Am I Fat?
title : Do you think I'm F-A-T?
author : autumnwaters
warning : AU, mpreg
pairing : ItaNaru
summary : An overly eager blond, a reserved brunet, and an unbreakable curse leads to an interesting outcome.
Disclaimer : As usual, I do not own Naruto. I haven't managed to persuade Kishimoto-sensei just yet.
Enjoy!!
"'Tachi , do you think I'm getting fat?" The blond scowled down at his belly.
"You're pregnant," the brunet deadpanned, not even looking up from his paperwork.
"Trust me! That's not something I can forget," The blond sounded nearly hysterical. "That wasn’t my question though. Am I F-A-T?"
A rather quiet and put-upon sigh whispered through the room. "Yes, but you're supposed to be aren't you?"
"I'm huge! Gigantic!"
"You're not," Itachi said.
"Liar," Naruto accused, blue eyes seemingly spitting fire. "I'm freaking enormous, and YOU think I'm fat!"
Itachi looked up from his work and removed his thin silver-framed glasses, "How long do they say these mood swings last again?"
"Like I know," Naruto griped. "It's not as though this happens often enough that they have books written about it or anything. You're the one who made me this way, so don't you complain about my moods."
"So we're back to blaming me again." The brunet muttered under his breath. That's what…the twentieth time this week and it's only Wednesday? He thought to himself.
"Yes, Naruto, it's all my fault and you had nothing to do with it of course. Despite it being you who went into the tomb before I even had a chance to check for any residual curses that the ancients were so fond of placing. If I remember correctly, I told you to stay back at the campsite until I had a chance to do the initial survey. You were the one who was so desperate for my cock that you crawled after me like a cock-hungry slut and begged me to fuck you then and there."
The blond snarled, "You're the famed curse breaker. Like an idiot, I thought that was literal, like you know, you broke curses." Naruto rubbed his tummy which seemed to have doubled in size within the few weeks they entered Konoha and sighed. "If I had any idea that some thrice-damned Kami of the ancients thought it would have been funny to design this freaking curse, I definitely wouldn't have fucked you. And it's not my fault that you couldn't break it once it was there now is it?" The blond was snippy by the time he finished.
The brunet sighed again. "All this stress isn't all that good for the baby," he pointed out quietly. "It's nearly 6 months and obviously Naruto, it's not going to go away. I had thought you had accepted this and were adjusting."
"How was I supposed to know I could become pregnant. Men aren't even supposed to be able to and I dunno how the women deal with it. It's worse than dealing with Kyuubi when he's pissed," and the blond sidetracked. "And it's that furball's fault I even managed to stay pregnant too! Can't stop making my life miserable. And now my ankles are all swollen and my back hurts. I swear I'm developing breasts and…and I'm horny all the fucking time. What if I turn into a woman? Worse yet…what if I stay like this?" the blond ranted and ended up wailing in horror.
"Since when was being horny all the time a feminine trait?" Itachi scoffed as he fought off the ill-timed smirk rising on his lips. "You're not going to become a woman," he placated, seeing the fury rising again in those gorgeous blue eyes. "While a man having a baby is definitely unique, and something only you'd end up doing, Tsunade-sama has done all the tests and determined that your body is adjusting well and that you're healthy, if not a bit…larger for how far along you are. Once the child's born, life and you will be back to normal and the curse will end."
"There's no normal after this Itachi! We're gonna have a kid. There's gonna be a drooling, wailing baby who will call us Dad and has to be looked for all of his…her…its life! Everything's changing and you know it!" The blue eyes looked nearly accusing at the end of this.
"This may not have been anything we'd ever expect to happen, but it is and we're going to deal with it and all that it comes with to the best of our abilities."
"But you're gonna be fine," the blond emphasized, "you're from a gigantic clan and you have a little brother. I'm just the fat ugly orphan who's weird enough to get himself knocked up."
"We'll be fine. Remember the kids at the Academy adore you. And for the record, you're not ugly fat; just…" the brunet seemed to be struggling for a word, "just glowingly pregnant-fat. Now will you tell me what you really want?"
"That’s not helping Itachi. 'Nata said Sasuke was always massaging her feet when she was carrying Kosuke. You're s'pposed to be doing that too."
Itachi smirked and rose out of his seat and stalked towards the glowering blond. He bent down and whispered into the tanned ear and breathed against the blond, "I doubt that's all that little brother was doing. And you can't blame the pregnancy for being a slut you know. You're whining because I'm not giving you enough attention."
The blond panted, "Prove it."
Itachi moved and kissed the pregnant blond, lips and teeth nipping, sucking, punishing the blond as he pushed them towards the study wall. Abruptly he pulled back, smirking at the pleading moan that escaped the blond's mouth. His hand drifted down and cupped his evidence. "I'm quite certain I proved it." And started to back away.
The blond snarled and grabbed the retreating hand. "Go and you'll be on the couch until I give birth."
"You wouldn't last the night," Itachi foretold.
"So fuck me," the blond growled and reached to pull his lover back down.
Itachi chuckled and let the blond manhandle him into another punishing kiss. He dragged the blond up and groaned when the swollen belly rubbed against him and got them into their bedroom and managed to lock the door, not wanting another incident with Sasuke or his brood barging in.
In a way, he thought, he looked forward to the last three months.
So this has been on my computer for a long time. Just finished finals in the afternoon and didn't want to sleep yet, so I've gone an finally posted something here on my lj after months!
author : autumnwaters
warning : AU, mpreg
pairing : ItaNaru
summary : An overly eager blond, a reserved brunet, and an unbreakable curse leads to an interesting outcome.
Disclaimer : As usual, I do not own Naruto. I haven't managed to persuade Kishimoto-sensei just yet.
Enjoy!!
"'Tachi , do you think I'm getting fat?" The blond scowled down at his belly.
"You're pregnant," the brunet deadpanned, not even looking up from his paperwork.
"Trust me! That's not something I can forget," The blond sounded nearly hysterical. "That wasn’t my question though. Am I F-A-T?"
A rather quiet and put-upon sigh whispered through the room. "Yes, but you're supposed to be aren't you?"
"I'm huge! Gigantic!"
"You're not," Itachi said.
"Liar," Naruto accused, blue eyes seemingly spitting fire. "I'm freaking enormous, and YOU think I'm fat!"
Itachi looked up from his work and removed his thin silver-framed glasses, "How long do they say these mood swings last again?"
"Like I know," Naruto griped. "It's not as though this happens often enough that they have books written about it or anything. You're the one who made me this way, so don't you complain about my moods."
"So we're back to blaming me again." The brunet muttered under his breath. That's what…the twentieth time this week and it's only Wednesday? He thought to himself.
"Yes, Naruto, it's all my fault and you had nothing to do with it of course. Despite it being you who went into the tomb before I even had a chance to check for any residual curses that the ancients were so fond of placing. If I remember correctly, I told you to stay back at the campsite until I had a chance to do the initial survey. You were the one who was so desperate for my cock that you crawled after me like a cock-hungry slut and begged me to fuck you then and there."
The blond snarled, "You're the famed curse breaker. Like an idiot, I thought that was literal, like you know, you broke curses." Naruto rubbed his tummy which seemed to have doubled in size within the few weeks they entered Konoha and sighed. "If I had any idea that some thrice-damned Kami of the ancients thought it would have been funny to design this freaking curse, I definitely wouldn't have fucked you. And it's not my fault that you couldn't break it once it was there now is it?" The blond was snippy by the time he finished.
The brunet sighed again. "All this stress isn't all that good for the baby," he pointed out quietly. "It's nearly 6 months and obviously Naruto, it's not going to go away. I had thought you had accepted this and were adjusting."
"How was I supposed to know I could become pregnant. Men aren't even supposed to be able to and I dunno how the women deal with it. It's worse than dealing with Kyuubi when he's pissed," and the blond sidetracked. "And it's that furball's fault I even managed to stay pregnant too! Can't stop making my life miserable. And now my ankles are all swollen and my back hurts. I swear I'm developing breasts and…and I'm horny all the fucking time. What if I turn into a woman? Worse yet…what if I stay like this?" the blond ranted and ended up wailing in horror.
"Since when was being horny all the time a feminine trait?" Itachi scoffed as he fought off the ill-timed smirk rising on his lips. "You're not going to become a woman," he placated, seeing the fury rising again in those gorgeous blue eyes. "While a man having a baby is definitely unique, and something only you'd end up doing, Tsunade-sama has done all the tests and determined that your body is adjusting well and that you're healthy, if not a bit…larger for how far along you are. Once the child's born, life and you will be back to normal and the curse will end."
"There's no normal after this Itachi! We're gonna have a kid. There's gonna be a drooling, wailing baby who will call us Dad and has to be looked for all of his…her…its life! Everything's changing and you know it!" The blue eyes looked nearly accusing at the end of this.
"This may not have been anything we'd ever expect to happen, but it is and we're going to deal with it and all that it comes with to the best of our abilities."
"But you're gonna be fine," the blond emphasized, "you're from a gigantic clan and you have a little brother. I'm just the fat ugly orphan who's weird enough to get himself knocked up."
"We'll be fine. Remember the kids at the Academy adore you. And for the record, you're not ugly fat; just…" the brunet seemed to be struggling for a word, "just glowingly pregnant-fat. Now will you tell me what you really want?"
"That’s not helping Itachi. 'Nata said Sasuke was always massaging her feet when she was carrying Kosuke. You're s'pposed to be doing that too."
Itachi smirked and rose out of his seat and stalked towards the glowering blond. He bent down and whispered into the tanned ear and breathed against the blond, "I doubt that's all that little brother was doing. And you can't blame the pregnancy for being a slut you know. You're whining because I'm not giving you enough attention."
The blond panted, "Prove it."
Itachi moved and kissed the pregnant blond, lips and teeth nipping, sucking, punishing the blond as he pushed them towards the study wall. Abruptly he pulled back, smirking at the pleading moan that escaped the blond's mouth. His hand drifted down and cupped his evidence. "I'm quite certain I proved it." And started to back away.
The blond snarled and grabbed the retreating hand. "Go and you'll be on the couch until I give birth."
"You wouldn't last the night," Itachi foretold.
"So fuck me," the blond growled and reached to pull his lover back down.
Itachi chuckled and let the blond manhandle him into another punishing kiss. He dragged the blond up and groaned when the swollen belly rubbed against him and got them into their bedroom and managed to lock the door, not wanting another incident with Sasuke or his brood barging in.
In a way, he thought, he looked forward to the last three months.
So this has been on my computer for a long time. Just finished finals in the afternoon and didn't want to sleep yet, so I've gone an finally posted something here on my lj after months!