(no subject)
Let me blow the dust off of this tome.
6 years. 6 years since I graduated high school. And all that time I never thought I'd be at this point. With one semester left of student teaching, I'm almost a college graduate. I used to shudder at the thought of picking up another pen after high school. "No way," I thought to myself. "I'm gonna be a workin' man." 6 years later, here I am. Sipping my water, my window open, the moon out, and enjoying one of my last few weeks in my dorm. When you say it like that. . . you wonder where the time has gone. Yet, it feels like I'm going nowhere. Tomorrow is going to be the same routine as it has been. Wake up, go to class, work, class, back here. Its been five years of routine. Will I have a good day tomorrow? What will my routine be this summer? Will I be a good student teacher? How will things be when I graduate? Will I graduate? Its so easy for me to get caught up in what happens in the future. It always has been -- its what I've strive for, to be there when all of it happens. If it happens.
Everyone has their point when they realize they aren't their parent's children anymore. They aren't the princes and princesses that they once were. At one point, we look back and wonder, how long ago did I become a man? It goes by so fast, its so hard to narrow it down to one specific decision. All we know is that whatever had happened, happened. All we can do is deal with it and move on. Its not a mid-mid life crisis, not by a long shot. Just revelations.
One of my best friends over the past 9 years is getting married. "Wow." That's pretty much how I responded. I've had friends get engaged, get married, and have kids before, but this just struck me. Maybe its because she was always the one who never could keep herself in a relationship. Just as I had, she had grown. We all grow. I remember when I was working a conference at CMU one year, we actually got to hang out while she was still living up there. Its almost as if it were yesterday, but here I sit, four years later. While I don't think we'll ever admit it to each other, I think we really have gone our separate ways. Not in such a way we could never be friends, but we are a far cry from what we were.
While others plan their next dates, their weddings, or anniversaries, I sit trying to plan a different future. Where I am successful, making money, and making a name for myself in my profession. Am I missing out? I mean, really? I've been out there, I've dated, and I've gone out with friends. It was just until about two months ago that I was in a committed relationship. But now it rarely crosses my mind. I've burdened myself with so much work that it doesn't cross my mind. And if it does, then I give myself more work.
Five years down, a good forty to go.
6 years. 6 years since I graduated high school. And all that time I never thought I'd be at this point. With one semester left of student teaching, I'm almost a college graduate. I used to shudder at the thought of picking up another pen after high school. "No way," I thought to myself. "I'm gonna be a workin' man." 6 years later, here I am. Sipping my water, my window open, the moon out, and enjoying one of my last few weeks in my dorm. When you say it like that. . . you wonder where the time has gone. Yet, it feels like I'm going nowhere. Tomorrow is going to be the same routine as it has been. Wake up, go to class, work, class, back here. Its been five years of routine. Will I have a good day tomorrow? What will my routine be this summer? Will I be a good student teacher? How will things be when I graduate? Will I graduate? Its so easy for me to get caught up in what happens in the future. It always has been -- its what I've strive for, to be there when all of it happens. If it happens.
Everyone has their point when they realize they aren't their parent's children anymore. They aren't the princes and princesses that they once were. At one point, we look back and wonder, how long ago did I become a man? It goes by so fast, its so hard to narrow it down to one specific decision. All we know is that whatever had happened, happened. All we can do is deal with it and move on. Its not a mid-mid life crisis, not by a long shot. Just revelations.
One of my best friends over the past 9 years is getting married. "Wow." That's pretty much how I responded. I've had friends get engaged, get married, and have kids before, but this just struck me. Maybe its because she was always the one who never could keep herself in a relationship. Just as I had, she had grown. We all grow. I remember when I was working a conference at CMU one year, we actually got to hang out while she was still living up there. Its almost as if it were yesterday, but here I sit, four years later. While I don't think we'll ever admit it to each other, I think we really have gone our separate ways. Not in such a way we could never be friends, but we are a far cry from what we were.
While others plan their next dates, their weddings, or anniversaries, I sit trying to plan a different future. Where I am successful, making money, and making a name for myself in my profession. Am I missing out? I mean, really? I've been out there, I've dated, and I've gone out with friends. It was just until about two months ago that I was in a committed relationship. But now it rarely crosses my mind. I've burdened myself with so much work that it doesn't cross my mind. And if it does, then I give myself more work.
Five years down, a good forty to go.