Apparently, when I tell LiveJournal that I want to friend someone, it doesn't do so. It should all be fixed now, though. I'm crossing my fingers
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I have unconventional views on weddings (to the point that, if I ever get married, I would struggle with the desire to buck every single tradition), so this might not be what you're looking for. But for what it's worth... It's YOUR wedding. It's about you and the boy and the people you want to celebrate with. Fuck what other people think you should do. If bullshit consumerist conventions don't feel like something you want to do, don't do it, and don't let people make you feel bad for it. I don't know whats "proper" in terms of obtaining bridesmaids, but just asking sounds like the more honest way to go to me. I feel like weddings often turn into giant bullshit fests that distract from honest happiness and individuality. (I think I'm doing a bad job of articulating this. But I think relationships and friendships are beautiful, unique things, and for me personally, the idea of not just having a heartfelt, excited conversation with a friend about being a bridesmaid turns it into a weird thing that makes me uncomfortable, and I don't
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I too was given 'the book' before my wedding. Personally, I believe 'the book' has not been updated since the 30s. Tell/Ask/invite your friends however YOU want to.
The Book is good for giving you guidelines for things like a timeline, just to keep the train on track, that kind of thing, but it can't tell you what is proper or improper any more, IMO.
You are already a caring and polite person - do what you feel is right, allow yourself to be the person with the most important opinion for once, pick your battles, and remember that at the end of the day, all you'll remember about it is how good it felt to finally get to eat dinner. :)
First of all, there is no proper. Most of all the "proper" ideas were invented by the monster that is the wedding industry. You can have any kind of wedding you like! I recommend reading Offbeat Bride for ideas and refreshing sanity amidst a sea of tulle and easily offended people.
Kieran and I are keeping traditions that are important to us and ditching things that aren't.
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Can't really give much advice though XD I've only been involved with one wedding and I was seven at the time XD
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I too was given 'the book' before my wedding. Personally, I believe 'the book' has not been updated since the 30s. Tell/Ask/invite your friends however YOU want to.
The Book is good for giving you guidelines for things like a timeline, just to keep the train on track, that kind of thing, but it can't tell you what is proper or improper any more, IMO.
You are already a caring and polite person - do what you feel is right, allow yourself to be the person with the most important opinion for once, pick your battles, and remember that at the end of the day, all you'll remember about it is how good it felt to finally get to eat dinner. :)
Reply
Kieran and I are keeping traditions that are important to us and ditching things that aren't.
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Gabrielle
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