For true_writers and un_love_you
Title: I Can't Stay
Characters: Stuntman Mike, mention of Butterfly
Fandom: Grindhouse/Death Proof
Word Count: 601
Rating: PG
Prompt: Un_love_you 15. This is my desperation in action.
and true_writers 1. If you must say that to me, then whisper it.
Summary: Mike decides there is someone he doesn't want to kill.
Mike was getting cold feet, freezing feet when he looked at Butterfly still sleeping on the couch. He didn't want to be here. He did but then he didn't. This wasn't what he thought life should be. Women hated him and used him. That's how it always was. She couldn't possibly be any different. Mike had thought about it for a long while when he was still laying down with her. This life felt too much like a trap and too much like a lie. He wanted to kill her again but it was getting worse not better.
He went into the bedroom and packed his bag and camera case. She didn't need to know. Maybe she'd just think he went to work and then he'd never come back. She was strong enough to go on without him. He'd convinced himself over a year ago that he'd kill her. He was still convinced he was going to kill her. He dreamed about it all the time. She was dead and heavily pregnant. Sometimes on the street, somtimes in his car, others in someone else's car but she was always dead. When he woke up from those dreams he felt aroused and wanted to suffocate her. He dreamed about strangling her when he woke from the dreams in his head. Things were getting too twisted. Even Mike was realizing how bad it was. That was the reason he couldn't stay. As much as he fantasied about her death he didn't want her dead. He didn't want his daughter dead.
Mike took his bags and left them by the front door. Leaving her was walking out on the only one he might have cared for besides his own mother. Mike didn't even know anymore what he felt when he saw her on the couch. Even if he couldn't place his own emotions Mike knew she trusted him. She was too close. Mike pulled on his coat and walked over to the couch. For a long time he stood over her unmoving. Anymore it didn't wake Butterfly. She knew he still stalked her sometimes depsite the fact they lived together. He couldn't help the desire to follow her, photograph her like he had the first time he saw her. It was just a normal part of their life now. One that Mike had hoped would temper the drive to kill the woman carrying his child.
Nothing stopped the want for death. McKay knelt down and kissed her cheek. "I love you Arlene but I can't stay. I can't do this anymore. You and Dolores deserve to live."
Mike didn't think many people deserved to live. It was hard to admit she was one of them. It was even more difficult to realize that was the reason he had to leave her behind. Mike got up and didn't look back. He shouldered the bags and left his door key on the counter. There was a photo of them there together that they'd taken on set. Mike picked it up and pushed it in his pocket.
He always loved walking out to his car. The car was part of him and a friend. He dreaded getting in it but there was no choice. Mike walked with a forced determination to the door, opened it and tossed his bags into the back. Once in the car there was no turning back. He pulled the door shut quietly and buckled up before he started the car and pulled away. This had to be good-bye before he killed his own child and killed someone he might actually regret killing.
Characters: Stuntman Mike, mention of Butterfly
Fandom: Grindhouse/Death Proof
Word Count: 601
Rating: PG
Prompt: Un_love_you 15. This is my desperation in action.
and true_writers 1. If you must say that to me, then whisper it.
Summary: Mike decides there is someone he doesn't want to kill.
Mike was getting cold feet, freezing feet when he looked at Butterfly still sleeping on the couch. He didn't want to be here. He did but then he didn't. This wasn't what he thought life should be. Women hated him and used him. That's how it always was. She couldn't possibly be any different. Mike had thought about it for a long while when he was still laying down with her. This life felt too much like a trap and too much like a lie. He wanted to kill her again but it was getting worse not better.
He went into the bedroom and packed his bag and camera case. She didn't need to know. Maybe she'd just think he went to work and then he'd never come back. She was strong enough to go on without him. He'd convinced himself over a year ago that he'd kill her. He was still convinced he was going to kill her. He dreamed about it all the time. She was dead and heavily pregnant. Sometimes on the street, somtimes in his car, others in someone else's car but she was always dead. When he woke up from those dreams he felt aroused and wanted to suffocate her. He dreamed about strangling her when he woke from the dreams in his head. Things were getting too twisted. Even Mike was realizing how bad it was. That was the reason he couldn't stay. As much as he fantasied about her death he didn't want her dead. He didn't want his daughter dead.
Mike took his bags and left them by the front door. Leaving her was walking out on the only one he might have cared for besides his own mother. Mike didn't even know anymore what he felt when he saw her on the couch. Even if he couldn't place his own emotions Mike knew she trusted him. She was too close. Mike pulled on his coat and walked over to the couch. For a long time he stood over her unmoving. Anymore it didn't wake Butterfly. She knew he still stalked her sometimes depsite the fact they lived together. He couldn't help the desire to follow her, photograph her like he had the first time he saw her. It was just a normal part of their life now. One that Mike had hoped would temper the drive to kill the woman carrying his child.
Nothing stopped the want for death. McKay knelt down and kissed her cheek. "I love you Arlene but I can't stay. I can't do this anymore. You and Dolores deserve to live."
Mike didn't think many people deserved to live. It was hard to admit she was one of them. It was even more difficult to realize that was the reason he had to leave her behind. Mike got up and didn't look back. He shouldered the bags and left his door key on the counter. There was a photo of them there together that they'd taken on set. Mike picked it up and pushed it in his pocket.
He always loved walking out to his car. The car was part of him and a friend. He dreaded getting in it but there was no choice. Mike walked with a forced determination to the door, opened it and tossed his bags into the back. Once in the car there was no turning back. He pulled the door shut quietly and buckled up before he started the car and pulled away. This had to be good-bye before he killed his own child and killed someone he might actually regret killing.