le sigh
Well, its been a while since any update has happened on here... so i guess i shall just talk about everything.
Firstly, the reason why I came on LJ. I suddenly feel completely confused, and I am a little bit hurt at the moment, and there isnt really anyone to talk to. I have tried messaging a couple of my friends, but no one has replied, and no one that I tried to talk to on the net has responded. So that is nice and crappy, and adding to my "great" mood. Ha. You would think that any girl who has one, two, three, FOUR! Four guys on her trail. One I am not interested in. Two have girlfriends... (what is WITH that) and the other is a good friend of mine whose feelings I think I have toyed with and I dont know what to say, or whether he is serious enough about me to press it further than just flirting. Not to mention now the other guy who I am interested in but who has NO IDEA that I do, and I am too scared to tell him.... Oh, and those two guys I mentioned who have girlfriends... one of them kissed me the other day (dont ask- his relationship with this girl is just beginning and he isnt even sure if he likes her but he is going to 'give it a go' but he still really likes me- apparently) what the hell? and the other one, well he has been with his girl for 7months or something but he always tells me about how they're always fighting lately, and he flirts with me heaps, and i dont know... whatever. When it comes down to it, I like the guy who kissed me, but chose the other girl- and messaged me tonight to say that he thought he had better let this thing with this other chick happen for a while- just to see what happened- that he owed it to her or something... and I still like the guy who is oblivious to the fact that I like him. Its all so screwed up. So thats why I am hurt, and confused. I dont know what to do. He kissed me, and he knows that it was unfair, and he apologised, and he says he is still interested in me, yet, he has chosen her. And, well, the other guy- I am just too freaking scared to tell him. Everything is so confusing. and screwed. and stupid.
Onto uni- its awesome. Loving every minute. performance one has begun so i am fully going nuts. i have 8am starts tuesday to friday, and i havnt been getting to be until at least 12pm every night. i have to be up at 5:30am to beat the morning traffic and get there in time to warm up and stuff. so really i need to be there by about 7:30-7:45. soooo very tired. but so creatively stimulated and enjoying every minute. but sleep is good and i think i would like an early night tonight. so, im going to go, i have had my rant about boys and their stupidity, and inablity to think before they hurt you or confuse you. now i shall go.