be around each other. The rest of the group noticed the change in their attitude, of course, but fortunately tried to stay out of the way for the main part. And Jun hoped that they could establish something… anything new after they recovered from their emotional rollercoaster. For the time being he felt not exactly comfortable, but at least alright when all of them were together. He just wished they could move on and leave that stupid mess behind.
“Okay, I’ve had it.”
All eyes turned toward Sho, who had spoken out loudly. His eyes were trained on Jun, a piercing look in them.
“Jun,” Sho addressed him, “I know it’s not like we’re meant to be because I think you’re cute, or you think I’m hot.”
“Sorry, did I say that?” Jun asked, slightly irritated.

“What I’m trying to say is…” He took a deep breath. “Have dinner with me tonight.”
Jun blinked at that. “Wha-what?!”
The others cheered and whistled, though, which wasn’t exactly helpful.
Sho just remained on track. “Let’s go on a date. Leaving aside what might have been between us years ago, I think I owe it to myself to discover what my current feelings are and where they lead me. So, I want to go out tonight. What’s your answer?”
Jun bit his lip. He could feel all eyes boring right at him and he hated Sho for asking him that most inappropriate question in their full dressing room, letting their friends hear everything. At the same time he found, though, that the way Sho irritated him with his ways was still so enticing, so captivating, so… Sho, that ultimately he couldn’t help smiling.
“You want to officially take me out for dinner?” he asked, amused.
“Isn’t that what you do when you start dating someone?” Sho asked back and Jun guessed that he wasn’t nearly as confident about his idea as he tried to appear to be.

“Just for the record,” Jun teased, “I want the entire program. Flowers, pick-up service, a fancy place…”
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Sho promised.
Jun grinned, shaking his head at the idea.
“You’re crazy,” Jun decided.
“Crazy for you,” Sho offered.
“You really should drop the cheesy lines,” Jun teased.
“And you should give an answer to a man who is hanging onto the last bits of his nerves,” Sho told him.
“Well, yes, then,” Jun said.
Sho remained quite composed, but his eyes were sparkling, giving away his joy and relief.
“You’ll be picked up at eight,” Sho told him.

Jun nodded and with that quickly turned around, hiding his grin from the other man. He felt a hand clasping his shoulder encouragingly and he thought it must have been Aiba’s, but he didn’t look up to check. He had to get home and… take a shower, shave, do his nails, wash his hair, not necessarily in that order, but then he also had to pick an outfit. Should he go in casual elegant style, just elegant, maybe casual only? But no, Sho had promised to take him to a fancy place, so…
Jun’s thoughts were interrupted as his doorbell rang. He had just left the shower and was still only wrapped in a towel as he quickly rushed to the door. Upon opening it, he blinked. There was a delivery boy out there, even though, he was dressed too well for a delivery boy. He handed Jun a huge package, along with an impressive bouquet of roses.
“Matsumoto-san?”
“Yes?” Jun muttered.
“Ah, please, sign here,” the young man requested.
“But… I didn’t order anything,” Jun argued.
“Oh, no,” the young man told him, “this was ordered to be delivered to you here.”

Jun blinked, but accepted the package and signed the form. As he moved back into his apartment, he placed the parcel on his bed. Then he quickly put the beautiful flowers in a vase. He smiled as he looked at them. Then he remembered the mysterious package and hurried back into his bedroom to inspect it. As he opened the parcel, his eyes went wide. There was a suit in it, all fixed with a bow tie and fancy cufflinks that had a small jewel which was sparkling madly. The suit itself was also special. It was a wonderful midnight blue color, the vest was slightly asymmetric with a rather complex looking button sequence. The jacket was really a tailcoat and the shirt that came with it had an aristocratic-looking embroidery on it. Jun chuckled, shaking his head. He would have to give Sho that he knew how to make an impression.
The same went for his pick-up service. At exactly 8p.m. he was informed by the doorman that a car was waiting for him. Jun took another look at himself in the mirror. He looked positively expensive and he wouldn’t deny that he liked it. At the same time h wondered again if Sho had actually picked the outfit out himself. Jun decided he had to ask Sho about it. At the moment he was just nervously checking if he had everything on him that he needed. He’d debated with himself several times whether he should bring his wallet - and ultimately decided that not bringing it would make him appear too easy, so he pocketed it along with his phone and mints (what - you take mints with you when going out for dinner, that’s just normal). He took one deep breath and made his way down onto the street. As he saw the car standing on the street he saw that Sho was not waiting for him, but a chauffeur was opening one of the back doors for him. Jun guessed that Sho had him picked up and was waiting for him at the restaurant already, so he got in quickly. He jumped slightly when he saw Sho already sitting on the back bench of the limousine, waiting for him.

“Ten minutes,” Sho complained. “You’re such a girl, really.”
Jun blushed slightly, glaring at Sho as he made himself comfortable.
“Thanks,” he uttered sarcastically, “you look good yourself.”
Sho chuckled slightly. “I’m pretty sure that I do,” he offered. “Same as you. And before you ask me, no, I did not choose that outfit for you. I have someone who… has a good eye for these things. He picked my outfit as well. Do you think it’s okay?”
Jun glanced over at Sho, taking in his form. Sho’s suit was classic black. It wasn’t as glamorous as the one Jun was wearing, but it still had some nice accents that kept it from looking plain. Jun nodded approvingly.
“Thank goodness,” Sho sighed. “I was worried I can’t match your style.”
Jun smiled at that. “You were worried?”
“Well, it’s our first date,” Sho explained. “I’m nervous as hell, if I fuck his up, there’s no way I’ll ever get your kiss - not to mention that our group dynamics are going to be ruined forever.”

Jun laughed, but the smile always remained on his face. “It’s good to know you’re nervous too.”
“Why would you be nervous?” Sho asked. “It’s me who has to win your heart.”
“Well, maybe I want this to be a good date,” Jun suggested. “So, give it your best.”
“First dates are never good,” Sho stated. “It’s my goal to make it as little uncomfortable and forced as possible, so you will consider going on a second date.”
“I see. Well, let’s see how things will be going,” Jun said with a grin.
Sho’s words proved to be just slightly right. The beginning of their date was a bit stiff and felt weird. The restaurant and its etiquette didn’t exactly help there either, although Jun found it highly interesting to visit a place like that. He mimicked everything Sho did and even asked about certain things when he wasn’t sure what they were about. After a while they really started to have a good time, though. They talked leisurely and laughed together.

The food was delicious too. Jun let Sho lead him through the entire dinner, ordering their drinks and food. He found that he very much liked how sophisticated Sho looked, how easily he ordered dishes he could not even pronounce properly. Along with the food and Sho’s presence he enjoyed the view they had from the panorama window. People could call him spoilt as much as they wanted, he just loved this. When they were done eating, Sho paid the bill and led Jun back out onto the street. He let Jun decide whether he wanted to get back into the car, or rather walk back home together. Jun very much liked the focus Sho put on him. He decided they should walk back. They didn’t even talk too much as they walked side by side. When Jun was certain that nobody was watching them, though, he hooked his pinky with Sho’s - just for a moment, but his heart started hammering in his chest as he felt Sho’s finger curling around his. Jun’s apartment was closer, so they reached his home first.
“So,” Sho asked, smiling at Jun, “how bad was it?”
Jun chuckled. “It was a bit weird at first, but overall it was a pretty cool date.”
“So… are we gonna have a second one?”

“If you ask me out again,” Jun offered, “I’ll say yes.”
“How about you ask me out?” Sho suggested with a grin.
“How about you go for that kiss you claim to want so badly?” Jun teased.
“Oh, you kiss on first dates?” Sho asked, mocking shock.
Jun grinned at him and pulled Sho in by the collar of his coat, showing him that he was a man who knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted it. And damn, he wanted those lips on his so he leaned forward and captured them with his own. The little gasp that escaped Sho gave Jun a delicious shiver and then they were finally kissing. Jun found that Sho was a bit too harsh sometimes, but he adapted quickly whenever Jun whispered to him “take it slow”, or “don’t push so hard”. In the end it wasn’t exactly a smooth kiss, but a promising one.
“Mh,” Sho hummed as they finally separated. “You wouldn’t happen to fuck on first dates too?”
“Oh, I don’t think so,” Jun grinned at him.
“Perfect,” Sho grinned back. “I don’t like easy guys.”
“Oh, you’re gonna have a lot of fun with me, then,” Jun winked at him. He gave Sho a loving peck to his cheek and said his good nights before disappearing in his apartment building. He grinned to himself. It had been a really cool date and he was already looking forward to the next one.

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“Fuck, Sho,” Jun cursed, as he ground his hips into Sho’s who was straddling his lap and rubbed his bum urgently against the tent in Jun’s pants.
“Ungh, Jun,” Sho gasped. “I want you.”
He pulled off his shirt and discarded it to the ground as Jun’s hands found their way beneath the hem of his pants to grasp his ass.
“Mh, plush,” Jun moaned.
“It’s good to know you don’t mind plump,” Sho grinned.
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” Jun assured him.
He was just about to discard his own shirt when a surprised gasp caught their attention.
“Oh my god, guys,” Nino complained, covering his eyes, “go home for this stuff.”
“Ah, we… we thought all of you had left for today,” Jun muttered as he removed Sho from his lap and covered it with a cushion.
“I was already on my way home,” Nino explained, taking a careful look at the scene and when he found it just about safe, he stepped in fully. “I forgot my DS, though, so…”
“Well, then, get it already,” Sho grumbled, glaring at Nino.

Nino nodded quickly and walked through to get his gaming gear. Once he had it and made to leave, he grinned at the couple on the sofa.
“Well, have fun, you two. But don’t get too loud, people are still working around here. Wow, I can’t believe that you’re this bold after just a few weeks of dating. But then, I always knew you’d be a troublesome couple.”
“Nino, if you don’t leave this instant, I swear, I’ll come home with you and smash your entire gaming attire.”
“Okay, okay,” Nino waved him off. “See you guys tomorrow.”
With that he swept back out the door.
Sho turned his gaze back towards Jun, who still looked at bit uncomfortable, but who was also still prominently hard.
“So, where were we?” Sho asked, a sly grin on his face.
Jun grinned back at him. “Oh, I think I remember…”

Jun squealed slightly as Sho bounced onto him, attacking him with hands and lips. It was utterly perfect. Sex at work had been on their list for a while. It was good to do out of the ordinary stuff. But most of all Jun found that Sho was not only a satisfying lover, but also a truly dedicated boyfriend. For a second nervousness rose in him at the thought that he was supposed to meet Sho’s family the following weekend, but when he felt a tongue playing with his nipple he decided that he could worry about that some other time, as much more promising things were calling for his attention, right then and there. Jun pulled Sho level to his face and kissed him passionately, enthralled by their erotic game. Sho’s kissing had improved a lot since their first try and his lips always tasted wonderfully.
“I love you,” he breathed into Sho’s ear as he pulled away from their kiss.
Sho pulled back to look at him.
“Oh, shut up,” he muttered.
Jun chuckled as Sho bent down again to pick up their kiss. It was Sho’s very own way of confessing. Sho, who was so different from the young man he had liked and adored once, but who had grown into a man that was so complex, such an enthralling paradox that Jun had fallen in love with him so naturally, so deeply, it must have been fate, after all. His very own fate and he was only too happy to embrace it. Every day.

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Well, I hope you liked it. I sure enjoyed writing it. ^_^